Thoughts and Ramblings of a Man on Vacation

[Xalimopatra]

"About wanting a Somali woman, my dear you shouldn't limit yourself...While it is good to keep your children in mind when choosing a partner, this is not about them...This is something you have to do for YOU, if she is good to you and loves you, she'll be good to them cuz they are your kids regardless...At the end of the day, you're the one who is sharing life with this woman...And the last thing on a kid's mind is 'omg, how would I adjust to my step-moms culture'...OR the fact that they wouldn't love their half (say) Asian brother/sister any less than they would love him/her had they been from a Somali mother..."

 

 

Ditto Kool Kat aka Bisad qabow.

 

Cadaan aslong as they have their mother then no need to worry about their daily dosage of Somali culture.Esepcially since they are girls.I say this as I dont want you to whistle years away limiting yourself when you could be with a amazing 'non Somali' Muslim sistah.I think you should perhaps move out of Calgary (only if the ex wife complies and brings the kids which is kinda difficult but try)...I say that because if there is a small Muslim presence in Calgary then it's better for all of you and most importantly for your girl's Iman when they get older to move to a city with a higher Muslim population.

[BOB]

Cadaan (I feel like a racist calling you that and in Africa they know that I'm not a racist but a darn Somalicist)...I'm not some one that you'd describe as a 'softie' but you had me reaching for my hankie there my brother from another mother who happens to be from Calgary...see I got a (bad) flu today just like you because I was walking in the rain more than I should have but other than that I'm OK alxamdulillaah...thanks for asking...!

 

 

Naah...you didn't think that I was going to say that I cried did you? Oh...thank god for that...

 

 

Back to the topic in hand...I'm not qualified to give an advice to any one and so are these people but they still insist on giving you one yet all they do is confuseyou as no two people gave you the same answer which proves my theory that these bilcaan and baraar don't know what the UNHCR they're talking about.

 

If I were you...I would very much try to return the favour by helping a non-muslim lady discover Islam and with Allah's will she may become a muslim and a good wife to you...imagine the kheyr in that my brother...now when you go back to your Kingdom of Calgary...If I were you I'd try to find friends that were close to me before you became a Muslim and share the treasure you've found...I'm sure they would love to hear what you've discovered...see where I'm going with this?

 

 

I can't advice you to marry any particular group as only Allah s.w knows who you're going to end up with and nobody can say with full conviction that so and so would make a good wife/husband but all we can do is follow our heart...trust Allah s.w and hope for the best the rest are irelivent...I wish you all the best Insha Allah.

 

 

PS. Sorry about my bad jokes...I was trying to get rid of my sneezes because I heard the ancinet Chinese believed that if you told a bad joke...the sneezes will stop.

 

 

Salam Aleikum W.W

 

 

Peace,Love & Unity.

[Buuxo]

Originally posted by Geel_jire:

^ I'm sure it was not your intension but

 

quote:

---

mid waalidkeed uu soo

duceeyn Amiin

is the exact opposite of what you meant ..

 

mid waalidkeed uu soo

duceeyeen

Amiin

i'm not usually picky about somali typo's ayeeyo but that would have been a habar for Cadaan

 

 

Cadaan hope it works out for you inshalaah !

yeah you are right, thanks for picking up on that ayeeyo, don't want to habaar wiilka.

 

YOu just reminded of riwaayad oo kuwoo guur lee rabay, waxeey daheen mid walidkoodna habaarey baan daamo walax la'aan

[Faarax-Brawn]

^speaking of habar, Habar you doing today?

[Baluug]

Actually Bob, all my old friends either think I'm an id*iot, or that I became a Muslim just for the sake of marrying her and that one day I'll eventually turn back to kufr, which I will never, ever do. Basically they're not trying to hear the haqq, and I won't waste my time with them anymore.

 

As for the "racist" tag, don't feel that way, because I even call myself that and I would never be offended by that term. But I think I may be a racist myself, because I honestly don;t like white girls. I'm white myself, and I think a relationship with another cadaan would be boring and they just doesn't appeal to me.

 

To everyone telling me not to limit myself to Somali girls, I appreciate the suggestion but I'd rather be single the rest of my life if I can't find a Somali woman.

[Pacifist]

Originally posted by Cadaan:

To everyone telling me not to limit myself to Somali girls, I appreciate the suggestion but I'd rather be single the rest of my life if I can't find a Somali woman.

Cadaan tell them Once you go Somali You never go back. Alway and forever Somali.

 

Inshallah Cadaan You will find a great Somali muslimah so don't despair dear Be Patient. Once she comes knocking on your calaf, it will all pay off. Patience

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

To everyone telling me not to limit myself to Somali girls, I appreciate the suggestion but I'd rather be single the rest of my life if I can't find a Somali woman.

I see that you've set an old individual goal of yours, and it is all good. To have a goal and pursuing it all focused.

 

Needless to say, I am not a one who usually likes to see our sisters marrying or going out with non-Soomaalis, nevertheless since I see you are that darn serious of finding a Soomaali sister and that since already your children are half-Soomaali, then you have every right to find your future mate in Soomaali community.

