Gents, is FGM a quality you look for in your prospective wife?

[Dhagax-Tuur]

A$$ All

 

Is FGM (gudniin) something you want your wife to have? If so, why?

 

I personally believe the reason why this bad habit continue to exist is the attitude of somali male towards women who are not mutilated.

 

Are we after decency or a stitched part of the female body?

 

And isn't it sort of insecurity on the part of us (men)?

 

 

Finally, it is not tradition, nor is it Islamic, so why keep doing it?

 

 

p.s. this occured to me whilst watching Newsnight programme on FGM where most of the subjects were somali women.

[x_quizit]

Geel Jire, if I may intrude upon this male only topic, and include my 2 pesos, thxs a bunch.

 

Believe it or not, I actually put majority of the blame on women, when it comes to FGM, as they are the ones that are providing the service, ie-the usually unclean midwife with the un-sterilized needles, and also are the ones, until today, most women i know are still standing staunchly by the barbaric practice. They believe that a daughter that's not circumcised will become "sex crazed", hence uncontrollable, bringing down the honor of their families.

 

That being said, I think that the idea of curbing a woman's sexuality vis a vis mutilating her body, may very well have come from men, in order to ensure that the woman comes to them in her marriage bed as pure as possible. But most men i know, including my father, were actually opposed to it, so im interested to see if any men in this day and age still proposes FGM.

 

Off course, Islam doesn't condone this practice and I'm quite encouraged to have heard that now some parts of somalia, djibouti, and the larger community as a whole, have banned it, although some may still do it in secret.

 

FGM, contrary to the beliefs it was founded on, doesn't actually curb or stop a woman from pre-marital sex, and in fact, stitched or not, pre-marital sex is rampant in somali societies. Therefore, it failed it objective. How about introducing Islam as a form of abstinence instead of resorting to FGM?

Just a thought.

 

Peace

[SomeAlien]

^^^its the women who do this as a living who promote it, instill fear in their sisters hearts, convincing them that not only will it be better for their daughters but that her dowry will be even higher if they are mutilated. i dont know, even the worst lies, propaganda have a grain of truth in them, so women eat this up.

[Macalin]

X-Q Said This:

That being said, I think that the idea of curbing a woman's sexuality vis a vis mutilating her body, may very well have come from men, in order to ensure that the woman comes to them in her marriage bed as pure as possible

.........

 

Mhhmm, Very Interesting Analysis....Mizz Xquizite,The Q he askd was i beleive if dudes care abt FGM'd Or Non-FGM!

 

Laakin,Sir GeelJire,When Looking for a Potential Mate,Dont You Look for comtemprary Stuff like Decency,Diin,Dabci,Dhaqan and to some extent Looks?,i Mean do u like go around and start asking.. 'Hey ShawtY is you FGM'd Or wot?' , i think not sir!...

 

Nonetheless am gonna answer Ur Q,and say It wouldnt matter,Since it wasnt her fault she was Mutilated!...Adios Muchacho!

[x_quizit]

Well, my dear lost nomad, i believe i said in the beginning of my post, i was gonna add my 2 cents and that i wasn't gonna answer the q for the men whether they oppose it or not. So next time, read all b4 jumping the gun.

 

Adios!

[Sakariye]

This might be out of the topic, but i thought I should share it with you. One day I tried to discuss this issue with my mom and other female relatives and the answer I get was "War maandhow ma shaqo kale ayaa weydey markaad Dumarka hoostooda maantoo dhan ka sheekaynayo, Ceebow baa lagu yiri".

 

Now my friend Geeljire, wzup man, why down there? just joking

[Macalin]

Well, my dear lost nomad, i believe i said in the beginning of my post, i was gonna add my 2 cents and that i wasn't gonna answer the q for the men whether they oppose it or not. So next time, read all b4 jumping the gun.

.............

 

And if I DONT? then WHAT? You WIll sue Me Parhaps for being hardheaded?

[Diaspora_Dude]

It's a myth that originated from the legend of liars and each generation is handing over to the next generation. The only way we can overcome this saga is by educating our peeps....

 

 

Piece

Love &

Unity

[x_quizit]

"And if I DONT? then WHAT? You WIll sue Me Parhaps for being hardheaded? "

 

Naw, suing u, considering ur a welfare pro, won't get me much, but shooting u, hm...dont tempt me..hehe..beware ..be veeeery scared :mad:

[pearl]

a little dirty history: a woman from the groom's side would be sent to check if girl is fgm or not. :eek:

[Qac Qaac]

akhas, a woman would check... if the girl... oh come on.

