Why are Somalis judgemental?

[Modesty]

salaam, I just posted a reply about this(lol). But, on a serious note, I find the majority of somalis I come into contact with to be very judgemental. For example, if they see a girl wearing "modest" pants, they will give dirty looks, and I had many girls tell me this. Why? because it is considered a "unlady like" in our culture. I don't think a person should be judged for how they dress but their character as a person, because there are alot of girls who are clad in burkas that are vile and act "unislamic" to say the least. I am not against hijab here, don't get me wrong, I'm trying to make my point(i'm a hijab supporter:)) Secondly, if you hang out with people who are non-somalis they assume you don't like them. I personally like hanging out with non-somalis, and the majority of my "new crew" are non-somalis because I live around stuck up somalis that look unapproachable. Thirdly, if you speak english around them, even if you speaking with another individual, they start saying "speak somali"..I find that rude because I don't think anyone has the right to tell others what language to speak...especially if they aren't speaking with them.Also, aside from being judgemental, somalis don't smile...lol..didn't the prophet Muhammad(saw) say smiling to your muslim brethren is charity.Yet, non-muslims are always smiling, doing what we should be doing. Furthermore, somalis(by saying "somalis" I mean hard core ones straight off the bannana boat) don't say "thanks", if you do them a favor(especially the women)...they assume you are ****** , and they fooled you because they are more "clever" than you.Also, somalis are more nicer to foreigners than their own people...and why do they want to ask "what qabiil are you ?at the bus stop even though they don't know you. I know I made lots of generalizations, but the truth of the matter is these so-called generalizations are very visible in our community. I know culture has it's flaws, but it's always good to address them so that we (individually) can make some changes to improve our lot to become better human beings and muslims.

[Janna]

I knew someone was going to post a topic about Somali's and their unnatural ways.

 

Modesty

Sister you shouldn't be paying any attention to those who are suffering from tribal syndrome.

Yes, Somali's can be judgemental sometimes, so too can be other races.

 

Somali's will never change their ways. Even though they are no longer living in the bush.

Most times I am shamed to be Somali. For they do not display muslim characteristics but rather their nomadic ways. Modernity may change but Somali's? Never.

Ignore the ignorant and hang around with your non-Somali friends as long as they are showing you the right path and will not lead you astray.

If anyone else asks you "what tribe you are?", get your shoe out. Oh wait, don't do that. Give them a dirty look, oh wait not a good idea.

Somali's do tend to take advantage of a person who helps them. If they don't say "Thank-you" remind them to do so. Some people do need to be reminded of their ill manners.

 

Some sisters who wear the veil, do not demonstrate Islamic behaviour. If you do witness such thing, then you should remind them what the veil stands for. At the end of the day, you become the better person.

[Sky]

Confused girl #1 displaying bullshit:

Also, aside from being judgemental, somalis don't smile...lol..didn't the prophet Muhammad(saw) say smiling to your muslim brethren is charity.Yet, non-muslims are always smiling, doing what we should be doing. Furthermore, somalis(by saying "somalis" I mean hard core ones straight off the bannana boat) don't say "thanks", if you do them a favor(especially the women)...they assume you are ****** , and they fooled you because they are more "clever" than you.Also, somalis are more nicer to foreigners than their own people...and why do they want to ask "what qabiil are you ?at the bus stop even though they don't know you.

Confused girl #2 adding bullshit to previously displayed bullshit:

Somali's will never change their ways. Even though they are no longer living in the bush.

Most times I am shamed to be Somali. For they do not display muslim characteristics but rather their nomadic ways. Modernity may change but Somali's? Never.

What the hell are you guys doing here? You hate Somali people right? Than leave this place. (oh Alexus you allready have done that for a period of 21 minutes right?)

 

Alexus, just wondering. Is that your exact location you have displayed there? Or just your tribal origins?

[Janna]

Another jerk with no sense of direction. Always on my case and has nothing better to do, Sky.

 

Sky

I hate Somali's? That's something new.

I hate Somali's because I want them to become better people? I hate my own race for not supporting their non-islamic behaviours?

My location has nothing to do with you. Am I meant to forget my origins? And claim Australia to my country and birth place?

[Modesty]

Sky thanks for exposing yourself, and how bigotted you are. Hence you've proven my point that if you don't have their views...you are outcasted.Look, you have no right to tell us we aren't somali, we know we are somali, but that doesn't make any difference because we are people with our own personal views. You can disagree with my argument, but you don't have to tell me what I am or am not. Don't get personal

[Jabhad]

Sister you shouldn't be paying any attention to those who are suffering from tribal syndrome.

Yes, Somali's can be judgemental sometimes, so too can be other races.

 

This is very good opportunity for you Modest to take as much Ajar as possible by doing some Da'wah to your somali brothers and sisters as well as your non muslim friends. I want to remind you we only should have one culture and that is our islamic faith.