 

First, however, you need to expand your social {Soomaali} network. Living in Alberta severely reduces the {many} opportunies would there otherwise be available of seeing Soomaali sisters. I know you did write you don't want to leave your children in that province and that moving with your children to east is not visible option currently, nevertheless expanding your network is a good start. Give Toronto a visit, even for a brief sojourn. You will be amazed to see the opportunities that this city offers to your plight, it may even hasten your goal of hitching a Soomaali sister.

 

Another case Alberta lacks what Toronto has to offer is that most Soomaalis who move there are men who are seeking better employment prospects, and which has to do with oil-based economy; hence not many sisters move to there, and those who do are far and few and limited to large cities, particularly Edmonton, which you do not live at. Even Edmonton is better than Calgary when it comes to achieving your goal.

 

Secondly, you need to know one thing about our sisters and it is universal by sharing with other women in this world. It is this: Even if they like a guy and that man is suitable, they lilke to turn down or act like uninterested in the first meeting, even if you say "hi" to them. They like to point their noses up to the the sky, a la French-like. Don't be deterred or discouraged by this social trend of theirs.

 

Thirdly, try attending wherever and whenever Soomaalis gather, be it ruwaayado [i guess you already know this word], mixed weddings, community meetings, et cetera. I know Calgary cannot match with Toronto when it comes to those events, still try your best.

 

Fourthly, you need to act confident enough. Do not bring any divorce/children issue or how "eager" you are seeking to see a Soomaali sister. Do not bring any of those issues. Just be yourself, be confident enough and do not rush into anything, especially not that forbidden 'm' word -- marriage. Just be east at yourself and with her, even if she is acting that "uninterested mood" I mentioned in the second part.

 

Eventually or soon you will achieve your goal, just be patient. May Eebbe ease your goal -- aamiin.

[BOB]

Originally posted by Cadaan:

Actually Bob, all my old friends either think I'm an id*iot, or that I became a Muslim just for the sake of marrying her and that one day I'll eventually turn back to kufr, which I will never, ever do. Basically they're not trying to hear the haqq, and I won't waste my time with them anymore.

 

As for the "racist" tag, don't feel that way, because I even call myself that and I would never be offended by that term. But I think I may be a racist myself, because I honestly don;t like white girls. I'm white myself, and I think a relationship with another cadaan would be boring and they just doesn't appeal to me.

Salam Aleikum W.W

 

I fully understand your point my brother as there are many Somali guys that I know who wouldn't even look at a Somali girl let alone marrying one and there's nothing you can do but respect their decision and I'm sure there are many sisters out there who feel the same way.

 

I'm sorry I don't have a single sister, the 5 I've got are all married, however I honestly believe that you can find a Somali sister without ever needing to live in London or Toronto or Kismayo for that matter and like Jaceylbaro I'm not even going to suggest Somalia to you for obvious reasons but what you can do is go to the mosque or Masallah in Calgary and ask your local Imam for help because I know many non-somali brothers and sisters who got married that way...that's another option which you can take advantage of my brother.

 

I think its hard not only for you but for anybody to meet a decent girl on the street Somali or not like for example when you tried to approach those sisters the other day and you know what...the chances are they would've done the same thing to me as well which is understandable marka keep your head high and make du'ah and pray Istigharah and before you know it you will find a pious muslimah Insha Allah.

 

I wish you all the best Insha Allah my brother.

 

 

Salam Aleikum W.W

 

 

Peace, Love & Unity.

[Baashi]

There is no need to get worried about finding a Somali wife. They are a dime a dozen awoowe. Get away from Stampede country and go to Minneapolis or Colombus. Just make sure you have a contact, a job, and a positive attitude. You will be all set.

[Ducaysane]

Adeer baashe, Gabdhaha Ohio sidaas raqiis uma aha. gabdhuhu waa gabdhii dawlada ahaa.

[Baashi]

Awoowe addigu ma pimp baad tahay? Iyagguse ma iib baa?

 

Awoowe gabdhuhu waa guur doon.

[Ducaysane]

war waad ii gaftey waryaa....

[Baluug]

LOL don't worry Bob, I'm not asking for any family members you may know who are single, but I appreciate the thought.

 

Baashi, I know being in Calgary puts a real damper on my prospects, and I know I have to get out and make myself visible. That's why I'm going to Toronto for my next vacation insha Allah, probably in a couple of months.

[Hayat]

believe it or not, some somali guys and girls are having a hard time trying to get married the first time......

 

and you thought you had it bad

believe me if its decreed that you are going to get married it will happen, without you having to lift a finger, i mean that literally ........

 

be patient and make many duas.

[Xalimopatra]

Originally posted by Cadaan:

I honestly don;t like white girls. I'm white myself, and I think a relationship with another cadaan would be boring and they just doesn't appeal to me.[/QB]

Could this be what other Somali females think of you?Straight from the horses mouth, perhaps a relationship with a caucasian male is not exactly our definition of interesting either?...That is if you switch up what you wrote and apply it to you.

So really it's not about your children after all but really about your personal [albeit groundless & prejudiced] preference.Dont get me wrong you're entitled to choose who you want but to cut out a whole race [which you come from] and to generalise them like that is disgusting and downright racist, might I add unacceptable in Islam.

 

Sorry but I couldn't help but comment on such a hypocritical post.You've basically answered your own question.

 

You shouldn't limit yourself where Allah SWT hasn't.You should change your mentality and perhaps Allah SWT will bless you with a wonderful MUSLIM wife regardless of her race.

 

XPatra.