What should the legal age for marriage be?

[Caano Geel]

i'll let xkcd answer this one.

 

[Khalaf]

Originally posted by Dabshid:

Adeer ma caruur baad rabtaa in aad curdan dhadhisid? waa kusidee? Bal maxaa kuu geeyey ilmaha 14 jirka ah.

War ninyahow, kaleey aayada odaygaan duuq ah ka ciiilli, hadeey ii raabto bal yaa ii diidikaro?. Hahahaha jks istagfrullah........ Caqli xuumidida duuqa.

 

Shuuuuuuush @keyf, ina abti don’t give away my secret plans.

 

On a serious note, the point of the topic was to make us think, and this is what I was interested in. I don’t consider it acceptable, impossible for me to consider it acceptable, I consider it abuse in todays context........but the question is why we see it as unacceptable, and ppl hundreds of years ago ie Prophet scw with Aisha ra didn’t or even ppl today in third world countries including somalia see it okey. What changed? May Allah forgive me, i didn't want to bring the nabi scw/aisha ra lakiin this is example used.

 

Which leads us to Nepthhys comment:?

 

Originally posted by Nephthys:

This isn't back about 100+years ago, that what we consider to be kids now..

What changed? Other then our present culture and our thinking? Is there proof that children back then were/are different then children now? What do u think?

 

Originally posted by Ghanima:

Age:

when the person feels ready and wants to get married and they find someone who also feels ready and wants to marry them.

[/QB]

So in ur opinion, if teen wanted to marry old dude and both feel ready and consent, it would be all good? Here’s picture , say they consented, instead of dicates of culture...what do u think?

 

Khayr: If someone could post why the age of say 18 or 16 become the standard marker for Adultood, please do share.

This is was the point of my post, what makes 18 adult, and how has this shaped our minds, and how it relates to islam saying ppl are adults after puberty? Ppl here are even saying marriage shouldn't happen until person is 22.....so its about the culture context. yesterday in our converstation, it started because gaber aan naqaano, young girl married cat older then her pops...yaab..but she is very much devloped istagfrullah

 

peace out

[Nephissa]

Originally posted by Khayr:

quote:Originally posted by Nephthys:

[qb]

quote:

---

But then whose to decide legal age for marriage, if religion says its okey?

The parent. It's ridiculous that we even need a legal age to tell people [

men

] to stay off 14 year olds. Children need to remain children as long as possible. This isn't back about 100+years ago, that what we consider to be kids now.. 13-15 year olds, were married off by the time they were 13 playing gariir or someother kids' game. Marrying children off and calling it OK, due to culture, religion, whatever have you, IS plain WRONG! To take advantage of little girls, is WRONG.

 

Interresting how things change and then some times, go back to old ways.

Wrong on what level?

 

Biologically, they have hit puberity and as we all know-puberity is the turning point in one's life from childhood to adulthood. In the deen, once you become balagih, your sins become recorded and the grace period experies.

The average age for girls to baaliq used to be 12-14. Lots of girls now days are getting their periods at 9-11 years of age. Each generation bringing it down younger and younger. With that being said, let me ask you a q. In your heart of hearts kheyroow, is a 9year old, a 4th grader who hit puberty way to early, a WOMAN? And my follow up q: Would you marry her?

 

PS: No Qur'an and Hadith qouting please.

 

Khalaf wrote:

What changed? Other then our present culture and our thinking? Is there proof that children back then were/are different then children now? What do u think?

Those days girls were really taking up large responsibilties from a very young age, [herding camels, cows, fighting lions and such. Bet you can't even do that at 21 ] Today's teens boys and girls alike, do not display the maturity of most 6yr olds back in 100+years ago, let alone their age group of 13-18. Wax la is bar bar dhigi karoo maba aha, soo maad garan?

[Resistance]

Wheather a person, women/men, is ready for marriage cannot be determined by their age but rather by their state of mind and maturity level.

So if a 14 a year old, can make a sound judgement of what she wants and is doing it for right the reasons then why set an age limit on when she can get hitched in the 1st place.

I understand why so many of u guys maybe appalled at the idea of a 14 year old getting married but your thinking on this matter is being determined by the corrupt culture within our community, whereby young girls are married off to much older men mainly for financial reasons.

 

But logic says that as soon as girl has her 'monthly thingy' then phycially she is ready and the next step should if she is ready mentally and that will be on a case by case circumstances. They maybe instances wherby a 14 year old is far more mature than a 25 year old women.

