Thoughts and Ramblings of a Man on Vacation

[Abu-Salman]

First of all, your primary focus should be learning and improving your Deen Akhi, just like the rest of us who struggle with even the basic pillars such as respecting Salat times, while improving yourself and fulfilling your parental as well as other responsibilities.

 

Afterwards, "Education", if you mean getting a degree, is just another mean to an end and you do have a pretty decent English writing unlike many other "educated" people while you have managed to keep on working decently (unlike many Somali with Langage, Politics, Economics or other non vocational degrees).

 

Believe me, you seems already much better than most Somalis for all the reasons you should know by now, and though I still don't have any daughter, you should not consider yourself as facing more problems (yours seems typical, apart from the irrelevant fact you are not Somali) .

 

Also, why was your phone not working yesterday when I called you?

 

Even though your view of Somalis seems generalising and getting married simply to one of the cousins is not always the ideal panacea, I would have suggested you go to the local Masjid as other convert brothers from everywhere do, albeit you have to take into account your beloved children before moving (which inshallah will prove to be an invaluable asset for all of us and the Deen unlike many Somalis)...

[Nephissa]

Am I missing out on a lot of opportunities simply because I'm white?

It could be that there is just a lack of attraction y'know - IT'S THAT SIMPLE!

 

Every girl is so different yet similar. Somalis marry all kinds of different races lately [including non converts] so long as, they are attractive to them, have other things going for them and they go along well with each other. It doesn't boil down to racism or anything such as that.

 

I can understand that I'm not much of a catch at the moment, but I can change things for the most part. I'm quite heavy, but I can exercise and lose weight. I'm not rich, but I can save money. I don't have an education, but I can go back to school if I want.

WHOA! I don't mean to be rude but I think that justifies why you're out of luck with the Xaliimos. Heck, even a Somali brother would not have much luck. Well for one, when a Somali girl brings home a man..a Somali man, one of the first things she gets asked is: "what makes him any more suitable then the rest?" You can only imagine the double whammy an educated Halimo who brings home an average white dude like the one you described above to momma faces. Unless you can prove you're above all, I'm afraid there isn't much to showcase here. But I am curious like everyone else, why are you only interested in Somali women? What about other blacks, asian, middle eastern Muslims etc?

 

I'A brother, be confident in yourself. The right person will be attracted to you.

 

That's why I took so much time out on a rainy sunday afternoon to type down this post, meanwhile, waiting for my pizza.

[Ashkiro]

Very honest manshallah Cadaan. You recieved good advice by others! You mentioned why can't Somali people forgive you and that you need help. I usually don't pull out the religious card but this was honestly a very touching sincere personal post manshallah. Brother Cadaan, you don't need Somali people's forgiveness one, only the forgiveness of Allah SWT! Secondly, when you need help or feel down then seek help in Allah, return to Allah, cry to Allah sincerly and Allah will relief your strain inshallah that is a gurantee. Increase your du'a and your salat. Take care.

[Valenteenah.]

Hi Cadaan,

 

I think you are forgetting that everything happens at its own pace. You'll get married when it's meant to happen and not a minute before, so what's the rush? You are a young guy, enjoy your life, enjoy the rest of your twenties. Don't restrict yourself and never put yourself down.

 

Insha'Allah khayr.

[Haneefah]

Originally posted by Abu-Salman:

First of all, your primary focus should be learning and improving your Deen Akhi, just like the rest of us who struggle with even the basic pillars such as respecting Salat times, while improving yourself and fulfilling your parental as well as other responsibilities.

Allah ya'izak for highlighting that, that's precisely what came to mind after reading the post.

 

Cadaan, my brother, when it comes to matters of the dunya, the believer should always compare himself to those who are less fortunate but when it comes to matters of the deen, he shall compare himself to those who are superior. You are a strong, smart and capable man whom Allah has blessed. Allah has chosen you specifically among your peers for His guidance; He has enlightened you with the truth, now the onus is on you to become grateful for this favour by perfecting your deeds and embarking on a journey of pleasing He Who has bestowed His mercy upon you. This is not a light matter, brother. It's time for you to seriously reflect - being content with meeting the bare minimum is not an attribute of the grateful one. The grateful believer is the one who seeks excellence in all of his endeavours, never becomes satisfied with his current state, and who's forever seeking ways to enhance his imaan.

