The_Siren Posted August 13, 2009 Good evening SOL-I believe that some of you are under the impression that I am a woman? Well it couldn’t be further from the truth. I am 10% a woman but the rest of me is all man and to prove to you just how manly I am- I have decided to share without my very own seduction techniques concerning how to bag yourself a woman. It’s from the Gentlemen’s handy book of cavemen philosophies. Fufu- This is as promised for you and other SOL men. Do enjoy and heed my advise. Let us begin…..there are 7 essential rules. They are as follows. #1. All women no matter how shrewd or intelligent want a real man to show them whose boss, one who’ll drag her kicking and screaming by the hair and into the bed room like the hunter gatherer you are. Forget about feminism women’s lib and all this equality malarkey because all a woman really wants is to have her head smashed against a wall till she’s punch drunk on your overwhelming masculinity. *Siren flexes his muscles* So fellers always remember to slap your woman firmly on the @ss and refer to her as your piece of meat, cause we all know that women LOVE that don’t we? #2. Always make a woman feel as though she’s the living and breathing reincarnation of the goddess Aphrodite, the whispered-sexy compliment is your trade. Be a gentleman and indulge her ego, make her feel special, cherished- even as you drown her with words of poetry and make the usual comparison of her crossed eyes and the sparkling magic of the very stars. It may sound a little pathetic and frivolous to us logical and reasonably manly men but for the fragile more fairer sex? This ego caressing ritual provides much of the sustenance their genetically innate low self-esteems require. Be a man tickle her fancies for she’ll be more likely to tickle yours once you’ve tricked her into a comfortable rhythm- of compliment, compliment-giggle, wink, caress and caress. Such is the fickleness of women. *sighs* But where would we be with out the darlings? #3. When going to rambunctious parties, hedonistic clubs and or other social events make sure to always take advantage of most venerable women possible, these often are those who are either A, drunk B, Drugged, C Foolish romantics or D all of the above mentioned. Note that these types of women prove to be much less inhibited when it comes to administering healthy doses of socially acceptable molestation and are more importantly far easier to over power during the mounting of the cattle stage. For the more adventuresses of you out there- may I suggest you keep a few satchels of Rohypnol with you? Just to liven things up a bit #4. Always take the initiative and follow a woman home, there are two ways of accomplishing this task successfully. You can either do so with her consent- thereby giving her a gentlemanly lift home in your car OR you can opt for the KBG scenario which involves you stealthy sneaking from bush to bush, quite often patiently waiting for the perfect opportunity to present itself so that you may engage in courtship rituals with her. Often such blessed openings come disguised in the form of dark narrow alleyways and highly impractical footwear- (God bless stilettos). Now do bare in mind that there will be some who will be so radical as to suggest that such tips as these are verging on sexual assault. But in my defense and the defense of my brothers I do suggest that you initially start out with following women who you know want you to follow them home. And if on occasion you find yourself the unwitting recipient of a few scratches, mace to the face and a knee to the groin? Never fear, because these emblems of feminine excitement are merely the hallmarks attributed to the occupational hazard of being a ladies man. *Flexes her collar* If a man isn’t ready to bleed a little from the eyes and have his ears boxed for showering his attentions on a worthy woman? Then he’s not really a man at all. #5. Always keep in mind that NO, doesn’t necessary mean NO, in fact in many cultures NO actually means YES. So fellers do not allow yourselves to be put off by women who seem a little reluctant to receive your adoration, because if personal experience is anything to go by then when a woman says NO, 99.99% of the time she actually means YES. Therefore if you find that your particular sex kitten is hissing, kicking and screaming at the top of her delicious pair of lungs for you to stop? Then you’re both in for a real treat. Because it’s a scientifically and statically well-known fact that women LOVE aggressive, animalistic sex just as much if not more than us men. In fact a study carried out by the Polytechnic University of Uzbekistan for the Autistic has shown direct colorations between high levels of “the happy sex hormone” (oxytocin) and what I like to refer to as traditional caveman sex more recently termed rape. Not surprisingly by the evil west- who seek to feminize our natural masculine urges. #6. Always