A7LA-SHU Posted September 1, 2003 it might be crazy to ask Qs like this when im somalian myself but hey it is kinda weird dealin with my ppl sometimes.. my q is in somali culture is it "must" to sit with the guest even if they are ur dad's age and male?? coz i have this problem with ppl tellin my dad "oh ur kids don't like their ppl" i mean i don't hate them.. but grew up with my mom's family where if a guy nocks the door u ask who they lookin for before u open the door, and after tellin u who they lookin for u get that person or say that person isn't home without seein ur face. and i have been like dat even since 9 yrs old.. so i can't just change like dat. and my dad thinks sometimes we are rude to his ppl lol. second q is. why do some somalians hate being called (uncle, aunt).. the answer i get is why u callin me uncle im not married to ur mother, or im not old call me brother? helloo first of all that person is about my dad's age second being called uncle is out of respect... i call (khala, or khalo) my mom's friends or any middle eastern, and they love it coz to them it shows respect... so it is a bad thing in somali culture? maybe i'll stop callin them dat. fill me in yo'll.. [ September 02, 2003, 01:29 AM: Message edited by: Admin ] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG Moti Posted September 1, 2003 khaala it is somali tradition, khaaala dont worry about it.. it is originated from old tradition but most people dont know what it ment then 1. sit with guess means .. people will see u and it was for marrage purposes.. for the guy the guests will say he is nice so they will give him their daughter, for the girl to sit with the guest .. the guest if he is uncle like u said will send his son next day to ask ur hands, that was the reason old days but now they dont know the real meaning behind it, they just do it.. i suggest u dont sit with guests they are not ur guest so why should bother... 2. Khaaalaa i would love u calling me uncle but since life is weird and u seem to be older than me .. then can i call u khalaaa, looool peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Curly Posted September 1, 2003 For the love of God! :rolleyes: I don't mind Somali people, after all I am one and I can't hate myself, can I? But that doesn't mean I have to like their sick and twisted culture! :mad: So Luv if I were you I wouldn't ask any questions, just go about you life, forget their silly babble! :rolleyes: Your’re talking about a culture, which discriminates against women, and condones ill and vicious acts and then hides behind religion as an excuse! :mad: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samafal Posted September 1, 2003 Magnoona sis... I understand where you coming from. what you got is a clash of cultures the middle eastern one which girls are required to be more conservative and dont talk to people outside their immediate family and the Somali culture which is more open and require children to be open to their relatives outside the house. For example when Somali man go to family visit is the children he has in mind. so if the children don't notice that and close their door and don't even say hi ''Adeero'' then that is when the person feels bad. second q is. why do some somalians hate being called (uncle, aunt).. the answer i get is why u callin me uncle im not married to ur mother, or im not old call me brother? This i think is the fact that altough he might be old as your father still down the lineage you are cousins and he wants you to know that and respect it..it is not something to do with age.. most of the somali oldies dont mind being called ''EEDO'' or ''ADEER'' as long as they do not believe that you are clsely related in which case they expect you to call them something else like Walaal. so my advice to you is when a relative comes over home greet them with open face and say '' see tahey'' hope that helps Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miriam1 Posted September 1, 2003 Yikes Magnoona i had the same problem as you, trying to figure out the rules of somali ettiquette. But i gave up a few months ago and decided not to care ^ as Sue already mentioned its not quite that important, just do whatever your sense of right and wrong deems correct. Oh and about the guest thing..actually in my household and in ever other i knew, girls never sat with the men in the living room...for me it went something like this..... 1.Father calls for shaah to be brought in. 2.My mom hands me the shaah and halwo, or to whatever sister is present..