Borrowing/Lending

[Nephissa]

I've always heard that borrowing/lending money is a surefire way to ruin a friendship. At first I didn't believe it, but I've recently learned it's true. What I can't figure out, is why does this happen? Why does borrowing/lending money tend to produce a rift among friends?

 

Right now I've got $83 lent out to my good gym buddy, $32 to another Haliimo and then $18.75 to another friend. I've had to cut off the 1st one until I at least see some money come back to me.

 

It not only applies with money, but material things too. Most of the time I have to ask repeatedly for something to get it back, and even then it's damaged. I lent some CD's to a friend and she lost 2 of them. Lent a DVD to another friend, and I had to pick it up myself, and even then it was covered with stain. Lent my vehicle to someone when they said they had to move a few things, and they put over 1,000 miles on it, and brought it back almost completely empty of gas! :mad:

 

I could list numerous more examples, but what I've now learned is to be really careful who I lend anything to, and that the people that promptly bring back what you lent them, and in good shape are in the minority.

[Johnny B]

Bisharo, you make a heck of a nice victim .

 

Somebody tip me where Bisharo lives, I need to borrow her life for few years, i swear i´ll bring it back when i´m done.

 

Bisharo , you need to learn to say NO, even if u don´t meant it , just to sift your good will to help out a freind,neighbour or an acquaintance from the readily present smooth abusive manners of people.

[Mowgli]

Alhumdullilah my friends don't ask to borrow money from me....if i lend someone money and they say I'll pay you back on X date and X day comes and goes....I feel bad saying to them hey do you have my money, for fear they'll say that they are still in a tight spot.

 

Obviously best friend(s) do not count...we never "borrow" from each other per se and it doesnt really help knowning each others pay day either.

[Mowgli]

PS Things never to lend include DVDs, books, notes and clothes.

 

Just before the summer, a friend of mine was like hey I'm sick and I'm not going home till a few more weeks, can I borrow some dvds? I was like sure ok...He helped himself to 99.98% of my dvd collections, i forgot about it because i went straight home after my exams...I come back and i'm like haye where's my stuff...I get opps (some in birmingham and some in france ). I'd notice from before I'd lend a dvd to my somali freidns...i won't see it back at all or it would be goen for a few mts. But the summer experience was enough to last a lifetime

[Ibtisam]

i think some people mean "can i have, instead of can you lend me" :rolleyes:

especially somalis.

 

that happens to me all the time. bishaaro, the worst happened to me in the summer, one friend borrowed my line rental (phone) for one month and run up £389, then said she will pay it, I waited for one month, the 2months, the phone company got pissed, and cut off my line and sent me a cancellation fee of £240. guess who ended up paying for it. ME and i aint seen her since :mad: First and last female somali friend ever, i promised my self. as for DVDs and CDs, clothes and hair dry/straighten etc, ppl never give them back, and i can't ask for it. :mad:

[Pucca]

:mad: i dont mind the borrowing much...my stuff usually comes back to in short time but darn it! if only half of my things came back the way they were instead of broken...

 

:mad:

[Medley of extemporanea]

Bishaaro, I feel your pain.

 

J B, it's not about saying no, it's about people keeping their word when they say they'll pay you back or return something. Why say no just for the sake of saying no? If you have something and can afford to let someone else use it for a limited time, , why say no?

 

What I hate is how when some people learn that your a 'yes' sayer, they come to you for everything they need and start acting like they have a right to your stuff and your time!

 

and there are people that never get asked for anything. It's my new years resolution to become on those people and maybe you should do the same Bishaaro

[Janna]

Bishaaro

 

I know exactly where you are coming from. I once lend my mobile phone to a friend, came back to me broken.

[underdog]

Here's a strategy...Lend small so that you never have to lend big.

 

Give them a DVD or $100 or a good sweater....and never ask for it again...UNTIL they come to borrow something else.

[Castro]

^ What about those you lend your heart to and they bring it back broken, if at all?

[Faheema.]

^^ I didn’t think you believed in such

 

Bishaarooy I am one of those victims. Lakiin my trouble is I Forget... If they don’t bring it back while it’s still fresh in my mind waa iloobaa .... As for DVD’s, CD’s and those little things iska ilow kuwaa, I lost count.

[Castro]

Originally posted by Fayrouz:

^^ I didn’t think you believed in such

I don't.

[nafta]

Lending Cd's, dvd'd and the like is no big deal to me, those things probably cost couple of quid and are easily replacable. Laakin money is another matter.

 

Never mind friends, what about your own family. I'm talking first cousins here. Those you expect to be the one's you can trust are the worst. They will F*CK you over in the worst possible way. Never EVER lend money even the smallest amount...shit now I'm swearing because of all the bad memories

 

storms off

[hodman]

waxaa bixisaa wax aad ka maarmi kartid and to get some people off my back I deliberately lend them something I know they won't return.That way all my other stuff is safe coz they won't ask for anything else unless it's one of those indha adayg ppl.

[Nephissa]

Sometimes $10-20 is a Small price to pay to get rid off moochers. And yeah, I agree - never loan more than you can afford to kiss goodbye.

 

Nafta: It could be a $1 or $1000 worth item. You borrow, you return it. You break it? you fix it, and still return it. Simple rule.

 

I Personally can not borrow money, I don't feel good owing stuff.

 

Somebody tip me where Bisharo lives, I need to borrow her life for few years, i swear i´ll bring it back when i´m done.

That I can not lend. Now lend me your ear while I call you a Sajaqaan. :mad: