Che -Guevara Posted December 25, 2002 Hello Nomads, Iam just wondering if anyone of yu here has been in the following situation....Have you ever been in obselete relationship where everything went dry and the relationship has run its coarse.Break-up looks inevitable but the problem is that the couple have known each other for so long. They have also been together for so long and the depth of understanding and respect for each other is immense.Both understand the end of thier romance has come but no one wants to initiate the break-up process for the fear of nasty break-up or what other person might say. To complicate the situation even more is that couple wanna leave each other on goods terms and perhaps be freinds.Who should initiate break-up? :confused: Later nomads. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Diaspora_Dude Posted December 26, 2002 hahahahahahahaha The answer is very uncomplicated whoever cannot withstand the relationship should terminate when he/she desires because there is a saying that notes Whoever cannot resist the heat of the room should depart correct me if i'm wrong here. That's where I stand on the kind of issues. Peace Love & Unity Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Che -Guevara Posted December 26, 2002 Prettyboy....I guess you are not wrong but I think the parties involved in this situation are not willing to take the dive....they are each waiting for other to drop the bomb. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Diaspora_Dude Posted December 26, 2002 Well che-guevara if the parties are waiting on each other to take actions against their relationships it will drag on forever with no clear and definite result. So I don't think it'll work to any advantage of both parties if it drags on. Peace Love & Unity Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Instinct.Poet Posted December 26, 2002 Good scenario,, guess i'm not a doctor or person good at that kind of situations.Maybe becouse never squered my self n that kind of box, or simply got better love&life..i support the idea of depart if you cn take the heat. ONE Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alpha Posted December 26, 2002 he he, This is a good sceario that any can relate with, atleast I can say i can relate with it... I've had past like that, very similar, "really" However the thing that i most hate is when a relatiobship comes to an end or at brink where the two can't stand or bare each others faces, There is only two ways that can be worked out, the situation that i was in was nothing like depart if you can't take the heat more like fight or flight i could have walked away and never return, or just simply say I'm not feelng ya vibe no more, ya love has drained from me i hold no grudges but my taste for you has gone sour no longer happy instead you bring a cloud of drama, Your face brings grave of anger from me I have one thig to say,"Can you please walk away and never look back ..But i have done something the opposite when i stood in front of the girl i could't say such words, my manners would not let me, Istead i proboe to her ad married her. And now i love her got to beautiful halal kids with her. the thing that i didn't forget was that She was beautiful and some way if we tried new halal way maybe we could work it out,and it did, so i'm not saying everyone should fallow my foot sreps, there is diffrent way situatio can be dealt with..... So always look onto your options don't just measure one... I like to break this down more, My time is scarce, Peace!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baashi Posted December 26, 2002 Let me see: 1) they have been 2gether so long.. 2) they understand each other...even can predict each other... 3) they respect each other. 4) But they do want to break-up cuz they find out that their love is not deep enough to go on and get married... 5) There are no problems worth mentioning in this relationship... 6) They want to be friends even if the inevitable break-up happens. Give another shot...since both got much in common and invested too much time in this relationship. If that advise has no chance..I don't know!...if my interpretation of the gist of the post is true especially (4)...and there are irreconciable differences then I would say the MAN should initiate the break-up cuz I think he would be able to anounciate with less difficult than the lady...plus she is anticipating the break-up anyway...and the whole drama is mutually played by both sides...so spare the lady for the emotional departure and the guilty-feeling baggage that comes with it! So that if time comes when u realized that she was too good to let her go...then u would be in position to swallow ur pride and be MAN enough to persuade her back to the relationship...and offer better incentive like marriage all the way...and belief me the lady will accept...it is their nature to be in selection mode...just be what real man should be...always in control, willing to take a blow especially from a lady, willing to say we were both confused and I come back with clear head and I know now what it is out there and what I had...she will melt like an ice unless she is already taken! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QUANTUM LEAP Posted December 26, 2002 Much as it may upset one of you, nothing beats HONESTY. Best policy since both parties are adults (presumed) and in need of rescuing. Break the ice and make it simple, diplomatic and understandable. Just make sure you dont close your communication channels as most Somalis tend to do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ayaan8321 Posted December 26, 2002 I can relate to it apart from "they were best friends before..."I met this guy and after a while it seemed to get worse...so i caught him checking a girl one time we were out...and what can I say,I made a big deal of it and ended it basically i agree with "if you can´t take the heat ,get out of the kitchen. " saying, as someone in here suggested Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
StarGazer Posted December 26, 2002 lol@ STLM lady....good idea! Like Shaqsii mentioned, you can never go wrong by being honest. Break-ups are not easy...trust. Whether its mutual or not, most times one of them is going to feel bad about it. Sometimes detachment its not a piece of cake b'coz its evident from the relationship you're talking about that there's fear from both sides. Why? Personally, I've always kept it real with myself and if I can't bare to be in a relationship no matter how much I care about that person I know at some point I have to let him go .....which I have in the past. I think that one of them needs to gather up the courage to say "ITS OVER SAXIIB, ITS BEEN REAL". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shyhem Posted December 26, 2002 Is this another version of flush it or rush it........well i will say flush it.Let natural selection in action do the dirty job.I f the two are meant to be 2gether,they'll in the near future, but in the meantime each to his own. My motto has always been either my way or away with her: yap, two ways to the highway,but there's always a way to the freeway and thats my way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Honesita Posted December 27, 2002 Seems like u've been readin' my thoughts Che-Guavera...!!! I'm in the same darn situation right now and i'm clueless about what to do....!!! But u know what...the best thing to do is just sit, relax and let the wind take u where ever Allah destined it to take u...!!! It's hard to let go of the sweet past and just judge that the relationship came to an end....best thing is to take a break for a while and see what happens, most likely thingz will go back to normal.....and i wish ya da best luck...!!! Alpha....i so agree with u....but what if the couple r not ready to get married...!!! I honestly think that it was a mistake to get involved in the first place knowing that i was not ready to get married....!!! But aint no point of regretting now...!!! Salaamz Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Che -Guevara Posted December 27, 2002 Thanks to everyone for your input. Depart if you can't take the heat. Give another chance Just walk away or the guy should initiate the process. Not bad list, i will see what works out. Honest-Sista....I know how it feels. It really sucks when you invest in something and it seems it ain't gonna work out. Good luck walaal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Legend of Zu Posted December 27, 2002 Ok..One thing I wanna know..I might sound slow..but the q's is..how did both of them get to know that they are tired of each other?...My understanind is...One party is makin an assumption which is " may be she/he feels the same way (tired)"...Unless U r a mutual friend and they both confined u with what they are thinkin of. in that case there is nothing You can Do... But if you mean the fire/spark/the romance has died ...i say it is something that every relationship suffers..some try to revived it and some others opt to let it go.... LOL ..i raised more questions than I answered...oopz dude..that is the problem with life..u ask for an advise..and ppl ask you more questions...and you hope that in one of these questions lies your answer... Am i makin any sense..or am mumblin as i used to do when we sing " Guulwadoo siyaad" @ the dugsiga dhexe Cheers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Che -Guevara Posted January 5, 2003 Legend of Zu....Actually, that's good question. I guess all this could be in one person's mind and their partner could be cluesless. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
