The Day of the Condom

[Abtigiis]

The Day of the Condom

 

Ina Dhigane was worried that his wife was producing children like Xerox machine year after year, paying no attention to his advice and sometimes ultimatums. Despite taking her to Clinics for injection, bringing tablets by the load, it seems nothing was to deter Cosob from missing the red and from having cramps every now and then. He was convinced she is doing this purposefully so that her inner insecurities dissipate by way of a guarantee bond that comes in the form of tiny humans.

 

So he decided to take matters into his own hand and from now on it is he who has to make sure his products are in check. He was too timid to go and buy one, and after taking maximum care, he slipped into the men’s room at his office and hurriedly slipped one packet of condoms into his pocket.

 

As always he will have to go to his friends for a short ‘Qat’ session before going home. He reached there and the crowd was big. Some of the guys in the Majlis were close relatives of his wife. But he shouldn’t worry. After all, no one could read what is going on in his mind. He was in a relaxed mood before someone, a friend of sort, stood up and took out a mobile phone and an unexpected packet from the pocket of Ina-Dhigane’s coat that hung from a nail fixed to the wall over his head. Ina-Dhigane rushed to the man with force and disbelief to save himself from embarrassment; and to get hold of his lost possession. He shouted “war noo daa talafoonka...”, and lunged forwards.

 

Not before Sayid – the man they all hate for using the phones of others withour permission, shouted back. “War naga hoo bahalkan aad ku ooyeyso”, and threw all he held in his hands in front of the owner.

 

Disbelief! There it laid- the condom which had writing on it. I think it read Banana flavour. Hands rushed to mouths. Silence! Only five minutes before was he cursing some for procrastinating and for not praying the Casar prayers on time. Hypocrisy! God exposed the ungodly!

 

“You don’t understand” he started to explain. But everyone understood. He was seeing whores all this time he was pretending as a good Muslim.

 

Note:- This happened in Nairobi.

[Malika]

Al-Fadhexaa.com baa kaa dacee meshuu ..lol,the poor sod!

[Juxa]

i thought magaca dhigane was unique.

 

<<< leaves iyadoo baranooyo kusoo dagtay

[NGONGE]

Heh.

[nuune]

Astaqfurullaah

[Abtigiis]

His wife woke him up from deep sleep that afternoon. He really wanted to rest. But she insisted that he take her to her friend’s home as she had told them she is coming. When he tried to give reasons why she should make it another day, she told him that Aliya (her friend) called and said she is not feeling well. Of course, he knew that was a small lie, but there was no point in challenging it. She had already dressed up for the visit. He was about to do so. But, something led him elsewhere and he soon found himself on top of her. After they were done, she rushed to the bathroom and once again started preparing.

 

His time came and as he made to the bathroom, he recalled that the there was no electricity for most of the day and hence there will be no warm water. It was cold and cold is not something he dares to touch. He fears cold water. He was always surprised by the courage of fellow students in the boarding school who woke up early in the morning and took a cold shower. He once had a big problem after commenting whether some of the students’ skin is made of ‘a crocodile’s hide.

 

Ina-Dhigane faked he had cleaned himself and joined his wife for the visit. On the way, he got a message from the husband of Aliya, who asked him to come and join them in the mosque for Maqrib prayers after he drops his wife. This jeopardized a major plan. He was thinking either to skip the Maqrib or to sneak to the toilet of the hosts and wash himself properly, pretending he is taking a thorough Wayso. He decided not to do both but to drop the wife and go on to a nearby Café, and to later join the husband once he comes back to his home. Of course, the husband will not ask where he prayed the Maqrib. Maqrib has never been his favorite Salat. You cannot postpone it; you cannot pretend you have performed it a while ago.

 

He was driving out of Aliya’shouse, when Sheikh Cali-dhuux saw him. “I saw your car from distance and decided that we go for prayer together. Follow me”, he said. It was more of an order than a request. Ina-Dhigane followed and soon they were in the grand mosque.

 

Putting the cart before the horse is the idiom. He did a quick Wayso and started to join the Jamacaa, fully aware that his actions are not holy and that all his bowing will receive a massive ‘null and void” from the owner of the skies. His soul ached. He Pretended he was following Sheikh Cali-dhuux, quietly stepped back and run to the toilet of the Mosque. There, he feigned bleeding from the nose and later once all people go for the Salat, firmly remained ensconced in one tiny toilet flushing it again and again.

 

Until….

 

[Will Continue..]

[Jacaylbaro]

,,, Banana flavor ,,,

[MZanzi]

A&T Why do you always talk about condoms?

[Abtigiis]

......Until Sheikh Cali entered the toilet breathing heavily and in a deep shock. "Are you bleeding from the nose? He said and contintued, "health first, prayers will follow". He took him outside and asked him to look upwards and to rest for a while. In the meantime, he started talking on his phone. " Yes, bring me the plants (geedihii). They are the perfect antidote". Ina Dhigane started panicking. Mainly beacuse he is allergic to plants. "No, no, I am fine, shiekh", he said. "Alxamdu lilaah, let us pay our debts then", the Sheikh Said and pulled him inside.

[NGONGE]

^^ Prevention is better than cure!

 

Nothing seems to go right for Ina-Dhigane. Heh.

[Jacaylbaro]

looooooooooool ,,, waar ninka maxaa haysta

[The_Siren]

I don't mean to be fastidious but what precisely is the point of this thread and its exposé on horny hypocritical sheiks and their banana flavoured condoms?

 

Plus is it me or does this tale of immorality cast a cynical light on the not so popular god fearing kind the reer magaal types dislike so much? Not there’s anything wrong with reer magaals or the G.u.s-weyne sorry *clears her head* ..I mean "gadweyne" crew but me thinks there is a bit of unsportsmanlike knife stabbing at the expense of the real god fearing kind. Or maybe I'm being a tad too sensitive, I mean look at me..taking the side of holy molys? Who'd have ever thought it.

 

Still it would have been more amusing with details. Did you hear me? DETAILS. For example why did the Sheik choose banana flavour out of all the prospective flavours there are. I presume paya, passion fruit and mango flavour to be within the exotic range of Durex and being Somali I would have thought those particular flavours would have been more to his liking. Why not even watermelon? I often hear that its a black mans delicacy to indulge in such a fruit so why has this particular black man not? Boogles the mind I tell you.

[rudy-Diiriye]

Siren iyo sex waa kala ma marmaan! lol

abaayo when u in african, banana flav is a hit, u get it. Remember that.. lool.

 

Word is that ngonge brought couple of boxes when he was Hargeysa!! lool. He didnt tell us though that part of the story. boooooo lol.

[The_Siren]

^LOOOL Dhimo! And why am I not surprised that it was you who replied? I wasn't even dicussing sex but merely the equipment one uses. There is a very clear distinction between the two. (tries not to laugh)

 

Ps Is that so? Banana flavour is popular eh? More than likely in the south region of somalia though judging by how popular eating a banana with every meal is over there.

 

LMFAO- *runs the heck out of there before she's battered to death* Wallahi I'm kidding! Wallahi! *rofl*

[Goodir]

^To prove Rudy is wrong, waa car hadaad ka joogtid this very sexual topic. How do you say double dare in Somali?

 

Continue sxb. Banana flavorska bal yara sii kaxee.