Somali Muslim Matrimonials....The Divorce Rate..Solutions

[RendezVous]

Originally posted by Katrina:

^Dear Lily,

Who needs love? The true prerequists of marriages are qabiil, $$$ (or the deception of $$$), lack of integrity & morals, choosing a partner based on what he/she can do for them and always looking out for numuro uno!

Kat..I pity your stand walaashiis but I must contend that There is Love..(A mixture of Romance,care,kindness,humble,integrity, quality, quantity) within us like the rest of people.The only problem we have in somali societies(Peer groups) is communication..Our boys can't explain the Love they have or How love is consuming them..Then Our xaliimos don't manouvere ways to make everything possible for their patners and themselves..Communication is important to relations.Explain to your boy how you feel with/without him..Feel him..You Boys must also access xaliimos problems..help them out..love them..treat them with kindness..beautify them..The more you beautify your woman..the more she becomes a "Model"..Why should you look for another model.. and so on.Explain and help each other..See the difference it makes there and then.

 

Originally posted by Che-Guevara:

quote:Originally posted by Katrina:

When I see somali mothers and wives of 30-40yrs being kicked (literally) to the curbs for no other reason other than to bring in a younger model. I ask where is the

loyalty ?

 

What's love got to do, got to do with it?

It is a relationship....People bound to get hurt. That rings true in all cultures. Even in the so called civilised west, women still got the short end of the stick. We could change the culture that promotes these Somali ills, and change the dynamics of our relationships or look for answers in other cultures just to find same abusive relationships. Somali women should fight their righful place and they could start by raising their boys not as spoiled little brats, but as equals to their sisters. We should stop "War Jikada Ka bax" mentality.

 

Lily----Dats true....There is nothing without love and respect

While I agree with everything that you Nomads say..Few or No somalis "Kick" their women at 30/40 Bracket.I am not aspiring either!!But I still can't understand why I should "Chase" out my "Wife" , the one I love most and still got kids together to get a simple dimple sticky "Model" to have fun with.I am sure your xaliimo had fun with you before..when she was herself a "Model".She raised your kids together and still has retired with you..Is it a man's nature..Coz it is also prevalent in all societies not ONLY somalis..I think you understand the situation.Most somalis are romantic people but only to "Outsiders"..we should keep our spirits together and solve our issues..Love your xaliimo and viceversa..then see the difference it puts forward..

 

Rendezvous, wa iyaaki walal. And surely, you'll come around to agreeing with me more often...don't rush

I agree Ab..We somalis should love and respect one another.Be compact and shun Qabeel and sorts.We can only do that if we follow our religion..

[MR ORGILAQE]

You are all wasting your time here.It is either meant to last with Allah's will or Not.whe your allocated time together on Allah's book is up you will break up.so stop wasting your time

[Resistance]

^^^ Indeed you right only what Allah wills happens .. but still you prepare best and discussion on why it fails or suceeds is good preperation .. so keep it up .. am keeping one day on this ... yes Xaliimos what you post can determine whether u get that PM .. lool

 

waslaam

[RendezVous]

^^

Originally posted by MR ORGILAQE:

You are all wasting your time here.It is either meant to last with Allah's will or Not.whe your allocated time together on Allah's book is up you will break up.so stop wasting your time

well said though

 

^^^ Indeed you right only what Allah wills happens .. but still you prepare best and discussion on why it fails or suceeds is good preperation .. so keep it up

Love is nurtured by two consenting adult patners(In this case a FAARAX + a XALIIMO) who while knowing Allah has HIS will, still make it happen to retire together loving each other.Somali peers like ourselves should be at the forefront to spearhead this kind of campaign of solidifying our People.No qabeel shit..Only Love

[MR ORGILAQE]

i say submit to the will of Allah and beg Allah to make it last for you nothing else you do will matter in the end

[-Lily-]

lol@yahoo. We are eagerly checking every two seconds.

