Should Girls Make The First Move??

[Amina daughter of Nikatau]

is it inappropriate for a girl to take the iniative in wanting to get to know a guy?i know of girls who believe that its desperate for us to make the first move and that we should sit back and wait for them to come to us------------i'm undecided on the matter -------------------

 

so girls have u ever taken it upon yourself to set the wheels in motion or are you the type to hold your tongue?

 

and guys do u like it when a girl takes the lead or do u consider that untasteful maybe even offensive to the male ego?

[Malika]

We live in a different world my dear,to the days when xaji Cumars son came with elders to ask for the hand in marriage of binti Axmed's.

 

Saying that,it all depends on ones views on this matter and themselves. Would a man think your cheap and desperate if you approach him ,then perhaps you got it wrong in your choice of the kind of man that would suit you.I believe if one has confidence in themselves,know what they want and go for it,then there is no desperation in it at all!

 

I don't see a problem if a woman approaches a man she likes,there is no shame in that in my books.Its taking initiative,control of situation one wants to change.

 

Apparently am told men,do not like to be the prey. In other words for them to chase,hunt is all part of fun in seeking a life partner..Go figure!

[Ibtisam]

What do you mean approach?? Do you mean like what guys do; I can imagine; you find a farah sitting at a bus stop, on a on busy train or on his way home from the masjiid or just walking along the street.

 

[Xalimo] Salam Wr Wb

[farah] W salam

[X] Haye, do you live here

[F] Looking slightly uncomfortable; erm yes, ..no I'm just trying to get home.

[X] I'll walk with you, I saw you from across the road, and I though that brother is so fine mashallah I have to say hello. Are you single walalo? [not waiting for a responses] Why don't you give me your number and we'll get to know each other.

[F] :eek: In his head, What The... just happened?

 

[nuune]

This sheeko happened awhile ago:

 

In the middle of nowhere, this took place:

 

Canab: Walaal waan ku salaamey

Guuleed: waan kaa qaadey walaal, miyaad i taqaanaa!!

Canab: hadaan ku barto ma danbi baa ku jira

Guuleed: maya walaal, barashadu waa wax bulshadu u baahantahay

Canab: bulshaduna dad bey u baahantahay in ay dhaliso

Guuleed: hadalka ii balbalaadhi

Canab: dadkii hore iyo duqooshinkiiba daadkii baa qaadey oo aakhiraa loo damaashaadey

Guuleed: Ilaahay ha u wada naxariisto

Canab: inagaa laga doonayaa dhalinyarada ah in aynu bulshadu dad ku soo kordhino

Guuleed: Ilaahay baa taas shaqa ku leh

Canab: inaguna sabab baan u nahay

Guuleed: walaal magacaa

Canab: Canab baa la i yiraahdaa, aynu wada xaroono oon bulsho dhisno maxaad ka qabtaa

Guuleed: hadaba aynu dhameesano

 

 

As you can see, it took long time for Guuleed to understand the clever approach presented by Canab, he even forgot to tell her his name in the conversation.

 

 

Waan ka baxey

[Malika]

Ibti,girl who hangs around bus stops?

 

Most women are more resourceful then men,you don't need such an approach but one creates situations when one can have access to the one , one has her eyes on. Be it you accidentally bump into him at the petrol station and need help with your tires[if your lucky he is actually good with cars,hadhii kale you have just put him in a situation which will undermine his 'manhood']..Lol

 

Lol@the random pick up.

[Ibtisam]

So much effort creating a accidentally meeting, which could back fire. Too much effort for a guy.

 

Nuune as I read that I though he was going to offer to take her to a sperm clinic, so she can do her part for the people without hijacking his life.

[Malika]

^Like everything else in life,if one wants to achieve and sustain a fulfilling life,they put much effort including seeking the MAN![i know that sound so alien to you,but one day Ibti,One day! you would tell me different, I hope]

[Faheema.]

lool@Ibti that is just brutal dee

 

How about this...

 

You're doing some food shopping in Tesco and you spot a mighty fine farax with a trolley in one of the isles, you carry on doing your shopping while making sure he's still in sight Finally he goes to the counter and voila there you are right behind him lol

 

and the convo starts with something like...

 

[X] Shopping for the family or are you going into a solitary harbination lol

[F] Laughs...No, I am shopping for the family.