( it was never the maid I dont know why?) 3.I take the shaah+halwo in 4.Salam whoever is sitting there, get the usual compliments and leave.. But sit and listen into thier conversation..hasn't happened yet.I would think it to be uncomfortable if they were ur Father's age and male...rite? Anyway dont bother yourself...my adivce Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zakariye Posted September 1, 2003 s/alaykum I make sure to respond the entirety of this post in English, so sister Magnoon will follow my posting ,lol Here is my take on this, magnoona yes it is our culture to meet your exteneded families, those you haven't seen in your life time and when they come to your house as a quest, you must meet them and sit down with them inorder to get to know. mostly they come from out of town or they just come to visit once in life time, so yes , if you are a male you sit with the elder male and listen them, the stories they have to tell, and get to know them, and if you are a female perhaps you know this , you sit next to your mom, and listen the conversation , what is happening to them, how they cope life itself, so yes it is our tradition to show , that our quests are wlc to our homes. the second part , blv me when i was called uncle for the first time, i almost get heart attack, i was walking in the street and this young somali boy stopped me and asked, uncle can you tell me what time is it? i was like oh my god i am no longer a teenager i am Old man, so it is obvious to me now that ppl notice the change that happens to our body and caused to be called us Uncle when we get older for respect, and understandbly some ppl don't like to be reminded that they are getting Old, that is how i look into it, but to divert the attention of their age i think they said Don't call me Uncle i am not married to you Mom or i am not the brother of your father, but reality is they are getting old and ppl are noticing it. I hope Magnoon this time you understood all i said. LoL. c/salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Twisted-AYeeYo Posted September 1, 2003 Originally posted by Magnoona-girl: [QB second q is. why do some somalians hate being called (uncle, aunt).. the answer i get is why u callin me uncle im not married to ur mother, or im not old call me brother? helloo first of all that person is about my dad's age second being called uncle is out of respect... i call (khala, or khalo) my mom's friends or any middle eastern, and they love it coz to them it shows respect... so it is a bad thing in somali culture? maybe i'll stop callin them dat. fill me in yo'll.. [/QB] Macaanto if MOTI doesn't like to be called "ADEER" then it is clear the man lacks self confident but me i am only too proud to call myself Ayeeyo because i believe i am older than most of you except Nin-Yaaban and MOTI and they both lie about their ages wich is S.H.A.M.E! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG Moti Posted September 2, 2003 War ileen tanookale ayooyona yaaaaaaa igu diray, i kind have a feeling she is send by my friend Jamaal to twist my arms, and pull my legs, war ayeeyo idaa dee, waa kusidee, waxani dagaal kaweyn... war anagaa wax aragnay, sidani maba dhici karto, dumarkan waa leygu diray bal iisheega who is sending them to me to rock my boat...like the wise man bob marly said "no women no cry", only know i felt his words and only man i see the big picture clear enough.... for the Psycho one "Sue" twisted culture? did u really say that or i was reading fast and didnt notice ur words, war pyscho Somalis never miss treated women, somali men were and still suffering from the hands of somali women since they are bigger and more Muscled, so dont get influenced by the western lies, by the way most western men come to asia just for an asian female, cause they find out women in west are no longer women, they realized they did a big mistake when they let women take control of the situation, i actually talked to the men they all said man we dont feel we are with a women, they are no longer women or men, we dont know what they are, so dont let those unknown species to influence u and make u dis ur culture and ur good somali men... i bet nin yaaban will love this.. after it is his major in University, Bachelor degree in Dhaqan science anyway ayeeyo I love to be called "Adeer" i am already ABTI thanx to my sisters, so i have no problem with that, just dont call me Awoowe, or granpa in sue's words cause i will be lebeled with Eyeeyo and i dont want that :rolleyes: peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nephissa Posted September 2, 2003 In my view to sit with your parent's guest (Male or Female) is inappropriate. As an adult child the least you'r expected to do is to greet them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haaruun Posted September 2, 2003 Magnoona, there's Nothing wrong with having a little chit chat with ur pple..All your parents want is 4u to get to know ur close ones.....and our culture is not so complicated as you girls made it like. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nin-Yaaban Posted September 2, 2003 Zakariya has said everything i wanted to say. Please everyone, re read what Zak has wrote. He is truly talented person. Ayeeyo, walaal marka hore Salaan iga gudoon. Tan labaad, waan kugu raacsanahay DA'DA laqarsho in eey ceebtahay. Qofwalba waa in uu da'diisa PROUD ku yahay. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Changed Posted September 2, 2003 Originally posted by Jawahiir: 1.Father calls for shaah to be brought in. 2.My mom hands me the shaah and halwo, or to whatever sister is present..