How do you feel about children beaten up by their parents

[ARAWEELO]

Hello everyone I always ask myself this question, why is it necessary to beat up children?

I think that children are small people and should be treated like human beigns. When you stand tall and look down to a child & yell, you are just showing the child that you are bigger, stronger and can do anything you want to the child. I don't think that is the best way of teaching children how to solve an issue in a respectful way, but what you are preaching is the only other way wich is violence and terror. Children do listen even if they don't seem like at the time. I think we should build their self steem and not destry it.

Give a good reason why you think that children should be or shouldn't be beaten?

Love!

[A7LA-SHU]

girl well said... that is how i see it too. no need to be all voilance with them. i think most of our parents always thought punishing them is the only way to get the kid do what the parents wanted them to do but that is not how it is thou.. and as i learn in my psychology punishing them is never the answer or any way to solve the problem.. but some punishment is needed so the kid to know they did something wrong and they shouldn't do that again.

 

like making them not watch tv or their favorite show, no telephone. or take a way their favorite toys.. but the best way is talking to them.. i know i never listened to my mom atleast i wasn't in to what she was saying.. but the older u get the more u wanna do what ur parent told u coz u feel hey they were right..

 

my mom should hear me say this coz she thinks it is the western way or raising kids lol .. but that is how i punish my brothers.. it is kinda fun lol .. but yeah no beating them up for the love of god...

[runawayvirgin]

Araweelo, I think this is a reall awesome topic.....me personally I think combinning both is the most usefull. Children ARE human beings but their mentality is not like ours. Mostally, they take your respect as a weakness, so they start to disrespect, talk back, reject, and yell even. Then as we know we end up beating them or grounding them. I'm not praising to beat up inoccent children for nothing but if you really see most of the children that were raised in foreign countries were phisical hurt is not allowed you'd understand my opinion. :confused:

[Blessed]

I would really be grateful if Somali parents find other means of diciplinning their children. i usec to work in a nursery (kindergarten) a while back and it was so difficult to get Somali kids to listen ... walahi, its like talking, shouting didn't make any sense to them.

 

I once, after a tiring session asked a kid why he didn't listen... he said, ' bari hooyo ayaa keeneysa ul', meaning, if i don't listen, you can beat manners into me. That is so sad walahi, not only, was the kid was too cute to beat (he had his good moments) but it also makes dicipline really difficult for teachers.

 

This lady was asking me if there are any services for Somali parents in this field, she was having difficulty with this Somali student, the parents just couldn't handle her.

 

I am really into using behavioural psychology on kids.. positive reinforcements for good beahvior and negative ones for bad behaviour.

 

Beating doesn't have long term affects and the kid is gonna end up hating you or picking uip bad habits. Children are more intelligent then we give them credit for. I adults treat them with respect, whilst maintainning authority, we might just get the same in return ......

 

Islam doesn't encourage the beating of children, does it?

 

my two pennies worth,

 

Salaaaaaams

[Buubto]

I agree with youse beating a child is absolutely wrong. Infact when u beat them up they get worse such as talking your back, sticking their tongue, calling u names when u not around & etc. the other thing is u teaching them the only way to solve a problem is by violence. How often we see a child that is practicing what the pranced told him not to do, when they’re around the child will never deer to do cuz he/she knows they will be beaten. But what is the use if they still do it behind your back. Wouldn’t be better solving the problem by trying to make them understand the reason they can not do it rather than hitting them?

 

I also think kids shouldn’t be given too much freedom. Like magnoona_girl said they should be punished in different ways such as:- no play time, no visiting friends, no Nintendo & etc. the other thing is kids shouldn’t not be kept in dark for example in our culture we don’t communicate with kids very often we push them a way. & that causes a huge effect on the kids, they need to be communicated & welcomed. Pushing them away by thinking they r kids, u will lead them to fall them in the hands of enemy teaching them all the bad things.

[StarGazer]

Excellent topic sistaluv!!!

Is it just me or beating up children is a tradition in Somali culture? There's nothing worse than seeing a child beaten in public for small act ups. Does it really take spanking to get your child's attention? It sure shows how much power you have over them. I believe there more positive ways to disciple a child that let's them know who the authority is. Like some1 mentioned, punishment doesn't have to come in an a form of bodily harm. How about taking them away from the things they really enjoy: grounding, t.v., playtime, friend etc.

 

Ameenah: you can suggest to your local somali settlement agency to set up workshops for parents. What do ya think?

[Naasir]

Well, I am sure you all agree that we have to discipline our children to conroll their behavier, we don't have to harm them but instruct and bring under control cuz if u let them do what ever they decide they will choose all the wrong things...DON'T lett this part of the world fool ya, we all or most of us beaten up but the result is it made us strong obedience and most of all know the difference between right and wrong...

In my case I used to hate when my Parents used to beat me up, I really hated them to death But today becasue of them I am strong man who didn't fall for the wrong habits(smoke/chat/drink/hating school/disrespecting others/leaving his religion..etc). And I ask God to reward my parents for teaching me to do the RIGHT THING.

