Polygamy

[Abdinuur]

How do you feel about the issue of Polygamy? Allah gave permission and made lawful for men to marry more than one wife. Allah said "...marry women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one that your right hands possess..." (Quran, 4:3)

 

How would you feel if your future/husband decides to marry another woman? Would be loyal and follow what Allah says in his Book or feel unjust and jealous?

 

Peace and Love.

 

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Jealousy arises often from narrow heart. ---African proverb

[Motor Cycle Cruiser]

Abdinuur,

The last time I gave my honest opinion about polygamy I was bombarded with many nasty and not so pleasant PMs. This time I would just say, love your “only” wife, live happily ever after and grow old together. Do not just steal her beauty and youth, treat her like an old crumbling car and trade her for a younger one.

Peace….

[Abdinuur]

MCC,

 

That's very deep brotha!

[Miriam1]

Salam

 

There would be instances where marrying on ur existing wife would be resonable and undebatable,

She cant have kids Or She is dead. See thats where the reasoning ends for me. I would never let him marry another woman just cause he feels like it and can afford, at that time i will need a divorce cause our marriage just lost all tis purpose.

 

Three is a crowd :rolleyes:

 

Peace

[Manala_garaad_baa]

salaam calaykum.

 

well, i would be loyal & follow what Allah says in His book. But there are conditions:

1. he must meet my needs and our kids needs if there are any kids. there is no point him getting marriage if he did n't meet his wife rights and did n't provide 4 his kids.

2. he must tell me that we want 2 getting min yaro, as i think honest is important key 2 relationship.

there is nothing worst getting phone call that u husband is getting married or got married few days ago.

3. he must follow Allah rules and regelation regarding having more than 2 wives. he must treat us both equaly.

 

salaam.

[Oocyte]

Abdinuur,

Allah permitted it but He discouraged and warned against it;

 

Quran 4:129

Pickthall:

"Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so). But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful."

 

Yusuf Ali:

"Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise self-restraint, God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful."

 

Polygamy is never fair to those involved.

BTW, Question;

How would you feel if your wife has another man(husband) in her life whom she is to be committed to him as much as she is to you?

I am talking about feelings only not religious rulings of polyandry.

 

MCC,

What Some ppl dont realise is Allah didnt make compulsory for men to practice it.

BTW, you explained far better.

 

Jawaahir,

quote:

"She cant have kids"

 

Abaayo, whatever happened to "For better or worse"?

I agree three is a crowd.

 

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"God has not made for any man two hearts in his (one) body......." (Quran 33:4)

[Cadeey_Aba_Nur]

***PLEASE READ***VERY IMPORTANT***

God made clear of what we should do and not do.

And if you doubt/question what God said it is (KUFRI= Meaning you are not a muslim and most of us don't know) you don't have to say ohh I am not a muslim any more to become KAAFIR.

God said Men can mary up to 4 as long they can treat them the same and of course can provide a normal living stndard,

Here comes my point Please don't say Ifs and Buts about what God said, cuz what some of you wrote seem to be common sense.. and common sense has no place what GOD said, it is how GOD said it.

I see some of you are basing their judgment due to few bad apples amongest us.

 

As a women I don't want my Man to mary another woman and I have a choice to accept it or not, but it is KUFRI if I doubt why God admitted.

This may be a free speach place where you can say what ever you want but be careful what you say about God's Book IF you ARE a Muslim NOT IF you ARE claiming to be.

 

Nabadeey

[Miriam1]

Salam

 

Liban i agree with the "For better or worse" notion. But lets face reality there are men who believe having a child of your own blood and fleshs is important. This does not make them bad men or anything tis just thier system of belief.

 

So marrying another woman may be inevitable however they love thier current wives. We should not also forget about family pressure.This does not apply to all men.

 

Peace

[Pujah.]

polygamy will be fine by me as long as i'm not involved. In other words if somebody is having four wives than good luck to him so long as i'm not one of them :rolleyes:

 

I know it's allowed but even the prophet(saw) didn't encourage it. And we have a choice to accept it or ask to be released, and I am feeling the later one

[Sister_Somali]

If Allah (SWT) has allowed men to marry up to 4 wives then who am I to question this? I accept polygamy as legel and even a benefit to many communities, but if I'm honest I would never EVER allow my husband to marry again...I'd make a deal with him before the wedding telling him what is acceptable and what isn't to prevent misundestandings later on. I maybe contradicting myself to a certain degree here but that is how I feel at this point in my life.

[Macalin]

Polygamy has its pros and cons.

beleive me it has many cons than pros.

personally..i don think i will ever marry another wife..thats me..its only fair to your wife.

Now..i do have one dilema tho'.i lovvve kids..and i don wanna think about leaving my wife..no no..i will just pray to allah.. he knows best.

so me and my wife...only and the only two of us..no kids..then so be it!>.

well..i'll talk to my future wife about this..definetly!

[rashida]

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i wouldn't allow my man to get married to other wife no matter what first of all at first when we met we din't agree to get married to have kids but we got married to have sex and enjoy our selves the first thing that came to our mind was sexdesire for sure that is first step to any relationship, that is the fact.

[Armstrong]

Alhamdulillaahi rabil-'aalameen, was-salaatu was-salaamu 'ala nabeeyinaa muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa ashaabihi wa man tabi'ahum bi ihsaanin ila yawmid-deen, amma b'ad

 

Salaamu Alaikum,

 

Listen to this lecture below: and then you will know why polygamy is good and how paramount this topic is to comprehend without knowledge one cannot discuss this topic.

