inter-racial marriages

[Blessed]

Rayaana

 

I'm surprised at you walaalo, thats just disgusting. SubxanAllah, whats with Muslims these days?

 

Walahi it's sad to see how devided and hateful we are towards each other. Those comments you made about Arabs and Indians were uncalled for. I hope you reconsider.

 

 

 

 

 

As for the topic.

 

I beg to be enlightened, how can two people who pray to the same God, share values and would most probably die for the same principles be so different?

 

There is more to this dunya then the arbitery second-rate issues as culture. Unity of Muslims from different social groups and races through marriage was something encouraged by the Prophet (saw)...

[Curly]

We all know Somalis have problems with themselves, what with tribes being a major issue…so considering other races is a no go area for many. I remember hearing a quote once that goes something like this… “Somali love three things, camels, religion and Culture, and if they were asked to let go of two them, only culture would be leftâ€

 

And I’m sure my parents would follow suit too, I know my mothers old fashion argument that, she won’t be able to understand or talk to my potential spouse is getting boring! And someone should tell her that it’s a good thing …lol

 

Anyway I wouldn’t call my family racist for having a preference toward Somali people, because I’ve seen the way my family interact with our mixed and non Somali relatives and they don’t treat them any different, in fact they embrace them and always make an effort to welcome them. Maybe that what Rayaan meant when she said “coz the end of the day a Arab will call you aswada (black), and your children behind your back will be called "the children of the black oneâ€

 

^^^

sounds a little typical of what most Somalis do, forget Arabs and Indians! lol

 

But on a serious note, I guess it’s down to personal choice. I seriously don’t agree with limiting yourself because of culture! I don’t even have any Daqaan (culture) much less allow it to cloud my judgement. Therefore I doubt that would be much trouble, as for parents and families!??? What are you all talking about, you’re not marrying his parents nor is he marrying yours. As Zephyrine quite rightly said, that is the very same reason why marriages fail. What with nosy in laws and old fashioned cultures dictating lives. However, having said that…just to save myself from arguments, fights and god knows what else (probably disownment), I’m quite happy with Somalis unless a better offer comes along of course …lol

 

Having said all that, I’m truly appalled by of the out right and some “boarder line†racist comments I’ve read . I won’t point fingers, but really the ignorance is killing me…you accuse others of being racist yet you do not see your own racist nature! This is a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black! (I guess it’s something we’ve all come accustom too)

 

Maybe we as Somalis will one day learn to over look all these petty issues of colour and race and learn to live and let live if that at the very least. Who am I kidding?! This definitely won't happen in my life time, when they’re still feuding amongst themselves!…then again miracles can happen! :rolleyes:

 

Ameen to that miracle!

[Final_Say]

lol, ameen to dat one, it sure won't happen.

 

i totally and utterly agree. damn how would i tell hooyo i'm marrying a jamaican muslim or a white muslim or anythin other den somali farah if my heart fell in da wrong direction, even my brother won't take dat and he is only 2yrs older den me. it will be naa sit down and don't shame us.

[Faheema.]

^^^ Don’t shame us? Because you might want to marry a god fearing, loving, kind, considerate human being, who happens to be White/Chinese/Indian/Arab/African? ( though some somalis don't consider themselves to be Africans ) :rolleyes:

 

 

Ameenah Well said sis, I couldn't agree with you more.

 

It would be understandable if these views were of our mothers and fathers. But what saddens me is hearing today’s generation talking like this, their hearts and minds filled with so much hate, segregation and discrimination. :confused:

 

Yes, we all have preferences and you have the right to choose, by all means go ahead. Lakiin, you don’t have the right to disrespect and be racist towards other races & cultures in the process.

 

Fear Allah, specially those who claim to be “practicingâ€

[Saalixa]

Salam all,

 

So. I see i have touched some sensitive skins. For all those i have disgusted...i am willing to disgust you more. First and for all Arabs have nothing to do with my religion. As a muslim i'am taught condemn prejudice. How dumbfounded i was, some members here are insulting me just because i was giving my little but deep thought.

None of you can tell me about arabs. In fact i have grown up with arabs all me life up to the degree that i even have some as relatives . No body can tell me arabs way of thinking, living etc. In school, i had most arab girlfriends and we were very close,,,so close,,,and then it will get to the stage of marriage and they would insult my somlai brothers infront of me. Even the religious ones. Well maybe iam wrong they would try to hide their feelings.

