7_steps_2_Heaven Posted November 4, 2003 Tell me guys, isn't merriage suppose 2 be 4ever if u marry 4 da right reasons. nowdays I keep hearing "heblaayo ninkeedi naag buu guursaday iyadoo ogeen, 6 caruur na wey u haysaa". y do they do it behind their wives back? many husbands now tell their wives that they r gonna go to arab countries or africa to work "better future 4 our family" but after few months later we hear gabar 15jir buu guursaday. for god's sake, y cant they be man enough 2 tell their poor wives in the first place. somali women believe that if u give birth boys 2 ur partner then he shall never leave u. THAT'S BULLSHIT! what ever happend 2 the saying SHAN WIIL SHITTO MA'MACEYSO! me personally, if i get merried and have kids (insha allaah) and i know that my merriege is going down da hill I wouldnt stay innit coz of da children. if im not happy how can i provide 2 my children secure home. i have millions reasons 2 back me up on this 1, but im not gonna go into further details coz its gonna take ages. Do u guys feel me? Do I have supporters? Let me know what u think plzzzzzzzzz! ps. I know that men can marry 4wives, but didnt Allah say that the second wife 2-be should first have da permission of da first wife, if we know that da first wive is gonna walk away 4rm her merriege and family cos of da other lady then we r not allow to do it. Do we follow our Quran, our law??? have ur say Ramadaan kariim, sambuuzka yaa la iska badinin! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality Check Posted November 4, 2003 ^ couldn't have said it better. My friends and I were just having this conversation last nite....and we're still puzzled. It must be a post-war thing! :confused: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N.O.R.F Posted November 4, 2003 Looks like male bashing season is back! <<<<holding his ears! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality Check Posted November 4, 2003 ^ Actually, it's Somali men bashing season Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N.O.R.F Posted November 4, 2003 i see nothing changes, ah well, its falling on deaf ears as usual! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuNsHyNe Posted November 4, 2003 You got a point there caramel kisses! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maajo Posted November 4, 2003 i think it depends how u deal with ur husband (husbands can be controled if u satisfy him...u somali ladies bush us to marry second wife as u make us head-ache at home when i want u to make me happy:) run lee sheegay dagaal maya Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N.O.R.F Posted November 4, 2003 ^^^^^lol lol@bush lol@u make us head ache Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xafsa Posted November 4, 2003 Topic has been talked to death...there is no solution in this. Its true though..men are easily influenced...dhinacaad rabtid u jiido they aint all that smart. Remember the the old joke: Men are like tiles you lay 'em down right the first time you can walk all over them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted November 4, 2003 Originally posted by flying-still: Topic has been talked to death...there is no solution in this. Its true though..men are easily influenced...dhinacaad rabtid u jiido they aint all that smart. Remember the the old joke: Men are like tiles you lay 'em down right the first time you can walk all over them. lol. Well said dearest. As the the saying goes.. dushiisa laga arkaa, ushiisa lagu tumaa! If a lady lets her husband get away with it and lets be honest in most cases they do. Than she has no one else to blame but herself. Furthermore, there are women in Somalia (and other countries) that arn't put off by a married man - in fact from what I've been hearing - it is the women that pursue the men in Somalia. So we can't entirely complain about the insensitivity of the xaajis - after all if you were a 50 year old man and was approached by a beautiful 20 year old woman - the last thing on your mind would be that nagging duq in London :rolleyes: I'm not defending the men here, just looking at things from their perspective. I'd advice you sisters to make sure your man knows where you stand on the issue and should he stray - stick to your guns instead of putting up with it and complaining about it.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted November 4, 2003 as majo said if the lady treats her husband the right way he has no reason to leave. but if u bring western carbage ideas to him, ofcourse he would leave coz he believes that u wanna change his calture. no sister, if the husband wants to marry another wife, he doesn't have to ask his wife, that is what our religion telling us. coz think about it, all u girls here if u guys were the first wifes u will all say no to the 2nd wife. so why should man ask u guys, when he already knows your answer it will be NO. THAT IS WHY ISLAM SAYS IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ASK YOUR FIRST WIFE'S PERMISSION. p.s. sisters we all claim to be muslims. but true believers are those who believe the religion when it is against you. it is easy to believe when it is with u. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gediid Posted November 4, 2003 Originally posted by Ameenah: Furthermore, there are women in Somalia (and other countries) that arn't put off by a married man - in fact from what I've been hearing - it is the women that pursue the men in Somalia. So we can't entirely complain about the insensitivity of the xaajis - after all if you were a 50 year old man and was approached by a beautiful 20 year old woman - the last thing on your mind would be that nagging duq in London :rolleyes: I'm not defending the men here, just looking at things from their perspective. I'd advice you sisters to make sure your man knows where you stand on the issue and should he stray - stick to your guns instead of putting up with it and complaining about it.. Afkaaga Gediid lagu qabey Ameenah,for once we have someone who understands us men. Flying Why walk all over them when you can walk beside them hand in hand?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted November 4, 2003 ^^^loool waryaa. Get away from my af. Shaah bigey ah, oo macaan oo xawaashleh woukd do. QacQaac, Isn’t the 'Somali Women are Westernised' line is getting a bit old huuno? Most men that go to Somalia are old men who are married to very cultured old ladies. The only way they manage a second wife is because the government takes care of their wifes and children. So its very easy to get xabad yaroo indho xidhan in Burco. One must fulfil the rights of the first family before starting another. In all honesty, in most cases that doesn't happen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted November 4, 2003 there we go again! xalimos cutting farahs like piece of cake! ladies, if u r good, believe me no farah will leave u...but yall seem to forget lil farah and become western ideology consumers. buying this and that every weekened...gossiping at starbucks like u aint no responsibilities. so dont be surprise when farah makes a u-turn and gets the new spankying xalimo while u left holding the bag!! seen this so many time! and i go.....u know it was coming why all the drama now...! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted November 4, 2003 I reckon tweety said everything I was gonna. I think there's a very fitting Somali proverb, something like "lax walba meeshey jiifsato ayaa lagu qalaa" (can't remember the right wording) which applies very well here. Firstly, it is a widely known fact that male (and probably female) expatriates are highly in demand back home and are pursued with such determination and cold-blooded cunning that it would probably be against the laws of nature for them to return umarried or without second/third/fourth wives (sometimes with all three)! So, what is the poor wife back in the UK to do? Nothing much. By the time he comes back her choices are limited to either acceptance & continuity or rejection & divorce. Solution? For the love of God, DON'T ALLOW YOUR HUSBANDS TO GO BACK TO SOMALIA ALONE!! Either accompany him or accompany him. One more thing...what's the likelihood of marriage lasting forever nowadays? Northerner, LoL...just take it like a man mate. Rudy, I would think "gossiping at starbucks like u aint no responsibilities" applies more to men than women. Now if you said "gossiping at weddings every wkend like u aint no responsibilities", then it would be a different story. Originally posted by Ameenah: Isn’t the 'Somali Women are Westernised' line is getting a bit old huuno? Ameenah, Naah, for some it will never get old. How can it, when it is the apparent cause of every single social problem/issue within the community? I bet you if they could blame the current political mess in Somalia on "Westernised Somali women", they would in a heartbeat. :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites