you wanna fight?

[dawoco]

I don't know about the rest of you, but the only kind of confrontation i know is talking straight and telling people what i think etc. The peaceful kind of confrontation as i call it.

 

There is a house guest from hell staying with us, more particularly, a cousin.

 

At first everything was going great, untill she started giving me attitude and "what you looking at" with the whole neck movements and all. This behaviour puzzled me. I am the youngst and was brought up to deal with matters the adult and polite way. I just couldn't understand the creature.

Then came the silent treatment. Still, she was guest at my house and my fave auntie's daughter. So i vacated my room, which she was sharing with me, to just give the confused one some space. It seemed that she didn't know the rules of civility which dictates that guests should behave accordingly no matter.

 

So now i am out of my room, getting silent treatment and being asked "you got a prob with me"?

 

By all means, i am no saint, nor a push over. But yet i find myself bound by rules of conduct, even if the other party isn't.

 

So the point of this tale, other than to complain and get sympathy , would be,,,,Did any of you ever face a situation where you had to choose between defending yourself by a big confrontation and acting civil and mature?

 

 

Where is the line between confrontation, and plain ol' daan daansi?

 

If the other person is rude, does it mean that you may be rude to them as well?

What do you do with a guest that bullies her host?

 

If only i had the experience of fighting with other girls in luuqa xaafada after dugsi, i'm sure i would be more than equipt to handle this

[Sincere]

Go to your local novelty store, buy some itching powder, and sprinkle some on her bedsheets..just kidding

 

In situations like that i refrain from any confrontations and remind myself that they are "guests" and their stay is temporary....if it was a permanent situation then drastic measures such as the above would be implemented.

[Reality Check]

I don't like confrontations, but if it comes to me, it's on.

 

 

I suggest you grab her snooty-a$$ by the ponytail and scratch up her face...er..or just ask her what the deal is? She is prolly testing how much of her bidchiness you are will to tolerate, so speak to her at once.

 

 

Or you can always just go with option number 1

[Tuujiye]

Kick her a$$....Timaha ka jiid, dhag ka qaniin,cinjiyeeso,dharka ka fiiq moos camal..ext.. let me know if you need more help after you do all of that.. :mad:

 

wareer badanaa..

[Khayr]

You ladies just proved why the 'B' word

fits SOME women so well. :rolleyes:

 

Vicious and Vindictive!!!

[Pacifist]

Dawoco

Remember she is your guest. Please don't act like her. Be better than her. And if i remember you said she is your cousin so family will always be there just ignore her and don't fight or say something. You are better off just forgetting this ordeal and take it easy at least its temporary. Inshallah sometime in her life she will remember how immature she was and maybe will thank you that you didn't stoop to her level

 

there goes my two kwachas

[Thinkerman]

Why my dear sister why dont you simple articulate your dis-satisfaction with her un-gratfull behaviour by composing one of your oh so delicious Poems.

 

I get a feeling that after bearing witness to your exemplry talent she will be left speechless and humbled.

 

That or it could further flame the fear, mistrust, and anger she's displaying towards you .

 

I would try to find another place to stay for the time being, that or take the evil path and prank her by placing some diana cram next to her bed as she sleeps with a note saying " This will help you lighten up "

[Saabir]

As I see you have been patient for long, what I would advise is to talk to her indirectly by talking of other stories that she can relate to what's happening between you two,if she fails to understand this hint, tell her still in a cool soft way without losing your temper that you are unhappy with the way she's behaving with u.

[SCORPION_SISTA]

First of all i think your actions made whatever was happening a big deal...Honestly if you didn't like her attitude when it started your first action should been by going to her and saying calmly and no attitude from your side "listen i have noticed you giving me the cold shoulder or these strange looks...We family and i don't understand the reason...Had i done something wrong or is there something bothering you?...Just tell me and we can handle it" if she doesn't tell you or continues with her bizzare attitude then you should have stayed in your room and ignored the looks and what not...But since it's tough for ya, then moving out to another room would be good...And then only speak to your cousin when it was necessary and always treat her respectfully regarldess of what she does...Your attitude should reflect who you are not who you dealing with...Although i know there are those that push us and if it comes to that just go outside and take some fresh air...Best of wishes with your issue...bee bye

[Juxa]

i simply think dawoco is over-reacting, she is unwilling to share, she is what we call anti-shuuci, and missed out the concept of sharing since she is the youngest.

 

its good experience for you, dawoco, to show pple come all sizes and shapes not to mention attitudes.

 

and NO before anyone suggested i will not share my humble abode with dawoco. dont even think about it qaxooti ma qaabilayo, face it like the fox u are

[sheherazade]

Do this . She'll wonder what u're up to and it saves u wasting any energy plotting a come-back. Make it a non-issue and she won't have anything to feed off from.

 

I remember a guest who stayed briefly with us and acted like a xayawaana- can't think of a better word . Bad manners ruffle my feathers. I was glad to see the back of her and somehow restrained from delivering a kick to her derriere as she left.

[Som@li]

Don't let anyone to walk all over you!!, and you made a big mistake for keepin queit and retreating by leaving ur own room. i advice you to always stand up for ur rights. there are many "DOQON" out there who don't understand favours, so don't gve them.

 

bye

[Valenteenah.]

Originally posted by Khayr:

You ladies just proved why the 'B' word

fits SOME women so well. :rolleyes:

 

Vicious and Vindictive!!!

And how much pleasure did you gain from this little outburst? :rolleyes:

 

Foxxy,

 

Much like you, I used to avoid confrontations like I avoid cooking dinner for the family. I was always the one giving in, going out of my way to calm the situation...etc etc. The problem with this is that always being the peaceful one does those around you a lot of good, BUT doesnt do ANYTHING for you, simply because your always the one repressing their emotions. Everyone needs to vent their anger.

 

My advice?

 

As you already did everything u could to get along with this gal, u now have one of two options...

 

1) Completely ignore her. Look thru her. As far as your concerned...she's not there and never was. Lets see how she likes it!

 

2) Everytime she acts up...you act up twice as much. Give her a long hard stare...then turn around and leave, kicking wateva is around and banging the door hard on ur way out...

 

LoL...not only will she get off ur case, but she will be offering to make you a cup of tea b4 too long. The best thing about it is you wont have to say a word to her...talking never does any good when ur dealing with unreasonable ppl.

 

I have gained a great deal of experience from living with super-difficult and sometimes psychotic ppl. Listen to Aunt Aeryn.

[NGONGE]

Your COUSIN is a guest in your house? Arr ma ana waalan mese cadan ba laga heesaya? Since when have Somali cousins been treated as guests?

 

As one of the brothers already said:

 

Timaha ka jiid, dhag ka qaniin,cinjiyeeso,dharka ka fiiq moos camal

If you’re not Somali, ignore all of that though. :rolleyes:

[Paragon]

'Hadaan lakala roonaan roob ma da'o'.