mohamedj Posted May 18, 2002 NIn ( qof) dhergiyo nin ( qof) dhowr qaday an dheef an dheefayn nin ( qof) dhoofiyo ( nin) qof dhoofiyo nin kii degan dhulkii hooyo! dhedig iyo laboodnaa howli kama dhamaatee qof waliba waxii dhibay dhafoorkay ku taalla hees somaliyeed!! furiinka badan, hooyooyin keli ku ah ubad, aabo keli ku ah ubad iyo weliba laba shaqsi oo is furay waa mowduucyo laga hadlaayey ilaa intii somaalidu soo gashay qurbaha . markii la joogay meeliha aan kasoo jeedno, sababo badan ama siyaalo badan baa jirey oo keeni jirtey in laba qof kala tagaan, ama waalidkeligii ahi koriyo ubad. ha yeeshee erayada aan ka baranay debeda waxaa ka mid ah eray qof ba siduu doono u yidhaahdo.. Single mother.. single father". u fiirso way jireen dad badan oo isfura dhulkii, ha yeeshee waxaa loo arkaayey wax caadi ah .. mayna daba socon eraygan la Af soomaliyeeyey!!! inkastoo aanan jeclayn inaan ka hadlo astaamaha ama falceliska, ama Tabnaanta iyo erayga isticmaalkiisa waxaa haboon in aanan qofna ogayn waxa dadku u kala tagaan. mawada ogaan karo laba qof waxay ku kala tageen . waa laga yaabaa inaad goobjoog ka ahayd ama maqashay laba ama dhowr qof waxay u kala tageen. waxaana taas kasii daran inaan marna runta si qoto dheer looga gaadhi karin arimaha sababa in laba qof kala hayaamaan.. sababtoo qof kastii tiisa ayuu kuu sheegayaa. Hase yeeshee waxaad moodaa inay caadi noqotay in aad eed dusha looga tuuro amuura Xanuun leh ( ILLS) oo ku jira bulshada qurbo joogta ah ama tii joogtay dhulkii aan kasoo carceernay. si kastaba ha ahaatee waxaan xooga ku darsanyaa fekredayda halkan afkaarta la qabo khalad iyo sax: waa marka hore, markii aan joognay dhulkii aan ka soo haajiray dadku siyaalo badan yaa sababi jirtey inay kala tagaan. ka ugu weynaa waxuu ahaa jacayl luma oo ay soo dhexgalaan amuuro wata Tashuush. Taasi adduunka oo dhan bay ka jirtaa , mana aha mid ugaara somaalida. dad laysu dhisay oo aan iyagu is rabinba marka hore ... kuwo is caashaqay oo jaceylkoodii Gaagaxay!! Tani somalida keli iyana kuma aha... waa run marka hore in sabo ama degaan ama hayaan waliba leeyahay bay'adiisa amase ifafaalihiisa sugan . haydii aynu is nidhaahno bal oddorosa dhacdooyinka ama waaqiciga iyo wacyiga jira waan isla garanay in ay jirto gedoon ku dhacay hanaanka nololeed ee sabadii aynu kasoo hayaanay iyo Tan aynu joogno, laakiin sida wax loo sheegayaa khalad badan baa ku jira. way jirtaa in yurub ama Latin ameerika ay jiraan Guno ama Adeeg laga qaato dawlada. lagan yaabee in dad badan door bidaan inay is qoraan waxa loogu yeedho " single mother" ama " single father". Taasoo ay ka dambayso Guno korodhsi ama dakhli korodhsi. Qoyska noocaas ahi waxaa ku kalifay badankiisa Baahi dhaqaale oo adag. labada qofna ay waayeen dakhli ku filan iyaga. waxaba laga yaabaa inaanay awoodin nolol maalmeedkooda amase kirada guriga, amase ay jiraan xadhko dawli ah oo haya qoyska. waxan aad ula yaabaa dad badan oo ka hadla amuurahan ayaa qaba ( malahayga xaasidnimo ama iyagu Xooga shaqo ah haysta oo ka dhigta faan amaba is tusid kale, ama ismaaweelin jaahilnimo ka dambayso amase Digasho, oo aad moodo in iyaga loo diray ka faaloodka danaha dadka kale ) ku dooda maxay u shaqaysan waayeen, maxay sidaa u yeeli waayeen, iyo waxyaabo la mid ah! ma jecli inaan ku dheeraado amuurahan, laakiin waxaan dadku ogeyn ama aan waxba ka gelin amuuraha dadka qaar xidhxidha amase Xadhkaha ku xidhan dad badan oo qurbo joogaah... mar aan u shaqayn jirey hayadaha gargaarka bixiya waxaan aad u arkay dhibatooyinka dadku qabo iyo xeerarka haya dadka qaar. Ha ahaadeen somali, iyo dadkaleba ... kuwa u malaynaya in soomali u badan tahay sidaa wax ay ogyihiin baa iska yar!! shaqooyinka dadka inta badan la helo waa kuwo aan lahayn horumar ama marka lagalo hoos u dhac dhaqaale ( resection) la waayo). markii halka la yimi Xirfada dadku yiqiin mahayn isku mid.. inyar baa xitaa garanaysey English!! kuwa xitaa sitey shahaadooyin wadamad qaar loomaba ogolayn inay ku shaqaystaan kuwaas!! waxaas kasii daran taas dakhliga soo gala qoyska in ay dadkoodii wax uga dirayeen!! Amuurta labaad ee jirta waxay tahay inay jirto rag badan oo ku dhintay dagaaladii ama laba qoys oo kala hadfay.. waxaa laga yaabaa in qoysas badani kala maqan yihiin sanado ay u suurtoobi weydey inay isa soo gaadhaan, amase Sponsor u suurtoobi waayey. waxaaba dhacda in badan in nin ku hadhay dhulkii, hase yeeshee ay xaaskiisa isu iman kari waayeen in badan.. waxaaba dhici karta inuu haweenay kale oo wehel doonaysa guursado. dabadeedna tii hore i tidhaahdo i fur!!!! halkaana ay ku keliyaysato Ubadka. Ta saddexaad waxaa ku dhex dhaca IS AFGARAN WAA! Tan isafgaranwaagu waa mid laga yaabo inay keentay dabciga, fekerka, shaqsiyada, ama Tan degaanka amase sabada, dhaqaalaha, iyo waxyaalo la hal maala ... tani maaha mid laga wada siman yahay mana ah mid la odhan karayo dad oo dhan baa ka siman!! genarilization cannot give us the true picture .. tani waa ta ugu badan ee dadku ka dhigtaan hal hayska! waana ta aadka layaabka u leh!! tusaale ahaan, haddii rag badani qaad cunaan ( i am not saying here isnot factor, the opposite) in nin waliba cuno aynuba nidhaano waa loo badan yahay.. ha yeeshee rag badan oo qaad cuna yaa guryahoodu dhisanyahay!!! ( im not saying it isnot bad !! it is one of the Ills - or evils here) . Ta afraad kibir, aqoon xumo, Ficiltan, gor gortan, ama Faan meel waayey ee dumar!! oo ay weheliso Tala xumo rag!!! (lack of immagination!) tani waa ta ugu daran ugu xanuunka badan! Tani waa ta sabadu keento, amase ay ka masuul tahay garowshiinyo la'aan amase amuur falanqayn la'aan oo aan u jeedo waxa aka qalaad lugu tibaaxo ama lagu asteeyo : lack of communications! RAGA soomaliyeed badankoodu waa rag aad u hanweyn (Proud) oo aan jeclaan jirin gorgortan ama inay dumar la ficiltamaan ama dumarku la ficiltamo.. inkastoo aan la odhan karin dadku si bay u wada arkaan taas.. u fiirso odhaahdaan! meelaha qaar waxaa la odhan jirey : waa la jebiyaa haddii koob ay guriga la soo gasho , waayo anaa leh, iyo kaygii uun baanay kaala dhamaanayn. hase yeeshee tani may ahayn wax la hirgeliyey xitaa dhulkeenii, miyo iyo magaaloba!! marna ma noqon mid taaba gasha. Reer miyigu xitaa xoolo ay leedahay gaar ahaan haweynadu ayaa jirey oo ku magcaaban iyada... inkastoo ay ku kala duwan yihiin somalidu taas!! markii halka lasoo galay dumar fara badani khalad weyn bay fahmeen!! fekrado khalad ah oo ay keentay siyaasadaha, dastuurada, iyo xeerark dowliga ah ee ka jira wadamad la soo galey ... furiinka badani wuxuu ku batay soomalida xiligii lixdanka . taas waxaa keenay in dadbadani soo galaan magaalooyinka, halkaasoo aanay jirin Adeeg gargaarikaraya dadka faraha badan ee kusoo qulqulaya magalooyinka. waxaa xiligaa soo badanayey dadka qaadka cuna! Mida kale dadka ka yimi miyiga waxay ku noqotay nolol cusub taas oo la barbar dhigi karayo tan qurbaha ee marka aynu ka nimi dhulkii qaarkeen la qabsankari weyney xilligaas waxaa jirey isbdel weyn oo saamayey amuuraha ijtimaaciga ee qoyska ! 