Is it shame If the Men cry??

[Salma]

Q: Is it shame if the Men cry? :confused: and if its so who said so?? who considered it a shameful act??

 

A: Yes it is a shameful act, the Society said so.

 

Is that true, the Society said so????

 

But the Society is a group of individuals, People (Humans). And Humans need to cry, to release their anger, pressure,dissapointment, depression. I consider crying is a natural need just like Breathing,Food, Sleeping....etc. And crying is not always for negative things as mentioned above, but sometimes we shed tears in the peak of our happiness like succeeding in something, having a baby, seeing a friend from long time, in prayers and so on. So who said Crying is a shameful act.

 

Anyway:-

 

I was invited to a dinner two days back by some somali friends. Everything was cool and i was really enjoying my time till their boy (9 yrs) entered the living room crying painfully. Once we saw him, we all gathered around him and inquired from him what happened and made him cry in this way. So, before the boy start talking. His educated,so-called "diplmatic and good in relations father" suddenly yelled at his son's face and said "

 

"shrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp, don't cry, i don't wanna c u crying. You are a MAN, you know what is a Man. The MAN NEVER CRY :eek:

 

besmella el raxman el raxeeem. He silent the boy with his shouting and silent all the guests who were terrified by his voice. And it took me maybe few minutes to realize what did he said and how he handled the situation.

 

"Men Never Cry", who said so. Who said Men can't cry. Who said they can't show their tears. Who said Men can't express their feelings by crying. Yes, expressing our emotions or thoughts is not only by words, gestures or actions. Sometimes there are feelings inside the human's soul can't be expressed by words or actions. Tears are the best way to express them.

Besides, HIS SON was 9 years old ONLY. Is 9 yrs old boy considered a MAN??!!

 

Ya rabby bs, Are there men/guyz out there in this life who also shout at their sons and stop them from Crying.

 

Now, imagine why this boy was crying?

The rest of da story: Because he was beaten up by a bunch of boyz in his neighbourhood, who are older than him. Even if they are not older this is not the case, but they were group and he was alone :mad: , which i think its ok, kids always fight, its kinda normal but what counts is how the parents or school administrators handle the situation.

 

I'am sure this kid won't refer to his dad next time if he faced any other troubles. Who knows maybe next time he will take his avenge by his hands and make a group for himself and terrify other kids. Perhaps he will grow up later while putting in his mind "Take your right by your Hand, coz MEN NEVER CRY, Coz Daddy will embarrasse me if i ask for his Help" yeah yeah

 

And who knows maybe hundreds of men grow up in this way "Dont cry, Don't show your tears to Your dad, mom, sister, brother, wife, daughter, son" Don't show them at all. Keep them hiding. When you feel lonely, depressed or down do anything but not crying. Keep all pressure in your heart but never Cry

 

Cause "Men Never Cry" and that's why they created Weapon of Mass Destruction LOOL

 

Anyway, is it true "Men Never Cry" ?, would you raise your child in this way? Would you make fun of your Friend and consider him "Weak or Chicken if he cried? Do you think twice before letting your tears come out from your eyes or you just free them and feel fine about it? Do you think Tears are only for the Pinky Creatures "Women and Girls" and not made for Men?

 

 

Peace

[NGONGE]

Of course it’s a shame for a man to cry. It’s a silly “law†but it’s an existing one nonetheless. I don’t know if the father was right in shouting at his son in front of guests but he was right in telling him not to cry. This boy even though he’s nine years of age will still have to go out, he’ll still have to mix with these other boys. Children are the cruellest creatures on the face of the earth. Show a sign of weakness and they’ll hound you. Crying is a sign of weakness and vulnerability. This might sound obvious and simple but crying shows that you can experience pain. This in turn, allows the “vultures†to try to recreate this pain. When someone beats you up they do it to see you cry. In most cases, once they see you cry they’ll stop beating you. They now know that they’ve “broken†you. If, however, you didn’t cry while they were beating you, they’ll start to worry. Even if they don’t show it, they’ll be wary of you and what you’re going to do in retaliation. All this of course only relates to fighting and naked aggression.