protect yourself from false accusations of rape by wearing protective leather gloves and a matching condom, Please my brothers do not be so st*pid as you leave an actual DNA trail in your partner. Also never fail to forget that rape is only ever rape if the woman actually verbally says NO, (like she means it) so stuffing a chloroform drenched rag down her throat is an excellent method of ensuring her co-operation. If the word NO is never actually uttered then its not rape. So fellers remember to (lovingly) gag that sexy ladies mouth before she utters that crucial word. #7. Once you've successfully subdued (romantically and gently of course) a woman back to your place ensure that you've securely locked up the house and blocked off all possible escape routes. There’s nothing more embarrassing than having the woman your supposed to be making hot, passionate love with- run off on you half naked into the street crying for assistance by some passer-by, or worst still trying to make a dash for it to the nearest police station. No one wants to be right bang in the middle of an unnecessary judicial misunderstanding. Thus concludes our lesson for today, remember- it’s a jungle out there boys and you’re the lions of your domain. Go forth and capture what creature you will, tis your natural right anyway. So ladies, admit it- you were charmed were you not? *Smiles, giggles and then Runs off to join the hunt carrying spear in hand* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
B Posted August 13, 2009 Nice Post! 10% Women, the rest all man soomaha. Shemale miyaa tahay? knalmtalkinbout Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted August 13, 2009 AcuudubililAH!!! :eek: :eek: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SeeKer Posted August 14, 2009 These rules seem to be taken from Summer of Sam. :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Indhoos Posted August 14, 2009 Shemale miyaa tahay? Nah, 10% would make this person a She-man-woman-chasin g-spear-totting-club -weilding- Spitting-dudette.... Each word has a 5% chance of gender determination. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MZanzi Posted August 14, 2009 Siren stop showing me your G-string i told you before i don't do guys Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Siren Posted August 14, 2009 ^- Its a manly work out G-String/loin cloth Fufu and I wasn't asking for any man on man action naturally being heterosexual but was considerately fashioning this latest man-garmet in the effort for you to join our campaign. Ibti-LOL God so such a dear, have I shocked you?..Again? *Giggles-and then whispers in her ear-woman fear not-tis another form of my strange sense of humour* Idhoos-is also correct. Dualeh? Now how did I know you'd be with us man? Thats the spirit! Plus...its obvious that I a man...Can you not hear it in my gruff manly exterior? Perhaps this loin cloth does me no justice? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted August 14, 2009 Siren i propose to book you to priory clinic, you would make facinating study, i mean maskaxdaada waxay kusocotaa 200MPH. now in each of your talo, there is one or two crimes, each offence carrying atleast couple of years in prison. atleast usheeg wiilashan what happens to somali-men/aka lafoyar foodley in prison. Rohypnol :eek: :eek: qofyahay dabyar ma shidatid, anigu 20% man baad tahay dhihi lahaa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted August 14, 2009 Heh. I wonder what others think about this fight between Fu-Fu and Siren? Is it a cat fight? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted August 14, 2009 Originally posted by The_Siren: In fact a study carried out by the Polytechnic University of Uzbekistan for the Autistic LooL...cracking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted August 14, 2009 EDITED: Something use to be here. Astagfurallah, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted August 14, 2009 ^ , The initial Accudhubillah was sufficient enough for this thread.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted August 14, 2009 ^^^I know but then I someone sent me the video and I thought of this thread, perfect application of these rules, leads to that, since it did not involve humans I did not think it would have overreaching conclusions. But on second thought it might do. Thanks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted August 14, 2009 If Siren is londoner, then perhaps few muxadaro will do the trick or maybe an addiction to sweets. Siren ina keen, waxan ku geynayaa mid southal laga sheegay oo ceego kugu qabanaya,tiriq to dispell jiniga ( i suspect waa fetishkiisa inuu dumarka jilbaabkooda ku ceejiyo) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ducaysane Posted August 14, 2009 The_Siren, Jabto ala kugu rid xaasid sanaa. If men follow your technique, they will all end up in jail. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites