Good-Credit Posted May 9, 2005 Does any of you ladies know how hard it is for a single mother with kids to find a man who is willing to marry her? its hard enough for the single girls who passed their mid 20's to find a suitable husband now adays....therefore i dont blame that single mom for considering the dude's proposal. see if you want some, you have to give some.. in other words if you cant provide the man with kids, then let another woman do that..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ilhaan M. Posted May 9, 2005 Asc wr wb. Originally posted by Good-Credit: Does any of you ladies know how hard it is for a single mother with kids to find a man who is willing to marry her? .... i dont blame that single mom for considering the dude's proposal. Originally posted by Good-Credit: t..... Excuse me brother, but I strongly disagree with U on that. The fact is, that these days it's easy for single mothers to find a man who wants to mmarry then, but hard for the singlemothers to know their intention. I say that becouse, these days, singlemothers have a place of her own, financial independent and are maybe even a career women. there are some men who would see that as an opportunety as, sadly, many somali men are unemployed/chewing "qaad" and/or living on welfare. If they were to marry single girls, he can't afford to, so the singlemothers has this dillema to find out who means sencirelly when porposing. I don't think life is only about marrying and having kids. One is taking on a huge responsebility when marrying another. U r promising this other persons' happiness through Ur journey in life. If one is seeking/thinking of spending life with another in the future than the person U r marring now, they U r bound to fail. Beacouse time spendt together now will not have the same value as to when U know this person will be here with U 4ever insha Allah. My friend decided to let him go, she said no matter how much we love eachother, if I'm in doupt of accepting this now, it'll be harder and is bound to cause problems in the future. Also as Juxa said, the children are in the picture, so she felt as if she was being selfish and not putting them a nr 1 priority. I hope she finds happiness, becouse she really deserves it. I'm glad I have been there for her and been able to help her see the situation in different angles. Macakumsalaama. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xoogsade Posted May 9, 2005 I am always impressed with the honest guys who get married to a single mother with kids. They are true helpers aren't they? And I second Good-Credit, not many somali guys marry a single mother. At least those guys who haven't been married before wouldn't be so readily available for such marriages. There are selfish men out there who want exactly the housing and the easy income Ilhan talked about which is Trully disgusting. It is sad. Those single mothers should have thought about patience and perseverance, being there for their kids and trying to make things work instead of separation and divorce like all the somali mothers had done in the past for their kids when and if the father screwed up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Good-Credit Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by Xoogsade: I am always impressed with the honest guys who get married to a single mother with kids. They are true helpers aren't they? i am sorry man i have to disagree with you on that one, i think any man who marrys a single mother with kids who's father is alive and kicking is a stright up fool, i mean why the hell would you do another man's job and raise kids that are aint mine when i can have kids with a woman who dont have any?? if the kids are orphans then thats another issue. but raising the kids of some dude is not something i would do in this life time... one of my friends married a single mother with kids who's baby dady live few blocks away, when i asked him why he did that, he said he was helping her out!!! what a fool.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Janna Posted May 10, 2005 I reckon the guy wants a roof over his head! Someone to cook and clean for him. Ihaan, tell your "friend" to be aware of his motivates! Because I know a certain somebody that was placed in a the same situation as your "friend". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Janna Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by Good-Credit: he said he was helping her out!!! what a fool.... Indeed he is a fool! :eek: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted May 10, 2005 Hmmm...single mothers are at least contributing something to society. They are bringing up their children without anyone's help. I cant say the same for these 'helpful' single guys you are all talking about (like they are manna from the sky :rolleyes: ). What exactly are they contributing? Oh wait...of course...they will probably marry and produce some offsprings (woohoo), before eventually abandoning them to their mothers and buggering off to God knows where. :rolleyes: Even married women, who live with their husbands, are in effect single mothers these days, in that the fathers rarely take part in the practical upbringing of their children. He only comes home for food and sex. Good if you can get it, I suppose. This is not to say that there arent any good dads, there are plenty. Children are a blessing, and they provide more emotional support and unconditional love than a woman could ever get from a silly little man (dont bother with the 'sexual needs' argument, because those are easily suppressed, and there's no telling whether she would get them satisfied even if she were to marry again ). If she has kids (and is lucky enough not to be saddled with the demands of a 'husband'), she has everything she needs. I would be content with that, if I was her. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xoogsade Posted May 10, 2005 Phantasma, Your type can't do without a man. Ilaahey mid fiican hakuu sahlo lol. Pink-Phoenix. Assuming you are a girl, I find it weird that you are Anti-Single mothers. Good_Credit. What is so foolish about raising a child who is going to be a sibling to your own? You care about the woman, so you must care about her kid too, or else, you might as well not get involved with her I suppose. And btw, people travell to other continents to adopt and raise kids who are ethnically and religiously different, what about raising a somali kid who will love you trully if you raise them well? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted May 10, 2005 Phantasma, yea, you need "NIN". That is how I read your comments lol. Your type can't do without a man. Ilaahey mid fiican hakuu sahlo. LoL. I take it you also read 'No' as 'Yes'? Good to know that my *type* can't do without a man. Guess I'll just have to work that much harder on bucking the trend. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Janna Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by Xoogsade: Pink-Phoenix. Assuming you are a girl, I find it weird that you are Anti-Single mothers. Indeed I am! Having said that, it's not that I am against single mothers. I never said anything about single mothers. :rolleyes: But I do feel sorry for them especially the ones that ran away with their husbands at the time! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lol Posted May 10, 2005 I think if all she wants is a man, coz I am assuming her ex husband and the father of her children is alive which means the kids already do have a father in their lives, and doesn't have problems with sharing him coz he will definitely need a child someday... then am sure She will manage.. But one thing I don't understand is if she loves him sincerely than wat is more joyful than having the child of the man u love? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
