The role of dads and the unsung heroes of today..

[QUANTUM LEAP]

Having read the negative manner in which Dads are portrayed amongst our Somali community, I came across this episode in some forum and I thought to myself hmmmmmm the somali dad isnt the only victim but looks like others are suffering too.....

 

 

The Role of Dad

 

In this day and age, men of all stripes should feel good about themselves. We are told that dads are contributing members to their family and society, but the culture today makes "Dad" look like a helpless boob who is unable to care for himself and others.

 

Look at today's television commercials:

 

Why is it that moms are the "choosy" ones in the family who are qualified to buy peanut butter? Is Dad not savvy enough to purchase something as simple as a jar of peanut butter?

 

Then there are the ads for frozen dinners where Dad is pretending to whip up a gourmet feast for the family, but we find out that he is really nuking the meal in the microwave and even then, he is "just getting by".

 

Apparently, it would seem to a cough syrup maker that "Dumb-Downed Dad" is not smart enough to administer the medication to his sick child, so it is "Dr. Mom" to the rescue. I suppose the makers of the medicine feel that "Dr. Dad" is too much of an elusive title for good ole Dumb-Downed Dad, who is only the master of the television remote and the grill. It seems that in these times, Dad is not really an expert in anything. Sure, the home improvement ads show might show Dad actually building a deck, but most of the time, it is an expert who is finishing the job that Dad could not handle on his own.

 

After years of so-called liberation, we are still treated to litany of television promotions of mom cooking, cleaning, clipping coupons, commenting on diapers and making all of the important decisions while Dad revels in affectionately being the household buffoon.

 

If a visitor from another planet came here to watch our television ads, they would assume that the father's role in the house is to sit on the family room recliner indulging in potato chips while watching football on his big screen television, while Mom is running around the kitchen multi-tasking--another character trait that so-called experts say that men do not possess.

 

It is also the self-elected societal "liberators" of the '60s and '70s who are to blame for these negative "Dad stereotypes". In the '60s and '60s, bored, tired housewives came out of the kitchen and demanded equality. That was a great thing, but something funny happened on the way to women's empowerment. Phil Donahue, Gloria Steinem, Alan Alda, Betty Friedan and others made dads look like belching ****** who mistreated women for centuries. That tradition carried on well into the '80s and '90s as "Oprah", "Jerry Springer" and "Montel" carried the torch. While their intentions were noble, it did not make a dad's job any easier.

 

But all of those who brought on the awareness of women's rights are not telling the story of the good dads out there. There are scores of proactive dads who are attentive to their spouses; feed and diaper their newborns; get involved in the local PTA; take the kids out to the movies and the park; cook and clean and so much more.

 

Yes, I think products can be "Kids Tested, Dad Approved". Why not? We haven't even given the stay-at-home dads and single dads who are earning their stripes as good dads each day. Give Dad some credit. He's not a buffoon. Give him the feeling of competence

[Nephissa]

Portrayed? Those men earned all the negative criticism, and deserved it.

 

Dads and Heroes were the men of early 19th century, like our granpas and dads.

 

Sorry to inform you there are none today.

[QUANTUM LEAP]

Sorry Bisharo ....I forgot to post the article I wanted to be discussed.....just edited it...

[Bess.]

oh plz.....let it go...u can't erase all the decades of irresponsibility and incompetence that has brought this about....instead of going on about it find constructive ways to earn ur honor back.....

peace

[QUANTUM LEAP]

Bisharo would you count yourself as a future insignificant then? Cause I don’t see myself as one of the stats amongst the losers you talking about.

 

By the way Besbesso how about you being a little more constructive yourself and debate the issues rather than go for the jugular instead...

[Bess.]

was i too harsh.....4 ur delicate sensibilities.... :rolleyes:

[Alle-ubaahne]

Besbaaso,

 

you sound one of those girls who are tired of these boys in the next door. And yet you expecting them to earn your hard-to-earn honor! ehehehehe, Look abaayo, you better visit back home and pick one of the remaining and rare men of old-version qualities. That is where the best is at, ok.

 

and yes, quantun leap is right, you also need to refurbish your good qualities and work on your talents to gain the best around you.

 

Just offering my fullproof suggestins to you......... forgive and forget if I offended you, ok.

[Bess.]

alle-ubaahne...bro...thanks....im not tired of the boys next door....i luve my somali brothers and expect so much of them ...i don't believe i need to go back home to find one.....i think there are plenty good ones here....

[Alle-ubaahne]

Plenty of good ones here!!!!!!!

 

then you are bound not to complain about them.

 

Mine is not anywhere around here, she must be somewhere in rural Somalia. and I am going to get her soon after I fully relocate my entire capital to Somalia, Allah willing.

[Bess.]

i never complained.... :rolleyes: ...gets ur facts straight....i asked them to stop whinning...and take action...

[Alle-ubaahne]

besbaaso,

 

What action??

 

Do I know that action?

[Bess.]

lol @ Alle-ubaahne ....if u don't know....who am i to say......think about it...am sure u'll come up with something...

[QUANTUM LEAP]

was i too harsh.....4 ur delicate sensibilities....

Do I look like Iam the topic of discusion! :rolleyes: Common now be sensible and try to tackle the topic instead...or else I maybe forced to sit you down and explain it to you word by word....

[Kruella]

The "loser dead beat dad" portrayal of fathers isn't exclusive to the somali community. They're also rampant in Western societies. With our community it mainly started after the war and mothers became wards of the welfare state in the diaspora. Most dads, if present at all, were wearing 3 piece suits and debating about politics with a stale 4-hours-old cup of tea in the local coffee shop. I know that not all of them are like that. Some spend countless hours in factories and back breaking work to provide for their families. Having said that, I hope we realize that by demeaning our men/dads/father figures we're also humiliating ourselves (vice versa). It's bound to be a vicious circle of disrespect if your children grow up with that kind of mentality.

As for Western societies, the rise of women in the workforce undermined the capabilities of men in the domestic front (he can't fend for himself) as well as the workplace (he can't be a multitasker like women are). I think it's mostly an overrated caricature of Men. But this shouldn't be our concern, because we first have to take care of our own homes before judging others.

Let's not be Jacks-of-all-trades and master of none. Let's master in upholding respect for each other.

 

Salamz

[QUANTUM LEAP]

I hope we realize that by demeaning our men/dads/father figures we're also humiliating ourselves (vice versa).

Kruella sis you are nowhere near kruell and certainly very smart to have that point of view. Our men and women folk have to be respected regardless and every community throught out the world has the bad, good and ugly but they dont advertise their laundry and negativity like our community does. We tend to trample on our men and their negativity wont only reflect on them but to the wider community we belong men women and kids....