Social Debate: The Somali Single Mothers phenomenon

[raula]

definately experience might be useful if one has the mind and personality to go with it-i.e. she can differentiate the good from the bad, the dont-let-the-same mistake happen it again ...however, all that experience will flash down the drain if the individual cannot recapture just what caused the first divorce. Therefore, my point here is if one doesn't realize that next time maybe things should be done/handled differently or atleast a change of attitude if the cause was entirely yours, then that individual is not different that an ***** (forgive the language).

 

Personally, it dont matter if the person is married or not(has/has not have the experience) but the character, level of communication, sense of understanding and patience one implements in a relationship whether married or not. So, my brothers and sisters, plz, dont marry a single mother just coz she is 'experienced' than a regular single woman,but marry for the qualities she's got and the ones she brings out in you .

[wind talker]

The difference is simple:

 

I would take new clothes over used ones ANYDAY. No offense to the garoobs in the Forum!

[Macalin]

LOOL@windtalker!..heheh still laughing.

 

My beans and cusbo on this matter is quite simple. Any SSM woman can get any Non single moms that she so desires so long as she stays PUT.

I have seen many ssms who have hooked the best of the best and are unmatchable with the 'yaryariiska'..its all in the confidence of the femme!

 

Now me as lakkad,will i consider a ssm?..I dont know?,will i give her a chance? yes definetly!

 

The issue is darn getting out of control...someone save the ssm;s

[raula]

Now Lakkad..I wonder why you'll @least put it in consideration :confused: mmmhhh!..kiddin'but good lookin' out bro... but tell 'em man..it's not need for a contest here u feel me :cool:

[Faheema.]

Originally posted by wind talker:

The difference is simple:

 

I would take new clothes over used ones ANYDAY.

So, what you're actually saying is that Woman and clothes are comparable?

 

ala maxaa aduunka wax walba lagu arki :rolleyes:

[wind talker]

Shayma -

 

It's really not worthwhile to take things out of context. It was a simple analogy. If you don't like it, go play with you're teddy bear.

[rudy-Diiriye]

personally, i dated divorced women and i gave them them thumbs up! they do know how to treat they men! freshman xalimos r just too much headaches! man! when i date, i gotta a whole bottle of headache medicine!!! until u got over the hump! its a pain in the butt! they so scared for some reason!!!!!!!!!! :cool:

[Paragon]

"....i gotta a whole bottle of headache medicine!!! ..."

 

That bad miyaa!. ... are you still dating single-mums rudy? Any tips you would give to others who might 'just' erm....consider such adventures?

[Sensual_Healing]

Sallamz....

 

Oh! Peh'leez i think a women is better off being a single mother, rather married to a spoiled bra, a Mummies Boy! uuuf. talk about turn offS.

 

Seriously, put urself in that shoes,18,beautiful, educated almost lol.. and a single mother. what man wouldn't want her.

 

and as far as somali man arrogance goes... you know what theys ay (plenty fish in the sea) innit?

SinGle Mother Do'ya Thing as Long as you Fear Allah.. and insha'allah, Love someone Because of the will of ALLAH,,,,, if you do that you should be just fine ;)insha'allah

 

 

Allah Hafiz

[NGONGE]

What people say and what people do are two totally different things. A young man would talk about marrying a young, single, virgin girl. While a young girl would talk about marrying a young (ish), educated and responsible man. It does not always follow that either gets what they want. Young Somali men would not want to marry single mothers because they assume they would be cheated, they’ll be at a disadvantage with an experienced woman who is set on her ways. That does not mean some of them do not eventually marry single mothers. I suspect the main reason why single guys do not marry single mothers is to do with the circles both parties mingle in than any preconceived ideas or perceptions.

[Lady_Mystery]

I just like to point out few things, why are some of the brothers here running away from the initial question? Why is the answer being tied up to men marrying 4 wives?

 

Guys, Allah, permitted 4 wives when the man can look after and satisfy the needs of his current wife emotionally and financially! This very thing leads to family brake up and divorce in the Somali society.

 

The issue is why is it a problem to have a divorced sister as your first wife? Don’t run away from the question and say only if I could have 4 wives!!

 

I personally think that the divorced brothers should marry the divorced sisters. Come on sister you’ve already had your pick of the rear species of the eligible Somali men

[king_450]

lol, well what do you know now we are in a mood of talking about Single moms, well i personally never dated a single mom, because the word itself Mom scare the hell out of me, everytime i hear single mom, i do give respect,how on earth will you even consider going out a women who passed another gentlemen. So in a definition who is single mom when one get divorced once, or when one get diveorced second ,third, we kind lump sum all divorcee into one category, single mom. But to taste the water i am about to date thistime around single mom, that is single mom , and divorced once, but not twice.And then i can give my decent opinion.

[Faheema.]

Originally posted by

king_450:

 

I am about to date thistime around single mom, that is single mom , and divorced once, but not twice.And then i can give my decent opinion.

 

it's been just over 7 months... Haye, still have the same opinion or are you happily married to that sweet loving SSM ? you dated back then

[Sirrus]

Nifty,

 

There is another factor you did not take into account. A marriage is a social event and as such lends a degree of influence to family. If a brother decided to marry an SSM, will you think his family will be supportive in the matter. Specially if he is fresh of the rack.

 

Back home it was not out of the ordinary to marry a garoob, reason being, to marry numerous times was the somali solution to sex being permitted only in marriage. Many a young being would marry early just to have the right to sleep together, then notice the other requirement and be on their seperate way. A man or woman would marry many times before their 50 birthday. Now in the west we have a new phenomena, in which divorce rate out ranks marriage rate, people are sexually premiscious in immitation of their host culture. They no longer see marriage as a solution for sex nor for child rearing. So there you have it.

[Faheema.]

Originally posted by Conscious Manipulation:

asalaamu alaykum,

 

I say we store this thread and re-opened it in about 5yrs when Shaqsi, Jamal, Illmatic and Sujui have all met lovely SSMs who knocked them off their feet and are married to them

 

salaam

LoL, I wonder how many changed their tune since