Sugar Love Posted March 21, 2008 Hi everyone, I believe this my first post. Sorry in advance about the seriousness of my topic :confused: But here goes.. Ok im 25 years of age; a quarter of a century as they say but thats not the issue. Its just that our culture assumes girls my age should have been married years ago. I myself USED to be very stubborn towards settling down when I was younger however just like everyone else I believed there should be a deadline and that unfortunately was: at 25 years OLD! Now that i have reached this "landmark" I cannot think of a worse time to settle down. This is due to one reason and one reason ONLY: There is abosuletly no1 that takes my liking, Im very picky I just cannot settle for sorry to say this: below average looks/boring personality or a comibination of both. I tend to meet a combination of both lol. There were also more options and varities of guys back in the good ol' days bt now as the years seem to go on there are less and less guys who are available. This is mainly because they are taken or they are too young / old. It might seem like Im in a bit of a rut; however in my heart Im 100% content with myself and Im happy to be single; problem is everyone around me i.e family are not happy about this. Im under pressure to get married asap; as if it's that easy to find a life partner. There are already a bunch of old women talking about "why can't she find a man, she's so pretty". These ppl have no clue what love is probably and just chose to settle for the nearest geel jire in the 50's Anyways my question to all you intellegent, notable people is: Should I get serious about marriage and rush/ speed up the process because im 25 now? Or inshallah wait and see what the future holds (26 aint that bad as ppl give up bugging you to settle down since you failed to achieve it at 25) lol I mean if it was up to me (by that I mean no nagging somali old women/ neighbourhood talking/gossiping about "she might never get married") I would gladly get married at 27 inshallah and a baby by 29/30. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jacpher Posted March 21, 2008 Why are they rushing you? You're still young too settle for Geeljire. Give it another 25 years. By then, you'd be lucky to fill número cuatro. Tell them to shut up. It's your life not theirs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted March 21, 2008 Sugar Love. Even if you did meet someone now, you will never meet their deadline of marrying at 25. My advise is you are happy and comfortable with your age and the stage you are in life, don't pay anyone no mind, regardless of what they say. I firmly believe the reason people worry when their daughters do not marry early is because they believe they need to feel that their daughter is taken care or and settled. But you sound like you have your life going on for you, and there is nothing you currently do not have that a man can give you. P.s. IT is a myth that there are no nice/ good looking over 25 guys left who are unmarried. I see nice guys all the time. So don't pressure yourself into thinking you have to settle for less simple because you've reached a mythical deadline of 25. P.s.s. Finally it depends on how important marriage is to you, and how much you want it. Be honest with yourself. P.s.s.s. Live life for you and not for everyone else. If you get married for the wrong reason you will live to regret it. My 4cents Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sugar Love Posted March 22, 2008 Hi guys, thank you both for the advice especially Ibtisam. (I thought everyone would start saying 'you should have settled down by now') Anyways You are right, I'm at a stage in my life where I'm very happy, got a lot going for me and a man / husband would just be a plus or an addition to my life. In all honesty, I would not settle down tomorrow if the right guy came along. I believe relationships take time I would give it at least a year. plus I would not want to burden the poor guy with financial worries for a wedding. Marriage is the least of my worries. Meeting a guy who i want is priority; with the right qualities and most importantly there has to be an initial connection or spark between us. If not then there is nothing there. Sorry to say this Ibtisam but I do not see any 26/above yr old guys who I have an instant attraction towards, in fact I have only seen a handful of average over 25 guys - i do not know where you spotted them. hook a sista up lol jks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chubacka Posted March 22, 2008 Hello Sugar Love, hahahah i was happy to see something new in this section so i like you already! As for getting married at 25, it is some sort of land mark we all seem to have but in reality we find things aint so blooming black an white... so anyway, you shouldn't get hitched to shut ppl up they will talk regardless (and we are all guilty of talkin about ppl) jst be happy (it seems you are) and tell ppl, i will get hitched when i am damn ready! an if you meet a decent br give him a chance. no one ever ticks all their imaginary boxes when it comes to getting hitched. salaams dear. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted March 22, 2008 Sugar Love Lol@not wanting to burden him with worries for a wedding..Girl,where did you learn this from?? First let me take this moment to welcome you to SOL.. Hun.meeting a guy isnt that hard,there are decent men out there but what matters is why do you keep attracting the wrong kind of guys in the first place? You said, what is more important then the right qualities is the innitial connection[chemistry] if there isnt that then there is nothing...sis,dear one can have chemistry with any tom,dick and harry dont you know that? how is that to be more important then qualities that make him the right man for you..what if that spark dies after the first week of marriage,what then? Hun,again before you go seeking these men,do a soul searching exercise.. Cut yourself some slack will ya,and dont be too concerned about what a bunch of strangers would say or wont say.What is important is what you think of yourself...How do you view yourself? I hope I havent offended you in anyway or shape Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cara. Posted March 22, 2008 What kind of name is Sugar Love? Ma sonkortaad qariidaa? Welcome to SOL Consider this your first tangential attack. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pujah Posted March 22, 2008 Sugar gal, Did someone forgot to give you the new memo? The new age to get hitched by is 30 love. go on and relax now you've got 5 more years. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baluug Posted March 22, 2008 Originally posted by Sugar Love: Should I get married Yes, you should. To me. I'll PM you my contact info. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted March 22, 2008 If you get married at other peoples say so, would you have your children at their say so as well? Or have the wedding they tell you to have or run your house, life and career and treat your husband the way they think you should? Our people have something to say about everything so you might want to start thinking about perfecting the art of 'haa iyo walle'. Basically, islaamaha ka neefi; indulge them and make them think that you're actually listening but don't commit yourself to their advice. I feel that they have a psychological need to dictate to you or show you the way of the world.. You strike me as a smart girl who knows what she wants and where she’s heading. May Allah bless the path for you. All the best. p.s Getting married is part intention but mostly qadr. It's already decreed so don't stress over it too much. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Som@li Posted March 22, 2008 what abt if you marry Farah younger than you? Anyway, good luck. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chubacka Posted March 22, 2008 Originally posted by Cadaan: quote:Originally posted by Sugar Love: Should I get married Yes, you should. To me. I'll PM you my contact info. hahahhaah. problem solved! (apparently) ps, he is coming to lnd soon Sugar, i say u take it from there! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Geel_jire Posted March 22, 2008 Originally posted by Sugar Love: These ppl have no clue what love is probably and just chose to settle for the nearest geel jire in the 50's Originally posted by Jimcaale: Why are they rushing you? You're still young too settle for Geeljire. Give it another 25 years. By then, you'd be lucky to fill número cuatro. Tell them to shut up. It's your life not theirs. :confused: what is wrong with us ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms DD Posted March 22, 2008 What is the rush Suga? Until you spot few cirro (grey hairs) on your head, i woulndt worry about marriage just yet. First Shaqshaq the playa and the pricks from the pretty and the precious. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faarax-Brawn Posted March 22, 2008 It might seem like Im in a bit of a rut; That is an understatement!, You are obviously in a canal Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
