Have we become hypocrits?

dawoco · September 4, 2003

Hi everyone,

I have seen many somalian parents making their children wear xijaab and go to saturday dugsii, and yet those same kids are encouraged to disregard our traditions. Some parents seem to take pride from the fact that their children don't speak our language.

Why do we blame the society we live in, when we have given our youngsters no alternative to the western "civilization"? I remember how it was back home. Every night, my father used to tell me stories, that doens't happen for many children. Their only companion is the t.v. and their parents are usually too involved with themselves to give the young ones the attention they need. Many children have no one to turn to for silly chit-chats, let alone their problems.

How can we easily turn our backs on what we are, when we can't be anything else?

And how can our offsprings relate to the religion, if they can't understand the concepts of our tradition?

We can't expect our children to be well behaved and good muslims if we aren't willing to work hard on it...

Thinkerman · September 4, 2003

Salam Calayakum Dawaco

I dont no that somali parents have become hypocritcs, thats perhaps too bold a statement for me to concour with , i certainly agree with you in that too many parents leave parenting of their children sometimes to the TV which isnt a desirable thing to do with the content that is now days on tv from even earlier than 9pm ((here in the uk))

I think with giving the children the islamic education ((which is a duty on every parent)) they should follow it up with generally more parenting and guidance @ home, and certainly less Tv.

Macalin · September 5, 2003

If you raise the kids in a islamic envinronment nothing will go wrong.

I have seen many good kids around the US and wallahi honestly some are fair enough for their age.

so bro its good to be critical but sometimes lets do give ourselves a lil pat on our backs and give credit where its due,shall we now. lets not be so hard on US.

macsalaama

inan yaban · September 5, 2003

dawaco, completely agree with you, some of our ppl thinks that all it takes to be a good parents is to make your child were a hijab without they even understand what this is about, we also see somali folks came from somalia yesterday, forcing them self to speak broken English with their kids, when they hardly can complete a sentence...please do me a good and keep you mother language at home.

We need to spend more time with our kids and talk to them about our great religion and culture, see mothers and fathers only shouting at their kids in early ages for non sense when them self don’t try to set a good example for the kids.

waa yaab :confused:

- diamond princess - · September 5, 2003

Yes, I have become a hypocrite and to be honest I can't help it. If there is some way of treating this illness let me know guys.

.:peace n luv:.

Juxa · September 5, 2003

dawaco,,,i do agree,,,,,,however the problem should not be entirely on the parents. some kids cirkaa laga soo riday, dhago adeeg, no matter how hard the parents try,,,,,,it is to no vail,,,nothing works,,,,belo ha qaadee

seriously,,,,,this is a problem with great concern, there is no magic remedy to it,,,,but lets try basic adjustments. my list includes:

- take time to be with the kids, hear them out, dont condemn or throw dacas at them,,,,just listen

- do your islamic duty,,,,allah will xisabtan with u,,,,it is your responsibility,,,,,parents are strong enough to send their kids to school for 5 days,,,,but not school for quraan. teach them,,,take them to learn the religion as often as u can,,,or do it at home.

- take the time to explain why your children have to do certain things,,,,many kids do not understand why they are different,,,,ie,,,why they got to wear xijab, or why the boys have to attend the mosque for friday prayals. EXPLAIN.

- make them feel special,,,,,we are different cause we are special,,,make them proud,,,,,,bring them up in such a way that they cherish the dhaqan and are proud of been muslim

to be cont.......

OG Moti · September 5, 2003

dawaco, completely agree with you, some of our ppl thinks that all it takes to be a good parents is to make your child were a hijab without they even understand what this is about, we also see somali folks came from somalia yesterday, forcing them self to speak broken English with their kids, when they hardly can complete a sentence...please do me a good and keep you mother language at home.

and

our great religion and culture,

amazingly he did not say dhaqan in somali, it is just so funny when he says dhaqan.....

Juxa

take the time to explain why your children have to do certain things,,,,many kids do not understand why they are different,,,,ie,,,why they got to wear xijab, or why the boys have to attend the mosque for friday prayals. EXPLAIN.

try to expalin that to Hip hop and MTv generation .. they will laugh at u, take example .. dawaco u wil tell her abaayo u are young and lots of men out there such as nasir jones, jamaal11 who will have no job but sit in the cafe and wait to talk to u.. and she will laugh out loud and say u are old fashion ...

but i agree with juxa .. if it does not work her steps then i got one idea..

take her to somalia make her marry ow osman and but make sure he is above 45 so that he can plant the dhaqan on her... the only option is that... or Pepsi generation will take u down with them... peace

Khayr · September 6, 2003

Salaamz,

Dawaco

And how can our offsprings relate to the religion, if they can't understand the concepts of our tradition?

I agree

Our culture compliments our deen and inshallah

the more you know your dhaqan, the more you can

appreciate certain things and how they relate to your deen.

A few yrs back, before I went off to school,

I wasn't so welcoming of the whole Somali Culture. Infact, it was embarrassing to me b/c all I have been seeing is a bunch of Losers all my life, who don't inspire to nothing more than

collecting welfare checks, driving cabs and

going to coffee shops.

But Alhamdulillah, the older that I got and coming here on SOL has been very helpful in this, I got a better appreciation for the somali culture

and inshallah a better appreciation of the deen.

I think that the role of the HUSBAND in the somali families in North America has changed greatly and this has to do largely with their inability to find decent paying jobs that compliment their educational backgrounds.

Its very discouraging to see your father who was

say a pharmicist or an MBA graduate, driving

a cab or working in an assembly line.

He can't make enought money to feed the family,

so guess what happens, WELFARE kicks in

and suddenly there is no real need for the HUSBAND.

In the somali culture, extended families where very important so is the concept of Qabil.

This was done (to my knowledge) to protect families from outside influences such as MODERNITY

and the capitalist life style.

When you have aunts and uncles and grandparents around a child, this helps to develop

a very well balanced sense of identity for the child.

Anyways,

We are an Immigrant community living in a lands