JASMIINE Posted August 19, 2004 Think that marriage and having kids is just another milestone in ur life. Something u have to do and want get over it as soon as possible, or at least having kids part. My girl friends and i were discussing marriage last night and they were stunned when i told them that "i dont think mariage was going to make me happier or any different just a person who has different responsibilities". So ladies is my idea of marriage something to frown upon? does anyone have similar attitude toward marriage. Getta go........ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Passion_4_Fashion Posted August 19, 2004 ^^I'll come back 4 this l8r Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCORPION_SISTA Posted August 19, 2004 loooooool people thought I made marriage sound bad...I don't know who old you are so i am not going to give up on ya..Your idea of marriage doesn't cause me to frown upon you but merely makes me pity you...Marriage is more than upgrade on your responsiblities list...Bee bye Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted August 20, 2004 jazmine,,,,marriage as of the name wont make you happy, its the person u are marrying that makes u happy. the commitment, the loyalty, the faithfulness. those are what completes you, what makes you a whole. once u enter into a good muslim marriage, u will wonder how u have lived without it ofcourse u must enter this holly institution with good faith. if u marry for silly reasons, it wont last. naftada ha kalifin, mid qofkalana ha kalifin, say tawakal calalah, and allah will guide you. dont ask me how i know all that Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted August 20, 2004 bravo Juxa. oh ooops this is question is only to the ladies. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted August 20, 2004 ^^^^^^^^^^^ i only repeated what u told me :confused: as i said before, dont ask Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Phoenix Posted August 20, 2004 Marriage is a choice. That's why you say "I do" not "I have to" (notice that this is an example. Please dont jump all over me and proclaim me to be a kaafir *jeez*) Since this is a thread that encourages us to share our personal views, I'll share mine. To me, marriage is not neccesarily a great thing. I agree with Jasmiine. Marriage is work, and is known to make you often more unhappy than you were before. Why else are the divorce rates so high, even amongst Somali households? And even if there is no divorce, no one can say to me that the majority of Somali marriages are happy, stable constitutions. In fact, a recent study showed that the two happiest groups of people are married men and single women, so what does that say? I've known people who never got married (and yes, I'm talking both Muslim and Somali people, so dont think I'm talking about any other race) and were perfectly happy with their life. Its a personal thing. No one can tell you whether marriage will make you happy. What if you marry on the advice of your parents/friends and end up miserable from age 20ish (since that seems to be the requisite age of getting married) 'till "death do you part" ? (again, only an example!!). That was my £2000 (a bit more than a twu-pence...lol) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rahima Posted August 20, 2004 As much I hate to hold this view, at times yes. Seldom do I come across people who portray a different view, one that actually makes me look forward to marriage. When such a miracle occurs and I begin to think that the grass on the other aside just might be greener, I encounter another sad case which tells me that I’m already grazing on the best grass possible. Funnily enough though, I don’t view children in the same way. I look so foreword to having children, but marriage is at the moment somewhat iffy (my view of it), but as they say you can’t put the cart before the horse (or something like that). So yes, right now I do hold the opinion that marriage is another milestone I must go through for the sake of life- but don’t hold me to that as I might change my mind in a few days when an uplifting married person comes my way . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JASMIINE Posted August 20, 2004 Thanks for the replays guys, am glad some of u gals hold the same view as i. but don't feel sorry for yourself and feel all lonely when you realize you made the wrong move. i never said i didnt want get married and have children. i just dont think mariage would suddently make me " a whole". Funnily enough though, I don’t view children in the same way. I look so foreword to having children, but marriage is at the moment somewhat iffy (my view of it), but as they say you can’t put the cart before the horse (or something like that). Rahima, u took the words right out of my mouth that's exactly the way i was feeling when i posted this thread once u enter into a good muslim marriage, u will wonder how u have lived without it Juxa, is this from personal experience or just ur imagination Since this is a thread that encourages us to share our personal views, I'll share mine. To me, marriage is not neccesarily a great thing. I agree with Jasmiine. Marriage is work, and is known to make you often more unhappy than you were before. Why else are the divorce rates so high, even amongst Somali households? And even if there is no divorce, no one can say to me that the majority of Somali marriages are happy, stable constitutions. afkaga caano lagu qabay, u read my mind. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jumatatu Posted August 20, 2004 Originally posted by juxa: once u enter into a good muslim marriage, u will wonder how u have lived without it Wow...wow..wowowo....! coming from the person who said that "men are waste" and so confidently asked whether men were Humans. Just a question of thought Juuxa, and who do u intend to share this sacred and good instutution with.? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xoogsade Posted August 20, 2004 You can be disappointed if you think of Marriage as something that will put to rest all your worries, problems and life's difficulties. It can be both pleasant(with hard work and a lot of patience) or the wrong decision you make for eternity. It is about Need. The need for the other is there always despite what people think of it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted August 20, 2004 cajaa ib, we made this marriage thing a complicated thing, for the ladies who have iffys about marriage, ilaahey ha idiin fududeeyo. i would say tawakul calalaah, and stop making things complicated both men and women. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pucca Posted August 20, 2004 get yourself boyfriends or something or live like a non? Both are xaaraam in the Islam. i know the boyfriend thing is xaraam but never gettin married is xaraam too??? ...plz post the hadeeth u got that from, cuz if thats true then that would make marriage something one "has' to do, rather than somethin one "wants' to do. ciao Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Serenity- Posted August 20, 2004 Actually Lady Amity, Islamically a marriage is considered as completing half of your "diin". Thats how highly regarded it is... not a must... just a really big part of being a muslim. Jasmine, I dont know how you can consider marriage an added responsibility and yet want to have kids...since the only responsibility in a marriage are the little fellaz . Personally, I like the idea of having a partner who is understanding and we easily get along. I figure I gotta live somewhere..whether with my parents and siblings, a girlfriend or alone.. so why not with some1 who's company I enjoy and makes my life easier and more meaningful? Its the idea of kids that just screams 'responsibility', and just like you - I cant picture myself being that responsible any time soon. There is a saying that goes 'the decision to have kids is momentous, its to have your heart go walking outside of your body all your life'... now thats mortifying! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jumatatu Posted August 20, 2004 ^^^am impressed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
