Dear Muslim Husbands

[Baashi]

CM, thanx for the article. It is a good read.

 

Have you cleaned the house?

 

Is dinner ready?

 

Have you fed the kids?

 

Did you wash my clothes?

The house is to be cleaned, dinner made, and surely kids are to be fed. If you can't afford a maid to do these chores for you who else is supposed to perform them chores?

 

Can u imagine the maid who is doing these chores for other people all the while she refuses to be the house wife for her own kids and her husband who can provide all she needs and more...imagine that. What you make of it?

 

Do we understand what motherhood is all about? Mothers do clean, cook, and feed kids! same with the fathers but not as much as the mothers. Is swapping roles necessary if the husband makes enough?

 

career vs. motherhood? u don't have to choose between them if u marry right yet at the end of the day I don't think, with good conscience, u would wanna leave ur kids with a maid...it just doesn't feel right especially when it is not necessary to do so.

[Qac Qaac]

Why do we always argue about this?

 

Viking u r right, u to baashi.

 

but the sisters, hey u don't wanna cook, clean, and do any of the house work. just don't do it simple as that. but don't prove ur lusts from the islamic text ok.

 

we believer are believers because we like islam both times when it is with us, and when it says somethig that is against us. say the trueht even if it against u.

 

p.s. i wonder, why we didn't have these kind of arguments in our back homes?.. oh i got it. we had no rights there. so we got in these countries, and will advantage of it.

 

p.p.s. i personally think, a woman in these countries don't need men at all, u could do what he does and more.. so why stand and wait for ur husband, u have education, career, u work. earn money just like him, and still provide for ur kids, i think women need no men. maybe just to produce kids that's. all power to the women. u the woman don't let him drag u.

[Blessed]

Salaams, that was a very nice article CM. Jizaak Allah.

 

I don't understand why certain brothers are on the defense here, the article wasn't promoting "role swapping". That happens to be a topic in its own right. If were are perfectly honest, there is no wrong / right way of sharing responsibilities. We all know, the assurance of a family survival is dependent on two factors; some1 has to bring in the money and the the other needs to take care of the household chores. This can be shared if the couple so wish. Or they can choose to half it in the traditional way. Different folks, diffrent strokes people.

 

If you can't stand the idea of a working wife, there are many Muslim men who can. But most importantly, Allah has made it xalaal for a woman to work, who are you to make it xaraam? Why create drama where there isn’t a need for it.

 

Coming back to the topic at hand... This article, was advising Muslim men to uphold the prophetic tradition of helping ones wife (this is based in scenario where the wive opts to saty at home).

 

You either take it or you don’t.. and live with the consequences of your actions. Simple as!

 

 

Sisters, whilst it’s true that under Islamic law most of us don’t have to do any housework (unless you’re a Maliki), it’s a choice many women including our mothers made out of love and care for their families.

 

I don't know about yous lot, but I’m grateful for what my mother has given me. And In Sha Allah, I’d like to provide that same loving, caring environment (not to mention the beautiful food) for my kids.. Again no need to create drama out of nothing.

 

However, I will make noise about this…. Who the hell said that fathers don’t have to take care of their children? That is really pathetic! If a guy can’t be bothered with diapers, feeding kids and playing, teaching and educating them, he needn’t bother having them. This has nothing to do with gender politics. As a community we really need to improve the relatioship between fathers and their children. Research shows that it has a detrimental effects on their development..man, just look at our boys :mad: :rolleyes: .

 

Read the views of other Muslims

[Rahima]

Right on Ameenah, well said sister.

[Baashi]

Ameenah,

No one is getting on the defensive here and I don’t see any drama being created in the thread. All I see is discussion on the subject in hand being weighed in from different perspectives. True the article was not promoting “role swapping” and no one said it did. No one is against the idea of a working wife and no one is making unlawful what Allah permitted Macaatha-Allah! Easy there sis! it is just different view from men’s perspective. Yes, fathers/husbands have to take care for their children and yes they should share the responsibilities with their wives. That much is agreed.

[Blessed]

Yes, fathers/husbands have to take care for their children and yes they should share the responsibilities with their wives. That much is agreed.

 

Well ameen to that! Now that wasn't difficult was it. Agreeing with out digressing from the topic and creating scenarios and siuations that weren't even addressed by the article. As we do in every thread that deals with this issue. It's a good thing you got here fisrt Baashe Or we'd have some cassualties.