[X] That's nice, [scans the shopping and notices frying pan] would never see my brother alone doing the shopping for his wife & kids

[F] ohh, no I am not married, shopping is for Hooyo, I ave come to visit and durba shopping bay iga gaadhsiisay.

[X] lol, hooyo's ey...So you don't live meelahan?

[F] Maya, I live in east london, but i am over at this end almost every week

[X] oohK, sorry, how rude of me... I am Ibtisam ( ) nice to meet you

[F] Likewise, I am Hassan.

 

...and it goes on

[Ibtisam]

^^LOOOL That is just rude! :eek: Lool. I don't like people talking to me if I don't know them.

 

Malika, I hope not, and if I do give me a good hiding

[Malika]

^No need for whooping you Ibti,even women of substance e.g Khadija [RA]took similar initiatives,landing herself one of the most important men ever. So dont,go thinking its not cool approaching a MAN[heh]

 

I dont mean random picking up men on the streets,you got to be more creative. One goes into a selective period,who is in town,what does so and so do,what kind of man so and so is and if they are appealing,you create a plan and prosecute it, which ever way it comes out,your a winner[i mean an active human being]..lol

[Abyan]

You hint that you are available, and if farax doesnt approach you,well, he's not into you..

[Ibtisam]

^^Come on sis, why do people always pick Khadija [RA] case or say the prophet did this, the truth is no man is worth or important enough in this day and age to do what Khadija did to land the treasure she did. There are no more prophets, nor I am anywhere near as good as Khadija, so I'd rather not be the dacawo that left its own foot prints, tii kaalin gaadi weyes.

[Saalixa]

I second Ibtisam

 

Ragga somaliyeed baryahan sidodi kale ayabaad uga amaan heli la'dahay Mise waa adigo afkaaga la doontay

 

Seriously...I would not find it safe and worth it at the beginning before you know anything about this man.

That is not a wise move at all! He can be a loser or criminal. why risk it

[Aaliyyah]

Most women are more resourceful then men,you don't need such an approach but one creates situations when one can have access to the one , one has her eyes on. Be it you accidentally bump into him at the petrol station and need help with your tires[if your lucky he is actually good with cars,hadhii kale you have just put him in a situation which will undermine his 'manhood']..Lol

looooooooooooooool malika you are awesome. I could learn few lessons from you. I'm hopeless at approaching guys...cant do it if my life depended on it.

 

salixa lol @ wa adoo afkaaga la doonta. You have a point there. But, usually guys who approach girls at the streets are usually street men(or at least thats my opinion) and that's what they do usually I imagine at least 99.9% of them. But, imagine you met someone respectful and you want to approach. I imagine in that case making the first move wouldnt hurt, you didn't have him to begin with what you got to lose....Nada

 

 

[X] Shopping for the family or are you going into a solitary harbination lol

[F] Laughs...No, I am shopping for the family.

[X] That's nice, [scans the shopping and notices frying pan] would never see my brother alone doing the shopping for his wife & kids

[F] ohh, no I am not married, shopping is for Hooyo, I ave come to visit and durba shopping bay iga gaadhsiisay.

[X] lol, hooyo's ey...So you don't live meelahan?

[F] Maya, I live in east london, but i am over at this end almost every week

[X] oohK, sorry, how rude of me... I am Ibtisam ( ) nice to meet you

[F] Likewise, I am Hassan.

loooooooooooooool faheema....ibti is smart ma isithdi..kulaheed i would never catch my brother shopping for his wife, is that an indirect way of saying are you taken

[SCORPION_SISTA]

Hmm this topic seems to come around every once in a while and we(women) mever reach consensus on it...Most of the guys I have befriended in the past I have always taken the first step, and couple of Solers can attest to it, but when it comes to romantic relationship it is different...There are situation when making the first move would backfire on you at a later time in the relationship, it's human nature, so one must prepare onself to that...I think women purusing the man is out of norm still enough that we don't react to it the same way as a man pursuing a woman...We feel the later is more natureal and woman doesn't holding against him for coming after her, actually she feels flattered...When it comes to situation where a woman is considering purusing a man, she has to really think about it...You have to know what's the cons and pros of your position and what are the possible outocomes and if you are okay with what you reach go for it and if not then step back and wait in the wings.

 

bee bye SS