Why Can't the Brotha be friends with a Sista

[Guhaad]

^thanks Ahura

 

:mad: i can't name everyone, thanks y'all.

 

for the religious folks; Pucca, huuno and Passion, my iman is neither full nor empty; that is why I raised the question.

 

Lol@Lazyie, you hit Levie's ball so hard, i think it is still in the air, i don't even know when it will land i hate those people who buy things like 'everything has been said', or we finished that topic. Life is evolving, every news is new. thanks for your long input as well, and sorry to the two mates you lost.

 

JLee,

if you just put the bar down a bit, maybe...

[Abaadir]

Boys and girls can be friends if they are both ugly.

[Conspiracy]

this is a tricky topic whatever reply you give is wrong!

[Zafir]

^^I will set the record straight.

 

I don’t know. Guys hold up please, what kind of friendship are we talking about here? Are we talking about the type between to two males? (Call each other occasionally to hung out, watch and play games, shoot some hoop, etc) or the type between two females? (Call each other frequently, hung out, talk about fashion, or who’s hot or whatnot, accompany me to the restroom, etc) Now the type for male and female doesn’t exist, it gets compromised as the two grow closer, which has every potential for falling into the grouping of either (male, male) or (female, female)

 

Now there are two reasons why a guy would befriend a girl:

 

Reason one; (mind you all it takes for this is one lousy day) He liked her, he approaches her, doesn’t tell her his intentions, got introduced around her friends as friend, hunged with the crew for few hours, he crakes some jokes, the girls say “ooh he is funny†he gets serious and tackles issues like FGM, the girls say “ooh this fella knows his stuff†and all of the girls like him, he innocently thinks his chips are all in place and decides to wait for another day, what he doesn’t know is that, like a rock thrown into a well *bulub* he falls into the friend ZONE.. Hey we are hunging out tonight wanna come? “Sure, sure†he says. He desperate wants to get out now that he know but doesn’t know how and that’s how the cookie crumples ladies and gentlemen.

 

Reason two: A well known characters among socials. Guys that just love nothing more than be friends with every girl they see. If I am not mistaking, I believe they are referred to as “shaneeye†(in every four girls shaneeye is the fith)But don’t quote me on that. That’s Mother Nature for ya folks, what can ya say.

[Guhaad]

^i see you have shopped from the local Negative Mac-Macaan Store

 

a relationship of any kind can take many turns and angles, or simply mean different things to to many characters and individuals. the one i have in mind is one that allows both genders to see one another as friends without melicious intent or lust (many are still at this stage of thinking i guess). this relationship can be so beneficial and benign that neither member wants to be the cause that ends it. in our somali socity one has to either be married to a woman or must be a close relative to even think about engaging a sista.

 

in the West, we face new challenges, we are no longer behind close doors, lived in our lovely balakuuti houses or in an exclusively sister and brotherly cubicals. Today we confront sisters in our workplace, schools, and outdoors. why is so much hype, negativity, or hear stereotypical comments when it comes to having a friend of the opposite gender; whatever that might mean. for some, this could mean a pizza day, a movie night, or an even an occional drive-thru. for someone else, it could mean a simple phone call, to get the 'hello' across and get the 'hey' in return. i guess it all have to be, like some have said, within the parameters of the reletionship.

 

the question still stands, to why we have been seperated even as other communities are more united (remember this could leak into our social inactivity and patterns towards one another, etc.), or try to shun those individuals who have tried to do otherwise. I am afraid, if we don't make that transition, or have the mind to discuss it beforehand that it might cause some of our sisters to conclude, like Ibtisam has wittingly done;

to avoid being friends with Somali (opposite sex) if your friendly with them they think you fancy their pants off and if your ignore them they think your stuck up or you think your too good for them

[Janna]

Kafaaxiye,

 

Under Islam a relationship that is not marriage between a male and female cannot exist.

[nemo]

Of course a male and female can not be friends and for ONE reason only...ISLAM says a male and female can't be in a room alone together.

