On Friendships: Reflect!

[Sophist]

Salaams,

 

 

My dear fellow Sol chaps and chicks and those who roam between the two! Here is something that I was forced to reflect upon couple hours ago while

I was squashed between under perfumed men and over scented ladies in the Central Line --- for the benefit of none Londoners, this a one of the many under performing trains in London- what strange place to be enlightened.

 

 

On friends:- Only reflect how various are the feelings, how divided the opinions, even among your closest acquaintances, how even the same opinions are of quite different rank or intensity in the heads of you friends than they are in yours, how manifold are the occasions for misunderstanding, for hostility and rapture. After reflecting on all this you must tell yourself: how uncertain is the ground upon which all our alliances and friendships rest, how close at hand are icy downpours or stormy weather, how isolated humans are! When one realises this, and realises in addition that all opinions of one’s fellow men, of whatever kind they are and with whatever intensity they are held, are just as necessary and unaccountable as their actions; if one comes to understand this inner necessity of opinions originating in the inextricable interweaving character, occupation, talent, environment- one’s tribe- perhaps one will then get free of that bitterness of feeling with which the famous sage cried: ‘ Friends, there no friends!’ One will rather, avow to oneself: yes, there are friends, but it is error and deception regarding yourself that led them to you; and they must have learned how to keep silent in order to remain your friend; for such human relationships almost always depend upon the fact that two or three things are never said or even so much as touched upon; if these little boulders do start to roll, however, friendship follows after them and shatters. Are there not people who would be mortally wounded if they discovered what their dearest friends actually know about them? Through knowing ourselves, and regarding our own nature as a moving sphere of moods ( Moods::::::::most of our fellow chicks will be affected greatly by the natural ooze of this act) and opinions, and thus learning to despise ourself a little, we restore our proper equilibrium with others. It is true we have good reason to think little of our acquaintances, even the greatest of them; but equally good reason to direct this feeling back to ourself.-And so since we can endure ourself, let us also endure other people; and perhaps to each of us there will come the more joyful hour when we exclaim:

 

 

“Friends, there are no Friends! Thus said the dying sage,

“Foes, there are no foes!, says the living fool”.

 

Sophist

[Baashi]

On friends

There is no permanent friend, it has been said, nor there is permanent foe. This type of relationship, as many other relationships, has its ups and downs. And to maintain it, if one sees beneficial, one has to overlook trivial things, has to ignore the gossips, and in conflicts one has to give the benefit of the doubt to his friend. When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, true friends come the assistance of their comrades. We are relational creatures hence we need friends to socialize, to confide our secrets, to share our happy moments, to consult when we are hesitant, and to ease our pain when we are grieving. Our friends are the mirror image of ourselves hence they reflect our characters more than one way. We have a lot in common with them and we should reach deep down inside us if we can’t get along with them cuz one of us has changed. It might be you qof ka midebeynaya oo sida gabaldeyaha hadba doc u jeensanaya. Ee xaalkiisa lala wareerey. Unless u rule that out don’t blame ur dear friend. If that is the case swallow ur pride and go to ur friend, look in the eye and say “I’m really sorry I made mistake.” Can u do that? If u can u r a very humble fella…much respect to u. It is the ego that often gets the way. Beware arrogance and ego...

Halkaa ka sii wada.

[Coloow]

Sophist: A good topic for a change! To many of my somali brethen friends=acquitance.

 

Sac baa qoobka igu haayo hadda ee markale ayaan ku soo gudbinayaa rayogeeya.

[Miriam1]

What can i say about my good friends, i have just lately began to understand their importance in my life.They are those people that will be there for you when your family doesnt quite make it.In essence they are your chosen family.They are those people i can confinde in my secrets without worrying, the ones i can cry to without being ashamed, the ones that put a smile on my face when i am down, and simply understand all my silly moods!.

I love this topic...good one sophist, lol iam going to call my girl

[Ariadne]

Friendship is something thats built over a period of years and takes seconds to shatter. How true is this cliche....very hauntingly true.