 

 

As for the defensive part, I was thinking about the sarcastic remarks made by QacQaac in which he apparently assumes that Somali women (in the west) are competing with the brothers. We are not. So, chill!

 

 

Ameenah, done!

[Baashi]

Perhaps u didn't saw me nodding head in agreement while I was reading the topic I swear I did!

 

Real life scenarios and situations that relate to the article are good for the discussion. Why would you wanna limit what we can discuss under this thread? Btw, these r posts on the screen and nomads don’t mind reading different views.

 

U need some Shaah 2day...get 2 of them it is a treat and it is on me .

[Viking]

OG,

MashaAllah! It's admirable to see a sister study Islamic Law, I wish you all the best. The absurd thing here is, you don't acknowledge that man and woman have set roles and responsibilities in the family. Islamic families have a patriachial setting. That doesn't mean that the man overruns the wife with his decisions but he is the 'leader' of the household.

 

The rules for responsibilities are not rigid and as I said earlier; They can share the responsibilities though; they can both work (earning money) and do the chores together.

 

But the money the woman earns is HERS. She can decide whether to contribute to the family budget or not. Now, I can provide you with countless hadiths, links and list of book to support my stand, what do you have to prove your stand? Do you have any daliil that says that...

 

Woman's respobsibilities are same as men's responsibilities

Our Noble Prophet (PBUH) said; Paradise is under the feet of your mothers.

 

Would he have said this if indeed the mother and father had the same role?

[OG_Girl]

But the money the woman earns is HERS. She can decide whether to contribute to the family budget or not. Now,

.

 

Thank You,finally you admit what some were denying for women.

 

I can provide you with countless hadiths, links and list of book to support my stand, what do you have to prove your stand?

.

 

What is your stand?

 

 

Do you have any daliil that says that...

 

Woman's respobsibilities are same as men's responsibilities

.

 

Is quick think ..this cames to my mind " kolkom ra3en wa kolokom mas'ool 3an ra3etateh"

 

Means men have respensibilty about kids and wife same as women... so we are deffer? what we were arguing here?

 

If you talking about cooking and cleaning, as Ameenah already said " seems u did not read for her" is " out of love , care, respect" in other word out of " rahmah and mawadah" NOT women's duty to fill your grown up "A$$" tummy.

 

some of us do it some don't.

 

PS: about your daliils in books I just want to say :

 

In identifying what is "Islamic" it is necessary to make a distinction between the primary sources of Islam (the Qur'an and the Sunnah) and legal opinions of scholars on specific issues, which may vary and be influenced by their times, circumstances, and cultures. Such opinions and verdicts do not enjoy the infallibility accorded to the primary and revelatory sources.

 

So don't come to me what you kind of Scholer says .

[Khayr]

Originally posted by OG_Girl:

quote: But the money the woman earns is HERS. She can decide whether to contribute to the family budget or not. Now,

.

 

Thank You,finally you admit what some were denying for women.

 

I can provide you with countless hadiths, links and list of book to support my stand, what do you have to prove your stand?

.

 

What is your stand?

 

 

Do you have any daliil that says that...

 

Woman's respobsibilities are same as men's responsibilities

.

 

Is quick think ..this cames to my mind " kolkom ra3en wa kolokom mas'ool 3an ra3etateh"

 

Means men have respensibilty about kids and wife same as women... so we are deffer? what we were arguing here?

 

If you talking about cooking and cleaning, as Ameenah already said " seems u did not read for her" is " out of love , care, respect" in other word out of " rahmah and mawadah" NOT women's duty to fill your grown up "A$$" tummy.

 

some of us do it some don't.

 

PS: about your daliils in books I just want to say :

 

In identifying what is "Islamic" it is necessary to make a distinction between the primary sources of Islam (the Qur'an and the Sunnah)

and legal opinions of scholars on specific issues, which may vary and be influenced by their times, circumstances, and cultures. Such opinions and verdicts do not enjoy the infallibility accorded to the primary and revelatory sources.

 

So don't come to me what you kind of Scholer says .

I DON'T THINK THAT THE 'OLD OG GIRL' COULD WRITE LIKE THIS B/C HER ENGLISH IS NOT AS STRONG AS HER ARABIC AND HER MANNERISM WAS MUCH BETTER. NOT AS ARROGANT. SHARIAH GIRL, WHO IS YOUR GHOSTWRITER??????

