inter-racial marriages

[som-aussie chick 4 life]

as-salamu alaikum

 

wat r ur ideas/views on inter-racial marriages.

 

i've a friend who wanted 2 get married 2 a lebanese bro but her dad refused sayin "somalis n arabs have nothin in common, i'll give u my blessings if u only marry a somali dude" etc, etc.

 

is this how all somali parents think?

 

would u marry some1 that does not come from the same nationality as u?

 

now we all know that islamically speakin inter-racial marriages r HALAL as long as the person u want 2 marry is muslim {except 4 broz since they r allowed 2 marry "the people of the book} rite? so y do somalis make such a BIG deal out of inter-racial marriages?

 

parents shud advice their daughters 2 marry a pious broz n not say somethin such as "i'll give u my blessings if u only marry or bring a somali man"

 

anyho, wat r ur ideas n point of views on this?

[Final_Say]

salamz sis

 

the problem is not what islam allows, but with somalis, its what they culture allows.

 

first of all, they want whats good for u in their eyes, not urs.

and they think they no better (which is possible)

and they wnat someone they sit down and say bariba waax laayidi (it should say, "it was once said") and have a cuppa with, which u can't blame them for. and also they wanna no what they fathers and grandfarthers did from other sources (i.e. the somalia gossip network)

 

and when something goes wrong they wanna take the oodayal (older men) to sort it out, and xaal (compensation)

the baisc traditional values that another race will not have..

NB: other cultures have traditions and values which if you go into as a women u may not like.... (i.e. women and the role they play in family) a somalian women would hate it.

so maybe better if we stick to our farah's......... at least we know their weakness (everything)

 

salamz

[Modesty]

Aussie, I would advice your friend not to marry to a non-somali, because Lebanese and arabs don't like blacks like us, so they are against it just as the somali parents are. The cultural barrier is difficult also. With your own culture you can deal with the other person.

 

Somalis are a few million people, and if start marrying other nationalities, are race will disappear. I want in the next 50 years to see pure Somali people, not halfies!!

[rebel]

it seems like a lot of somali girls especially where i live are marrying non somalis...expecially newly converted brothers that come from a variety of cultural backrounds...the most elegible somalian bachelor list is just too short i guess..

anywayz interracial marriages have their pros and cons...remember that we have certain expectations of our spouses that our parents have passed on to us that maybe cultural born...for example the close tribal, family tie is unique to our people...

i know a few friends who have married non somalis and most seem happy enough.

[Qac Qaac]

as long as he is a God fearing person go ahead.. culture differences would come into play after.. but that's what u chose..but i would give advice that ppl marry from their own is less problems..

[som-aussie chick 4 life]

Originally posted by Modesty:

Aussie, I would advice your friend not to marry to a non-somali, because Lebanese and arabs don't like blacks like us, so they are against it just as the somali parents are. The cultural barrier is difficult also. With your own culture you can deal with the other person.

 

Somalis are a few million people, and if start marrying other nationalities, are race will disappear. I want in the next 50 years to see pure Somali people, not halfies!!

And what's wrong with "halfies"? I'm halfie!

 

Have you heard of the saying "Don't judge a book by it's cover"? Just bcoz you saw couple of racist arabs does NOT mean all arabs are like that! If the brother was racist, I don't think he would be asking a sister who is BLACK to marry him! and if your message was referring to his parents, let me tell you that his older brother is already married to a somalian sister who gets along with the family very WELL.

 

Now considering the sig you've I would have expected a more un-racist advice from you but it's cool.

 

To the rest, thnx

 

wasalam

[FatB]

I would have expected a more un-racist advice from you but it's cool.

^^^oooohhhhhhh hows that for a back hand slap. girl ur triping loooooooool

as for interracial marrages is cool what should racial differences matter if the luv is there

[Baluug]

Modesty....Som-Aussie got you there.You shouldn't be saying things like that,especially with a signature like u got!!Say "astaq firullah"!It don't matter if they're not both somali.Look at the early Islamic times.If the Muslim Arabs only married their own people,Islam might not have spread so far like it did,and even Somalia might not have benefitted from the teachings of Allah SWT and Muhammad SCW

[Animal Farm]

As long as the person is Muslim it should be fine, but in general there are people who discriminate against other Muslims based on their ethnic backgrounds, and this is not acceptable in Islam. I mean Allah sees us and judges us fairly. I say marry whomever you want as long as they’re Muslim, I believe for men, the woman does not have to Muslim, but for a woman the man has to be Muslim.

