lulla Posted June 8, 2002 Hey how ya doin? what i don't understand is why we somali people think something is wrong expressing our feelings.I mean why do have hard expressing our feeling, i don't understand. It is like against our cultural? I mean where do we get the idea that showing our is wrong and weakness.I have the same habit most somali females have. I have hard time expressing my feelings and iam trying to overcome that but first i got understand where did we get the idea that if u express ur feeings, something is wrong with you? :confused: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrRomantic Posted June 8, 2002 Macaanto, I guess you haven't met the right men for you yet, because if you did, words would flow out in the proses of the chemical reaction. A true love has many wonders, I will tell ya! Lack of self-expression, means the following: -you are shy, logicly. -age has a majer facter aswell, when I was 13-16, I suffered from lack of self-expression, know 18yr almost 19, I am a pro-flurtter and can express my self and feelings and I can even get deep. -the way you where raised and enviroment can effect the way one expresses them selfs. Give it time, it will wear off! so good luck, and take care. I CAME AT LARGE AND LEFT MASIVE!, by PLEASE READ My Not So Funny{anti-somali woman)" joke! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ahlaan Posted June 9, 2002 Asalaamu Caleykum Waraxmatullaahi Wabarakaatuh!!! Hey sis, again nice topic and a difficult one to reply to without being personal. Expressing feelings to me goes around the table of all relationships not only the intimate one with your significant other. As a young child I grew up in the US and was always taught to use words as "thank you, please, I love you, welcome, and SORRY" but when I tried to translate that back home to Somali people thought I was weird for saying "mahadsanid, fadlan, waa ku jeclahay, soo dhowaaw, and raali ahaaw" I was always looked at funny by neighbors but my family was a bit modern and had traveled around the world to know where I was coming from. But as general Somalis, we are a RUDE people on OTHER standards but for us back home it's OK because we never realized any difference. So I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe it is a 'CULTURAL' thing, and it begins with the basics "thank you and please." That's all folks! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abdinuur Posted June 9, 2002 Ahlaan, I totally agree with your points. On the other hand, it's just something common in African culture period. People tend to show their emotions inwardly rather than outward, both men and women. Deep inside, they have feelings but tend not show it. For a man to show his emotions outwardly, people might see him as a weak man. So we African men tend to show our manly hood by not showing any emotions such as fondness and love or what not. However, nowadays, people are becoming more like the westerners, which I think women in general prefer, slowly but progressing. Read Ahlaan's response if I didn't make any sense to you. Much love. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
StarGazer Posted June 9, 2002 I agree with Ahlaan n' Abdinuur. In most American family from early on the child is encouraged at the dinner table to talk and express his/her concerns,issues, basically anything on their mind. This enables the child to vocalize his thoughts and hold a discussion. In Somali culture, maybe it is encouraged for a man to suppress his emotions b'coz it's seen as a weakness. For example, in America its not seen as weird for a groom to cry in the matrimonial ceremony. Don't expect a somali man to do the same!!! lol To sum it up, I believe its a cultural thing. ~*Ma'asalaama*~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
runawayvirgin Posted June 10, 2002 Awesome sistaz, me personally, I didn't have any probs expressing my feelings in what so ever..maybe because I was raised out of Somalia...but when it comes to someone somali it kinda everything tangles up and I tend to think is not appropriate!!! for a simple reason, one day I was talking about something really emotional to one of ma somali friends and she just laughed and said, "Adi isku xishood nooh!!!" for the 1st time I felt weird. she was my very 1st somali friend, and it happened again and again from her and others! I just felt like an outkast or something in somali community. I end up keeping my somali friends close to the heart but when it comes to any emotional things I go to my sis..just keep it in the family:)and that's it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