 

Polygamy Lecture (fairly short)

 

If you have no time to listen to it and increase knowledge then allow me summarise the main points:

 

1. Islam came to limit the number of women a man can marry. In the past before the Prophet (SAW) in many societies such as arabia as well as the west and east it was common for men to marry as much as 9 wifes per man without any problems this was the norm and the women accepted.

 

2. Islam limited the number to maximum of 4 wives per man because population of women out number population of men. So Islam did not come to allow but to limit.

 

3. In other religions i.e. Christianity and Judaism they have not limited the number of wives one can marry and hence we can assume one can marry as much wives as possible up to any amount.

 

4. The reason for Islam allowing maximum 4 wives are numerous. Example, women out-number men. Men died in wars such as World War I & II hence more women without men. Approximately millions and millions of men died in World War II compared to approximately 100's of thousands of women.

 

5. Hence, there is not enough men for women so what is the solution ? Polygamy It may be better for the women to share men instead of spending their time alone without male companionship.

 

6. Some sisters do not need to be selfish, what about those lonely sisters who have no man due to shortage of men they wanna get married so they have to find a man this is the women's nature ? Why can't you be willing to share what you have being blessed with ?

 

7. 1,2,3,4 wives is permissible each situation is unique according to the precedent circumstances. This is situational dependent upon various factors mainly women need someone to love and share their life with.

 

If you need more please listen to the lecture.

 

W/Salaam,

 

Mujahid over and out !

[lulla]

Iam totally against. I mean if some other people are okay with, that's them but i can't deal with it. first of all i get jealous and just knowing that my husband had sex with three other female would make me real sick!lol. i could even get disease in that. it is nasty.

[Armstrong]

Alhamdulillaahi rabil-'aalameen, was-salaatu was-salaamu 'ala nabeeyinaa muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa ashaabihi wa man tabi'ahum bi ihsaanin ila yawmid-deen, amma b'ad

 

Salaamu Alaikum,

 

I quote from an anonymous nomad:

 

Iam totally against. I mean if some other people are okay with, that's them but i can't deal with it. first of all i get jealous and just knowing that my husband had sex with three other female would make me real sick!lol. i could even get disease in that. it is nasty.

Looking at the above quoted remarks my fellow nomadic learned brothers and sisters we can crystal-clearly view the composer as using emotional gratuitous approach. Please ponder on these simple notions:

 

1. Your Opinion is irrelevant as we are not discussing whether polygamy is allowed or not since the answer is already provided in the Holy Book. Are you trying to challenge the Holy Book ? Are you trying to challenge a decreed matter ? Are you using bounded rationality to challenge God's law ? Do you claim to know better ? God forbid this.

 

2. One of the facts Islam teaches us is that only Allah is the Law-Giver. Mankind cannot disperse laws unto themselves because mankind has bounded rationality - limited intellectual capability and comprehension. Mankind cannot know every solution to every problem. Mankind is full of faults. Mankind is weak and haste. Mankind is unjust and biased. Where as God All-Mighty is perfect in every sense and the Creator knows better than the creation. Hence submitt to the One that is All-Knowing All-Wise.

 

3. Polygamy is permissible whether one likes it or not due to women out-numbering men. If the composer wishes to adopt an anti-polygamy viewpoint perhaps take steps to learn about polygamy and how it functions rather sublimely in numerous situations. Knowledge will dilute unwarranted emotion and immune oneself from biased opinions.

 

The Quran teaches us:

 

"...marry women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one that your right hands possess..." (Quran, 4:3)

 

4. The composer expressed jealousy at the prospect of their future patner perhaps marrying more than one wife up to maximum of four. Jealousy is a disease of the heart and one must try to remove it by loving for others what he loves for himself. The Prophet (SAW) said in a sahiih hadith the rough translation of the original arabic meanings:

 

" No one will enter Jannah until they are a believer and no one is really a believer until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself."

 

" The believer is like a mirror for his brother if he sees faults in his brother he shall try and correct them and vice versa."

 

5. The composer implies that they might catch disease as the result of polygamy, nothing can be further away from the truth. The chance of sexual transmitted diseases are reduced in a polygamy to almost zero probability as a consequence of the women and the man not entering external relationships and are confined whole-heartedly to the polygamy. Take this hypothetical situation into account, there is a sister who is lonely has'nt got a man in her life she will try desperately to hook a man illegally by sleeping around different men this would increase the chances of her contractig STD'S. On the contrary a sister who is part of a polygamy sleeps with one husband she shares with 1 or 2 or 3 other women and this would free her from std's as she can satisfy her sexual needs in a halal way.

 

6. Finally, I strongly advice people to learn more about polygamy and stop debating about it without solid knowledge of the topic as at the end of the day it is halal and Allah has commanded us to enjoin the good (for example Polygamy) and forbid the evil (for example dating without the intention of marriage and Zina).

 

I hope my humble efforts are rewardful and whatever correct thing I have said comes from Allah and whatever mistake I have made comes from own faults and Allah knows best.

 

Subhanaka- Allahuma wabi h'amdika wa ash-hadu an-la ilaaha ilaa Ant astaghfuruka wa atubu ilaik

 

W/Salaam,

 

Mujahid over out !