It is bad news, I am afraid! - VAL.

[NGONGE]

A project that I have been working on for the past five years is nearing failure and promising to royally let me down.

 

It all started on my wedding day. I vividly remember telling the Mrs that I am going to give her the best ten years of my life in return for allowing me to marry again at the expiration of those ten years. She, with all naivety and innocence, took my words for a joke and readily agreed.

 

I embarked on this project with vigour and total dedication. I set myself strict criteria for my future number two and many a woman failed the test. However, almost six years ago, I joined SOL. My eyes caught a few potentials who were the right age, had a sufficient amount of beauty, intelligence and looked like the kind of number two that would not cause too much fuss or turn one’s life into a living nightmare.

 

The princess of these potentials was a lady by the name of VAL. She was cool but sometimes slow on the uptake (which is a positive in my book by the way). She could take a joke. She had total control of her temper and, surprisingly enough, she was also pretty (in a clashing of colours sort of way but, luckily, her natural beauty still shone through).

 

I put all my efforts into wooing this lady and I think I succeeded. Or else, how can one explain her habit of appearing in almost every single thread of mine? Better still, how could we explain her rude replies, barbed comments and altogether unfriendly correspondence? It was, obviously, a cry for attention. She was up for the job of being my noble number two. She wanted to be my number two. However, being the young and trendy lady that she was, she was also influenced by the modern trends of rejecting second marriages.

 

This was ripping her soul apart. The thing that she wanted the most was also the thing that went against all her feminine ideas, contemporary traditions and precious feminine culture. She would disappear from SOL for months on end and hope that the distance will help her forget (it didn’t). She would return and spew out all her venom in my direction and hope that her rudeness will force me to respond in kind (I didn’t).

 

After years of fighting her emotions, the young lady gave up and decided that the only other option left open to her was to emigrate. If we are not in the same country (continent even), she reasoned, there is no chance of us ever getting married or betraying the principles of modern femininity. Other dark forces must have contrived to convince her that this is the best course of action. For in no time at all, she was out of the country and slumming it in a place that most impartial observers usually refer to as the bottom of Earth.

 

 

That was not the end of the matter however. Even when she was thousands of miles away from me, she would still stay up all night and post on SOL just so I would notice her and ask her to come back. I, obviously, was oblivious to the torment of this young lady and assumed that her absence was temporary (let her see the world, I said to myself). I had no idea as to the strength of her feelings. I did not know of the torture I was putting her through.

 

Then, the other day, she put all her cards on the table and confessed to someone asking for her hand in marriage. She did it in a frivolous way but I now can see what pain the poor girl was feeling when she typed those words. I can picture her heart (and fingers) bleeding as she tapped those words into her keyboard. THIS was an ultimatum. This was her way of saying ‘rescue me before I do something really silly’! This was Val on her knees.

 

I paid no attention to that sad S.O.S of hers and carried on as normal. My ten years are not over yet and my pursuit of Val was done in a relaxed and nonchalant way. How in the world was I to know she would go ahead and accept that offer? How in the world was I know that my five years of grooming and gentle preparation would go up in smoke in such a pathetic way?

 

I don’t want VAL anymore. She’s impulsive and hasty. AND with her running off to the bottom end of Earth she also gave hints of being spoilt and huffy. Val (or Barwaaqo as she likes to call herself – new beginnings and all that) is not for me and I am not for Val.

 

 

Therefore, I would like to take this opportunity to wish Val the best of luck in her upcoming marriage and hope that she gets all that she wishes for in life (but not me). May she become the best of wives, mothers and companions. May her curry never be soggy and her tea neither too sour nor too sweet. May he buy her a dishwasher, a brand new computer and a phone that allows for free international calls. May she become the envy of many and the friend of all. May all her potential number two rivals be the useless failure that she was and may she grow old and grey as the only number one.

 

A thousand mabrooks, dear.

 

 

Serenity, here I come. I only have six months before my ten years are over.

[Ibtisam]

Mabrook Val, Lucky man and half iga dhe!! Congrats and many years of happiness

 

*Ngonge you got there in the end, but change the thread title, no one will know it ends in congrats, I had to force myself to open it, I hate bad news!!.

[NGONGE]

^^ I think most of the boys will agree with the title of the thread. Ka bax adigu

[Ibtisam]

^^Come on, don't be silly, at least insert her name in their somehow. The boys were never good enough dhee, and give her a heartly warm congrats. Xasiid.com haa nooqonini eh

[Buuxo]

bahahaha Ngonge you & your caqli quraanyo amaze me.How did you figure it out,all from Troll? Amiin to your dua.

 

Val/Barwaaqo congrats abaayo.I wish you all the best on your wedding and may you both live to see a lifetime of happiness together ,Amiin.

[Che -Guevara]

Hambalyo!

[Castro]

Originally posted by *Ibtisam:

Mabrook Val, Lucky man and half iga dhe!! Congrats and many years of happyness

You should be so lucky.

 

Barwaaqo iyo nus. Val, I wish you a wonderful honeymoon, a blessed marriage and two girls with all their limbs and an I.Q. of 145, each.

 

Make that man* earn his gift.

 

* Before you sign on the dotted line and go off into the sunset, check his credit, any criminal background, judgments, liens, foreclosures, unpaid student loans, unpaid taxes, credit card balances, baby mamas on other continents, communicable diseases, mental issues in ancestors, etc...

[Kamaavi]

Aroos wacan, habo Val.

[Cara.]

Castro, what are you, CEO of Prenups 'R Us?

 

Ngonge, that was... really sweet and funny. I've got something in my eye...

 

Sweet Barwaaqo, we cajuusooyin of SOL always knew you would be the one to fold. Best wishes dear, and congrats to the undeserving bloke.

[Kool_Kat]

^Is this your way aad NG isugu soo sharaxoysid?

 

Ala muxuu carabkaan isku bogay? What in god's name would Val see in oday carab ah oo islaan iyo sadex caruur kadaba laalaadaan? Anaaba gowrici lahaa, AlShabaab style...

 

Val, congrats dear...Ilaahay ha'idinka dhigo kuwii isku waara, ubad kheyrqabana siiyo...Aamiin...

[Ducaysane]

Ifka hibo ku noolow aakhirana halkii roon.

[Chocolate and Honey]

It all started on my wedding day. I vividly remember telling the Mrs that I am going to give her the best ten years of my life in return for allowing me to marry again at the expiration of those ten years.

You wouldnt be even alive had you brought up such blasphemy on a wedding day, naga daa ciyaarta

[Paragon]

Aw guuryo, bash iyo barwaaqo, barwaaqo. Wiil iyo caano, gabar iyo caano. Waan kuu soo wardineynaa, Insha-Allahu, faataxadana waan ku dareynaa.

 

Alley lehe far iyo ciddideed baad ku baxsatay.

[Ms DD]

Mabrook Val. Wiil iyo caano, Gabar iyo malab.

 

A talo from your big sis:

 

Start as you mean to go on. No jixin jixin. I think all the married ladies know what I am talking about.

[Kool_Kat]

^I 2nd, 3rd, and 4th that...Afkaaga caano lagu qabay...

 

Jamaal, Bootada dhaaf, ilaa iyo 2005kii baad soo taagneedee...