I had a somali sista who lived a couple of blocks down my lane and she had yemeni neighbours. They were born in the same apartment, went to the same school, ate together you name it they were close. And it reached the stage when the teenagers grew up and had an interest in each other (that is the somali sister was going to be asked by the yemeni guy who apparently was interested in her). And so the news reached the parents and of course the yemeni parents were overwhelmed. They disapproved from every corner. Now these were people they trusted. New all thier lives. Had childrens in the same building side by them. And so i have seen that arabs are just so smart.

i have encountered so many similar scenarios iam not surprised any longer. You may think iam stereotyping and generalising. But then how can i be when i have seen real live situations and iam like in these scenes or a watcher from a distance.

Walahi i think they are good. Very protective with their culture. I just would love it if somalis would be the same way. Now this does not mean you show disrespect to those of other nationalities. That is haram by law. But to have love for your people and country (and all muslim humanity) is very important.

I still company arabs. Always will. Have no choice because the porphet (asw) is among them. But walahi if that wasn't so i would pay no respect to 'some' arabs that reside today.

I however believe that there is that 20-30% who are not so chauvinistic and so one should never generalise. But the majority rules, and among those arabs who i have encountered 90% show little respect to people of african ethnicities.

But do not add the sahabahs in this group of arabs iam naming. Do not misunderstand iam talking about the arabs of today. I would do anything to have had a conversation, be the daughter, friend or relative of Asma Bint Abu Bakr or Musab Ibn Umayr. These were our heroes and of course they were arabs, but they encoded the real islamic pre conditioning into their lives. I wish i was among them sometimes too

Not only arabs but some somali are the same. We forgot the beuatiful ayah in surat al hujaraat

"o mankind, we have created you from a single pair of male-female and made you into nations and tribes so that you might know one another.."Ayah 13(i think)

 

Mob to Flame...I have seen your very nasty reply. I will though try to ignore you, i have encountered many of your type and so you are not so hmmm...exciting!

 

Dawoco walaal aad iyo aad baad uu mahadsantahay. There are always people like you who have the courtesy to carefully read in between the lines of what is written and understand with thought.

 

Bilan, i always was and i'am now. Again the way i think of arab behaviour will not make me be worse a muslim. I condemn thier way of behaving with other human beings whom they disregard as equivalent and worthy of respect. And again, iam saying they are not all like that. Our loving prophet was not like that was he? They as arabs should take some reponsibilty and encode his way of living and dealing with people of different colours and ethnicities.

[Moth_To_A_Flame]

Originally posted by rayaana:

Mob to Flame...I have seen your very nasty reply. I will though try to ignore you, i have encountered many of your type and so you are not so hmmm...exciting!

 

Hi Rayaana. Thanks for responding and claryfying your thoughts. I offer my unreserved apologies if you felt my response was "nasty" as that was never my intention.

 

Now, I can understand what you meant and if you read back to your first comment you will see that you said something entirely different there. (That's what led to my "nasty" reply!)

 

I'm sorry to know that you have had negative experiences with Arab people and that has led you to think badly of most of them. I am however pleased and heartened to know that you have acknowledged that there are good arabs and bad arabs, just like any other race. When you face prejudice from small-minded people, you just have to rise against it, it's the best way!

 

A lot of the prejudice is to do with not wanting to venture into the unknown. My significant other (to use an old fashioned phrase!) is arab and some of his relatives disapproved of his seeing me to begin with. I found that once they'd gotten to know me, they realised that I was really no different to any other arab girl. So I can relate to what you're saying about non-acceptance.

 

Once again, apologies if you though I was mean!

[Saalixa]

Moth

I have just read that you are Indian. I didn't see that earlier. Ok then, I'am sorry. But let me share with you my little experience. Once upon a time, when rayaana was in yr 10-12, she had an indain teacher who was her maths teacher in yr 10 and human biology in grades 11-12.

Now this indian teacher gave poor little rayaana hell! She reduced her makrs just because she was had resemblance to african skin, and even worse, was somali. Now really she shouldn't complain because other somali students had the same torture. She would only kiss her feet as soon as she walks into the room, make her some tea and say all the nice things she had on her mind regarding her teacher. Rayaana was in that class for 3 years and had no way out. But when she looks back she regards her as one of the best people she had ever come across. first because she was her teacher. Second she taught her discpline and third because her teaching skills over rided always by her prejudice thoughts gave rayaana strong identity and racial-proof skin!