REMEMBER THEY DIDN'T HARM ME NEITHER HAVE THEY PHYSICALY OR PSYCHOLOGICALY CAUSED ANY INJURY BUT ENOUGH TO DISCIPLINE ME...CUZ SOME OF MY FRNDS I GREW UP WITH GOD KNOWS WHAT THEY DO TODAY..

 

Hal Soomaali

 

As always just a Thought

Keep the

[Cadeey_Aba_Nur]

Well said Naasir, I couldn't agree more. I have had the same xperience ( waa leey xanuujiyay laakiin wax dhaawac ah la iima geesanin), ani xitaa waa lidkeey waa necbaa markeey i tumaan but it paid off now because I am a good person.

Marka ha iska dhiginina Reer Galbeed ee ciyaalkiina edba idinka oo dhaawac u geeysaheenin.

 

Nabadeey

[Oocyte]

I am against child beating by parents. Beating wouldnt discipline but teach children violence and hatred.

We also have a lot negativities (eg; 1.If you dont pray you will go to Hell instead of saying if you do pray you will be in Heaven. 2.If you dont study you will get beaten etc...)

Parental involvement in children`s activity at schools and homes are minimal in our society.

Rules should be set for children and followed.

Children should be talked( they do listen) and discussed issues with.. they should be held accountable for their right and wrong doings both.

 

Ameenah,

I always wondered why are Somali kids so wild? they cant sit anywhere and destroy all the things in the houses..... I even saw some spitting on guests. Behavioral psychology does work well. We need to study more on our children`s behaviours.

 

Naasir,

Many of us were beaten up during childhood but those beating didnt make everyone strong as you put it and it sure didnt teach us right from wrong. They are as many Somalis who were beaten and do those stuff you mentioned(smoke/chat/drink/hating school/disrespecting others/leaving his religion..etc)

Almost most Somali kids got beaten in Quran schools and what exaclty did that teach you? dropping Dugsi or disliking the religion!

If BEATING would discipline and make a child a better person who is educated, religious, respecting others, doing no drugs/alcohol,..... it would have worked for African Americans!!

 

Cadeey,

Dhaawac is not only physical evidence, Dhaawac is done mentally on those kids beaten.

Lets not go in to reer galbeed and brain washing nonsense! Compare Somali child with reer Galbeed kid`s behaviour.

[Naasir]

Cadeey I know u ain't go no choice but to agree wit me, u know am your Profsr...

 

LIBIN Marka hore hanuunka ilaahaa leh waalidkana waxaa waajib ku ah in uu ku dadaalo sidii uu ilmihiisa u bari lahaa diinta iyo adduunyo wixii anfici lahaa.. Waa laga yaabaa cunug lagu soo dadaalay in uu SAQAJAAN noqdo, laakiin waa og nahay caruurta badankood BABIS ayay wax ku leeyihiin...

 

Hal Soomaali

 

As always just a thought

Keep the

[mataan]

SALAAMS nomads;

 

first, i am 100% against beating up children, there could be other approaches to discipline kids.

 

secondly, somali parents dont really know how to discipline kids, especially in the western countries. how many times have you seen a parent lying to his/her kid, cussing them or even cursing them, i have seen a lot. the first teacher of the kid is his parents and anything they see from the parent they will do. maalin walba wuxu arkayaa hooyadii iyo aabihii oo isu tirinaya ama is xag-xaganaya, so what u expect from the kid.

 

PS. Mustafe Ismail has made very good tapes on Tarbiyadda caruurta.

 

wasalaam

[Oocyte]

Naasir,

 

Quote;

"laakiin waa og nahay caruurta badankood BABIS ayay wax ku leeyihiin..."

 

Caruurta babbis wax kuma laha kumana maqlaan. All they need is proper care and guidance.

 

Mataan,

 

I agree with you...

[Valenteenah.]

I'm against beating children too. I believe there are better ways of disciplining them. Of course a little smack on the bottom now and then won't do any harm.....laakiin Soomaalidu si cadow ah bay caruurtooda u dilaan.....and I'm totally against that.

[shawty]

hey thnx for this topic araweelo!

 

first of all.im against beating kids but i believe that nobody wanna hurt his own flesh and blood.specially kids,coz they R weak and vulnerable and depended.

but yall gotta admit that ciyaalka somalida R hardheaded and stubber.

they only react to terror.they gotta be afraid of U if u want them to behave.i have seen that with tha kids of my aunt.

at a real young age I started to punish them by taking thangs away, like that tv and stuff.i have grounded them for like a week.

 

i hear yall saying about punish them like da western culture but thatz not gonna help with our kids yall know why.COZ OUR KIDS AIN'T ATTACHTED TO ANYTHANG.tv/playstation/dvd even daylight u can all take away but they be like sooo..what eva.

 

im against beating kids but if u want to dicipline a somali kid.u gotta play hard ball.is amazing but they like fear/terror/total control.

don't beat them but make sure that they R scared of U.and when they R out of control beaten is tha only solution.sadly enough.

but hey i have been azzwhooped back in da days and im just doing fine so.........

 

holla

[Prhyme_Suspek]

Beat em lil mofo's if i wasnt xaram i woulda beat em to death walahi