When your sis clubs and drinks?

[Abu-Salman]

Through Medias, "Studies", "Aid", and other interactions with Kuffars, even people at home (Somalia, Djibouti etc) have lost much of their Islamic identity and values.

 

Of course, staying in their countries is categorically forbidden unless one is propagating the Deen, and even then with strict conditions (Cilm, ability to resist temptations etc).

 

After exposing their double lifes and condemning them unequivocally, you should remind them of their obligations as well as the benefits and wisdoms behind our Shariah in every aspect (Social, Health, Economic etc); hence why we should learn our Deen and act as models ourselves to fulfill our Da'wah responsibility, after our mistakes.

 

As for the relatives, particularly the closest ones, you should force your sister to stay home and get a decent husband as soon as possible in the manner of respectable families; she can study the Deen with even relatively more neutral and objective subject such as sciences if she insists on it (at least that can be applied usefully and islamically and a SOL memeber in the medical Field usually recommends the Open University in the UK).

 

It is utterly unreasonable to release our youth into the Western jungle, especially at an age when ignorance of the Deen basics is so widespread and we are all more or less receptive to the prevailing degenerescence, when our instincts could be fulfilled productively without attracting Allah's wrath...

[Koora-Tuunshe]

It all depends on the background of those who gratuitously rush to transforming their modest ways of life. I have seen Somalis who were born in America yet wear Hijabs and practice their religion the way it is, and others who were just fresh off the boat but adopt wild lifestyles than the host society. The dichotomy between them is just too uniimaginable and makes you wonder that the poor and the uneducatedare the most vulnerable to fall prey to crazy lifestyle.

[Abu-Salman]

What does being "poor" or "uneducated" have to do with basic decency and self-respect, let alone morality?

 

Many lost souls in the West are relatively well-off and highly "educated", in the sense of collecting degrees, likewise for Ayaan Hersi and its lot.

 

In fact, acculturation is much more common among that "integrated" group, while being strongly correlated with cultural inferiority complexes!

 

The only real education is the one that at the very least emphasizes and nurtures personal self-restraint; that is waht matters...

[STOIC]

Money,

 

I know how you feel. It hurts to see family members do what is unacceptable culturally and religiously. I personally shudder and feel disgusted with what my own close family members do (believe me or not some even drink to sodden themselves), but there is little I can do since they all make their choice. And I know it’s hard to glue eyes and turn away willy-nilly without feeling guilt. I honestly believe that there is little you can do here than to talk to your cousins in a respectful and calm manner without creating a scene after all they will do as they please after you rebuke them harshly. You just have to learn how to get on with the rest of your life without burdening yourself .I understand you will be glum with shame when you see them again, but there is little you can do but to pray for them. I belief you are gifted with the insight to know when individuals are influenced by their surroundings. And I will warn you dare not to be the extreme one, but to be the cautious one who tries to help his cousins try to do the right thing here.

 

People act pretty much the same way they think is right to them, but hidden somewhere in their soul is a fully formed person who is reasonable and would listen when told things in a calm and respectful way without scrutinizing them hard. Approach them without belligerence and try to win there heart for it is Allah alone who can guide people to the right path.

[Geel_jire]

Money I understand what you are saying and I sympathize hopefully something will change.

 

They did not have the benefit of having adab beaten into them mercilessly by a dugsi quran teacher like some of us old timers but do your best regardless.

[Dhimbil]

Please do not yell, beat or embarrass them. You will only alienate them more with all that. Just talk to them and advice them on all the practical negatives that come with hard partying. They are adults and are less likely to listen to you if they don't trust you. Just stay persistent with your dawa and they will repent insha allah. Good luck.

[Miriam1]

It is important to get advice...but I must say I find it abit alarming that you reveal such intimate faults of members of your family on a public forum. Perhaps discretion is a good idea.

 

That aside...you need to start behaving like a BROTHER to your sister and I say tell your parents, if they are paying for her education it is important for them to know.

 

Good luck

[money]

Hayam, don't worry! no one will ever know my true identity and who I am. Money is as anonymous as one can be!

[LayZie G.]

I am no snitch and believe everyone is free to do whatever

No no no@money, waxaas aqli daro waaye. Waayo, you are infact a snitch iyo nus.

 

On the one hand, you can't start the conversation sounding all conflicted and sort, when in fact you knew exactly what it was you were trying to achieve by choosing to post fadeexada of your family members.

 

If you really wanted to come off as this concerned cousin , who is too cool to snitch on the girls to their parents, you wouldn't have chosen an open forum on the world wide web to publish the girls fadeexo.

 

Most imporatantly, you need to change the title of the thread.

 

Your cousins are not your sister. Your cousins are either ina habaryaashaa or ina adeer yaasha, not your sister.

 

Your sister, as far as you are concerned has not been seen drinking. No need to make the title of the thread about her. Qalad aad u weyn aa walaashaa ka gashay, and you need to apologize to her.

