Najmo Posted March 20, 2003 It comes, as something of a surprise to many Africans to discover that all Africans look the same to non-Africans... How do you tell a Nigerian from a Kenyan? And I am not talking about passports or clothing. The easiest way, of course, is the name, for example "Ogunkoye", "Ekwekwe" or "Babangida" can only be a Nigerian; a"Njoroge", "Otieno" or "Kilonzo" must be from Kenya. Where else would you bump into a name like "Promise", "Immaculate" or "Patience" other than in Zimbabwe? And where do the Dunns come from?They are surely from Liberia or Sierra Leone. Surely everybody knows that the loud, boisterous and cocky ones are the West Africans; the brooding and sly ones are the North and Southern Africans; the East Africans always say yes even when they disagree vehemently. No wonder there has been very few coups in this region. They have no guts to go against the stablishment. They are also the UN's first choice for Peace-Keeping duties worldwide. Forget about the Egyptians and Sudanese who change their continents based on which side the bread is buttered. When convenient, and the petro dollar is flowing, they masquarade as Arabs. When the World Bank is dishing out aid to the third world, they shuffle themselves, cup-in-hand, jostling for the paltry aid given to poor African countries. If you want to be more specific, the Cameronians will borrow money to buy champagne. They can even sell a hole in their pockets to ape the bourgeois. The Ghanaians think they invented politics. No Ghanaian worth his salt will conclude a conversation without mentioning the famous Kwame Nkrumah or quoting a phrase from one of his speeches. Even when bargaining at the Bazaar, a "Kwame" phrase has a magical effect. The problem is they think that this effect is world-wide!!! A dukawalla in Bombay was forgiven for thinking "Kwame" was a unit of currency in Africa! The Congolese think they have the best music and the best dancers. They have this heavenly feeling that they were brought into this world to Sing and Dance... and please, for your own safety, don't you dare challenge that! A Congolese can be spotted from afar by the gait of his walk.... and it also depends on the mood of the walker: A "Ndombolo" walk is a sign of happiness (..also means 'I've just had it'); a "Baba Gaston" walk is a sign of old age. The Nigerians have a THING about clothes and jewellery. They are the Indians of Africa; you'll always find a Nigerian in any part of the world... there is one contending for mayorship somewhere in remote Russia of all the places. There is a Nigerian police inspector in the Falklands .... and there is a Nigerian cashier at the First National Bank of Woolongong.... (somewhere in Australia) I wonder how long he'll be there before he decides to become fluidy with the cash? They are like cockroaches and will be found in the most unusual places. The Ethiopians think they have the most beautiful women on God's earth(think about it, have your ever seen an ugly Ethiopian Lady?...no,not the post-menopause geriatric one, we are talking about the under 45 or so..hmm.), no wonder Arab men are killin themselves to find an Amharo women, lol I wonder what their reasons are, but the truth is Somalis have the most beautiful women in Africa. judging by the cover.....mmh I won't even mention where about the Somalis fit for the time being as they are suffering from a severe identity crisis. How else do you explain a Somali holding a Kenyan passport saying he was born and raised in "Pand-Pieri" (somewhere in Kisumu) while the same gentleman cannot utter the basic general greeting? Moroccans think they're French and so do the Burkinabes. Algerians hate the French. Sierra Leonians smile profusely. Liberians can't get over America...they copy everything including Rambo...no wonder they have Rambo-style rumbles in the jungle. Call it an influence from Hollywood? All East and Southern African countries have more or less the same boring national anthems, but the South Africans sing it the best. Which other national anthem can make your feet lose control and do a jig on their own? The South Africans have thick and springy hair; the Zambians and Kenyans have prominent foreheads and always smell from yesterday's sweat. The Nigerians have thick luscious lips and their females possess some of the widest posteriors. The West Africans have short memories and never learn from their mistakes; how many times are they caught all over the world on drug-related cases yet they continue the trade. How many times are they going to send those silly chain letters asking for bank accounts and pretending they are sons of chief so and so? The concept of order and discipline must have been invented in East Africa; the words don't exist in West Africa, especially in nigeria....does anyone know how many coups that country has endured? In Southern Africa when a cabinet minister is caught in a corruption scandal, he commits suicide; in West Africa he's promoted after the next coup d'etat. In Kenya, he is stripped of his cabinet post for a short while till the dust settles and then re-instated to a higher cabinet post which amalgamates his earlier cabinet post. In essence, he still controls his earlier ministerial post by proxy. In athletics, the divisions are easy: from 800m to the marathon the East Africans hold sway; the West Africans are only good at the sprints. South Africans can only sing. But when it comes to football (soccer),the North and West Africans dominate the lesser-skilled east and Southern Africans. Viva l'Africa! