Women should be educated but...

[Chocolate and Honey]

I was worried for no apparent reason! After all,there are obviously some matchs made in ehem..err..heaven. We have a man looking for a woman who cooks and cleans(doesnt really care whateva else she brings to the table)and a girl wanting to stay home and cook.Do I smell a wedding?

[Curly]

lol choc you've turned into a match maker now? I don't think it's such a good idea, imagine what their children would be like... lets not set back the Somali society further than it already has.

 

But since ngonge is questioning the gender or mz soup and CL the gender of Eng. maybe it's a better match than we initially thought.

[Kamaavi]

Hehehehe.

[ailamos]

I think both partners should engage in child-raising, being a parent doesn't mean only putting money on the table. A woman has every right to pursue a career and fulfill her ambitions just as much as a man and in order to raise a family both partners must find an amicable solution whereby both of them can raise the children AND work, of course this depends on the benefits the country you live in provides. For example in certain European countries, Germany, Austria and I think France for example, the parents can split the amount of family leave after the child is born... so the mother stays home the first year and receives a certain portion of her salary and then the father can switch with her for another few months and he receives a portion of his salary.

 

The matter of religion is a personal choice, I'm not particularly religious so it's not as much of a priority for me as is teaching them to become decent human beings.

[Curly]

Ailamos hear hear!

Just because a woman even chose a career regardless of the financial need shouldn't be seen as selfish either. Like the post about the 'woman's roles' I don't believe anyone should be born into a role...what kind of world is that?

 

And as Ailamos said it's about finding a solution that best suits everyone in the family.

[ElPunto]

Originally posted by Curly:

The reality is that many people can not afford to have only one household income whilst raising children, unless you're planning to marry a guy who comes from money or earns a salary to cover you all...(your odds are a little slim there)

 

Given that the large majority of us live in the western world we find ourselves in a position that we must work even without children. I'd love to stay at home with my child but the simple fact is you can't

I'm really not sure about this. Forty years ago before the advent of large numbers of women in the workforce most households were one income households and they managed successfully raising kids, owning their homes, taking vacations etc. I think what has changed is perceptions of what you 'need' to live comfortably. What is in fact a choice(since you can live on $50,000 just not as well as you could on $100,000) has morphed into a must.

[Jacpher]

^Many things have changed including the living standards and lifestyle. It's not perception but a reality the middle class is shrinking rapidly and with economic uncertainties, single income families are finding themselves at the losing edge.

 

On a serious note, it is ironic some ladies are depriving the poster of her choice and views in which they themselves accusing her of taking away from them.

[ElPunto]

^Living standards have gone up over time as they generally do in a growing economy. Your lifestyle, however, is something that is under your control. I have no firm opinions on this but I think this 'We must have 2 incomes to survive' is not altogether always accurate. Especially when you subtract the cost of childcare from one of the incomes.

[Oz]

To pass it on to their future children and help their guardian, Why NOT! I like it.

[Jacpher]

^^With the construction market almost lost, women make up the majority in today's workforce; education and health care for the first time. Luckily these two fields are increasingly in high demand which will drive hopefully more women to populate. For us, I sure hope we can balance well between work and family. And a second income will certainly not hurt but better the family.

 

Wouldn't you like to see a xalimo daycare provider, a xalimo bakery business, a xalimo pediatrician and a xalimo attorney.

[Curly]

Elpunto don't you think that our community has it hard enough? As Jacphar said times have changed and for a family to survive even without all the luxuries it's tough.

 

And besides why shouldn't a Somali child have the same things as everyone else why are we always limiting ourselves to what was and not looking at what we can achieve. Isn’t that what’s keeping us back?

 

I’m sure you’ve seen all the recent posts, Somalis are dominating the headlines for all the wrong reasons lately and not surprisingly it often boils down to the lack of employment. When are we going to start taking responsibility for our actions and why does it seem ok to bring children into this world when you have no means or way of supporting them ourselves?

 

Why are working morthers to be looked down upon just because they want more for their children? For them to attend the best schools or an Islamic school? (because that will even set you back some)

 

It’s funny isn’t it or should I say sad that it’s far more acceptable in our community for us to be on benefits, living in poor housing conditions and attending the worse schools...because lets face it, it’s all hand in hand. The minute someone wants a better life for their family they’re looked at as the ‘wanna be’ or the westerner and ultimately not religious enough some how.

 

Maybe in whatever country you live it's easier to get by with less but where I am you have two choices you either work or claim benefits...so why the hell would I do the latter when I'm an able bodied person?

 

BTW Jacphar I'm not depriving mz soup of her rights, I'm just informing her of what the reality is.

[Eng.Cadde]

Actually we are born into roles and we are expected to fill these roles otherwise we become failure.Ilah baan ka maqangalay.

I have a respect for any traditional lady who sacrifices to be with her children and ensures their safety,welfare and their pyschological upbringing.How ever,If a mother can both work and take care of her childs emotional upbringing that is should be Applaudable.

I am not Going to take sides on the Issue,But i would like to Throw some facts out there.

I think there is a high pressure on women to have children and marry because of Physiological reasons-The fertile age for females being 20-40.A very short time compared to males who can still play the games into their late 70s.

Anyways,If a lady sacrifices to be with her children provided the family enjoys aa decent living we shouldnt be critizing it but regard it as a personal choice.

 

But putting emphasis on career and totally forgetting your family isnt a good idea and if someone thinks so then they should try it and see it for themselves I would be more than happy to hear their stories.lol

Culturally,We somalis have this attitude of letting down women when they postpone marriage,A girl past 28 is looked down as an outcaste(Gumeys),I Dont condone it but sadly that is how the things are and I firmly believe no amount of enlightment can change that.

And the stories continues................

[5]

Yes, Curly. If you are wondering who on earth gave you 5 stars, that was moi. It was for your services to this thread

[Curly]

Originally posted by Eng.Cadde:

Actually we are born into roles and we are expected to fill these roles otherwise we become failure.Ilah baan ka maqangalay.

What! Allah gave us free will, people have the right to choose who they are, and who are you to take away god given privileges? And who exactly 'expects' us to fulfil these roles? I don’t know about you but I don’t live my life for others, I don’t suggest you do that either.

 

Anyways,If a lady sacrifices to be with her children provided the family enjoys aa decent living we shouldnt be critizing it but regard it as a personal choice.

But putting emphasis on career and totally forgetting your family isnt a good idea and if someone thinks so then they should try it and see it for themselves I would be more than happy to hear their stories.lol

Here’s where you’re mistaken, I'm not asking woman to choose one or the other, I’m just condoning the right to choose without being judged.

[Curly]

Originally posted by 2+2=5:

Yes, Curly. If you are wondering who on earth gave you 5 stars, that was moi. It was for your services to this thread

lol thanks! Someone's got to do it.