SISTERS ADVICE NEEDED

[Nas]

Asalaamu Calaykuum My beloved sisters of Women's room. I've been married for like 1year now. And its been hard with my wife even though we both got married at young age 21. It seems like we being getting into alot of arguments of meaningless things i guess that comes with the territory of egoism. She tends to start the problems,i don't know whats the cause of this, she always asks me my where i been alot of questionaires she is very inquisitive. I don't know probably she don't trust me. Oh well I would love to hear you suggestions whether you're experienced in marriage or inexperienced it doesn't matter. Thanks Salaamu Calaykum

[makalajabti]

Salaam Nas

 

You both should do everything to save your marriage since marriage is all about sacrifice and reaching a compromise, Start by listing everything that brings problems in your couple and together find a solution. Come up with rules and "don'ts" so that you both say what's not right in each other's behaviour.

It's like a business deal, it involves negotiations and good communication skills so that everyone is happy after the deal. STick to the rules afterwards.

[Jafarel.]

Sxb, firstly congratulations on your marriage. ( + a yr late).

 

Secondly, the lady above said it all. Try and make your marriage work. 21 is mature enough for marriage and no excuse.

 

I'm no marriage counsellor ( cant even find myself a wife), so I guess I'm the least qualified to advise you. Good luck with your marriage sxb and may Allah make it a lasting one that withstands all kinds of trials.

 

Upon you be peace.

[Jafarel.]

It said 'SISTERS'...

 

Jumped into the wrong river....

[Katrina]

^Thats alright, when did men ever follow directions? :cool:

[Zafir]

^^Ha ha very funny.

 

 

Back to topic:

 

Dude, Have you considered telling her where your going when you leave home? :confused: Have her buy you a cellphone maybe, so she can annoy the tom outtaf you.

 

Seriuos note: we really don't have to know about your business bro, be a man and stop giving your woman problems.

[-Lily-]

Only you can help yourself, eliminate the causes of arguments by laying down common ground. It's only arguments, sort it out.

[double decker]

Originally posted by Zafir:

[QB] ^^Ha ha very funny.

 

Seriuos note: we really don't have to know about your business bro, be a man and stop giving your woman problems.

 

the man asked you to give him an advice and if you dont want know his business, you dont have to say anything.

 

anyways bro just try to make your wife happy and try to follow what the first sis said. i mean she said it all.i hope it works out for you guys.

[STOIC]

I am not a sister but my gut tells me I can add some advice here. Think for a moment about your life son. Do you see a pattern or behavioral routine that causes problems in your relationship? Can you identify a repetitive cycle in your relationship? Both of you people need to maintain your repetitive cycles that cause this emotional fragile state in your relationship. You need to consult your family members since they are to which each of us is exposed-they are truly embedded in our truth-before we get to the outside world. Among the multitude of causes you name, we can only get the cursory of the roots of the problem. May be your wife is struggling to take charge of you and of the relationship into a marriage that she yearns for. You may be also viewing her as someone who wants to control your personal autonomy. If you guys will not understand each other, together you will all loose what each of you entered the relationship for in the first time. I am not saying that two of you guys will always be the two who always unlocked the puzzle, there will always be at times when you will feel like you are in claustrophobic relationship, that is the time you need to get back your senses and compromise. It involves in plain words, seeing her “craziness†and “ inadequacy†as aspects of strengthening your relationship. Good Luck Bro…

[Sharmarkee]

Salaam

 

Am not a sister too,as Good Stoic said, But to add a bit is my motive, Be understandable, show her you care, be commited and most importantly try to kill the extra time to do extra work to finance a good standard of living, lastly don't play a Macho here the household consist only you and She!, and let her make all the important decisions in your life!(that will give her a great confidence in you)

and watch out your friends - may be your old freinds when you were a young bachlor,and hellraiser is driving her crazy, if they still come around, tell them Am a Married Man ... so imagine her fears and find solution!! show her you love her and GOOD LUCK Bro May Allah Bless you all.

[sheherazade]

Notify her of every fart and dump that u make and take. Inform her of the coordinates of your every location, better still get her a global positioning gadget and tag yourself.

 

She'll eventually get bored with it and beg you to shut up. And you, sonny, might jsut learn how to communicate better with the practice.

 

If it's worth it, it's going to take work to make it work.

[Sugar Love]

Hi Nas,

 

Im new here.. but nevertheless I'll give the best advice around (no offense peepz lol).

 

Anywho.. You said your wife asks you alot of

 

questions about your whereabouts which in turn leads 2 arguments right?

 

Its so simple.. next time she does just tell her

 

exactly where you've been or better yet ring her

 

and tell here 'babe, Im @ so n so's house' etc

 

etc. pLEASE DO THAT OUT OF THE BLUE .. I promise

 

she'd be so surprised and taken back that she'd

 

get happy on the inside cuz she knows you're

 

thinking of her even when you're out with your

 

friends.

 

However i think the ROOT of the arguments is not

 

because she really wants to know ur whereabouts,

 

I think most of your arguments are because she's

 

irritated and annoyed by you because there aint

 

as much ROMANCE as she was hoping for.

 

If you guys were married for only 1 year.. then u

 

guys should be in honeymoon years.. the first 5

 

or 8 yrs are da best they say..

 

 

She might be feeling neglected, so she will pick

 

on silly lil minor things as a result of that.

 

she needs to know you still love and need her in

 

your life.

 

Organise romantic nights in or out..go all da

 

way.. trust me do that once a week or 2 weeks and

 

you will see your relationship reach sky-high.

 

Above all.. keep your communication open.. and be

 

positive whenever u speak to her..remember you'r

 

in da honeymoon period.. so make the most of it.

[Nas]

Thanks i appreciate everybody's suggestions my peoples

[Xalimopatra]

Nas belated Mabruk Masha'Allah to you and your wife.

 

Secondly just be honest and look out for her feelings.You have a life working or whatever,ok lakiin a call to let her know where you are or just to check on her to see how her day is going is necessary.Just remember she only worries because she CARES!

[Foxy]

Nas

Member: 2117 posted 13-02-2006 19:35

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Asalaamu Calaykuum My beloved sisters of Women's room. I've been married for like 1year now. And its been hard with my wife even though we both got married at young age 21. It seems like we being getting into alot of arguments of meaningless things i guess that comes with the territory of egoism. She tends to start the problems,i don't know whats the cause of this, she always asks me my where i been alot of questionaires she is very inquisitive. I don't know probably she don't trust me. Oh well I would love to hear you suggestions whether you're experienced in marriage or inexperienced it doesn't matter. Thanks Salaamu Calaykum

 

TRY Real life Couples councelling....May be they could give advice thats helpful

 

cheers