Women? ...OG_MOTI yes indeed!

[Caveman]

This is continuation of “Woman†article, didn’t want to prolong that topic so I have instead created a response as a separate. Since my article itself is long. Plz bare with me .J

 

 

OG_MOTI Brother simply stated few findings by an international organization, which was a broad research for all humans. Say, you gota majority of Somali wedding these days the first thing you noticed is the how deep we went into western believes and value’s, and we have only been on western soil fewer then 2 decades. If u hear two individual that u personally know are getting married in this month chances are there is two other individuals that u also know that are divorcing.

 

If you want a built a great tree at your back yard, you don’t take a seed and just plant right at your back yard hoping it will grow to a tree that lasts life time. For that tree to thrive in your back yard, you have to make sure the ground is fertile to that particular tree. So, imagine this is just planting a great tree that lasts a life time, but think of planting marriage which in Islam is 50% of our faith. When you gota today’s Somali wedding, we don’t witness any thing even resembles building of 50% of Islam.

 

For same reason overwhelming Somali ladies demand and get this type of wedding, you know white gown for the bride and black suite for the farah. Since we only seen western societies get married in these symbols “white gown & black suit. Brother & sisters please know this is not even from western culture. There is different between culture and religion. Jeans, trousers, shirts dresses,etc are all from western culture and are not symbols of their faith but “white gown & black suit†at your wedding are strictly from pre-middle age Christian believe. How it pretty long history and u can research your own but, the first lady who ever wore the white gown was Anne of Brittany's at her wedding to Louis XII, in 1499 at Nantes, in what is today know as France. Before her Romans used to get married garments they called “Sunday’s bestâ€. Which was basically wearing any thing they looked good at Sundays church.

 

Anne of Brittany's was a church lady and a deeply religious, Anne of Brittany's came to England since UK’s Kingdom was gaining influence in the world and encouraged Queen Victoria's wedding to Henry V to wear the “white gown & black suitâ€, and Queen Victoria started the trend that many women follow today.

Where did Anne of Brittany's got the idea of “white gown & black suitâ€, since she lived in the middle ages of the Romans. Romans at the time believed different gods for different occasions like the Hindus do today. Christianity wasn’t a Monotheistic religion at that time as it is today, they there was God of rain, God of light, God purity, God of fertility and so on.

So Anne of Brittany as a church lady wanted her wedding to resemble as a church-lady and Gods she believed in. So lets see how these symbols of today weddings are deeply rooted into the Christian traditions and Roman mythical believes.

 

 

White gown.

God of Fertility was most pleased with the white garments and it’s a tradition symbolized by this God in fidelity and eternal love. Later it was added that White colour was associated with the Virgin Mary and thus symbolic of the bride's purity.

 

 

The Tiara Headpiece (Or Tajj)

This is piece of cloth that rubs around brides heads same have veil instead. Same are long as 2 feet, the Romans believed God of Fertility had angels around him wearing piece of white cloth on their heads for purity and to make the bride to appear as angel.

 

Black suit (groom)

Since Romans where mystical believers and it was at the end of dark ages the colour black was believed to have powers of evil protections. And since the bride wore all white dress and Tiara to resample an Angel, Anne of Brittany insisted her husband (king Louis XII) wore black to protect her from evil eyes.

 

THE BEST MAN

It is the best man's duty to protect the groom from bad luck. He must ensure that once the groom has began his journey to the church he does not return for any reason. His whole Job was to make sure the groom gets to church and doesn’t change his mind.

 

THE HONEYMOON

The term "honeymoon" is though to originate from the times when a Roman man captured his bride. The couple would hide from the bride's parents before marrying. The couple would remain in hiding for a further cycle of the moon after the wedding. During this period they drank honey wine.

 

BOUQUET

After the reception the bride throws her bouquet back over her shoulder where the unmarried female guest group together. Roman Tradition holds that the one who catches the bouquet will be the next one of those present to marry.

 

THE WEDDING CAKE

Cutting the wedding cake is now part of the ritual celebrations at the reception. The couple make the first cut together to symbolize their shared future. Cakes have been associated with weddings throughout history. The Romans shared a cake during the wedding ceremony itself. This was not the rich fruitcake we enjoy today.