Now said that how can two be friends if they can't be in a room alone together. No movie night with pop cones.....no going out only the two of you guys. Nothing...

And why does our religion say we can not be in a room alone because of the "SHAYDAAN" ok I must admit the two, their attention could be to be friends but later it WILL change.

Boys and girls can be friends if they are both ugly.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL serious that made me laugh

but sxb just because they are ugly does not mean they don't have feelings.....was more thinking if one is ugly and the other isn't it could work more.

Ps

[-Lily-]

Well most male/female friends I know hang out publically together, or are surrounded by people if they are indoors.

 

Like I said, a pure brotherly/sisterly friendship is rare and highly valued. I can understand what Ibtisam said. On many levels I don't think the concept of male/female friendships has quiet taken hold in our community. If you are friendly with a guy his ego shoots up and all of a sudden you are 'running after him'. Despite this, you should't put people down unless they have explicidly expressed anything other than friendship (girls egos are equally huge when it comes to 'he's into me').

 

Having said all of that, I still think the best success stories are those that have started of as friendships.I mean who could just by pass frindship and jump into romance?

[Didi Kong]

Kafaaxiye I see what you are trying to say now. I was just unclear of the extent of the interactions you were talking about when you said why can't brothas and sistas be friends. Ofcourse in any society nothing can be accomplished without working together and in our society we are constantly in contact with each other. It is very nice of you to care enough about the sisters to want to protect them. But you also have to understand where the religious folk are coming from. They are catious of shaytaan misleading them into something that might start out as being innocent and friendshipy and then end up as something else. And all long with all this there is all they hype and negetivity from our culture. Soo do we need a resolution? maybe!

[Lake]

Well it depends on.....I don’t know the type of friendship. I do say hi and greet couple of girls I like to think as just friends nothing is wrong with that..right? Is not like I do activities with them (or atleast not planned ones)

 

And there are other girls you talk to but I wouldn't put them in the frienship category. They're just.......go figure

[Guhaad]

In one of my previous Xamaali stations, we rode a bus to get to another location. the bus would take about an hour to get to the post. In that rare Xamaali position, there were four Somalis, two older ones, and me and another sister. The sista was a typical somali, only that she dressed like an American; she had her jeans on, and her t!ts on, and her back on! other than that she had all the blessed features of a fine sister, with a brown skin, small eyes, and that special submissive, nacam and waayahay, Somali voice. After days in and out, i never bothered talking to her, i thought she was more tuned to herself, and didn't need my whispering. the other Somalis, well, you know they were bit older and were from X and Y, they had more in their hands than them to think about us.

 

couple days after we started to work and still riding that bus to and from that station, an Afro-Am dude was hired. to make it shorter, the guy was no different than I, he was quiet, minded his business, and sat alone (everyone did that). the sista started moving, talking, and sitting with this Afro dude, though i felt his uneasiness with the situation, cuz he was always trying to move to the opposite direction, or would say nothing for sometime. i don't know what transpired that connection, but i felt that dude had something we were missing, even if he wasn't a perfect example of it.

[Didi Kong]

The title of this topic should be why do the Somali sista like the Ajnabi guys and not Kafaaxiye. It is too bad the fine sista didn't give you the time of day..What did the afro dude have that you were missing hmmm...who cares!

[Guhaad]

Originally posted by Didi Kong: The title of this topic should be why do the Somali sista like the Ajnabi guys and not Kafaaxiye.

that is the Title, well, only in place of Kafaaxiye, you would have Somali male/boyz

 

read between the lines, sxb, i know i am still in the topic with the above example. I leave it to you to find how and where.

 

What did the afro dude have that you were missing hmmm

nothing. and that is the point~

[Didi Kong]

Kafaaxiye maybe if you looked like the bro from your avatar you would have no problems.

[Zafir]

Kafaaxiye, Lair, you're missing your two front teeth

 

On a serious note though i do agree with Miss. Kong there, you have gone from somali girls and boys should be friends to there was a somali girl that choose adoon dude over me (and my fine self).