Marriage via Lottery...do you dare?

[The_Siren]

The Marriage Lottery….dare you fall into it face first?

 

 

I wonder, have any of you ladies or gentlemen ever considered the notion of marrying someone on the spare of the moment? Ie a rash decision in which you decide to allow the winds of fate to take its course and propel you into an adventure of a life time without any familial dirty tracing- sorry “investigative forewarning” what so ever?

 

By that I mean Imagine a lottery of love where you haven’t the slightest of clues as to whom your going to be married and never in fact are you allowed to lay eyes upon your partner till the fateful day of your wedding. Its sort of like a blind date only that this time it’s a deaf, dumb and deliciously blind marriage you’ll be stepping into.

 

The scenario is as follows; you along with thousands of other willing dare-devils will be assigned a number and thus a ball which will be placed in a large tumbling lottery machine (Curtsey of Camelot) and then completely out of chance a husband or wife will be chosen for you at random. Just to make matters a little more digestible however the organisers of this event will couple people in such a way that you will at the very least have a high probability of marrying someone who is relatively compatible with you. This will have been decided during the initial registering stage whereby prospects husbands and wives would have underwent a somewhat extensive psychological and personality profile. Further to this you’ll each also receive half a million pounds under the conditions of which you are to stay married and together as a couple for at least 10 years. The money must however be distributed fairly as a normally married couple would I.e you must share and invest in each others dreams equally and decide amongst yourselves how best to carry this all out. And just to sweeten the whole surreal deal everything from dresses to flowers to wedding invitations and food would have all been be prepared for you. All any of you need do is turn up to the event and say those binding words “I do”.

 

Thus I ask you this….would you have the guts to jump in heads first, eyes closed, heart hoping for the best? Or would you high tail it out of there clutching your maidenly soul to your chest spiting in disgust at the how the very idea of such a frivolous notion is a direct insult to the solemn institution of marriage!

 

Well, I was given this senario yesterday by my funny and very amusing neighbour and it got me thinking? Would I risk the chance to choose who to wed or would I have the balls to dash all reason and logic to the wind and seek my fate via a statistically unfavourable fate? Well seen as I though I’ve always left things of a tender nature to fate as I barely have enough human emotions to light a flint I didn’t hesitate in saying….Hell yes I‘d do it! What have I to lose? I’m rarely moved by the idea of marrying for “love” as I am incapable of such a thing so why not marry via proxy-to said-unnamed man? It would be interesting if nothing else.

 

So what if it gets awkward on our wedding night and I have this sweating stranger undressing me with eyes thinking he’s hit the jackpot(cause he has) and is wordlessly stealing towards our marriage bed silently begging me to participate in a night of how do I put this? *Starts singing* “ Strangers in the night” passion? Who am I but to deny him such a treat? Is it not after all my duty as a wife to lay down as though I were a dead fish? In any case I’m sure my most basest of human urges would kick in and thus shut off all good sense anyway.

 

I mean thinking about it and forgetting all the embarrassing blushes and hand flapping that is to ensue its a rather convenient and easy way to marry, plus its rather exciting in a crazed-self-harming way and most of all its rather dashing. It’s a challenge can I accept someone I hardly know as a husband? But most of all can I make it work? it’s the ultimate challenge. Sure its easier to marry someone you “love” but someone you might detest or be indifferent to?-now that’s rather arousing.

 

In any case I see no reason to scoff at what fate decides. Besides how well can you ever know the person whom you are to marry when both parties and their respective families are almost always going to be their best behaviour? Further to this one can only ever surmise the true nature of a character via the means of living together and seen as though culturally and Islamic ally this is seen as to be unacceptable (out of wedlock) I hardly think we’re missing out on anything but just skipping the preliminaries and just getting down to business as it were, forthwith

 

Some would call me a crazy and impetuous woman for even entertaining such an ludicrous idea as this but I’d prefer the term pseudo functioning eccentric. So lead on invisible husband of mine, I shall seek thee out-till the night bleeds all its secrets (or you bleed yours) and the stars melt from their very perches high above the cloudless heavens. Come hither I shall say to this faceless stranger and await garbed in exquisite silk, jewels and a radiant smile perfumed with a restless ease mirroring his own.

 

*Humbly bows at the waist* There but for the grace of god go I….and thus I shall allow destiny to carry me on wings of hope.

 

Come, come what says you? Who is with me? *Flashes a rakish grin*

 

Ps The half million is incentive enough and any teething problems shall be dealt with along the way like most things in life and thus marriages.

[Che -Guevara]

^For half million pounds over ten yrs......NO.

[The_Siren]

Che-for a bloke with a revolutionary nicname your unadventuress ileen.

 

Plus think of the interest that kind of money can rack up every month for ten years. HUH? *shock* Did I just say that? And on Ramadan? Oh woe is me (slaps herself)

 

In truth? I'd do it for free...just for kicks and just to see what would happen. I have a very curious imagination.

[Chocolate and Honey]

LOl! So when is the wedding? Invite me because I want to see the poor ehmem... lucky man.

[Paragon]

Perhaps it should be an offer to the 'curious lot' than to all the general public.

 

Then there are those were suffer from curiosity dilirium. I wont name names.

[chubacka]

Marriage is enough of a lottery, no thanks.