 

There is also a second type of crying that’s frowned upon. This relates to disasters or a crisis befalling someone. Say a member of someone’s family died. Now, the usual things that happen when someone gets the news of such a thing is that the women will start crying and wailing (because they simply can), the men on the other hand will have to deal with the practicalities of such a situation (I’m following the norms here and not talking about specific situations). If a guy starts crying, the wailing women will stop and have a go at him (usually). You just have to deal with a situation that made you cry, that’s the “manly†thing to do. “Don’t sit around and cry about it†seems to be the message here. In most cases it does make sense.

 

 

We don’t cry, we punch walls.

 

** Starts demonstrating **

 

** Feels pain **

 

** Weeps softly **

[Alle-ubaahne]

My dear Classique,

 

Men don't cry or need to cry. You right, many socaities do really have a unifying sense that discourages for men to display their weeping and cry. For example, sociaties of strong patrician culture don't expect their men to cry, because crying is against the noble legacy in which the sociaty has attributed to them.

 

I am not here to say that I personaly don't greive, at least in the form of shedding tears before the public, but I believe my grievances, or the so-called 'shameful cry' should be an intrinsic one that goes down-ward.

 

The reasons are clear: men use their minds, not their emotions. I think there was a definitive statement about the essence of crying, (shedding tears is an enery always used by the weak to release out the anger within).

 

Let no men cry.

 

Ibros, (Alle-ubaahne)

[AYOUB]

There is nothing shameful with men crying when they have lost a loved one. No, I don’t mean breaking up with your squeeze, I mean someone dying.

 

 

"Don’t cry like a woman for what you would not defend like a man!" The Moorish king’s mother.

[OG Moti]

Crying is a result of Emotional intelligence.. actually the nineth intelligence in the Multiple intelligence theory.. what is my point? ok

 

Women cry and it is accepted by the so called society, men dont cry, it is not nice again by the society.. the result of such primitive thinking is Women living longer and happier life than men...

 

Crying is a biological solution of releasing harmful hormones and ought to be released.. men keep it so hard till it kills them, crying is a form of expression, anger, sadness and depression are feelings which leads the release of hormones within you body that needs to be removed from your system, guess what? There is one way to remove these harmful hormones and it is through your eyes and these little drops that comes from it.. so CRY and don’t be ashamed, you will be healthier and happier and see your grand children to tell them all you happy days and sad days… peace

[Tuujiye]

Ar ani intaan oooyo aan wili baroortaa (ilin iyo diif is raacsan)...

filin sad ah hadaan arko xataa waa iska ooynaa..

Waxaa ooyaan dadka nadiifka ah oo uurkooda warankiilo ka carfeeso!!!!

 

 

wareer badanaa!!

[Juxa]

i think that father was ignorant, men should cry, so bina aadan maahin.

 

to make a lil boy terrified is coward. children should be able to express themselves. making the kid suppress his feeling could lead to behavioral problems at later stage.

 

let him cry, its good and it cleanses the soul.

no i dont cry, i view it as sign of weakness, bt that is dabeecad horey u bartay

[soldier_of_allah]

"I'am sure this kid won't refer to his dad next time if he faced is faced with trouble coz da kid would think his dad will embarass him"

 

i agree with you however like da brother who replied 1st said although it exists not many people adhere to it(crying)am a female and my dads faveriote child yet i was the only 1 who didt cry at da funeral and on his death bed

 

theres something called silent grieve works 4 some like myself so crying is not always da answer

 

some people just have a tear roll down da cheek but other den no sign of grief or hatred na'mean

so wateva rocks your boat

 

its a free country (sum parts lol)

 

but bruver am sorry but u really made me laugh in this quote of urs check it out

 

"Ya rabby bs, Are there men/guyz out there in this life who also shout at their sons and stop them from Crying."

