Calling on Freestyle writers to write short stories here on sol

[Member-sol-]

hey guys i hope you like it but just to let you know i didnt write this story!!

 

One calm, cool, fall day. A father of three sons decides to take them for a hike in the HUGE woods behind their house. The mother (Paula) says that she would stay home and bake. After six hours of them not returning, she calls her neighbour to say she was going for a walk and that she wanted the neighbour (Lucy) to watch her house.... But nobody answered. So, she went looking in the woods yelling their names. No replies. After half an hour, Paula had finally reached a small creek.

 

 

 

In the middle of the creek were the father (Gordon) and the son (Curtis) stabbed in the heart, bloody and bruised. But, where was the youngest son (Dustin)? Paula, realizing the killer is probably still in the woods, runs to the closest exit and to her house.

 

 

 

She went over to Lucy's and told her the story, but to keep it secret. They agreed not to let it get out. The neighbour said she would help dig the graves and bury them. The next morning, the mother went straight to the woods. Lucy was on her way when she saw Dustin in the window, mouthing the words " I know it was you! " Lucy just went down to the woods.

 

 

 

After digging for a while Lucy said she would go get blankets to wrap the bodies in. After two hours of waiting, Paula went up to her house to see what was wrong. Frightened, she called the police. What she saw was devastating! Her sons decapitated body at the window holding his head, mouthing the word " Wait! "

 

 

 

The police had come and told Paula to get out of the house because many calls the police had been getting were from around this area about family members being murdered except for the mother.

 

 

 

Three months after this had occurred the police had captured Lucy to put her in jail. When she was being put in jail she mouthed the words " You would have been next!!!! "

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loool I like this story, brutal but funny, after all it's just a story, right!!!!

[Geel_jire]

^ to all the story tellers good work enjoyed the stories I personally don't have a creative bone in my body.

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How come the guys haven't contributed to this topic, even if not love, I am sure most of the guys here exprienced a form of an attachment or other!!!

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Hey J. Lee, I finally had a chance to read your story, and thought to comment on it...Hope it would be okay and helpful

 

First thing after I read it that came to mind, beside the grammatical errors as you mentioned, that your piece had a poetic quality...I thought it was a pleasant suprise...Down part of this story is, there is no shape to it...For example, there isn't a setting, it seems like its jumping from different scenes in one breath...I write about what I know and I am sure many writers start off that way...Probably your female character is in some way represents you or someone you know, therefore you felt comfortable with her...But you gave too much of her too soon meaning all her insecurities came right from the get go...We didn't get the other side of her, the one to make us feel compassion toward her...Finally the feelings or the thoughts of the character ran together, at times it took me a second to figure out it was her vs. him having those thoughts...I hope I did make sense in some way to help or not offend...Take care, bee bye

 

And if you feel like it, let me know what you think about my pieces!!!Even steven, right