 

by the way pearl i know, in aad iska jeceshahay, i didn't say akhas to u, but to the act. so calm down.

[Tuujiye]

Pearl lol..labada naagood hadii isku fakdaan na'mean..lol

 

waraa geel jire sxb the sisters had no choice of the action so you can't judge them.

But if you have the right intentions, and want to go far with the sister perhaps merrige, you caould ask her or she would tell you because is something serious and it should be delt with and prepared for before getting merried.

I say before getting merried because the man has the choice of deciding weather he wants to mery the sister and he gets to see her not the private parts but the face and the physical form with cloth on of course. in a Islamic way i believe thats only if she is a practising muslim y'all know what I mean.

 

And pearl sis sending another female is not true because thats not Islamic because waan in ee gabdhaha coorada kala qarsadaan.

 

Any ways bro sisters didn't choose that and they shouldn't be seperated from the other ones na'mean..

 

I believe is the men foult and we have to treat it by not seprating the sister because of that sick reason...

 

treat them =....

 

 

waraa ii baashaala good topic reality $hit I like that.

[Narcissistic-Sister]

This is primitive act, and we as new generation should put it to halt this practice Its innovation that continue through out Africa's continent...it disgusted me uffey! Hopefully we will turn the tables around and have new way of circumcising our dhoocilas following Islam's way:D

 

<--Looking forward not circumcising her lovely pink addicted dhoocilas

 

Macsalamas

[7_steps_2_Heaven]

talow maxaan dhahaa... :confused: ... gudniinka sida aad badankiinna u sheegdeen ma aha wax diiniyed laakiinse waa wax jaahilnimo eh oo dhaqankeena hoos i maada. si hadaan u fiirinno runti lama dhihi karo ragga ama dumarka soomaaliyeed aa u sabab eh dhaqan xumadaas. Laakiin runta wexey ku jirtaa, iney raggeena badankood aamin san yihiin gabadha hadii ey gu'dan tahay iney wax yaalaha ceebta ku kaceynin guurka ka hor. balse umada soomaaliyeed waxa ey ka indhatirsan yihiin waxaa waaye, in uu gudniinka u keenaayo gabadha dhibaatooyyin badan. kuwaas oo kamid eh, caadadoo dhibta, dhalliinka oo ku adkaada iyo mid kaloo quseesa gabadha odigeeda (husband), taasoo eh iney meesha ka dhaceynin wax xaraarad eh. SOOMAALIYEY ha igu soo jeesanina waxa aan ku hadlaayo daraadeed, laakiin waxaan waa wax la hubo oo cilmi ah.

 

Su'aal baa meeshan ka dhalaneesa; hadii gudniinka uu dhibaato badan yahay, maan iska dhaafno? ma'aha su'aal fudud, wexey u baahan tahay baaritaan iyo waqti badan. waa in la ogaadaa waxa ku kallifaayo waalidka iney gabadhooda gudaan markaasna la isku dayo in la fahan siiyo gudniinka dhibaatooyinkiisa. sida aad u wada ogsoon tihiin ba dhaqan kaan wuxuu jiri jiray kumanaano sano, in hada la badalo aad buu u adak yahay. umana maleenaayo in ey soomaaliya weligeed iska joojin doonto gudniinka taasoo u sabab ah aqoonta caafimaadka oo dadkeena soomaaliyeed ku yar.

 

I hope u guys understoos my somali.

[raula]

Narc-sis..u are right, even following our religion-it's SUNNA & not compulsory.

X-quizit sis-you might put the blame on the ladies for CARRYING out the act-but its the MEN who ENFORCE & SUPPORT this horrandeous/barbaric act-especially the PHARAONIC TYPE-or Cliteriodectomy as we know it(friggin' SEXISTS & PATRIOCHIAL). An uncircumsized somali woman would receive scurrilous attacks-and worst of all RUIN her chances of getting to married to a

(B*****)/uneducated somali dude-if her parents do not perform the cruel act.

Mansha-allah, its our mothers that stand against this act-because they have been through it and are leaning on changing the "norms" that surround this act. The fathers' are really ignorant about this issue unless they are learned and educated about the consequences of such an act(whether its thru' formal/informal education-thru' religion-books,experiences etc).

How can it be changed=when men start condoning such barbaric acts by either preaching in Masjids, health centers, familial gatherings..because IT'S THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM-Jiini waxii keena bixiya.. Our mothers/gals can fight as long as it wants-but the noise is unheard compared to a man's power. (Plz, Iam not saying that females have less power or noise,but this is the case in a patriachial society).