( it was never the maid I dont know why?) 3.I take the shaah+halwo in 4.Salam whoever is sitting there, get the usual compliments and leave.. But sit and listen into thier conversation..hasn't happened yet.I would think it to be uncomfortable if they were ur Father's age and male...rite? Anyway dont bother yourself...my adivce i never had to sit either but i had to take the shaax....the worse part was my dads freinds used to come over and i had to get them the shax and qaxwo and the doolshe and stuff ..it felt like forever cuz they would stare and i had to say adeer caano maku daraa...and i would have to listen till they make their minds up..sometimes dad used to keep me with him cuz i was the younges and he just loved my company...habro are okay with me..i basically know them so i just say eedo hoo and leave... about nimanka weyn not wanting to be called adeer i seen few who say aint ur mom husband :eek: :eek: or aint ya momies brother..and i seen some that say sweetie call me adeeer am older than u...now i like those that ask me to cal them adeer cuz adeer is respect..and honor..i dont know those who ran from it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Positive Posted September 2, 2003 Orginally posted by MG Is it "must" to sit with the guest even if they are ur dad's age and male?? coz i have this problem with ppl tellin my dad "oh ur kids don't like their ppl" i mean i don't hate them.. but grew up with my mom's family where if a guy nocks the door u ask who they lookin for before u open the door, and after tellin u who they lookin for u get that person or say that person isn't home without seein ur face. and i have been like dat even since 9 yrs old.. so i can't just change like dat. and my dad thinks sometimes we are rude to his ppl lol. This is a interesting question! Our culture defines what we are expected to do and the proper way we should react ----- in any given situation. In our traditional culture it is essential to be respectful to our parents- both parents. Similar respect is expected to be given grandparents and grand grandparent. Our uncles and aunts both real and extended, other relatives and any person who is older then us is entitled to be respected. Key words in our culture are: respect and a willingness to share resources with one nother! These are cardinal principles which guide our actions! These principles have to be shown in action though. How do you (now)evaluate you actions then according to these principles ? Should you sit with your guests who may come to visit your family ? It depends who they are and the nature of their visit. Let me remind you that we have one of the best cultures in the world. Of course it has out dated elements which we need to drop, for example tribalism ! Be willing to be nice to your relatives, specially when they knock your door , and when you are in doubt as to what you should do in a given situation just ask your parents. THAT IS MY ADVICE. why do some somalians hate being called (uncle, aunt). The person who negatively reacts to such benevolent words "must" be rude. Uncle/ aunt are nice words which are used to show respect to those who are older then us. Any man who is related to your father is "adeer" and those men who are related to your mother are "abti". Aunt has also a similar function. Continue to use "adeer/abti and eedo/habaryar, in their proper context. It is OK. The positive Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lefty Posted September 2, 2003 magnoona the difference lies between your two parents' different backgrounds. Next time, tell one of them to laylow while enjoying the other side. Plain & simple! Somalis never miss treated women, somali men were and still suffering from the hands of somali women since they are bigger and more Muscled, Adeer Moti ..LOL you reminded me one of my helpless neighbor dude. he married one of the heavyweight champions in Somali female history. His strong and violent wife used to smack his azz down everytime she just felt like it. I sometimes laugh at him while my other side is feeling sorry for him. By the way, I don't really mind to be called either Adeer or awoowe even if I'm older than you two years but I prefer girls to call me "SUGGA DADDY" and make sure not to mistaken "MY BABY'S DADDY" LOL. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Idi_Amiin Posted September 4, 2003 Magnoooona ... .Keefak habibtiii!!! been a while huh!!! ha u been ?? Daamn, u still have dem weird Questions of URS!! LOOL! .. J/K hunn... lemme c wut i can say bout ur issues!! 1st: To sit with ur family friends aint bad at all!... but it aint compulsary either... it's nice to go up and say salaams to all, chit chat a lil bit, and bounce off when u had enuff... aint no buddy gonna say "She's dis and dat" ... I understand where u comin from when u talkin bout how u were brought up (Arabic style!!).... daz da way most of us been brought up anyways.... but somali's r bit different in dat case.... rarely ppl even knock on doors... dey just zoom in as if dey live in da house... and by mixin up with somali's u get used to it... and i think YOUR WAY is much better tho hunn... Keep it dat way... DO wuteva pleases u walaalo... aint nobuddy forcin to do watchu don wanna do!!! 2nd: Lool@khala/khalo!! ... well if dey don like dat change and call dem Ammo/Amma!! ... may be dis sounds a bit better dan khalo/khala!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