 

Why can't you be man enough and confront the girls or better yet, have their parents come down while you are all there and have a big old discussion?(that seems reasonable to do, soo maaha?)

 

Why choose an open forum to air their dirty laundry?

 

 

Lastly, I want to say that it seems that you wanted inaan anaga dadkaan kula cayno, why else post it here?

 

You want us to condemn them with you, soo maaha?

 

How do you feel now that you have gotten it out of your chest?

 

Brother money, you need to keep one thing in mind and that is, you are not "THE VICTIM" in this.

 

 

PS: I do not condone the action of the girls, in any shape or form.

[NGONGE]

Aaah! LST is replying to this topic. I seriously think the admin needs to setup a SOL Problem Section. Make mad Layzie the agony aunt and just watch her go berserk with her reading of each situation.

 

The rest of this topic, with respect, is stuff and nonsense.

 

ps

 

Dear Layzie,

My cat has not been home for two weeks. I am worried about him and think he may have fallen in love with someone else's she-cat.

 

I got this cat of mine when it was a mere kitten. I looked after it. I played with it. I fed it and I took it on regular trips to the Vet. Now my cat has abandoned me.

 

You spend a big part of your life looking after these cats but once they grow up they leave you without as much as a goodbye. Was it something I did? If I ever get another cat, should I do things differently? I mean I brought that cat up to be a good cat. I trained it to do its smelly stuff in the cat litter. But now, I bet it's digging into strange people's gardens and leaving all sorts of smelly deposits. Is there anything I can do to make my cat see sense and return to daddy?

 

With Love

 

A concerned cat-owner.

[Kool_Kat]

Miftaaxal-Jannah, magaca aaba idilay!!!Iyaah...LOOOOL

 

So we have 'good girls gone bad' situation miyaa?

 

Bal, let's put the girls aside for one quick second...Now MONEY, what I don't understand here is, it is one thing to see your cousins drink/smoke, but totally a different thing for you to watch them drink/smoke, take the time to learn the different names of the drinks (wedding cake anyone? ), or which drink has the most alcohol, or what they add to their shiisha, or what they call it and why...Waxaasoo dhan intaa kasoo dhageysatay, lasoo qasatay, didn't say anything at the time, and from what I am understanding you had fun on your trip there, you come here and ask for maxaa sameeyaa?

 

So I am like,

if they could make me do all of these bad habits in such a short time,

won't it be easy for them to influence my sis who be sharing apartment with them?

Noone can make you do anything you don't want to do...You did it all on your own...You enjoyed it...Move on...I say this cuz if you felt the opposite, this thread wouldn't have existed...May be you enjoyed it a bit too much and feel guilty about it? :confused:

 

You should have done what ever it is that you were suppose to do, as an older cousin/brother, while you were there...When you first saw them get the drinks, you should've said something...When you first saw them smoke the shiisha, you should have said something...Not now, and DEFINATELY NOT HERE!!!

 

Like you said, and it is probably the case, your sister isn't as clean as you might think...If she doesn't agree with what they do, she would have been elsewhere, and not living with them...The way I see it, if young guys/gals are away from home, have all the freedom they need, you can bet your life there would be some extra-curriculum activities going on in their lives...And usually, those who move away from home to go to school at another city/state/province, have more reasons behind their move than just school...I am not saying this is the case for everyone, but most are...

 

Talking to both your parents and your cousin's parents is the only answer...Tell them the truth and let them decide what it is they should do...I really don't think they can do anything about it, I mean if they allowed for their young daughters to move so far away from home and on their own, there isn't much they can do...It is not like the family can pick up and move there; or make their girls move back home and start school there...If they cut them off financially, as they say 'where there is a will, there is away'...Heck, if they wanted to, they could've done what ever it is they are doing while living right at home and the parents wouldn't know...Just the things these youngsters are capable of these days...It is the sad reality!

 

Good luck.

[Pujah]

LOOL money soomalida waxeey ugu wacdaa adigoo kale 'dayuus'

[Nephissa]

^ ahhaha. Generation keenii walaalkaa iska dayee, Somali oo Somali ma tahay markan aragno darbiyadaan ka boodi jirnay! Kuwanu indho adkaa.

 

I would suggest locking them in a room and giving them the biggest beating they have ever head maybe break a leg,

I'll echo the above words. .

[Castro]

Originally posted by Libaax-Sankataabte:

I am very sad to hear this. You should inform the parents as soon as possible. That is all you can do at this time.

Rubbish.

 

Originally posted by NGONGE:

The rest of this topic,

with respect

, is stuff and nonsense.

Right on.

 

P.S. Money, pay no attention to these righteously indignant boat people. You wouldn't happen to have the contact info of the two "college going female cousins" of yours, would you? I'm planning a trip to New York city next month.

[xiinfaniin]

^^Your seduction gestures are noted yaa Castro!

 

What better way is there though to mark the comeback of one of SOL's great personalities...