Is our Past our Future???

[lol]

I have been thinking, well you see everytime we meet someone we like and we hope to forget out past, the questions of when was the last time u been on a date? How long did it last? why did you break up? questions about the past never seem to end, and evertytime we think we have closed that chapter it seems to be reopened again by the next person...so am Thinking why we call it our past when its pretty much our present & future?

 

Do we even have a past?

[OG_Girl]

You are right Hibo.Past is not some thing we can close it and disapear just like that! We call it past cause we can do nothing about it to change it or to make it better. We pass that stage but will carry our memories with us but we don't live it any more!

 

Some of us can't move on from the past and still seems their past stop them to look their present or the future for reason or another. Maybe past wasn't that bright so we still scared to repeat itself.

 

Hope I make sense ..lol

 

Welcome back Hibo glad to see you around.

 

Salam

[dawoco]

To be quite honest sis, it is a bit of a grey area. I mean, although non of us are innocent as a new born babe, we shouldn't actually have a past. does that make sense? I know that dating has become a medium thru which to find a life mate, but whenever one relationship ends it means that you have to repeat the whole cycle and it adds to ur mileage and u reach a point when u have been around the block more often than you would have thought (the dating block that is).

 

So the more "failed relationships" one goes thru, the more ones history becomes shady and the less likely it becomes, in some cases, to have some succes. The reason those questions keep popping up are cos people no longer have the gaurantee of exclusivity with their chosen partner, so i guess they become paranoid and want to know everything that happened before they were in the picture. Or so i would think...But then again, with humans, who knows.

[Pujah]

Hibo we all have past whether we like it or not but there is a reason why its called past its there so we can learn from it and not repeat the same cycle...now you ask why the endless questions of why you broke up or what happened etc...i think we all ask those questions so we can find out who we are dealing with...cuz their past can tell you ALOT

[lol]

OG: its always a pleasure to see you hon. . and thnx girly... i have been around but just as a ghost....anyways... I agree with wat u said, that its called past coz we can't change it..but its as present as present itself...

 

Dawaco: Could be sis that the paranoia is there because they have committed some kind of a crime or nabsi and they just wanna make sure that they don't pay for the price thru u.. do u think that is another possibility?

 

Ay Kutubeey: Narrating one's past relationship doesn't say much about that person or how they r, rather as the dating goes the person will paint a saintly image of himself while making his partner a monster, if he is a nice guy then the most he will say is, it dind't work coz we couldn't understand each other.. now tell me how much does that tell u about the person...

 

if u ask me i think the whole questionaires on the past is nothing but interrogations and curiosity or maybe they ain't got nothing better to say so...

 

I wanna know why the guys do it? So boys answer me

[Wiilo]

Do we even have a past? of course we have, it seems that we cant pass through, we cant just forget it, we carry the memories of the past, sometimes it hunts us down, we ask all kinds of questions about the past, but move on.

 

so it is wat it is dear.....

 

 

Salaama Ka Dheh:............

[Valenteenah.]

Hibo,

 

You past is yours alone. Whether you choose to share it or not is entirely up to you. I know what you mean about being questioned incessantly (forget about potential beaus, even your local shopkeeper quizzes you these days. What's that all about horta?)...but you don't have to disclose anything unless you want to.

 

That's my take on the whole 'past' thing. And yeah, I know ppl will immediately assume you have something to hide if your not very fortcoming, but what do you care? It should be enough for you to know that you have nothing to hide.

 

So, No, I don't think our past is our future. I think its the past.

[Som@li]

Originally posted by Hibo:

if u ask me i think the whole questionaires on the past is nothing but interrogations and curiosity or maybe they ain't got nothing better to say so...

 

I wanna know why the guys do it? So boys answer me

I believe u can't hide ur past, and if u try to, it will come out one day and ruin all you have.

 

There is no "interrogations or curiosity" as you put it, but we are not new babies, we have apast, why not have the confidency to talk abt it,unless............

