Marrying across Somalia's caste lines

[cynical lady]

By Mohammed Olad Hassan BBC News, Mogadishu

 

The family of Sahal Abdi-kafi no longer talk to him following his wedding to his long-time girlfriend Zamzam Ahmed, a member of Somalia's lower caste Yahar community.

Sahal says the Islamist edict persuaded him to go ahead with the wedding

Despite his family's strong disapproval, the couple went ahead with their marriage, encouraged by an edict from the Islamist group which has taken control of the capital, Mogadishu, and much of southern Somalia this year after 15 years of lawlessness.

 

Sahal and Zamzam had been seeing each other secretly for five years but neither ever really believed their romantic dream would end in marriage.

 

"We were very different - in lifestyle, in thinking, in tastes," said Sahal, who runs a big electronics shop in Mogadishu's main Bakara Market and who comes from a prominent family of merchants.

 

In contrast, Zamzam's father has died and her mother sells the popular stimulant khat.

 

"Yet we fell in love, we expected the heavens to fall when my parents would come to know of our affair, we expected the worst and were prepared for the worst," Salal says.

 

 

After centuries of deep divisions, cross caste weddings like Sahal and Zamzam's are now becoming more common.

 

Prejudice

 

Union of Islamic Courts leader Sheikh Sharif Sheikh Ahmed recently said Somalis should marry good Muslims, whatever caste they were from, in an effort to break down centuries of prejudice.

 

"Islam recommends choosing your partner according to whether they follow their religion and whether they are of good character but not because of their social level," he said.

 

Sometimes life is indeed like a Bollywood movie Zamzam Ahmed Sahal, 35, supports the Islamists and says Mr Ahmed's speech convinced him to go ahead with the wedding, despite his parents' opposition.

 

Somalia's caste system is extremely complicated.

 

While some members of the lower castes, such as the Yahar, Midgan, Eyle, Boon, say they face constant discrimination, several members have risen to occupy prominent positions in society.

 

Many members of the lower castes perform jobs such as metal-working, hunting with dogs, shoe-making and hairdressing.

 

Marriage is the area where traditional prejudices remain strongest, with men who marry lower caste women often ostracised by their families.

 

Beloved

 

Sahal knew his family would be upset by the wedding and felt unable to tell them that he and Zamzam had gone ahead and tied the knot.

 

When he did break the news, his father immediately told him to divorce his new wife and choose another, higher caste, woman.

 

 

"My parents promised me they would pay a large amount of money for the cost of my wedding if I married a woman of my caste, but I could not disown my beloved one," he said.

 

"She is beautiful, polite, obedient to me, pious and God-fearing, so there was no reason not to marry her."

 

Zamzam says she only knew that she loved Sahal and never thought about their difference in social background.

 

She said it was beyond her wildest dreams to see herself sharing a life with Sahal.

 

"Love knows no age, no caste, and no creed. There can be no other explanation why Sahal could have fallen in love with me," she said.

 

"However, he married me against the wishes of his parents, jeopardising his relations with his relatives and friends and that of the community he comes from," she added.

 

"Finally, he was mine and I was his. Sometimes life is indeed like a Bollywood movie," she said, smiling.

 

PS where is the box of tisues at? am crying a river here.

[hodman]

unless Soamli ppl get over such discrimination there is no hope for any of us

[mantra]

lol

Somali's and love...how wrong

[beeteljuice]

my family would let me marry someone not somali as long as hes "believes in allah and is a muslim" they dont care

[Nehanda]

Gosh, I had no ideas that Somali had lower or upper casts.

 

Honestly, I can not understand why one should be discriminated on something of which they have no control of. Ignorance has no boundary. Parents should advice not dictate.

 

Another good thing from the Islamic courts. Well done!

[Continental_Batchelor]

Intersting read. This sort of thing exists in the indian community - culure over religion.

[Cabdow]

It's up to our generation to eliminate this believe or better yet "myth", that has been carried away from our elders for the past few generations, and start integrating with the rest of our bretherns from all walks of life 'aslong they claim to be muslims' We should also boycot this mentality of 'laandheer's are better than maangaab' propaganda crap.

 

Sheikh sharif sheikh ahmed " Allah yacizuh" said it best, when he said.

"Somalis should marry good Muslims, whatever caste they were from, in an effort to break down centuries of prejudice. Islam recommends choosing your partner according to whether they follow their religion and whether they are of good character but not because of their social level,"

Thanks cynical lady for sharing this piece with us.

[sweet_gal]

I say hate all you want, speak ill you want, be cruel all you want but only remember that one day all that will come right back you're way. And that the soul of the one who actually takes on descrimination is damaged itself. You're a hater of you're own being, because everyone else is just like you. A someone body with a soul.........Why can't the world get that through to their skull.......

[Cindrella]

I though marrying a non-believer was considered crossing the line? I dont get somalis sometimes wallahi...

[Bess.]

Plz…I have yet to meet so many tolerant Somali people like u guys…it’s an easy and political correct thing to say…oh we should all marry a good Muslim person and their tribe or caste doesn’t matter…but I know for a fact that it does.

Its a sweet idea that we should be broadminded and not be prejudiced...but who is willing to go out and marry the so called lower caste people...and have their children suffer the consequences...?....

its a sad fact...but hey the truth hurts.

[winnie]

^^^the thing is, most of us are "broad minded" cause we live in the diaspora, and the qabil rules are watered down. we can afford to be brave cause we're oblivious to the real prejudice that occurs. over here, youll just have the nagging edo's and habaryaar's placing their disapproval , which im sure most of us have learned to disregard anyhow. the other somalis of our generation who grew up here in the "outside" world wont care if you marry a somali midgaan oryahyaar, or whatever.