1970s waxaa ku dhacay somalida wixii la odhan jirey " xeerka Qoyska" ee lagu laayey wadaadada.. taasi oo iyana keentay in furiin badan kusoo bato dalkii loogu yeedhi jirey soomaliya. Amuuro fara badan oo ay ka midyihiin dhaqaale, Abaaro ( sida tii daba dheer), Soo saarka petroolka Carabta, iyo siyaasada waddanka xilligaas yaa iyana keentay in dad badani u hayaamaan ama u irsiq raadsadaan dhulka carabta.. tan lafteedu dhibkeeda iyo wanaageedaba way lahayd! iyana qayb bay ka ahayd gedoonka Ijtimaaciga guurka ... hadaba Xeerkii qoysku wuxuu keenay isna dhib hor leh iyo inay liicdo xeerarkii isu hayay qoyska ! hadaba markii halkan la yimi waxaa lala kulmay isbedel ba'an oo keenay dirir, iyo dumar dhegahooda galeen " power", iyo inay ninka eryi karaan... iyo xitaa is hafrid, dhaqan hafrid, eedayn iyo aftaag edeb daran ! nin la yidhi "bax" intuu maryihiisa qaatay buu irida boobay! dibna aanu usoo eegin! laba murantay ayaa " 911" soo dhexgalay!! dumarkan noocan ah ee kusoo melmalaya tan raga caqligoodu ma fayooba!! nin somaliyeed oo weligiis qaadan gef dumar oo weliba hiil dulinimo ka dambeeyo wuxuu door biday inuu keligii SARIIR GALGASHO ama ugaba sii gucleeyo ama kaba qaato hayaan ama geedi kale!! iyada iyo caruurteedana ka dhigay " kab iyo Xaarkeed waa laysku truuraa!!" inkastoo ay ku tahay gef Ubadka yar yay ee aan waxba galabsan!! somalida badankeeda oo Ula booca isugu tukbaysaa yaa tani sii kordhisay in si aad ah lookala Irdhoobo. Rag qaar ayaa iyana heli kari waayey garowshiiyo --- Imagination, ama noqday DOWDARIIN!!! KUWAN QAARKOOD WAXAY ILLAAWEEN ODHAAHDII AMA XIKMAD SOOMALIYEED OO ODHANAYSA!! XILUHUU UUREYEEY XOOGMOODE YAA RAG UGU LITAA!! KUDAR TAN KALE : NIN DIIDA TALO HAWEEN WAA U CARUUR LA'AAN! KU DAR TANKALE: SADDEX BAA RAG U LIITA : 1. MA TOSHE 2. MA TASHIISHE 3.IYO MA TASHADE!! KUWANI HAWEENKOODI OO RABA ADEEG, AMA CARUURTOODII OO RABA IN WAQTI UU LA QAATO ama ooridiisii oo aan haysan wehel, walaal, eedo, amase Ma huraan, amase gacal wiirsanayn ayuu ka maqan yahay oo uu habeenkasta isagoo aaan ku maqnayn waxbarasho, shaqo, amase wax faa'iido u keeni kara isaga amase bulshada kale, amase qoyskiisa laga yaabaa inuu ka baado.... waxaa kasii daran dad iyana kuwaa ka sii daran oo soo fara geliya qoyska .. kuwan dumar yaa ka dambeeya... Calaan kasta oo aan laga fiican yahay waa loo afmiishaareeyey. doqonkasta oo lagu maadsanayo waxaa loo sheegay naa sidan yeel, naa kan sameey! naa anba sidaanaan yeelay! naa ninkani hakuu tumo arooskaaga.... Naa kan iska celi .... alla maxay hoogtey oo ba'day!! siduu hadalkaa kuu yidhaahdaa! naa ina keen oo dee hebelba guriga hasii joogo!! ninkasta oo gurigiisa dhaqanaya waxaa layidhi : naa ma ogtahay hebel anaa u taliya, .. waar ma ogtahay kan iyadaa u talisa... Naa gaadhigaa kan iyo kan!! waxaa kasii daran sida dayarta ay uga xumaatay inayba u holadaan guur .. rag iyo dumar!! anigu mar hore yaan ku gaadhay go'aan Tan " guur aan ka laa'aado!!" markaan arkay in gabdho badani yidhaahdaan : ragii somaaliyeed this and that .. kuwaasoo malaa u arka in rag yahay qof ay maqleen oo keliya.. ragga laftoodu waa la mid .. gebo gebo ahaan: beribaa waxaa la yidhi riyo ayaa meel daqayey . riyaha mid baa madoobayd. tii madoobeyd yaa meel yare durugsan u yare cosob doonatay. markay xoogaa daaqeysey yay tebtey riyihii kale.. ridii way soo carartay .. riyihii oo ilaabey beledan madow ee ka mid ahayd iyada yaa moodey iyada bahal, ama inay bahal ka cararayso . riyhii way yaaceen.. ridiina way daba jabsatey dhag, dhag,!! ridu waxay isleedahay yaanay riyuhu kaa cararin amase bahalbayba arkeene adna ka carar... riyuhu iyaday bahal u haystaan!! nin meel fadhiya yaa la yidhi bal u garnaq riyahay : wuxuu yidhi " ridu gar leh, riyuhuna gar leh!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigergirl02 Posted May 18, 2002 Indeed to my knoweldege the divorce rate amongst somalians are increasing. There are a large population of Somali single mothers. All though my thoughts don't have a significant research backup, I would like to think the reason for the increase in single parenting is because of lack of communication and respect. First lets address communication. Somalians by culture aren't very expressive with thier emotions. In tradition, when two people get married they each assume thier prescribed role in the relationship