 

In life we live as we are born... alone. Of course we like to think we aren't. We have our significant other, or families and our firends and multitudes of people we surrond ourselves with. However, For humans there is always an detachment from other people. Yes, you may love them, but you can't agree with them on everything and you can't agree with yourself on everything. Thus people may be close to you, but they are subconcsiously held at bay so you don't hurt them, drive them away, etc,. because of the prevailing fear in being alone ,living alone and dying alone....

 

We fear solitude... so we learn to endure others contrasting opinions (minimally or to a large extent) by keeping our mouths shut.

[Libaax-Sankataabte]

Salaam, Sophist and co.

 

Sophist, I do concur with your above sentiment on its mere dry form but let me take you out of your "sophist" eccentricity and ask you your thoughts on the adage that "friendship is evoked by a deep passion for own-self", meaning one's sole purpose of having one is of either surviving today or succeeding another day.

 

I am one of those who try to negate the above arguement and base the true essense of friendship on altruism and a sacrosanct love for another Being without any gratuity, but sometimes I find my thoughts to be riding on nothing but a quixotic premise.

 

sorry for hijacking the theme.

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Salaan...

 

Shakespearean gobbledygook and argot aside, what are you saying, chum? That we are no longer friends. Alas, poor Sophist, I knew you well! And I lost you well.

 

Waraa, lakiin maxaa sheegoysaa that saxiibtinimo majirto? See waaye nin yahoow. Haye, deentii aa igu lahayd ma ii dhaaftay hadii saxiibtinimo danbe jirin? I will sure love it!

 

And speaking of trains, if it wasn't Jubilee Line, London subway, err underground, trains suck. Yep, big time. Their shrieking and screeching intee laga soo maqlaa? And it is so cariiri, my God. British people gacanaa u taagay. THEY ALL WANT TO BE DIFFERENT!

________________

 

Macsalaama!!

[WILDCAT]

Don't knock London tubes, it's the only place where it's completely acceptable to plaster yourself against attractive strangers who don't bat an eye.

 

Try doing that anywhere else, you'd get a slap.

 

I sometimes get on for the pure fun of it.

[Sophist]

Salaams,

 

I have once again been misunderstood! On what road have I travelled without a dim of light here; and there I was hoping that it would be easy to decipher this! You can not imagine on what length I went to make it simply fathomable. But hey is stays to show that my thoughts are not trouble-free, if anything the message which I was trying to convey was not that friendship does not exist but rather that our-self image takes precedent in anything that comes after it. Further, the attractive picture we pain our-self is what brings those friendships to us, thus most of friendships are build upon smokescreen and façade- a true but a tragic thing. What is even worse is the fact that we (at least most of us; those who are lucky enough to break from human nature are excluded here) close friends to be merely inferior to us all (perhaps the fact that they have fallen for your deceit) but if we realise that the faults we see others are projected to us then that self importance most of us hold becomes mellow.

 

Consequently, friendships though they exist they are built upon shaky foundations. Besides, it is always safe to be solitary fellow for those we befriend are mere mortals and one day they shall leave you to yourself (or even worse you shall abandon them for the better world.)

 

Pyromaniac_Pixie,

 

Uuh, a refreshingly cynical;(There is a streak of concavity which borders misanthropism in you) I take a great relish to look forward your more of your pragmatic approach!. Welcome and enjoy your stay.

 

Libaxsanka tabte

 

Okay old chap, how have you been. Uum, dry, what a choice of word. Perhaps a moist would have been a better choice of word! Then again that would have given whole lot different meaning- that is if you get my drift!.

Saxiib, Sacrosanct love, you have a laugh mate! What is that! This phrase reminds me of a gaudy leaner in middle ages of Britain! What is that brother? Such a high sounding phrases can only be reserved for metaphysical experiences my dear fellow! Perhaps altruistic ideas are jolly well, but such things only exist in puritanical Salafi circles which I suspect neither of us move in!.

 

Miskiin Macruuf!

 

Duqa, Qamiir aa idhahdey waa kuu soo gadaa, laakiin xee malawax aa iga dherjisey, still you owe me great deal of Somali Shillings. And yes I do believe in friendship but hey sometimes our hyberdemitical experience makes us wonder! Perhaps I am mortally wounded by not only realising that we are mere mortals but internalising that bitter fact!- though I am consoled the immortality of the soul. Anyhow, how dare you speak about friendship for you have brushed me off completely mate! What happened to that business card I have given to you! It was not a mere performance but an source that would enable you to contact me! Bugger! Anyhow, I am sure you have tremendously enjoyed the company of many admirers who entertained you great deal while in London! No complaints there I sense!.

