Spike's Corner

[NGONGE]

JUMBO JET

by

Spike Milligan

 

 

I saw a little elephant standing in my garden,

I said 'You don't belong in here', he said 'I beg you pardon?',

I said 'This place is England, what are you doing here?',

He said 'Ah, then I must be lost' and then 'Oh dear, oh dear'.

 

'I should be back in Africa, on Saranghetti's Plain',

'Pray, where is the nearest station where I can catch a train?'.

He caught the bus to Finchley and then to Mincing lane,

And over the Embankment, where he got lost, again.

 

The police they put him in a cell, but it was far too small,

So they tied him to a lampost and he slept against the wall.

But as the policemen lay sleeping by the twinkling light of dawn,

The lampost and the wall were there, but the elephant was gone!

 

So if you see an elephant, in a Jumbo Jet,

You can be sure that Africa's, the place he's trying to get!

 

 

Source

[NGONGE]

The ABC

 

 

'Twas midnight in the schoolroom

And every desk was shut

When suddenly from the alphabet

Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"

 

Said A to B, "I don't like C;

His manners are a lack.

For all I ever see of C

Is a semi-circular back!"

 

"I disagree," said D to B,

"I've never found C so.

From where I stand he seems to be

An uncompleted O."

 

C was vexed, "I'm much perplexed,

You criticise my shape.

I'm made like that, to help spell Cat

And Cow and Cool and Cape."

 

"He's right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!"

Said G, "'Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!"

"You're dropping me," roared H to G.

"Don't do it please I pray."

 

"Out of my way," LL said to K.

"I'll make poor I look ILL."

To stop this stunt J stood in front,

And presto! ILL was JILL.

 

"U know," said V, "that W

Is twice the age of me.

For as a Roman V is five

I'm half as young as he."

 

X and Y yawned sleepily,

"Look at the time!" they said.

"Let's all get off to beddy byes."

They did, then "Z-z-z."

 

Spike Milligan

 

[checkmate]

Call me krazy....but i think spike milligan is saying with the elephant story that "black people" belong in africa NOT england.......tricky bizniz i tell ya

 

 

asxantu

[NGONGE]

Have A Nice Day

 

 

'Help, help, ' said a man. 'I'm drowning.'

'Hang on, ' said a man from the shore.

'Help, help, ' said the man. 'I'm not clowning.'

'Yes, I know, I heard you before.

Be patient dear man who is drowning,

You, see I've got a disease.

I'm waiting for a Doctor J. Browning.

So do be patient please.'

'How long, ' said the man who was drowning. 'Will it take for the Doc to arrive? '

'Not very long, ' said the man with the disease. 'Till then try staying alive.'

'Very well, ' said the man who was drowning. 'I'll try and stay afloat.

By reciting the poems of Browning

And other things he wrote.'

'Help, help, ' said the man with the disease, 'I suddenly feel quite ill.'

'Keep calm.' said the man who was drowning, ' Breathe deeply and lie quite still.'

'Oh dear, ' said the man with the awful disease. 'I think I'm going to die.'

'Farewell, ' said the man who was drowning.

Said the man with the disease, 'goodbye.'

So the man who was drowning, drownded

And the man with the disease past away.

But apart from that,

And a fire in my flat,

It's been a very nice day.

 

Spike Milligan

 

I’ll stop at three. Should you want to read more words of wisdom written by Spike either google his name or visit the site below.

 

By the way, dear old Spike has passed away. He died of some sort of illness at the age of 83.

He used to say that he would like his epitaph to be “ I told you I was illâ€.

 

Most of his words

[NGONGE]

Originally posted by SHOOBARO:

Call me krazy....but i think spike milligan is saying with the elephant story that "black people" belong in africa NOT england.......tricky bizniz i tell ya

 

 

asxantu

Heh. You might be right there. But, when he puts it so eloquently I can’t help but find it very amusing, saaxib.