[Curly]

^^ My sentiments exactly, it's a pot luck regardless of how long you've known each other. I think the true test is nothing short of living together.

 

Just trust in Allah.

[The_Siren]

Mucho-Apologies for the lateness in my reply people-life kind of has the uncanny ability to drown one in its tenticles of unearthy hurdles.

 

Now that I am back...

 

Chocolatehoney- I am to meet my husband at 12-o-clock midnight on EID DAY. The balls of lottery fury will at last choose for me the man who will be spending is dreaded fate with moi...I'm rather looking forward to it. Would you be my bridesmaid?

 

Humble- What? And risk alienating loveable SOlers? Neigh...thats just not my style *grins*..Seems as though I've spooked them in anycase-that or they're keeping away from my sinfulself-lest I tempt them with evil. But what of you? You have not answered? ...what says you man?

 

Sue- Precisely which is why your letting a ball- ie Allah decide. LOL..So how about it?

 

Chubacka-very true, so whats the harm in putting all your eggs into one twisted basket of deathily fate? (nice to see your back by the way)

[Gordon Gekko]

I'm on a loss. Is this the latest euphemistic term for arranged marriage?

[Ibtisam]

Sue- Precisely which is why your letting

a ball- ie Allah decide.

LOL..So how about it?

Are you kidding me??

 

A ball- i.e. Allah decide :eek: I think you got things a little twisted dear.

 

What you are advocating for is chance/ random selection: the Arabs use to draw lots (straws or pebbles, dice, stones) that are thrown or drawn blindly in order to make a random decision. It is won by "luck"/ chance. This was outlawed by Islam and is considered as one of the smaller shriks.

[The_Siren]

^- LOL Must you take my phrases quite literally...I meant Allah in the sense that when you allow a ball to decide your fate its unpredictable much like the fate Allah has decided for us...and seen as though we don't know whats to happen on a day to day basis its rather the similar on that point.

 

Gordon...no, no its not an arranged Somali marraige as we know it because usually in those kinds of set up's one actually gets to see the bride/groom before hand along with their prospective families. You also get to have several key imformations about their roles what eachother do for a living etc. This would be a complete gamble.

[Curly]

Siren I think that's the whole "would you throw yourself into traffic" argument...Allah has given us free will giving that up is destructive at best.

 

You wouldn't marry the first man you laid your eyes on simply because you need some sort of filter, and I say this with certainty that this marriage lottery must have had some filtering process, be it the smallest of requirements, i.e. he must be male and have limbs (or not even that).

 

The course/ growth of a marriage maybe something only Allah knows but you can at least ensure that you have the basic requirements at the start. Like growing a plant, you choose what type of flower/plant seed you plant, where you plant in (is it in fertile land?), how often you water the plant etc...

 

However in the case of Somali men who in my opinion properly deviate from all logic, you might have brought an apple plant and landed a lemon tree instead.

[Chimera]

In Somali cuisine a 'Lemon' has a greater value than an 'Apple'.

 

btw Sue i signed you up for the lottery, may you land a cactus tree.

[The_Siren]

Sue- Ah...you make a good case but it all depends on the notion of freewill actually existing and judging by the fact that Allah knows and has written each of our destinys when we're in the womb I truly doubt we have much say in the matter. Allahs will and all that. If you say that we do have freewill and then go about stating that Allah simply "knows" and is not making me do certain things-despite writing that I shall prior to any decision making I can take...then how can I have freewill? I know, its because I am human and am therefore incapable of understanding that which is above my limited comprehension-that I can accept. However, if I set myself a basic limit such as two opposing statements of contradictory notions cannot lie together comfortably then it keeps it simple (Ie Allahs fate and my "choice"). Thus I am left with the conclusion that I can only try my best-keep it simple and just listen to Allah telling me that I have freewill within the Quran when we all know deep down-we're all puppets simply dancing to our own fates. Can I deal with being insignificant? Yes I can but thats why I don't actually put much validity into the notion of freewill anyway.

 

Then again...perhaps two contradictory notions each-facing backwards can jam together into a great mesh of "reason" to which I, a human, am not yet if ever will be capable of understanding such twisted logic? Eh *shrugs* Too much thinking LOL- And I have diverted considerably from my orginal purpose of the topic

 

In anycase- do I take it to mean that you personally would not risk it? which is fair enough I suppose. Not everyone has sociopathic/destruct ive tendencies.

 

*Waves to mortal combat* Long time no see..glad to see your well

[Blessed]

^We're not puppets dancing to our fate- that would imply that Allahs punishment of reward of us not just.

 

The Prophet (saw) summed up it's complexity in his advice to the Bedouin 'tie your camel and rely on Allah'. In another hadith which is relevant to this subject, a man asked him on how to best raise his unborn child islamically (the wive was already pregnant)- The Prophet (SAW) said - that his asking of the question was late - i.e choosing the right partner is the first step in planning for successful parenting.

 

Anyway, the issue of Qadr is a contentious issue with so much confusion surrounding it and I would suggest more reading around the subject.

 

I hope I don't come across as condescending, it's an area that I've struggled with myself and I'm still reading around it myself but I think that I'm finally on the right track. Would love to help you with book suggestions and links if you like.

 

 

As for do I dare- Girl, am the type of girl to check how clean his socks are a blind wedding baad ka hadalaysaa. Xaasha!