 

Thus Spake the old Nomad

[Libaax-Sankataabte]

Originally posted by Sophist:

Perhaps a moist would have been a better choice of word! Then again that would have given whole lot different meaning- that is if you get my drift

lol. Sophist waad iga qoslisay. moist? absolutely not a good choice.

 

Sophist, saxib, I thought the "Salafi Circles" focused on "true friendship" with God.

[Darwish]

Sophist (interesting choice of username)

I do concur with what you say brother. I think that we project certain picture of ourself in order for other to like us. Such is the fakeness that the most of friendships are built upon.

I enjoyed it, good piece. Keep them coming.

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Salaan...

 

Sophist, yeah, I still have that business card you provided me, but heey, wasn't it a something like Sophist, Sons and Associates card? Well, I was waiting when I am in a deep trouble against the law, readily to call you, my personal attorney. I never thought it was a personal or frienship calling number.

 

But, walaalkiis, seriously, as you know Denmark aa aaday, and when I got back, I hardly had a chance before I departed for Cardiff. And I came back upon at the time of my flight's schedule back to Toronto. Ee raali noqo, and anaa inta kasoo wacaayo--that is, when I am in trouble against the law.

________________

 

Macsalaama!!

[Positive]

Sophist,

 

There is one thing in this universe that we know for sure: CHANGE !

 

Everything is in perpetual change: day follows night, seasons give way to one another, Life forms change from cradle to death. Our state of: mental, emotional and physical being ness are fluid and subject to change. Even the atoms in our body, although we cannot register it, in a speed beyond our conception change their vibration by coming into a rest before they again come back into a state of vibration. Our heart bit, our act of breathing and even our awakening and sleeping states are governed by this LAW. Time is also the product of these mechanical changes of the things that occupy TIME/SPACE.

 

FRIENDSHIP IS ALSO GOVERNED BY THIS SAME LAW. Nothing in this universe, including our relationships with the others, is permanent. Not even friendship.

 

In the finite universe the law of ENTROPY takes its due course. According to this law nothing stays in its original state of energy but continuously releases/ receives energy. The releasing of energy though always takes precedence over the receiving and eventually the thing by not been able to recycle energy in proportional quantity decays and dies. Friendship also is doomed into this same fate because the status quo of friendship/foe cannot be maintained in ALL times.

 

Now the friendship factor is the preservative factor of our relationship with one another, while the enmity is the destructive factor. THE MORE YOU HAVE GOOD FRIENDS THE BETTER CHANCE YOU HAVE TO SURVIVE IN THIS UNIVERSE and vice-verse.

 

CONCLUSION

 

Foe and friendship exists together but are at the opposite sides of the same coin. The one cannot exist without the other. Foe like a winter is the destructive element of the two but like a spring it ALWAYS gives birth to friendship which is preservative. That means at a certain point when the climax of friendship is reached the downturn begins and the result becomes conflict and confrontation. That is natural. The result becomes eventual decay and dying which in turn, at certain point at this downturn, becomes prelude to a golden age of FRIENDSHIP.

 

That is what Life is all about: The movement of our Life through different but mostly apposing states of existence. In this OPPOSING states we learn to experience at first hand: WHAT IS GOOD and WHAT IS EVIl!The lessons we learn through this process makes it easy for us to make the RIGHT judgment- when we are confronted by certain action.

 

WE OUGHT TO TAKE CARE OF OUR GOOD FRIENDS- EVEN WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS IN ITS EBB

 

Positive.

[Sophist]

Libaax Sanka Taabte,

 

One the off-shoots of having good relationship with Allah are altriusm which have you reffered to it brother.

 

Sophist

[rudy-Diiriye]

friendship occurs for males and females differently. women friendship is really weird to say the least! for me i still communicate with friends from childhood and the new ones that came along in life upto now. male friendship tends to take along to develop but ones there, can last a longtime. women friendships tends to happen quickly and then disappears in shortly!

 

just my opinion!