You ever been NAIVE about someone/The Opposite Sex

[Khayr]

Salaamz,

You know its been a yr. and half on SOL or so

and before then, I've had little contact with somalis on the net.

Anyways, my views of people have changed since then and its more realistic now and

qadra Allah Masha Fa'al I can see

things clearer as Bani Adam will always bee Bani Adam and won't change his nature/ways.

 

Anyways, have any of you nomads thought about someone or a group of people from the opposite sex or same sex and come to find out

that you were being TOO NICE/TOO NAIVE with them.

 

This usually happens, well at least for me,

when I run into another muslim/muslimah who

'CLAIMS' to be for the DEEN and guess what I find out........THEY AS MESSED UP AND EVEN MORE MESSED UP then the NONMUSLIM. :eek:

 

Anyways, pls share your experiences

it could be about a loved one too that u cared about and ignored their faults. e.g. Crush, Parents, Sisters, friends etc.

 

What would you do now differently now that

you know there 'TRUE COLORS', if u were to meet

someone SIMILIAR to them?

 

P.S. For those that are thinking NEGATIVELY about ME, do as you like, I'm at work and this was an interesting question that came to mind.

 

Fi Amanillah

[NGONGE]

Why would you need to change your ways with someone else though?

Do your great discoveries make any difference to the way you conduct yourself? Why?

It is an Internet forum, saaxib. What people write in here and how they write it cannot capture the entire essence of who they are and what they believe in. It is indeed words on a screen, nothing but mere words on a screen. As long as there is an ounce of doubt in your mind you might as well give people the benefit of that doubt.

 

As for meeting a new person who displayed the same characteristics of people I already dislike! I don’t really know what to say here, once bitten twice shy? This is a new individual and although he/she seems like all the others he/she still deserves to be heard and treated nicely until they show their “true colours�

 

I know you asked people not to think negatively about you, I can’t help it though. Luckily, the only negative thought I got when reading your post was that you worry too much. Not a bad thing if you ask me.

[SomeAlien]

everybodies got issues. muslim does not equate holiness, maybe you should give a muslim some lee-way as to how messed up htey can be. its kinda our duty to help one another excell in the after the life, not judge one another in this life.

[Bambina]

Salam Alaykum

 

Dear Khayr ,whether its in real life or the Internet , looks can be deceiving . I've had my share of bad experiences with lots of guys specially on the net (why would I converse with guys at the first place? ,lol) , even though it hurt , I learned to move on and do one thing : learn about my deen .

 

Life on this earth is merely just a test and now that Im wiser I learned to appreciate all the pain because it made me realize that I wanted to become a better muslimah.

 

Some of the so-called messed up muslims that I once critisized in the past became better muslims after , which shows you that you dont know what the future has in store for them .So always wish them good no matter what the circumstances.

 

I know its better to forgive rather than stay bitter , but I dont even know how to forgive the relatives that hurt me.Maybe one day Inshallah!

[Khayr]

Saxib, Ngonge,

u got too much time on your hand

Its not about anyone on SOL that I am talking about per say.

 

I worry too much, why not :confused:

READ Sura Al-ASR, and tell why not

 

But anyways,

back to the TOPIC.

 

In my experience, I would say that I was very naive into thinking 'TOO POSTIVELY' about

some people, well MUSLIMS and I don't

care if you wearing a HIJAB/NIQAAB, LONG AZZ BEARD

or not.

 

I really don't TRUST MUSLIMS.

:eek: :eek: :eek:

 

To those that might be Noddin' their Heads,

'WELL Muslim doesn't = Holyness'

 

My response-If you're MUSLIM, you're Game GOTTA BE TIGHTTTT ALL THE TIME. Meaning u should be a shinning example and yes, that includes getting into conflicts with others at times, why not, thats the Nature of the Dunyaaa and I don't mean be bitter or angry ALL THE TIME so don't give me that.

 

Anyways, am not bitter about anything right now

except maybe co-workers (who deserve a Tongue Lashing from Me once in a while! )

 

So lets get back to the TOPIC, people!

 

Fi Amanillah

[Thinkerman]

Well i dont think i have been anythin but Naive about the realities of tryin to interact (for want of a better word) with the opposite sex as you put it. I dont need to take a trip down memory lane, am still afflicted by my naivety :eek: .

[Alle-ubaahne]

As of now, she doesn't trust Muslims, period!

Therefore, she trusts everyone except Muslims. or She doesn't even trust no one because she felt distrust towards anyone. No, may be she is stereotyping everyone with the person whom she naively trusted because he was simply a Muslim. I wonder why she gave up because of one person's deceit! That is not good, indeed.

[Passion_4_Fashion]

^^^^si fiican baad u hadashay...(bravo caleek)

[dawoco]

I always hope for the best and count on the worst.

 

It is good to be trusting, as the actions of others will eventually come back to bite them.

 

Most of the time, though, i find myself quite cynical towards people. They present the face that they want u to see, and jst when u trust them their true colors will come out. I think that the best thing to do is stay honest and deal with people as they come.

[sheherazade]

Yes, I have been naive(for want of a better word) about people. I look back and see what I could have done differently but I am who I am and hind-sight counts for sh*t.

 

I have only good expectations from people. It comes naturally to me. I've tried to change my approach but since it's agianst my nature and belief I fail miserably. Expecting good from people encourages them to do you good too. It is a far healthier approach to being cynical.