without any questions and further requests. Now more and more women have the oppertunity to be equally educated and employed and therefore, the wives aren't communicating their change of role in the marriege system. Thus, husbands aren't understanding why the wive they married are not the same women laying next to them.THe change in moving into a foreign country are not disccused on how it changes the marriege system, but rather expereinced. We have to remember exprencing is not communicating. We can all expreince the samething, but we will not know how that makes us feel if we aren't talking and communicating about them. Now lets talk about respect. IN our culture far too many people get married for convience, wheather it be money, tribe relations, parents request or advice, etc..So some women accept their maritial status for a while, untill they can't take it anymore. Once, reality kicks back in, respect flies out of the window. thus, who would want to be married into a relationship where is no respect. Besides, now women realize that they can accomplish just as much as their male counterpart, so being married for convience is no longer a must, but a rather a minimal part of their lives. peace and blessings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shawty Posted June 6, 2002 i think their is two side of this story.their ain't one to blame ~~ to my girlz~~ i see just married girlz who get their first child and completly change.they come on some weight.and wanna stick around tha house all day long.don't even dress sexy no more! thatz why lot of young marriage fail.that guy married u coz u were all dressing up.u were sexy in his eyes. u were satisfying him, doing ya thang na mean?and now? u probably don't wanna have sex no more. come on girls can we blame them for checking out other girls? who R sexy and doing their thang? or even in da worse cases gonna get married again(second wife).that why im saying yo.if your tight your marriage is gonna stay tight.and maybe it might get even hotter.we can be a mother and a sexy lady at da same time don't think we can't. my advice to my girlz: *when you get birth to a child and u came on some weight,get ya azz up and work out. *make sure u dress sexy again(just for ya man) * go out with him ones and while. * show him satisfaction at all time. and believe me da flame will neva die. ~~to my brothers ~~ guyz come on yall have a share in this story.it ain't all women who mess up a marriage.no it takes two u know. if u weren't sleeping all weekend long coz u eated qaad ur wife wouldn't be all that dramatic. and if u can't help her round tha house when u come home from work.she is gonna feel like she is doing this all by her self. like ur not carring.And when it comes to tha object money? don't act like she is a golddigga or some.she just wants to take care of u,tha kids and da house.she is all doing it for YALL.(maybe thatz hard to believe).don't disrepect ya woman thatz ain't cool. ~~so guyz my adice to yall?~~ *make sure yall stay away from qaad.u can't eat that shit all night long and wanna sleep all day long. *make sure ur wife is feels like she is da sexiest woman alive.(give her complements). *take her out ones in a while. *be romantic. *be equeal in your marriage not that shit about being tha man of tha house and she is ya slave. *when it come to money.whatz hers is yours and what yours is hers. *help her round tha house(shows that u care) * stay sexy coz that girl wants da cute man she got married to(soo guyz who eat qaad loose tha belly) AND YALL GOT A HAPPY HOME no more to it holla Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG Moti Posted June 8, 2002 Man the sista said it all and way to go sista shawty keeeeeeep hypnotzing his azz