finestsista2005 Posted April 30, 2003 Wazup people, I need your help. I am somali girl who fell over heels for for one particular somali guy so much that i gave myself to him. Our relationship was so new and now that he knows all about me I am afraid of loosing him. I know it was mistake for giving myself especailly he was my first. Now, he is acting really strange! Almost like he doesn't want to have serouse relationship just fooling around. Well he is the first person in my entire life i ever got so close to, i feel so much love for him at same time i don't want to push him away if i say it. I know he likes me too. There are so many girls before me who have given everything for him, how am how am i gonna prove to him i am different? How will i show him or let him know i want him for future? How will know make him realize....and most of all how could i save my heart from getting broken! thanx for reading.....pls only comments that don't hurt my feelings..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuCkY Posted April 30, 2003 Hello Firstlady, how are u? All i can sis is that i am not dr. phil (im not a love expert) or anything but what happened has happened there is no turning back and trying to change anything.Now i am not going to preach on you or whatnot but i think that he needs to realize how good he has it with you and appreciate you for who you are and you should not feel the need to compete with previous women-there is no use;they are history. Let him know that you want a serious relationship and not fool around-like you said you do.You are bound to fall in love with someone else(if allah wills)if he is not the one you were intended for,all im saying is he may not be in your future if you guys can not work something out.The only way that you can let him know that you want him in your future is to talk to him directly-communication is a key ingredient in any relationship.I mean you have to have similar goals in order to make it work-maybe he doesnt want or is not ready for what you want and the kind of committment that you need.And i am sorry to say this but i dont think there is any way that you can save your heart from experiencing heartache and misery-thats just life. But i want you to keep this in mind:even though right now you feel like he is the only one you want to spend your future life with-there might be others that come along who can be a lot better than him and love you for who you are. ***Where there is Love heartache is Inevitable*** Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG Moti Posted April 30, 2003 I usually dont come to this section just to avoid shocking posts, but it seems i came and what i am afread happen, i am shocked, do u mean giving urself to him making sex with him? oh boy oh boy if that is the case, forget it sis you made a lot of mistakes as following: Mistake 1. Are u not a muslim? a muslim is human he or she can make a mistake but god says if u did such a mistake and god covered u dont expose urself then u will be doing double sin.. mistake 2: giving urself does not show any love, it will only make the guy think u are easy and anyone can get it since he was able to get it... Mistake 3: what u were thinking? u helped losing him that is ur mistake 3 mistake 4: u still want him even thou he done it before and he dumped girls before who did the same thing u did, u are not different and u will never be.. I know i am not helping but maybe if i show u where did u do wrong then u might think it over and try to istaqfurulah and find a good guy u will have a problem in the future sister but i hope u will be ok.. i said that cause please check my survey in the somali community about Who u want your partner to be? or http://www.somaliaonline.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=6;t=001469;p=1 most somali men said they want a girl who never done it before... i wish u luck .. u are human and humans make mistakes please learn from it .. and move on he does not worth it peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet-Qalanjo Posted May 10, 2003 Hi firstlady how r u do sis. i know so much about love but i can only say to u don't throw u self at hime or give all ur self to him, because if u do that then he will break ur heart and walk away fm u. all i am saying is take it easy step by step and if he is da right peron for u then he will come up to u and tell u that ur da one he's been looking for. so sis good luck and allah is wit u sis, P's pary two salaads and ilaahay talada saaro Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shyhem Posted May 10, 2003 I think u should seek advice from u'r mother,afterall she is the only woman who knows whats good for you.Falling in love is not a sin,having a boyfriend is a different story. From u'r writings u seemed to be so fragile and vulnerable,i somehow felt sorry for you.i'm cautiosly optimistic that u will make the right decisions in the future. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted May 11, 2003 Gave yourself to him? In which way? Cuz, the way I interpret it was you had sex with him...In which case, you shouldn't have...And if he's acting strange, it's cuz he got what he wanted...He already had you girl... Guys usually don't like when a girl makes it easy for them, like you have here...You should have taken your time, and if he stuck around for a long while, then you would have known that he wants you, regardless of what you give him... Or probably he thinks since he already had you, that you give it up easily...And guys usually don't like a girl like that, cuz the way they see it is that you give it to anyone... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NASSRA Posted May 15, 2003 hey firstlady i just want to tell u that u are in trouble...and i definitely dont want to heart ur feelings...but from what i read it seems that u are extremely sad and emotional and i can tell that u have strong feelings for this guy...but what i didnt understand was that u said u gave ur self to him..NOW do u mean that u had sex with him or what is the deal cuz if so he played u gurl.....and u want know why he acting strange lately is cuz he had what he was looking for...am sorri to break it for u but cuz dont like gurls who are easy or the onces that give it easly.....they are into the onces that push them away and u know play hard to get....but i think is too late....but i hope u learn for ur mistakes because remember we are human...and human makes mistakes...and this was ur challenge and u failed but be carfull next time...their's always next time...ur NOT done...ur life goes on so make it what best of it.... one love Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NASSRA Posted May 15, 2003 hey firstlady i just want to tell u that u are in trouble...and i definitely dont want to heart ur feelings...but from what i read it seems that u are extremely sad and emotional and i can tell that u have strong feelings for this guy...but what i didnt understand was that u said u gave ur self to him..NOW do u mean that u had sex with him or what is the deal cuz if so he played u gurl.....and u wanna know why he acting strange lately is cuz he had what he was looking for...am sorri to break it for u but guys dont like gurls who are easy or the onces that give it easly.....they are into the onces that push them away and u know play hard to get....but i think is too late....but i hope u learn for ur mistakes because remember we are human...and human makes mistakes...and this was ur challenge and u failed but be carfull next time...their's always next time...ur NOT done...ur life goes on so make it what best of it.... one love Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted May 15, 2003 good luck girl,aamiin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ProudSista Posted May 26, 2003 HI lady Hold on I'll get back to ya hun! Moti, What is your problem? Mistake 1,2,3,...so how about counting your own mistakes for a change, you made your point now cut it out! :mad: No one is perfect lady,I guess we can't change the past, what has been done is done. So be careful in the future inshAllah, and may Allah ease your pain. I know how it feels to love & lose, it hurts like hell but sometimes we can't stop destiny! I see that you wonna save yourself from heartbrake, but if by chance he brakes your heart you can always come & cry on me aight! Be brave, and if you have faith y'll make it through InshAllah. I'll pray for ya! So/long ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MaLikah Posted June 25, 2003 lol OG..do you know anything about Islam? Uhm..I think SUICIDE rates higher on the SIN-LIST than sex. But hey-thats just me. FirstLady- girl, trust me, you can tell how much a brotha loves by whether he's willing to wait or not. But ish happens, all we can do is learn from our experiences. Just give the guy some space and show him that you know that you're worth being pursued and dont feel HE, of all people, should judge you for your actions, since it takes to "two to make a thing go right". Don't act pressed-its hard cuz love makes you act foolish at times-but be strong, and it'll work out at the end. And if it doesn't-it wasn't written in the book of fate. My Two Cents ---------------------- Money cant buy love, but it can get you a great bargaining position Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted June 25, 2003 dr phil! gimme a break! kill yourself!aha ah! sista this america jack! u play or u get played! period! unlike the small disney world of arabs, we mortal ppl in america fall in love whether is the right or the wrong reason! sista, if u lose him, pick your pieces and dont look back. thats his bad! believe me u will correct your problem next time get a better farah! and as far as sin goes! all u can do is ask 4 forgiveness! thy shall get it! as far as morals are concern, love has no morality at all but love is rather blind! all u can is be strong and honest at your end! if he was meant to be yours, he will be back. but dont purse with too much overdrive. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lovelycute Posted June 27, 2003 hi sis........ well what can i say, u'r not the frst one who been in love or done this so don't worry keep u'r head up and do u'r best to atract him if doesn't work then move on. and for the sex part if u done that well u shouldn't couse u know why ,(being muslim,what u'r mom said ,and for all the other reasons and sicknes,aids,std ,etc). adkayso calosha xiro and u'll find someone else who will treat u beter,he is not the only one or like they said there's a lot fishes in the sea, so take as much numbers as u can and be attentive and look around couse there's always some other guy. aight. make us proud sis and put u'r glases on ......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conscious Manipulation Posted June 28, 2003 asalaamu alaykum folks, awww guys c'mon! why do we have to be so harsh and judgemental. SubhanaAllah, we're all suceptible to the whispers of shaitain, granted some of us more than others, but it is by the mercy of Allah that we don't fall into the very same sin the sister fell into. FIrstlady: Dear sister, first of all know that no matter how big your sins are Allah will forgive you if you repent sincerely and vow never to repeat them. Second, break off the relationship for the sake of Allah, because if you stay with the brother shaitan will tempt you again to commit more haram with him. Besides if the brother treats you the way you said he does, then he isn't worth your time so drop him. Drop him like a hot bomb in downtown tel aviv! Sister, do not despair for it is iblees who despairs. Know that Allah has more mercy for His slave than a mother does for her child. The best of Muslims are not those who commit the least amount of sin but those who sin and then repent for their sins. Repent for the sins you've committed, get rid of the guy for the sake of Allah, and inshaAllah Allah will forgive you and reward you with someone SOO much better. Slap shaitan in the face and use this incident to bring you closer to Allah then you've ever been. Take care sis salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Siman Posted July 13, 2003 Well, the girl is seeking for advise not for critisims! Conscious Manipulation said it all and said it wisely. Alah said: "Udcuu Ilaa Sabiili Rabika bilxikmati wal mowcidati Xasanah" Meansing: "ugu yeer dadka Ala xagiisa si xikmad iyo wanaagleh" First of all the girl doesn't state clearly that she commit Sina so Why some of U making the assumptions she did? FirstLady if U indeed commit the sin, U still have chance to repent and remember Alah loves those who commit sin out of ignorance and repent to him. There are 3 requirments for proper repentance according to Xadiiska Nabiga: 1. In aad danbiga farakalabaxdo(joogiso) 2. In aad ka qoomamayso samayntiisa 3. In aadan dib danbe ugu noqon danbigaas Isha Alah will forgive U if U follow his diin. I also think U should stop seen this guy, if indeed U commit sina with him unless he himself repents to Alah and comes clean, otherwise he doesn't deserve! Who knows when U drop for Alah's sake, out of curiousity, he might start runing after U. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
