Mowgli Posted February 22, 2004 Asalaam Alaikum Ok, the problem with the financial side of polygamous marriage has already been discussed by many sisters so I won't cover that again... Firstly I'd like to take the time to answer Shaqsii's questions.. Originally posted by Shaqsii: Ok before I start to comment on the issue of Polygamy, can some of you ladies answer the following questions. 1. Is Polygamy Islamically accepetable or not? If yes why are you ladies disputing it? Firstly, no one is "disputing" the legality of polygamoy in Islam aboowe, what is being protested about is the ABUSE of the that right. 2. Why do women agree to marrying a man who is already married to 1,2 or 3 wives if it dis-pleases them so much? Today, I can say I have seen the outcome of about 5 polygamous marriages, all close family...and I can honestly say, out of the 5 marriages, only 1 woman knew what she getting herself into, that her husband had already wives (in her case, two others). But the other 4, had absolutely no idea that their future spouses were already married! In these cases, the men had already wives, but did not tell the women about each other...in fact, the women in the marriages considered themselves to be just one...not two or three. In one of these cases, the second wife did not know she WAS a second wife until after 11 years of marriage, her husband was always away on business, but she thought nothing of it because every few months he would be back, or she would go to visit him wherever he was... In the most recent case, the brother let his family go along with the process of finding him a bride (when he already had one), it wasn't until he was married to the second that he told the family he was already married, and his wife that she was no longer the only one. In this case, it resulted in the sisters embarrassment, because at the age of 22, just after three months of marriage, she found herself to be divorced (so much for marrying for love huh?). 3. It takes two to tango and so how can the blame game be a mans fault only at all times when the ones who agree to the whole deal are the same women who complain after.[/ Honestly speaking, from the marriages I've seen, only a handful of the women knew what they were getting themselves into, the others were totally oblivious through no fault of their own...they only believed what their husband was telling them... I am not fully against the idea of polygamy, I find that it has its purposes, for example if my neighbours' husband died, and she had no means of support to take care of herself and her four kids...then I would consider agreeing if my husband were to suggest he married her to take care and ensure the safety/upbringing of the children. However, I cannot stand it when a guy results to polygamy because he simply can't keep his trousers on! I guess this teaches us to take everything anyone says to you with a pinch of salt...if a guy tells you the grass is green and the sky is blue...I say run quickly outside to double check yourself! :cool: Because all am hearing lately is "heblaayo's husband went away on business, now he is back with a wife and two kids!" Ma'Salaama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Curly Posted February 22, 2004 Idil, I couldn't have said it better myself...It's like there's a language barrier here! Underdog, walaal I don't think you've been paying attention to some of my posts. Even though I don't like polygamy I accept it because it has it's purposes, however when people misuse their god given rights, then of course people are going to raise an eyebrow or two. So I'm talking about the majority and the majority of Somali men in particular who misuse the Islamic Law for their own gains! This view is hardly 2-D, I admit I wasn’t impartial as I should have been but I didn’t hide or lie about anything in my statements. The facts are there and are as clear as day, whether you choose to believe them or not! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
