Fake

[--e.]

"Fake"

e.m. monteiro

 

--for Abdifatah2, and Russell

 

It was the lipstick that did it, crusty cracked

red and you smelled it.

It was the fluorescent green lollypop, the illusion I created that I don’t smoke anymore.

 

I called it closure but you knew I was not trying to close it

knew I was trying to open a door

came to the meeting because you wanted to see how I would be and I was all

fake,

and you were all front,

and nothing is really clear,

nothing is loyal and true to what we said we would do.

I represent an evol/love monster in your mind

feeding off of the chump change I gave you to make ends meet.

 

(I can freestyle too, but you put me up against the wall homeboy, made me desperate inspiration.

I knelt in front of you and wanted to tell you how you paid me back every penny that you ever owed me,

I appreciate you:

oral contracts,

paper and ink,

life and soul).

 

You say you’ve been invited to 3 different parties by 3 different girls…

but I know nakedness decked out in your winter gear,

like you’re tryna trip at a party instead of chillin with your boys?

Please;

tell R&R I said hi.

**** you for playing this game;

Yeah, I’m fake

but not that fake.

 

The ½ black American, ½ black Somali, wants to know “w’sup, waryaa?â€

why he can’t be included in the testimonial

documentary

you are creating on video.

And what do I tell him?

You ain’t the right kind of refugee?

[Kulmiye]

talk all around me

i stare off into deep space

contemplating the things

of my past

looking for bright spots

amongst the torrents of darkness

i daydream of tomorrow

what joys my Creator

will bring my way

what lessons have i to learn

what blessings have i to receive

i think of my future

and smile

my path has been luminated

i can see the road ahead

there is only room for one

fear will not tag along for the ride

i will set off alone physically

accompanied only in spirit

by those who have tread

the path before me

a new day dawns

im ready

 

Rainy side

a snapshot of time

the story of a young girl told

the sole tear upon her cheek

weaving the tale

revealing dark secrets

and deep passion

known to none but her

the silence of it all

eerie, disturbing

her eyes speak

of dreams stolen

the crushing of her spirit

yet a slight crease

at the sides

of her painted lips

sign of hope

recovery renewal

she'll move on

all the same

carrying the strength

of her foremothers

she deals with

the burdens of life

and sheds them all in

that one tear

that only still life

could enshrine for all time

 

 

*not my best work but i had a sprak of inspiration so i went for it.