 

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL TALK ABOUT DIS ISSUE REALLY GETTING TO YOU WASALAM ALAYKUM KEEP IT REAL

[Viking]

The best of creation, our Noble Prophet SAWS, cried. Why then should we adhere to jahiliya cultures that make men cold beasts? A man's should use his strengths to hold together the family but that shouldn't stop him from feeling pain. Pain (or emotions) so intense that you have to release it somehow, for it is unhealthy to hold all that inside.

 

I personally do ocassionally cry, not at grievances but sometimes when praying or making du'a. There was an imam who twice (in two different occasions, jum'a prayers) after fatixa read from sura Al-Ankabut 29.57... ÙƒÙلّ٠نَÙْس٠ذَائÙقَة٠الْمَوْت٠(Every soul will taste of death). Tears just ran down my cheeks, on both occasions, and there was nothing I could do to hold them back. For some reason, I don't look forward to hearinag someone reading that verse.

 

Sura Al-Zalzala (sura 99) also terrifies me and shakes me to the core when I hear or read it; the reason is, I saw something similar in a dream once and it was the most horrific dream I have ever had.

[nuune]

in la ooyo waa daruuri laga maarmaan ah,

xataa hadaysan ka imaaneyn oohin waa

inaad isku daydo inaad iska keento,

xataa hadaad iska keeni weydo isku qassab,

marka hadal iyo dhamantiis, oohintu ama

ilmada qubata waa caafimaad,

waayo indhahaaga wixii ku jirey

ee uskak iyo dheerti ahaa bey

soo xaaqayaan, hadadan ooyin

waxa kugu dhalan cudurka daafka,

waliba waxey kaloo yiraahdeen

hadaadan wax dhunkan bishimaha

biijaa kaa gali, marka waxyaala

badan aa la dhahaa, hadal lama

soo koobi karo, laakinse ku ekkoow

dad waa kuwii hore hadalna

wa keey yiraahdeen

[Rahima]

To never cry is to be a hard-hearted individual.

 

Certain situations and incidences naturally result in a man crying and to not do so is just sad really.

 

Personally I don’t like a man like that, but at the same time, over crying is too feminine also. To cry because you lost your job for example, is silly, but if your mother was to pass away and you did not cry is abhorrent.

 

The middle path is the way to go.

[Maymuunah]

man I cry every after little hurt that happens to me and after the tears start rolling down my cheaks i feel refreshed ..then i laugh at myself for how easy i get emotional...but it is a good treatment if ya know what i am telling...aaah it is good to cry for me i guess.

 

I have seen a man crying like a baby walaahi..uuuaaahuuuuaaahuuuuu...istaqfurullah

[OG Moti]

one good thing about men holing their tears... which is when you see a man crying it has to be for a huge reason... and i have seen it, and it breaks your heart.. you dont need to know the reason he is crying, you just know it has to be a major issue.. but on the other hand .. now adays men cry for little things, so i think the legacy of men should not cry has turned to a very unpleasant turn .. men now aday cry cause a girl left him, men cry cause he lost a mobile phone and with it he lost the number of a girl he met and really liked, men cry when they lose their job, so ... i am men crying but for reasons that is beyond imagination and for pain that no many can take... peace

[Tuujiye]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

waraa boolbaro

maanta waxaa qortay hadal badanee..see camal..

this is the most writing you did in al your posts lol..

 

qof aan ooyin waxaa la dhahay cudur daaf ayaa ku dhaca...

labo is jecel hadee is fiirshaana daaf ayaa ku dhaca...Aaaaaaaaaaaaa isiiiiiii sisinta aan shukuleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

 

wareer badanaa!!!

[Qac Qaac]

If a man cries because of Khusuuc is good. but if he cries because u said something to him, or when he watches TV. well that kind of man is SISSY.