[Cara.]

So in ur opinion, if teen wanted to marry old dude and both feel ready and consent, it would be all good? Here’s picture , say they consented, instead of dicates of culture...what do u think?

Showing pictures of girls who were forced, then asking a hypothetical question about consenting teens is some interesting spin Khalaf.

[Khalaf]

^^^^Spin, never crossed my mind, maybe to those who are spinners in nature it does, but not I, I am a muslim somali we straight up we dont know how to spin..we tell it like it is namean...but probably lack of taste since those cultures are not really fair...but since Ganima (Smiley IB) made comment about age, thought i give her visual and see an OMG moment......Maybe, 13 yrs oldz in states having affairs with teachers wouldve been better choice, 13/14 yrs aint so innoncent namean.

 

Which leads me to Nepthyus (ppl pick easy names like Muna dang Nepthyus iyo Ganima ma xaa wayeeyo)....garthay its about differeces in responsbilities, and not biology. granted those kids back home or in afganistan cultures (or 100yrs ago) have more responsibliites, but they are also a lot more innocent in "sexuality" then kids here.

 

But iwe agree on the final answer.

[Ibtisam]

but they are also a lot more innocent in "sexuality" then kids here.

You are kidding right?? Maybe you need to visit back home

 

I stand by what I said, regardless of your pictures, It does not shock me or surprise me, but as I said consenting people, not FORCED. It does not mean it is tasteful or desirable thing to do, and it might even been statistically and socially abnormal.

[Khalaf]

You are kidding right?? Maybe you need to visit back home

i was serious, is there somthing you want tell me? Something u want share since u been back home?

 

Ive heard of underground nasty stuff

going down in middle east even homos......BUT MY BELOVED SOMALIA say it it in so min fadlik! I think somalis are the most religious muslims in the world, apart from fighting clans, but morality/xishood wa wax li isku raceey....somalidu are tops in this area as a community, u will have invidual cases tho.

 

ps: i think ur buffling....u wouldnt find it acceptale 14 yr old with old person even if their was consent.

[Paragon]

Barely a decade old child bride for village gambling debts? Inaa fajacnaa wa argagaxnaa! :mad: F***ing hell, odeyaasha waa weyn ma damiirkiibaa dooni laga saarey?

 

Mararka qaarkood there are vile things that one cannot argue against. No matter how permitted such marriages are under our religion, to be quest honest, there is something beastly about taking 11 - 15 year old girls as brides..beastly, I cry!

 

PS: I would say from 17 years, it is a game for those who want young brides. But a woman is most beautiful, as I see it, when she hits 26 till 33 years. Simply well-rounded and less jumpy .

[xiinfaniin]

A word for the participants of this debate: legal age for marriage is just a legal matter, and religious one at that, and emotions have no place in it. It’s not a question of personal preference either…

[Ibtisam]

^^^for sure.

 

So Khalaf my stand remains the same. I don't see a problem.

 

P.s. Somalia you speak so highly of, suuqa laa iss kuu fuulfa half drunk after Maghrib. So waa iillbaax, if that is what is called illbaaxnimo. :rolleyes:

[Jacaylbaro]

Aisha was engaged at the age of 9 and was married at the age of 11 ..... i don't see why kuwa imika joogaa ay caruur caruur isaga dhigayaan

 

As for men, well it depends but from 20 he'll be capable of taking responsibilities ,,,,

[Aaliyyah]

Generally, maturity age for women is 22 when it comes to marriage. As for men well at least 25. No offense, few are exception to the rule.

[Gabbal]

If I were to put myself in the parent's shoes, I would not want my daughter entertaining marriage under 20 years of age. Even then I believe the age limit is too young considering the responsibilities of a parent in this modern age.

 

Khalaf many tangible things have changed since the 9th century besides our mindset. I think you are far to intelligent for a simple question such as that.

 

You have to keep in mind that such thing as maturity, I.Q, and other things are environmental factors. So while a young adult might be considered mature enough to marry in the circumstances of a 9th century/nomadic Somalia, the same individual might not be responsible enough for marriage in modern urban life particularly in the West. You need to take the environment into consideration when trying to analyze why younger age marriage is considered acceptable in rural areas as opposed to urban areas.

[Jacaylbaro]

All of my sisters were married at the age of 15 or 16 ... my father is still happy with that and i dont find it too bad.

 

 

Well, the context is different.