 

Now, back to our wedding these days, if you gota any Somali wedding this weekend. The Majority of them are done exactly as would Anne of Brittany would have envisioned in the name of “ilbaxnimo†we took her ideas and added few and subtracted few things.

Just before start of the big party, the DJ hands the Mic over to the Sheik, “hadana ku soo dhawaada ayaayado quran ah iyo duco†Subxana’ laah. The guy does the honour thing and hands over the mic to the DJ. Well we all know the rest don’t we, the singer does his thing every one gets involve and its all now grooving and partying from here on out. The groom & bride do their part and shake their “Tushiesâ€. Oh and at the very end. We added sort of desert called “Niiko†where all the see-through dirac girls practically get down & dirty and same guys join them. Its off that all famous song now “aamiin aamiin Allahayoow†to send them off to their ever happy marriage life, Oops or is’t every happy my friends very few Somali weddings that start this way even get pass the 2 year mark.

 

Does these weddings even seem they are about to spearhead “the†biggest life change in their life or does it even occurred to us that, there could be grave consequence in starting like the “kaafirâ€. Are we mocking Allah and his religion? We bring same guy to recite few “ducaâ€, and then party like kaafirs,. Or we have become hypocrites. Technically there isn’t any difference DJ at the club handing the mic to same one to recite Quran and duca then every one at the dance floor. This is what the Quran said about those types of people.

 

“The hypocrites, men and women, (have an understanding) with each other: They enjoin evil, and forbid what is just, and are close with their hands. They have forgotten Allah. so He hath forgotten them. Verily the hypocrites are rebellious and perverseâ€. (Chapter #9, Verse #67).

And here is a verse on going against the all mighty allah(sw).

 

“This because they contended against allah and His Messenger. If any contend against allah and His Messenger, Allah is strict in punishmentâ€. (Chapter #8, Verse #13)

 

Punishment for us is divorce and family destruction, guys make your testing ground for her and her family, trust me if the lady says to you brother I don’t want any “kaafir†type wedding, then ask what her family wants if they conquer with her, sxb you got good woman and good in-laws, ee yay kaa fakanin taas. To the contrary if she wants Anne of Brittany type wedding sxb run for your life, I know most guys who do it mainly to get it over it and get that marriage life but trust me. Its your life too sxb and u gona regret not too distance future and all the expenses you went through.

 

So, please this is not my part to bash Somali ladies but it’s a fact that every living Somali knows these days, that Somali ladies are the main reason our wedding has became “kaafir†type, and they are in my judgement responsible of the out come. And guess what ladies party at wedding is allowed, like the one our parent did back home its no wonder divorce wasn’t prevalent in their times. What is allowed is this…

 

FIRST: On the authority of Ar-Rubai' bint Mu'awwadh, who said: "The Prophet (sas) entered my house after my wedding night, and sat on my mat as close as you are now sitting to me (the address here is to the one who narrated the hadith from her). Then, some servant girls of ours began beating on the duff and singing about our ancestors who were killed at the battle of Badr. Then one of them said: "And among us is a prophet who knows what tomorrow will bring." The Prophet (sas) said to her: "Leave this and go back to what you were saying before it."

 

SECOND: On the authority of Aisha, that she took a woman to her husband, a man among the Ansaar. The Prophet (sas) said to her: "O Aisha did you not have any singing (lit: frivolity) with your procession? Verily the Ansaar love such things." In another version of this hadith, the Prophet (sas) is reported to have said: "Did you send a servant girl along with her to beat the duff and sing?" ...

 

What we gain from these hadiths and other’s like them is that having fun is OKAY at the wedding, take musical instrument dance ladies and sing, but do it separately so “shaydaan†wouldn’t get involve like the “Kaafir†type weddings.

 

As Value system

For the guys can you imagine after you threw that “kaafir†wedding Jam she wanted to make your lady “happyâ€, and you know the reason these girls want is that cassette tape. Say Allah (sw) blesses you with a daughter, and she reaches the age of 5 or 6 and your marriage lasts that long. We know how smart little girls at that age are, say you pop that wedding tape on your DVD player for her to watch her parents wedding night. Little girl goes Ooh “aabo†you and “hooyo†look so cute dancing ….and you tell her yea “aabo†see at the end that girl shaking her thing at the “niiko†contest is “habaryar batuuloâ€. And little girl goes “aabo cute waayeâ€, and all this education for your little girl, as smart as she is she ask the big Question. Aaabo…why “adi iyo hooyo dhar kaan u qabtaan?†, maxaa hooyo madaxa u saran? Dharkaadu maxay u madow yihiin? Hooyo kuweeduna u cad yihiin?. Ooops is’t sad your own daughter questioning your value and believes. Then you might answer honestly and tell her its strictly from christain believe or you might be act as vague and say “aabo arooskastaa laga xirtaa dharkaan†in any case you forever ingrained her wedding night.