looooool but not mine stay cool guys and good discussion Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shawty Posted June 8, 2002 don't worry im gonna keep ****** Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrRomantic Posted June 29, 2002 I came to the right place, with the right answer! Aaaa so finally, you ask yourself the altamet question i was trying to educate my fellow brother of. The answer to your question is just few forum above, -Clik on camal milk threads, look on top of the page, -then click on woman{dumarka) -then (who wants to join 'anti-somaliwoman'. that where u r answer lays! I left & left an answer! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Rocks Chick Posted July 3, 2002 Maybe not enough trips to Victoria's Secret or La Senza/Silk&Satin ? xoxox Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thunder Posted July 3, 2002 I've never been married so I wouldn't why men leave women. May be he got bored with her, or he couldn't take qeeladeeda. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG Moti Posted July 3, 2002 Maybe qeyladeeda aa war ileen tanookale war thunder ala maxaan kurka kugu dhufan lahaa .. war sow ma aha waxa lagu jeclaaday dumarka qeylada iyo dhibka .. war laakiin it is ok since you said u never married .. any way the problem is QAAD and some brothers like to have more women like old times where too many women means powers and the other reason is the sisters do not take care of their bodies and never know the GYM's way. also some were saying the women power given to them is under testing by somali sisters to see the effect of those powers, either way it has to stop and we must realize we need each other and we will solve the problems together ... i am planing to open a clinic soon inshaallah to talk about such problems and first few days will be free of charge then ofcourse the brothers and sisters shall pay some fees the service is needed beleive me it is needed and it will be over the net no face to face.. throu e-mail send me e-mails and i shall advice.. peace to all the brothers and sisters Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sacdiya Posted October 24, 2006 I know I'm late to reply this topic, but I just find out this website recently.It is interesting and I had to respond to in this topic. This is really a good topic and it is often overlook in our society, as most of you know the divorce rate is increasing in our community particularly in North America. We need to have an open dialogue and discuss this issue. At the end of the day we might not come up solution to what the problem is, but at least our discussion may become an eye opener to many who are not aware of such problem exists in our society. Marriage problem and divorce are common everywhere in the world and their causes are deeply rooted on both partners. As the saying goes (it takes two to tango), Therefore, it is wrong to say one individual is responsible for the main problem and blame one partner for the action of the other. If I speak from my own experience I have seen families who are in the midst of this problem and they both equally involve of their ongoing argument. I have seen irresponsible and inconsiderate, men and women who have children together are raising them in such condition. What kind of parenting is that? Imagine the kind of upbringing those children would have and the unpleasant environment they would grow up. Parents are role models for their children and children do follow their parent’s footstep, it is the parent’s responsibility to set good examples for their children. It is unfortunate if decent person ends up marrying to irresponsible and careless individual. It is not right to put the blame on one gender solely, we all know that