So rayaana still loves her teacher and pays tribute to her in that same old class every now and then and will always.

There you have some of my experiences and many more that i'am not bothered to mention.So i suggest you put yourself in other peoples shoes before you shoot at them like you did earlier.

[SoMa_InC]

Double standard!!

[ADNAAN]

Originally posted by rayaana:

Rayaana was in that class for 3 years and had no way out. But when she looks back she regards her as one of the best people she had ever come across. first because she was her teacher. Second she taught her discpline and third because her teaching skills over rided always by her prejudice thoughts gave rayaana strong identity and racial-proof skin!

So rayaana still loves her teacher and pays tribute to her in that same old class every now and then and will always.

 

^^^some what a valuable experience i would say.

 

On a very serious note the whole racial inter-marriage issue turns out 2 be trivial when you see how Somalis despise each other and are divided along tribal lines. Marrying from far tribes other than ones own is almost regarded by some as unacceptable or s/thing beyond the norm

 

 

Logically there is nothing wrong with marrying from other races i think its a personnel choice and a good opportunity to explore other cultures,who knows it could prove 2 be advantageous 1 day.

 

From my memories bck in the good old days (triggered by rayaan’s story):

 

As a youngster i used to think of myself as as an arab & my first encounter with racism was bck in 95 in my elementary school (Salman al faarisi) in Sharjah UAE , on one afternoon as we were having our lunch break a little argument started b/w me and my best friend who was an Egyptian, it quickly turned into a brawl. Eventually after we roughed up each other for a little while another egyptian joined us and sided with him. To my amusement a Sudani mate whom i didn't even know that much rushed to my help, nevertheless it ended quick when one of the teachers broke up the fight.I used 2 always wonder as to why the sudani helped me but found out later when i came to da U.K , So after that little incident, every time in a while we used to tease those two who got bogged down into our little personnel war (as we used 2 call it "harb khaasah")

It was all silly but then what else would u expect from a 11 yr old.

[RendezVous]

I think all was said..but let add some few things...

 

First and foremost..There was the Ayah our dear Rayaana Indicated to us which is worth reading..'reading between the lines'.

 

I would not like to judge myself in here neither do I need anyone to do that.I am a somali man alhamdulillah, mature and educated.I need to make some reservation on those calling for our Somali peers to go inter-racial marriages..You tend to call it inter-Racial so that you find the word 'Racial'or Racism in it..(?)....Why don't you call it distant marriage..sort of..All humanity were at one time same except for sexes, origins same,colour same..whatever..What separated us Allah Aclam..but there are things to value and cherish..We have a culture, A religion and many Camels..Some culture like that of a chinese..who eat 'tasty Lizards'..are by far very distant to us Somalis.

Say you are marrying a chinese..A chinese(A muslim)...has the least characteristics resembling a somali.Eyes are small and protruding eyes and eats snakes and lizards..you don't eat lizards..ama kuna wengine...you love the relation..you love the sucking chinese muslim..and the next day, you are in Beijing(I know some ladies go there oftenly) and you are welcomed with some lizards(Which I heard is Xalaal)..something ay aad u jecelyihiin..you refuse for whatever reasons to eat the reptile.. and people are asking 'XunKin Sao'..What is happening..You refused citing your culture..Mind you..You are married with the sucker..Then there starts shame..You have put yourself in a shame, the family in a shame..and maybe you are already past A faarax sell date..you had a fair share of Faarax's shame...now tell me..you are 40yrs and have some eyes protruding kids..Regret starts..

 

This lizard was part of their culture and all marriage contain cultures..There is no way you will separate Culture from Marriage..unless you are in what USA nowadays calls freedom..men and women with freedom..'illegally marriages' n staying with women without consideration of Religion, culture..There are people in this world who are so obsessed with whites and non muslims..I found a lady who is from Germany and who came for holidays to Dubai..a consultant by profession..we used to talk and we were plain freinds..I mean she used to shop at one of our outlets..Now I asked her some questions..and good thing..she replied them cautiously..But when I asked her if she was married..She laughed and said back..Do I wanna be a part time 'husband'..for her..I said no..But she said she has them plenty..meaning she has many husbands..everywhere she goes..That is her culture..She was born under that circumstances..The lady was normal and an executive..and I wondered why did she opt to behave like that..She can groove with anyone provided there is something..they can lay with anyone..provided it is conducive for them..That is 'Culture'..I investigated and found out that, this same people, weren't born inside strict marriages..Islamic marriages..and even their fathers and great grandfathers are sometime unknown..they have lost cultural identity..they have lost generations..they don't know if they are Ukrainians/Germans/Danes/Dutch..or Brits.They are mixed..Now do u wanna be like that..your father Lebanese,your aunt a jamaican...., your uncle a nigerian .....and your grandmum a russian.........eh am sorry for that matter..This is what we are talking about..

