Man Marries 58 Times in 50 Years.....

[Socod_badne]

Originally posted by sheherazade:

Has the world run out of women that u have to adolescence-snatch? Tell me, what's in it for him? Her? The parents? Society? These are not rhetorical questions, bro. Help me out here.

 

Now, biliis, when and how and for whom is it OK?

Stop asking questions. You wouldn't understand the replies you get anyway since you're a woman. When you grow to become a man it will all make sense to you.

 

We live in a merciless dog-eat-dog world with a touch of inequality. If you're a woman, life already suks for you. If YOU'RE A child you simply got no life.

[Valenteenah.]

Originally posted by Mr. Jibis:

PS Zephyrine, nice sarcastic remark.

Thank you. I try.

[Mr.Faarax]

We live in a merciless dog-eat-dog world

I see that you are shaped by this world

[sheherazade]

Cosy scenario you have there, using yourself as an example and a trusted best friend as son in law.

 

You gave an unexplained statement initially- that it's OK. It sounded lazy to me- lazy recommendations and opinions on serious matters lead to societies making lazy decisions on those very matters. I was interested in knowing how and why it'd be OK generally or specifically to you; either really, an insight of any kind.

 

You chose predictably your view point of the situation. I asked many questions from many angles- the daughter's, the parents', the older man's and society's. What you have shown us is the scenario through your eyes. It's a start. And a good start that after all it isn't as simple as you made it seem, u've put conditions on the scenario.

 

That you don't mention the daughter's wishes is very revealing and perhaps inevitable. As a 13 year old what exactly can you expect her to add or ask for? At that age children are often still under the parents complete control- their world collapses without them. To extract a yes from a child that age wouldn't be difficult.

 

Ultimately, there's no getting away from the fact that the marriage will go ahead as it's OK for you, the parent. And right there you have taken on a huge burden.

 

As for the best friend, no questions for him? What motivates him to take for a bed partner(no getting away from it) your little girl, the birth of which he congratulated you on just over a decade ago? Would your friendship survive it?

 

Finally, most interesting for me is the mention of dollars. How common is the inclusion of dollars as a prerequisite in the marrying off of a little girl? That, Jibis is a rhetorical question.

 

Thank you for your time.

 

Socod, aren't you a two-faced lil so-and-so. Apologetic PMs and a persistent public belligerence. Quite a speciman of a man.

[Khalaf]

Funny stuff man, I am glad u posted the source because it’s hard to believe. I mean in this society (US) by the age someone is 20, they been with many partners no big deal, to them that is. But we are talking about marriage, which is completely another level, and I think by reading this article this guy treats the institution of marriage like that of boy/girlfriend. But Allah knows best, we don’t know all the details.

 

Quote:

"The man shouldn't be proud of his many divorces however no one should call him a pedophile for using the marriage rules in which Allah the almighty has allowed him, making it halal."

 

 

With due respect sister ALexus., I strongly disagree. As said before Allah knows best, but reading the article this guy is antagonist to the rules of marriage in islam. I am not scholar, but in the article:

 

• “As soon as Al-Saieri gets the itch to marry again, he draws lots between the current four wives to choose which one will be divorcedâ€

 

• “I started my marriage campaign immediately after the second marriage,â€

 

• “I will stop when I reach wife number 60,†he concluded.â€

 

In what way is he using the rules of marriage in Islam Alexus? The Prophet (peace pbuh) said: "Among lawful things, divorce is most hated by Allah." (Reported by Abu Dawud). Marriage is huge commitment, there are many hurdles in Islam that are used as mechanisms to avoid divorce, thus there must be a strong reason to get a divorce in Islam, and I don’t think having an “itch†counts as one of them to separate from your wife and therefore breakup your families.

[Pi]

Originally posted by sheherazade:

 

Socod, aren't you a two-faced lil so-and-so.

Apologetic

PMs and a persistent public belligerence. Quite a speciman of a man.

SB, if that's true, you're a disgrace dude! Belligerence is good. But behind the curtain concessions is unmanly

[Mr.Faarax]

^^^kix kix kix...so that is how they do it.

 

SHOW TIME!

[Castro]

Sheh, excellent analysis and I'm afraid Mr. Jibis has no more ground to stand on. He should've known better to begin with.

 

As for SB, well, if what you say is true, then you are hereby charged with breach of trust. A grave offence indeed.

[Baluug]

LOL@Sheherazade.......I know no matter what I say to you, you won't agree with me, and that's fine. But what's the point in trying to paint me as a merciless father who doesn't give a sh*t about his daughter's wishes? Because I didn't mention my daughter in my previous post automatically means that she doesn't have a say? You got some prejudices, from the looks of it, you need to take care of before you take on a proper Islamic debate.