[Rahima]

Let’s separate two issues here, whilst something can be xalaal it might not necessarily be the best choice and a person can be adverse-nothing wrong with that. To be of this opinion does not mean that one is against the teachings of Islam or in this case is racist.

 

Racism is the prejudice that members of one race are inherently superior to members of another race. I don’t see how Modesty then becomes a racist based on this-no where in her post did she explicitly or implicitly write that she believed that Somalis were superior to other races-all she said that she would like to see offspring whose parents are both Somali-nothing wrong with that fellow nomads, it is her opinion and in no way is that racist. You lot express that it is fine that we mix with other races (which is also fine) and she does not prefer it- THAT DOES NOT MAKE ONE RACIST .

 

There is a hadith where nabiga expressed his dislike (if memory serves me correctly) for lizard meat although it is xalaal. From this we learn that one can express such opinions.

 

We all know and acknowledge that Islam abolished and forbids racism, likewise we all know that it is xalaal to marry outside of ones race or of a different culture, but on a personal level I would never recommend it-if it can be avoided it should. The reasons are not based on racism, but rather it is an issue of understanding and really just comfort. When you marry an individual, not only are there two individuals involved, but the families are also connected-it’s not just about the two of you (which is what many of us seem to forget). There would be many obstacles to overcome (more than with a person from your own background). You can overcome them I suppose, but it is very difficult.

 

 

For myself I would never marry any but a Somali man (unless of course Allah has other plans), would never recommend it to my siblings, friends or children. But if they chose it, I’d probably try to convince them otherwise, if they however adamant and the person fulfills the Islamic requirements then so be it-but still certainly not my first choice. It's not like there aren't decent god-fearing fellow somalis around. Likewise I never ever recommend to my son-Somali friends to marry a Somali-the same rule applies.

[Animal Farm]

Rahima - cultural predilection over emotional/physical wants are a form of hidden and enlighten biases. The decision is not necessarily based on religion, but there is a cultural divide and relevancy that’s at play here. And surely, you do recommend such divide between cultures when it comes inter marriages. We must encourage understanding, mergers and the emergence cross-cultural identities, after all were living in the global village. If your willing to segregate cultures I wonder what other criteria's you have in pre-screening potential mates. Clearly Cupid is not blind nor is he ****** over love and lust - his arrow is defined, and there are millions out there who are propagating the must have conditions. Rahima, believe in the human potential movement

[Rahima]

Animal Farm,

 

Brother do you acknowledge that when choosing a potential mate there are many more criterias than those commercialized by the misguided image of cupid?

 

Is the only issue of matter love? I personally believe that the head needs to be a considerable force in our decision making process, especially in matters of such importance such as this. When making such decisions we need to keep in mind the feelings of our families and those around us. I was raised in the west, my parents speak very good English yet I know that to bring in a non-Somali to the family would disturb the comfort and true understanding factor (it is not of my own doing or that of my family-it just is). Likewise, it would be an issue of discomfort to the family on say a Lebanese brother. At the end the choice is there for everyone to make, but I do truly believe that the obstacles are many- it’s up to he/she who wants to tackle them, but I certainly would not be comfortable with them.

 

This is an issue of personal choice and opinion; I do believe that we are all entitled to this without disbelieving in the human potential movement .

[Haddad]

Originally posted by Modesty:

I would advice your friend not to marry to a non-somali, because Lebanese and arabs don't like blacks like us, so they are against it just as the somali parents are.

How are Somalis different from the Lebanese and arabs? Do Somalis like blacks like the jareer? Would a Somali allow his/her son/daughter to marry a black? I say Somalis are similar to the Lebanese. Wait, Somalis are Arabs!

[Moth_To_A_Flame]

I agree with all the brothers and sisters that have stressed that Islam should be the overriding factor. After all variety is the spice of life, so why not just go for someone because they are your soul-mate regardless of their ethnic origin? For obvious reasons, it's best if you both share the same religion.

 

I wouldn't worry about the Somali race or any other race dying out as I'd guess the substantial majority do prefer to be with someone of their own race.

 

I'm Indian and my boyfriend is Saudi, we've been together for 2 years and the cultural differences have never been a problem. If anything, it's a learning experience and I value that. Going back to the original post, I would say go for it if faith in Islam, love and mutual respect is there.

[Modesty]

I am not racist, and I love my signature, in fact I love all muslims. But, in my opinion I don't see any good in Inter-racial marriages, there's alot of barriers. But it's just my opinion.