 

Rayaan did say...would you like your kids to speak Somali?..would you will like your kids to associate themselves with their Somali brethren..same traditions, religion and camel rearing attitudes..Go on and so what are you upto..

 

99.7% of the statistics show we Somali men prefer our women for marriage than a foreigner...which ain't racism..God knows why?I am sure you read the news from the Russian parliament..they wanna enact a bill to restrict their Women(Who they claim are the most beautiful in the World)from getting married to others..is that Racism..They Love their community, they love their culture..and their identity...

 

Marry someone whom you don't know where he came from..There is a lady from St.Petersburg(Russia)who wanted me to marry her.I investigated and found her great Grandfathers were jews..Now Read the HOLY QURAAN about that kind of people..what if I went ahead..I would be partly contributing to this Jews descendancy..Which I feel not my type..

 

Now I am working with another British/Ukrainian lady who says she won't mind a Somali man so long as he is This and That..I told her frankly that am not the type to get married to distant Adam/Eve cousins..

 

Do u see some little sense..or do I say...?

 

Mind Blogging...>>>>>>>follow SOMALIS FOR SOMALIS FOR SOMALIS...

 

[ June 08, 2005, 10:07 AM: Message edited by: Zephyrine ]

[Final_Say]

^^^ loooooooool; mad examples brother;; say white ladies have it for u. looooooool

 

rayaan you have a good heart sis!!

Seriously adaan, nice childhood u had!!

 

i guess marry who you want, run wild, and check out other race, why stick boring old skinny farah's who knows wat the future holds;

pluz i know xalimo's and farahs are so into "love" dey are led by dere heart, most of u won't notice da race until ur mum/dad asks; by den too late;

i'd rather just stick to old farah's less trouble and hassle; pluz he can make his own barris!

 

 

adaan and rayaan, reminded me;

when i wz in primary school, i wz da only person who wz not Asian, though i blended in, they soon found out coz i couldn’t speak Bengali; anyway dey bullied and beat me, put me in hospital sad sods; anyway lets just say i wz glade when i finished school!! never look back i went to school where dere wz only black and white ppl; den i got picked on the first year coz da Africans said i wz not black enough and i wz Asian!! :mad: anyway i'm cool wid it now coz it taught me to be a fighter and a solider, made me a strong person, who don't business wid no one and i also learnt Bengali

 

so race marriages i'm cool wid, but i'll think twice before thinking about marrying a Bangladeshi ,

especially frm da area of my school

[Final_Say]

^^^^ if they become muslim; they are normally better ddeen wise den xalimo's; and if allah forgives them for their pass, why can't you, why u judging; as for their family, they are not responsible for their families actions!!

i say the only problem is culture difference; my hooyoo and aabo, will have problems; as will the kids, in balancing two cultures, as if the somali one aint bad enough

[RendezVous]

Originally posted by mizz_S.lander:

^^^^ if they become muslim; they are normally better ddeen wise den xalimo's; and if allah forgives them for their pass, why can't you, why u judging; as for their family, they are not responsible for their families actions!!

i say the only problem is culture difference; my hooyoo and aabo, will have problems; as will the kids, in balancing two cultures, as if the somali one aint bad enough

What if Xaliimo is straight religious and without me..????Ponder two seconds..Kabacdi we talk..

 

Go for Chilli sauced Indian..do u suggest?>>>>

[Final_Say]

^^^ farah ur set in ur ways; dee run wid it my friend;

[Faheema.]

The Rendezvous... You talk about religion… you talk about being a good Muslim…So why don’t you behave like one and stop insulting god's creatures…they are human beings…I suggest you start addressing them as such...Stop being so ignorant, nobody is saying you shouldn’t be proud of your people and culture :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

 

Zephyrine well done