 

Khayr, do not be harsh about us Muslims. Each of has a certain capability at any particular time in life. If u feel u are a shining example of a Muslim, yr presence alone will benefit those on a spiritual decline. Expecting perfection and a similar zeal from others will lead to disappointment. More importantly, only Allah knows the full truth of our heart's hidden treasure and disease.

 

I know I'd rather be 'naive' than a cold and distrusting cynic. The heart turns hard when u hold on to bitter memories and that's a spiritually dangerous place to be.

 

Oh and when all's said and done, I'm as fallible as the next gal. Bad experiences force me to evaluate my ways. As long as it isn't a self-destructive analysis, it can't be a bad thing, can it? When the anger and frustration fades, I'm left with the unavoidable- that my trust should only be with Allah. And from that I receive great comfort.......

 

Alxamdullilaah.

[Khayr]

Originally posted by sheherazade:

I know I'd rather be 'naive' than a cold and distrusting cynic. The heart turns hard when u hold on to bitter memories and that's a spiritually dangerous place to be.

Salaamz,

Do you know the 21st Century WORD

its called 'TOLERANCE'

So actually Naivetyyyy is the 'IN' thang

and we usually DON'T TOLERATE anything that

BOTHERS US (whether its GOOD OR NOT)

 

Anyways, point is as a Muslim, you should

be JUDGEMENTAL and be CYNICAL at times

for the Devil has many shades.

 

Fi Amanillah

[silent-sistah]

i dont know whats bothering everyone up in here...

this to me seems like a nice topic, a moment where i can remenice on all the wrong lanes i took in life and all the cows and dogs i met along the way.

 

i dont know--maybe i have changed alot in the past 3 years, before i was extremely religious i guess my circle of friends were more pious than they are now and they were not from my family-- so i didnt have to tolerate anything, i just went with the flow, got hurt moved on, got hurt moved on and so-on and so-forth.

 

till i changed my ways...hanged out with family members, practised the deen a bit less, went down-hill...and hmmmm, got hurt again.

 

seriously i dont think that any of me will ever change, when i meet a new friend or family member or workmate....i dont pre-judge them,,,,i let them make a mistake before i cut my ties with them. and usually i give them 3 mistakes before i cut them out my life completly family or not!

 

 

i dont think that its fair, for me to say because a few of my family members did me bad...i'll cut off ties with the rest..

 

nor is it right for me to say men are all *******ds, just because all the ones i know are let-downs.

 

 

i guess we are near the end of the world, one of the signs is the fact that u will meet so many bad people with black heart, and very few true muslims that have a pure heart.

 

 

im not saying that only the practising people have the pure hearts, because sometimes all a person lacks is guidance-but the heart is there and pure..

 

i say stay with the pious and religious people, and those willing and with intentions to practise the deen, and you will find a good freind/companion amongst them. but dont trust everyone u meet from the word go and dont get into personal stories..

 

a famous saying... KU SHEEKEYE, KA SHEEKEYE, HALA SHEEKAYSAN <----CUT TIES WITH PEOPLE WHO GOSSIP TO U ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. BECAUSE THEY WILL TALK ABOUT U BEHIND YOUR BACK. and what they say may not always be the truth, they add xawaash and basbaas to the story to make it sound better ...close your ears and walk away!

 

im talking tooo much and confusing maself so imma shut-up before i say something intellegent.

[Tuujiye]

a famous saying... KU SHEEKEYE, KA SHEEKEYE, HALA SHEEKAYSAN <----CUT TIES WITH PEOPLE WHO GOSSIP TO U ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. BECAUSE THEY WILL TALK ABOUT U BEHIND YOUR BACK. and what they say may not always be the truth, they add xawaash and basbaas to the story to make it sound better ...close your ears and walk away!

Very smart sis...Some times when you think of somali saying is amazing walaahi..

every thing you said their is true sis and thats how humans are...

 

Shimali Axmed shimali has a song that has this quete... " Kuusheekeya kaa sheekeeye kuwa sheeko sheegaa kaa sheego sheeko sheekadeenu ha ahaatu kuu sheekee..kaa sheekeye hala sheekeysaninee..shan faroole kaligaa sharuf ruuxa iga mudan"..lol and the song goes on..

 

Silent sis I just didn't agree with you on something sis and thats cutting off your family members..thats wrong.

 

If you have a family member oo balwad leh, oo qalbi xun, oo wili aad iyo aad aad u necbeysatay dhaqankooda, you still can't cut them off because waa cad adiga kaa mid ah abaayo..

You could only hate and cut off some one if they don't like Illahh (subxanalah) and his massenger. Calaakuli xaal we should not cut our family members off but hadaa dhaheysid wax kuma darsanaayi laakiin hadii ee wax i weydiistaan waan siinaa is different..Because those who give are kuwa ilaahey ugu jecel yahay.. be their for your family no matter what the case is; you just have to do your part..

 

wareer badanaa!!!!

[sheherazade]

Being on guard isn't the same as being judgemental and cynical. And what's wrong or modern about tolerance? Am I so perfect that I am without faults and idiosyncracies? No. And where will I be if those that have certain better characteristics refuse to associate with me and place themselves on a higher spiritual pedestal? The devil may have many shades but turning a heart black is one of his most insidious pursuits.

[silent-sistah]

FEEBARO,

 

true say i aint gone abandon those members ofma family that i cant stand in there time of need...

 

course ill help them in their time of need.....but i aint gone associate with them as though they were part of me.