 

If I wasn't concerned with how my kid feels about marriage, then why not just let her get used and abused by the boys in her school, like so many girls that age go through in some desperate attempt to be noticed and accepted by friends and schoolmates? At least they're her age and it's "natural". But the reason for me to accept such a marriage is not just to satisfy the old fart's sexual desires(if he even has any at that age). It's for the sake of Allah SWT, and to provide guidance for her that I cannot give her, after she leaves the house and makes her own life. Yes, a younger man can do that as well, but if it's a man that I have known and trusted for many years, and she accepts(yes, her opinion does matter), then I don't have a problem with it.

[sheherazade]

Castro, breach of eesh? The man(?) talks of a dog eat dog world. If he can give it, he can take it. He broke the rules first. Unsolicitied apologies and assurances that he'd leave me alone- I wasn't even bothered- followed by further public rubbish(this wasn't the first breach of his promise and I should be nice? Some people only get better when fed their own medicine.

 

Ah, Jibis, taking it all so personally, man. Look, my point is a 13 year old is at the mercy of her parents- whether that parent be you or me. If you decide to marry her off at an age where she's still not a full adult, u have to be willing to take full responsibility for your decision. U brought the money into it yourself(albeit with a nice smiley face). And a lot of heinous things are done in the name of 'it's OK', when there's so much more underneath.

 

I don't remember forcing you to answer my questions nor did I ask them to make u appear neglectful blah blah. That you happened to mention a common denominator in child marriages unfortunately worked against you. That's your ish, bro, deal with it.

 

What prejudices are you referring to? You know if u're new to Islam, falling into the bad habits of the rest of us is lazy mirroring. Say what you mean when you mean what you say. It's OK.

[Socod_badne]

Originally posted by sheherazade:

Socod, aren't you a two-faced lil so-and-so. Apologetic PMs and a persistent public belligerence. Quite a speciman of a man.

PMs? Don't flatter yourself darling. I swear to God I never sent you ANY PMs. I did send you a single PM, its content echoing what I've said to you and others in public. Namely, not to take some of my bizzare suggestions and behaviours to heart since mostly I'm playing around. You're chastising me for apologizing any misunderstandings :confused:

 

Now, I challenge you to produce the 'apologIES' and PMs I sent you. I dare you to produce a single PM containing anything I didn't say in the open. CAR!!!!

 

If you're trying to besmirch me, you're failing.

 

I won't leave you alone until you produce the alleged PMs and apologies or they don't exist 'cause you made them up.

[Janna]

Originally posted by Mr. Jibis:

quote:Originally posted by ALexus.:

Why is everyone kicking a big fuss when those women are obviously not. Are you those women? No. Why saw concern?

You got a point, there.......

[Janna]

Sad to report many members are forming opinions similar to a Kafir.

 

Going back to page 3

Originally posted by Johnny

And yes Castro is right, this issue needs to be adressed fairly, a line has to be drawn between what is morally/religiously acceptable and what is pure disadvantage to the children .

Why should a line been drawn between what is accepted morally and religious when Islam allows it?

 

Some claim a 13 year old cannot make a good wife? Why? Just because they couldn't? Who knows this 13 year old could do, if not more, then a 25 year old. For example, take a good look at the 13 year olds in Somalia before the war, drought, etc.

 

Why is it okay when a 13 year old is sexually active but when she gets married its a form of abuse?

[Cara.]

For example, take a good look at the 13 year olds in Somalia before the war, drought, etc.

A 13 year old in Somalia is physically less mature than her counterpart in the West. Many girls reach menarche at 12 here, but I know many girls in Somalia do not until they are well into their teens, probably due to malnutrition.

 

My aunt was given in marriage to her second cousin when she was 15 and he was in his 40's. She ran away and wouldn't come home until my grandad promised she wouldn't have to go to her "husband". People weren't surprised or scandalized. This was in the 70's, ya know, well before the war. It is not in our culture to give our girls in marriage at such a young age. The closest Northerner could get to 13 was 16/17.

 

A 13 year old should be in school. No amount of maturity makes up for the sheer loss of opportunity from stopping her education at 8th grade so she can marry her grandfather's best friend, or anyone else for that matter.

[Baluug]

Originally posted by Callypso:

A 13 year old should be in school

. No amount of maturity makes up for the sheer loss of opportunity from stopping her education at 8th grade so she can marry her grandfather's best friend, or anyone else for that matter.

This is one of the notions people have about a marriage such as this......Why does everyone think she will automatically drop out of school? What's the reasoning behind that? Does every woman in the world forget about school if she gets married? Girls at that age are having full-blown relationships with other boys, do they both drop out because of that relationship?