 

By Allah bro, when you discover the bigger picture and seek the path of Allah with sincerity, He will facilitate your path in this dunya with ease and provide for you in ways which you could have never anticipated. This is not wishful thinking, but rather the promise of Allah. Once you establish this connection, all else shall fall into place InshaAllah (including a good woman ).

 

PS: I haven't heard too many praises about the Calgary Somali community, so if I may, I urge you to change your social circle and seek the companionship of better Muslims who will assist you in perfecting yourself.

[Baluug]

I just wanted to clarify that I am not in looking for a wife in London, I'm only here on vacation and any established Somali woman living in London is never going to live in a wretched city like Calgary. While the SOL girls I have seen are very beautiful masha Allah, don't think that I'm trying to shukaansi you.

I'm simply looking for advice and insight.

 

To those who asked, I'm 29 and the reason why I'm looking for a Somali woman only, is because I only know Somalis. They are all I've ever known, since even before I became a Muslim. I am well-versed in Somali culture, and really nothing more. I don't know any Arabs, Pakistanis, south Asians, or any other people from other nationalities, save for one friend. My children are also half-Somali and they're going to have enough trouble growing up with a sort of identity crisis, being white in colour and Somali in culture, and I don't want to make it worse for them by having a stepmother from even another culture. Besides, when it al comes down to it, Somali women are by far some of the best-looking women in the world.

 

This thread was inspired by my thoughts and feelings in the early morning and the only thing I could think of was that I wanted an internet conection so I could at least get it off my chest and out in the open, and I feel a little better now having done so.

 

Thank you guys very much for your advice and constructive criticism, it's always appreciated. But the fact of the matter is tht while I may be young now, I'm not gettng any younger, and I'm tired of being alone. Patience is a virtue that I usually am good at, but I feel like my patience is wearing thin.

[NGONGE]

That's thee beauty of the internet, saaxib. You can let off steam and think aloud without many people knowing who you are or changing the way they react to you in real life. Well, apart from North of course. I have a sneaky feeling he's going to start making some phone calls and try to marry you off pronto.

 

I can't give you any advice here because I truly don't need you need any. A man that wakes up at 4.30 in the morning to think about how his life is going (whilst on vacation no less) does not need any advice at all. You seem to know what you want and how to get it, even if you're being all coy about it.

 

Ps

Pakistani girls are off the hook (as the kids would say). If you find yourself a pretty one, pass me the number of her sister.

[Fabregas]

People usually start thinking about life in the UK(for some reason or another). The effects of hanging around with faraxz in Edgeware road and other gatherings, I say!

 

 

Cadaan, Akhi, why limit yourself? I do understand how you are well acquainted with SOmalis, however, there are plenty of White-Women that convert to Islam every year, and some might be the perfect candidates for a good man like yourself!

[cynical lady]

Ps

Pakistani girls are off the hook (as the kids would say). If you find yourself a pretty one, pass me the number of her sister.

:rolleyes:

[NGONGE]

^^ What now?

[cynical lady]

Old men hold on to your slippers I didn’t say anything.

 

Selfish old man, the author is having problems with finding a wife; instead of helping him NO you’re placing an order for yourself.

[NGONGE]

^^ Baby, if I was really serious I would have asked him to deliver YOU to me in an oodkac (just to please Ms D&D) container.

 

 

Mcheza na tope humrukia.

[Ibtisam]

Waar say babe hortaa. Damn you is old

 

Lool @ CL

[cynical lady]

NG- say what..…ohh no you didn’t just go there(ghetto style)

 

Ibti- lol, hello dear

 

Ps, who the hell is teaching you Swahili old man?

[Oz]

Originally posted by Cadaan:

Besides, when it al comes down to it, Somali women are by far some of the best-looking women in the world.

Here, here. I totally agree with you. I remember debating the beauty that Somali girls are blessed with, manshallah. No other nationalities measure up to our ladies. I support your conquest for a second Somali wife. Hopefully, this one might treat you a bit better, seeing as some have bad attitudes. With patience you might meet a Somali girl with Allah's help as He rewards those who possess such a character. Good luck.