 

Well I don't really think we can compare ourselves with generations of old, since we have been raised in a different culture and nonetheless we have been influenced by it. Like Che says, cheating happens in every culture and whether we like it or not it is legitimized in ours by second marriages.

 

As long as I have what my parents have I don't think I have right to complain.

[RendezVous]

Originally posted by WaTerLily:

As long as I have what my parents have I don't think I have right to complain.

Kills...You need to get more than that Lily

[Resistance]

Maybe her folks are still at it like teenagers ..thats what it should it be a childs play .. lovers are those that can act silly around each other ..but serious when others around . Fun is my number one rule ..if its not there than wats the point in being with some1

 

Water Lilly .. am still undecided ..Water or Lilly wich deserves my attention.

[-Lily-]

Ehem, ehem, focus on the topic at hand boys. Not everything can be deducted to sex.

 

Yahoo, such a short attention span? Moving on swiftly...

[RendezVous]

WaTer+Lily:

 

Mind you, we are still finding ways to stop the high rate of divorce, single mothers and fathers in our somali societies..We got varieties of weblinks, The best link for Somali peers so far was this by the University of Alberta, Canada.

 

As said, we, the Somali youth, Single and married have the responsibility to make sure we try to unite our somali families, No qabeel, no clubbing, no wastage in the society,..We need to concentrate and be good parents.Our kids will always follow what we are.Hanoolaato somalinimo..Spread Our deen and Love one another.Nice and lovely Xaliimos should be taken care of..While our Romantic faaraxz should be also be respected and valued.

 

By doing this, I think we can reduce the level of deteroriation withing our societies.We need not see "Single mathees and fathees" Na'mean

 

welcome with other suggestions

[Resistance]

Water Who mentioned anything about sez ...gosh u on some hpyer 'i read between the lines thingy' today .. but must the lilly, it has natural things innii

[Mr.Faarax]

we, the Somali youth, Single and married have the responsibility to make sure we try to unite our somali families,

I can see the title now " RECONSTRUCTING THE SOMALI FAMILY"... nice on the tongue but hard to apply.

 

My opinion - It is a relationship, dont get into it if you cant relate! It is love dont start if you aint ready to invest time,and energy and last it is Marriage , you have to know what it is before you shake the sheik's hand.

 

enjoy your shaah

[Katrina]

Che-Guevara your post was so sweet and sincere I thought you accepted my offer until it sunk in. That was the sweetest rejection ever. What an oxymoron. Anywayz, I'm woman enough to still admit I like the way you think even with Castro STILL calling me a stalker. Che, I agree with you. One must first be what they want in a partner or anyone else for that matter.

 

Salaam

[Zafir]

Posted By The Rendez

Kat..I pity your stand walaashiis but I must contend that There is Love..(A mixture of Romance,care,kindness,humble,integrity, quality, quantity) within us like the rest of people.The only problem we have in somali societies(Peer groups) is communication..Our boys can't explain the Love they have or How love is consuming them..Then Our xaliimos don't manouvere ways to make everything possible for their patners and themselves..Communication is important to relations.Explain to your boy how you feel with/without him..Feel him..You Boys must also access xaliimos problems..help them out..love them..treat them with kindness..beautify them..The more you beautify your woman..the more she becomes a "Model"..Why should you look for another model.. and so on.Explain and help each other..See the difference it makes there and then

 

Love.Love.love. The truth be told bro, there is love, in most cases its there in the beginning and it fades, in some cases it comes and goes within a time frame of 5-6years, well give or take. In other cases it doesn’t exist and in rare extraordinary cases it lasts for a life time (winning the lottery kind a case).

 

But let me try to broaden your perspective dear bro, the factors that take affect day in and day out in happy homes are: Negotiations, compromising, prosponding your battles to future dates, Investment (time, money, children) Priorities, care, some kindness and the occasional romance (satisfies one’s needs).

 

Hope that helps All the unaware folks Who are fantasizing Perceptions.

[Mr.Faarax]

^^^lol did bush really say that quote?