there are good people out there but their marriage suffers because they both are responsible for their misery, and because of that one partner may decide to not longer put up with the marriage and as a result seek divorce to be the real solution. Personally if I were in similar situation I would not jump to the conclusion and seek divorce right away I would try to find other alternative solution and work it out to settle our differences. There is a saying in Somali (Hadaan la kala ronaan roob ma da’o), it is more likely that our marriage will survive if we have patient, and be responsible for our own action and do the right thing. There are also times when both partner cannot settle their differences and the best way to solve the issue is to get out of that unhappy marriage. At the same time it is better for the divorced couple to be friends especially if they have children together. This is just suggestion and I do understand there are others who will disagree with me and that is perfectly okay with me, everyone are entitle to their opinion. Asalamu ailakum, my fellow brothers and sisters. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diya Posted October 25, 2006 Ciid Mubarak every one and asalamucalaykum to you all... i know i am late to reply, but as i was reading what is new, this topic catched my attention. first of all, increasing somali divorce is big delimma and many people are unaware of it. even if we know the problem, we always look the other angle, and shake our shoulders. saying that, " its not my business it's halima's or farax" but actually what we dont know is that, what happens to somali sister or brother becomes our problem. in my own point few, i believe the only reason why somalis divorce is lack of communication, respect, and each person not knowing what is their actual duty is. as i was reading each person's respond to this question, it seems to me that, most people are blaming women. but this's what i am saying, they both should be blamed, because one single person doesnt start argument nor a problem. also, since we come to this western countries, somali people are adapting different enviroment, culture, and different way of dealing with people, and that some how confused the relationship between women and men. so all i am saying is that, let us not forget where we come from, our diin which is islam, and our culture. thanks, and my allaah bless you all, and guide you the right path. amiin. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SURAMBAYA Posted November 12, 2006 Somali women have this thing where they only listen, take orders, advice, whatever... from non other than, fellow Somali women. Its obvious they are not yapping about Soaps, their kids grades or daughter's piano lessons. They chat about what?...you guessed it right, HUSBANDS. Most of these women lie to each other, painting a rosy picture of their lives and making the other one look bad and hopeless...whatever. Before you know it, husband and wife are into it, about the other husband and wive's new (paid off) Honda van or lovemaking skills....whatever. Do you smell DIVORCE here? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted November 12, 2006 this is very simply: xalimos lost R E S P E C T!... find out what that means yall...then holla..! till then asta la vista!! :confused: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sacdiya Posted November 13, 2006 Originally posted by rudy: [QB] this is very simply: xalimos lost R E S P E C T!... find out what that means yall...then holla..! till then asta la vista!! Xalimos still have their Respect. But the question u need to ask yourself is do you? :eek: No wonder you have Rudy as nick name Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