 

You are ur past and being honest abt it will make u succeed in your present,and future.

[Kool_Kat]

Our past is what makes our future...So if you plan to spend time with someone, it is only fair to know about their past...

 

Your past is basically your HISTORY...and everything in this world has a History...

[Legend of Zu]

If you ask me…you need to rephrase your questions or at least clarify what you seeking to know…coz I feel everyone is answerin a question you have already answered your self in this post… when I read your post I see that you have already answered the question that you cant shrug off your past…. Therefore establishin that your past is what makes your future….. However if I understood correctly, you are askin if opening up the past had any negative impact (e.g break ups) on one’s present (in this case relationships)… It seems to me what you questioning is not the past...it is the negative past, Am I correct? Or may be what you are askin is if we make our decisions based on past experiences why do we call the past experiences as “past†and not “present†or “future�

 

Damn..am over analysing again..aint I? Don’t mind me…

 

Cheers

[- Femme -]

Your past is just that--- yours. It isn't anyone else's business, no matter how close you are to each other, to delve into it if you feel uncomfortable or do not want to talk about it. There is no moral obligation whatsoever; and I don't understand people who readily supply information that is private or that can be used against them (for those who have something they feel ashamed in their past).

 

Yes, some people have a shadowy past---but people change. And therefore, there is no use in repeating a story that ending years ago. They should be allowed to go through that transition as smoothly as possible---without having to remind them constantly by relentless questions of what!Where!Whos!and Whys!? That chapter ended, so the book should be closed. What would another person gain from that kind of information? I say---tell them to shut the hell up and focus on the present.

[Passion_4_Fashion]

what I wanted to say has already been covered

[Nephissa]

Your past is just that--- yours. It isn't anyone else's business, no matter how close you are to each other, to delve into it if you feel uncomfortable or do not want to talk about it. There is no moral obligation whatsoever;

Nobody likes to be reminded and reprimanded for something that happened in the past. However; honesty is the key to a successful relationship its only fair to the other party if you laid your cards on the table. I personally would want to know that someone's past: was he a killer, has he ever been to jail, why did his previous relationship end, was he an abusive, all sorts of why's, and hows puts the mind to an ease and If his past is enough to end the relationship; better now then 2-3yrs down the road.

 

So, Yes we've moral obligation to know the past of someone we hope to marry and build a life with. Ultimately its our choice whether we accept the person for who they are now, or judge them based on their past. Atleast we know what we'r getting into.

[- Femme -]

LOL!I think you misunderstood what I was saying:

 

I have been thinking, well you see everytime we meet someone we like and we hope to forget out past, the questions of when was the last time u been on a date? How long did it last? why did you break up? questions about the past never seem to end,

I was refering to those kind of relationship questions. Those your thinking about are major issues that need to be addressed, definatley not swept under the rug.

[QUANTUM LEAP]

Sometimes, we like to live in the past. Regretting a past mistake. We will play it over and over in our mind, what we should have done, could have done or would have done. But it’s no use thinking the past can be the present as everything isn’t the same as the past. For example no two dates or loves can be the same. No individuals would have the same characteristic as that of the past. Everything new that happens obviously may bare a slight resemblance to the past but would not necessarily be the same. So when you say you live in the past when asked about it isn’t necessarily living in the past but rather thoughts of the past which don’t last long. One thing for sure is that the past can hold you back or be used as a milestone of what you want or not want the future to be. Good memories will obviously be held with you sometimes with such passion that you keep rewinding and comparing everything with it. Bad pasts can haunt the future and may wreck your life for good as you keep thinking of what is to happen to you would more less be the same hence always judging the future to be the past. This obviously will only hinder you and weigh you down. Don't hold on to the past, you can't change it and always look to live for today and tomorrow and not in the past. You are still not what you should be and should focus all your energies on living for the future. Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.