 

Sorry, my article had to be as long but OG_MOTI said few facts from UNDP report, but items of our community yes ladies are the majority who demand this type of “Kaafir†wedding and they must except the fruits of their seeds.

Oh since I am a new member, no “Caytan†please constructive criticisms is welcome.

[OG Moti]

Brother! Thank you for being truth seeker, and for adding yet another prove for my findings in the famous research of UNDP, which I repeatedly showed our SOL members but many choose to deny even when the truth has come and faced them, but as usual some of our people seem to choose denial rather than admitting the problem and trying to find solutions,

 

I really wish more of our people would think like you and analyze the problem, admit the mistakes and seek solutions as collective society instead of individualism and straight denial without any facts to support their claims and denial... Allah will bless you inshaAllah for bringing the sad truth and for trying to seek solution for our injured society...

 

Many will attack you, many will disagree with you and many may even call you names, but since you know the truth don't give up on them, they will eventually understand inshaAllah

 

Allah kariim

Peace

[- Femme -]

Oh since I am a new member, no “Caytan†please constructive criticisms is welcome.

Fine. Ill save it for when you become a NOMAD.

 

29 more posts

 

Serioulsy I love my Faraxs. I love them almost as much as I love chocolate.

[nuune]

^^^^ thank u, we love u 2, u r chocolate as well, u r cadburry plus yoghurt and we are m&m plus mango

[- Femme -]

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW BIG GROUP HUG

[Pacifist]

SALAAM CAVEMAN WELCOME MY BROTHER TO FAMILY OF SOL...

 

JAZAKALAH FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL ARTICLE I LOVED IT VERY MUCH...YOUR MESSAGE WAS VERY HUMBLE AND SINCERE....THUS HERE COMES THE BASHING....HA HA HA JUST KIDDING

 

IN EVERY SENSE OF THE ARTICLE WALAHI IT IS VERY TRUE AND YOU MADE A VERY GOOD POINT.

THANKS FOR THE HISTORY OF THE BLACK AND WHITE WEDDING ATIRE. I LEARNED SOMETHING NEW. THANKS

 

SOL FAMILY THIS BROTHERS SHOWED US THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL PLEASE LISTEN TO HIS MESSAGE

 

HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR STAY CAVEMAN

[OG Moti]

Hasna I thank you on behalf of the brother, for admitting the mistakes our sisters fall into no days, but I also wonder why couldnt you acknowledge the true and well conduct research by international body that I posted to help the sisters overcome the problems they have created through time and influenced by the western wrong values? anyway thanx for admitting and thanx for helping our society to change to what it was..

 

Allah kariim

Peace

[Section6er]

:rolleyes: puuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhlease!!!!!!!!!

Did you actualy go and do research on wedding celebrations and divorce rates to come to that conclusion? Did you go back and research on wedding attire before we came to this country? I am pretty sure I have watched so many weddings of my parents generation rocking the Black and White attire, so dont throw in half azz slogans on how long we been living in the western world. Please show and proof statements will be needed before I can belive this garbage being said on this board.

Divorce in any culture is higher nowadays than they were on our parents generation. It has many reason and what kind of wedding celebration you had on your wedding day is not among the lists of divorce creations. I have my own theories is and its just a theory I must make this clear. Is that people are being forced into marraige like the way they used to do it back in the days and the reason this kinds of marraige lasted is because of pressure from everybody kept people stuck together. And the biggest fear was embarrasing the FAMILY and thus couple stayed together. But the embarrasment factor in our culture is no longer standing so people do not see why they should keep hurting themselves to save the family. Also people being forced to get into marraiges because of unplanned pregnacy. Which leads to divorce beacuse the two couples were not in love or have thoughts of spending the rest of their lives together thus no chemistry to last the marraige.