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hibo Posted March 20, 2003 lol, this is the most truthfull article about African identity so far. very intelligent sis. Halla Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gediid Posted March 20, 2003 The Ethiopians think they have the most beautiful women on God's earth(think about it, have your ever seen an ugly Ethiopian Lady?...no,not the post-menopause geriatric one, we are talking about the under 45 or so..hmm.), no wonder Arab men are killin themselves to find an Amharo women, Maybe they have some skills only known to them Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captivating_SouL Posted March 20, 2003 Najmo - where did you get this article exactly lool...i must say it was entertaining reading it thou-. i picked up on some of the things said which in contrast my friends often say... and by the way- haven tha been your first post...WELCOME TO THE NOMAD LAND- WHERE WE NEVER STOP POSTING... *1 xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lovely me Posted March 20, 2003 loooooooool... najmo sis nice topic.!!! The easiest way, of course, is the name, for example "Ogunkoye", "Ekwekwe" or "Babangida" can only be a Nigerian; a"Njoroge", "Otieno" or "Kilonzo" must be from Kenya. kkkkkk... what about somalia?????.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
underdog Posted March 20, 2003 I must say a lot of research went into that article. All stereotypes, but I can appreciate the humour. Now considering all the tribal divisions and their respective stereotypes, can we expect a sequel? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miskin Posted March 21, 2003 wonderful, absolutely wonderful sis, how did you do this. you must be one of those who look deep into things, i can never imagine writing such an article. very creatve of you sister, keep it up we need ppl like you. next time you post can you write about Asia pls coz there are lots of interesting staff to be said about them especially the Arabis, The Chinese and Afganese. peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miriam1 Posted March 21, 2003 LOOL that article was both funny and informative, two thumbs up for your first post Najmo. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Najmo Posted March 21, 2003 you all are very sweet and encouraging, actually, no research has gone to this article if you look around you everyday you'll notice a lot more then you really do now. this was just a way to release the frastration Africans have about their identity, like NAS said in his new song yea you know what i am talking about, you'll know how much colonization has ripped Africans off of, it is time our younger generation noticed more then the big chains around their necks and the fake hairs trying to be white or black, why not just be you African plus be proud...lol enough bout lecture, you probably get enough from your parents already so just be you! aight Peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Keeping Faith Posted March 21, 2003 LOOOL interesting Can u imagine how much time those ppl have in their hands :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shyhem Posted March 21, 2003 U can be nominated for a stand up comedy post,if u ain't shy of the camera. LOooooooooooooooooooooOOL...... ME IS STILL LAUGHING HARD AT ""Somali holding a Kenyan passport saying he was born and raised in "Pand-Pieri" (somewhere in Kisumu) while the same gentleman cannot utter the basic general greeting?"" SURELY THAT'S A ONE MLENDO BROTHER,THATS MY GUESS LOL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gabbal Posted March 22, 2003 loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool! "The Ghanaians think they invented politics. No Ghanaian worth his salt will conclude a conversation without mentioning the famous Kwame Nkrumah or quoting a phrase from one of his speeches. Even when bargaining at the Bazaar, a "Kwame" phrase has a magical effect. The problem is they think that this effect is world-wide!!! A dukawalla in Bombay was forgiven for thinking "Kwame" was a unit of currency in Africa! " Whaoh! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SoMa_InC Posted March 22, 2003 looooooooooolz Very funny n educative post. keep it comin. ''LOooooooooooooooooooooOOL...... ME IS STILL LAUGHING HARD AT ""Somali holding a Kenyan passport saying he was born and raised in "Pand-Pieri" (somewhere in Kisumu) while the same gentleman cannot utter the basic general greeting?"" SURELY THAT'S A ONE MLENDO BROTHER,THATS MY GUESS LOL'' I still find diz funny enough...Pure mlendo..lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