 

I think that this TOPIC has been REPLAYED over and over and over and over and over and over and over again like a BROKEN RECORD, always on the same 'CHORUS LINE'.

[OG_Girl]

So Mr Kair topic is about OG_Girl as usually?

 

Subhana-Allah, if you looking kind of "Na3am" person..is NOT OG_Girl.

 

By the way thanks for telling my Arabic is much stronger because I learned Islam from original sources NOT from translates to English. I am proud and thankful to Allah my mother tangue is Quraan and sunnah's language.

 

Salam

[Reality Check]

I am such a heretic, I know, but it must be said.

 

 

Where does it say its haraam to role swap?

 

 

The woman goes out to work and the man stays home?

 

or Both go out to work and they get a nanny to do the housework?

 

Or both take turns doing the housework?

 

I didn't know that Islam strictly ordered the woment to take care of everything in the household.

 

 

Although this article was meant for us to benefit from, I think it is still reinforcing some old sexist views!

 

 

Sorry, I stand firm in my beliefs.

[raula]

Orig. posted by Khayr I DON'T THINK THAT THE 'OLD OG GIRL' COULD WRITE LIKE THIS B/C HER ENGLISH IS NOT AS STRONG AS HER ARABIC AND HER MANNERISM WAS MUCH BETTER. NOT AS ARROGANT. SHARIAH GIRL, WHO IS YOUR GHOSTWRITER??????) woooooooow :eek: what a shocker! :confused: :confused: (if OG_gal is viewed like this..what about moi :eek: subxanallah!)

[Baashi]

I’m bored and since there is little else to do I might as well get my hammer out and drive this nail through DA’s head . Here it comes...starting the first two questions.

 

From my understanding and may Allah forgive me if I am wrong Islam regards women’s role in society as a mother and a wife as her most sacred and essential one. From this it follows that women’s financial security must be assured. That is why they are entitled to receive marital gifts and to keep their income/property for their own security. The responsibility to provide is on the shoulders of the husbands/fathers not on wives/mothers. What is the reason behind having healthy man stay home, attend house chores, and have instead the wife go out to earn income for the family. Or you just want to deviate from the Divine directives.

 

The point that both can go out and have nanny do the mother’s role is okay I guess as long as the need is there. Maids and nannies can be employed out of necessity but no one and I repeat no can take the mother’s place “as the educator of an upright, complex-free, and carefully reared child”. I just don’t see why one would want to go out and work for somebody else if there is no pressing financial necessity - for instance if the husband has the financial means to cover all the basis.

 

As the idea of taking turns doing the housework...I guess that’s not a big deal the loved ones can work that out.

[Reality Check]

Originally posted by Baashi:

 

From this it follows that women’s financial security must be assured. That is why they are entitled to receive marital gifts and to keep their income/property for their own security. The responsibility to provide is on the shoulders of the husbands/fathers not on wives/mothers. What is the reason behind having healthy man stay home, attend house chores, and have instead the wife go out to earn income for the family. Or you just want to deviate from the Divine directives.

A. While it does state that a woman's money is hers, it does not state where and how she can receive it. In the present times, its usually through work and not from inherentance and such. Yes taking care of the children is a must, for both parents , except for the child-rearing where breast-feeding and such is involved, there is no reason the father, who took part in the making of this child, should not have part of those responsibilies. Therefore, it is essential for the man as well. You state there is no reason that a healthy male should stay at home, what makes you think there is a reason that a healthy female can! Find me a directive (Koran being the primary source) that says explicitly that women stay in the house.

 

 

 

The point that both can go out and have nanny do the mother’s role is okay I guess as long as the need is there. Maids and nannies can be employed out of necessity but no one and I repeat no can take the mother’s place “as the educator of an upright, complex-free, and carefully reared child”. I just don’t see why one would want to go out and work for somebody else if there is no pressing financial necessity - for instance if the husband has the financial means to cover all the basis.

Actually, the woman is not the only educator in the house. Why we solely have that burden, only God knows, but again, if you can find that directive that explicitly says that that is our sole purpose as a wife in a marriage, gladly correct me.

 

 

Hon, I don't like foreign objects driven into my head, thank you