 

More to come if more garbage is displayed on this forum. PEACE

[OG Moti]

^^^ please check UNDP research about "why deveroce is increasing in somali societies in the west" and almost a zero devorce case in Somalia and Somalis who live in middle east or Africa or even Asia.. it is well done research and I hope it will give you a clear idea of the actual reasons of the divorce problems we are facing.. Sister do not be blind, read it carefully and i hope you will join us to find solutions " Dhaqan celis" was suggested by one of the SOL most involving in community services brothers... think about it...

 

Allah kariim

Peace

[Blessed]

So, please this is not my part to bash Somali ladies but it’s a fact that every living Somali knows these days, that Somali ladies are the main reason our wedding has became “kaafir†type, and they are in my judgement responsible of the out come. And guess what ladies party at wedding is allowed, like the one our parent did back home its no wonder divorce wasn’t prevalent in their times. What is allowed is this…

And I suppose the SOMALI Man is kicking and screaming throughout this ordeal? :rolleyes:

 

 

There is also another biased note in your artice; Somalis women arn't the only ones taken in by the Western concept of weddings. You'll find the same trend amongst African, Asian and Middle Eastern Cultures.

[Caveman]

Femme_Fatale

Lolz..fine deal…

 

Hafsa

I really appreciate ur thoughtfulness

My Allah(sw) reward you!…

 

OG_MOTI

One again thnx sxb,,,,

 

Section6er

You said

“Did you actually go and do research on wedding celebrations and divorce rates to come to that conclusion?â€

 

I stated 2 verses from the Quran and 2 hadiths on going against Allah(sw) and Prophet (sw). and if same one says I am true believing Muslim and getting married like a “kaafir†you don’t consider that a hypocrisy. If you need more prove then that,…you right I can’t.

 

and you also said

 

“my parents generation rocking the Black and White attireâ€

Your parents actually married on this way?….my parents and the overwhelming Somali parents getting white gown and black suite was alien idea.

[Qac Qaac]

I agree with u, this taash white stuff that women wear, and men wearing toxedo, is not our thing.. we gotta be original ppl, atleast come up with ur thing, if u r not religous atleast wear your hido iyo dhaqan.. and don't exchange rings after the wedding that's not our thing too..

[dawoco]

Caveman that was intresting, if somewhat long, article to read. You made many valid points but u seem to be putting the blame on the women more than the men.

Not all women want a wedding like that and not all men are dragged to a tuxedo shop, so brother don't paint every female with the same brush, it reduces your articles valid points.

 

Sectioner, i can see your point, my mother told me that weddings were celebrated by the whole neighbourhood until morning light back in the day, but i think the bride and groom wore the hido iyo dhaqan attire or an arabic style dress for the bride, not what we see today in these countries.

 

One thing i disagree with you on is that arranged marriages are no longer done in our culture, not in the way u mentioned. When it is done it usually consists of one party asking the parents to intervere and the other party agreeing to the mariage without consequences.

Usually it is men in europe who ask their mother to bring them a bride from home, usually a cousin, and the woman in question agrees because of the ciscumstances or because of a deep relationship that excisted before the man went away.

 

I heard this story about a mariage in america where the bride demanded $4000 when during the nikaax the shiiq asked what her request was. The man agreed but the woman insisted he had to pay her right then because she was going to build her mother a house (oh bless her )

 

When the man said he didn't have it and that he would get it for her, she said "credit card oo qabaa ee ha iisoo bixiyo or the wedding is off"

 

The man had an uncle there who went up to the girl to make sure she wasn't going to change her mind about when the money was going to be paid. When she refused, he stepped outside to where the bridesmaids and other females were gathered and said "yaa aroos u diyaar ah oo igaarkena rabo?" and one of the female said yes and was immidiately married to the guy. The celebrations took place just as planned, except for the bride swap

[Gediid]

^^^^^^And I have actually seen in America a girl who wanted a lavish wedding in a 5 star hotel and the guy told her to take the money and send it to her mum in Somalia instead.The guy stood his ground and the two broke up...She's still single and he's now engaged to a girl in the UAE.

[dawoco]

^^^Hooyo probably already had a house It is the man's fault that the wedding didn't happen who is he to dictate that the woman's mother gets another house, gumeeysi badanaa ma hitler baa wax u galeen

 

I am wondering whether caveman is related to moti. Why is he acting like moti's pr? I smell something cooking and it aint maraq bilaash.