[Jabhad]

I found this article somewhat helpfull in your situation.

 

Dealing with a disturbing and harsh Muslim brother

 

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

 

 

My family and I just underwent a most distressing one-on-one one "da'wa session" by a person who is close to us (a distant relative). This was not the first as we have been through many such experiences with the same person before. Almost all the time instead of giving us a renewed energy in practicing Islam it always left us with a distressed mind. And even worse, I have seen many times him doing the same to our close relatives, immediate friends including non-Muslims! I always thought of his approach as really an ugly way of expositing our beautiful Deen as most of his audience are people who are newcomers in to the Deen. Instead of taking it easy on them his methods are almost always harsh. And are a lot of errors, assumptions, misjudgments about other people, accusations, and false claims in it. He will talk about all the excellent things he did for the sake of Islam and will go on to list all the "haram" things you are doing looking at your face....

 

 

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

 

Praise be to Allah.

 

May Allah's peace and blessings shower upon our beloved Messenger.

 

Dear Brother,

 

I pray this message finds you and your family in good health and iman.

 

Allah Most High tells us, "It was by the mercy of Allah that thou wast lenient with them (O Muhammad), for if thou hadst been stern and fierce of heart they would have dispersed from round about thee. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult with them upon the conduct of affairs. And when thou art resolved, then put thy trust in Allah. Lo! Allah loveth those who put their trust (in Him)." [Aal-i-Imran, 3:159]

 

Allah the Exalted also commands us to give da'wah in the best of ways, "Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance." [Al-Nahl, 16:125]

 

Our Beloved Messenger, Allah bless him and give him peace, was the epitome of compassion and gentleness, even to his greatest enemies. From the Sunna of our Beloved:

 

'A'isha, the wife of Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him), reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: 'A'isha, verily Allah is kind and He loves kindness and confers upon kindness which he does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness). [sahih Muslim, Book 32, Number 6273]

 

'A'isha, the wife of Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him), reported Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: Kindness is not to be found in anything but that it adds to its beauty and it is not withdrawn from anything but it makes it defective. [sahih Muslim, Book 32, Number 6274]

 

Perhaps it would be wise to gently remind your relative of these Qura'nic and Prophetic wisdoms.

 

Remind him that the Prophet, peace be upon him came as a mercy to the worlds. He came to make our deen easy, not difficult. Tell him that you appreciate his commitment and fervor. But also be honest about how some of his remarks make you feel. You may also want to point out that your non-Muslim friends would probably be far more receptive to a positive message.

 

Alhamdulillah, I've had the opportunity to observe many different dawah styles. I'm not sure if your relative is a convert or born into a Muslim family; however, I have noticed that both groups can become a bit overzealous in making dawah to those they perceive as less-practicing, particular when the da'iya has had to undergo his or her own "rebirth" in Islam.

 

Insha'Allah, with some age, wisdom, and nasiha, perhaps your relative will learn to tone it down. Many people who've converted to Islam or rediscovered it undergo a long process of growth and change, initially wielding Islam like a weapon, but then beginning to mellow and use hikma. For example, many new Muslims upon entering Islam would immediately cut off all relations with non-Muslim family, leave their jobs, and start condemning "the kuffar," sincerely believing that these actions were Islamic. Alhamdulillah, with time they realized that Islam is the way of moderation, tolerance, and wisdom.

 

You mentioned that your relative has not had any formal religious training. I don't know what terms you are on right now, but it may be beneficial to encourage him to sign up with you for some courses here at SunniPath, especially those that focus on implementing the spirit of the Sunna.

 

If you don't think he'd be receptive, why not take the course yourself and talk to the Shaykh (in private) about this problem? You may also want to consider finding a local scholar to talk to. Are there any local study circles you can attend? It might be good to invite your relative in the spirit of brotherhood and friendship.

 

Last but not least, please be patient with him. Argumentation will only make you more frustrated. You can mention the above points in a firm yet kind way. I encourage you also to read the following articles about the conditions for enjoining the good and forbidding the wrong. Generally, the scholars tell us to only confront someone if we know we won't cause greater harm in doing so:

 

Commanding the Good & Forbidding the Evil, And The Honor of Scholars

 

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=162&CATE=14

 

What are the priorities in dawah to non-Muslim family members?

 

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=5088&CATE=239

 

I pray Allah Most High brings everyone's hearts together on iman, taqwa, and love for Allah.

 

And Allah knows best.

[SoMa_InC]

Why are Somalis judgemental?

Aren't you judgemental by referring all Somalis to be judgemental? :confused:

[DraGon]

Qoute:

"Aren't you judgemental by referring all Somalis to be judgemental?"

 

Not according to her...apparently she is above "Somalis"....you know those Somalis who are this and that. Just wish ppl will look at mirror before generalizing a whole community especially the one the claim to belong to.

[Qac Qaac]

first guys let's not jump on the girl's throat she said what she was feeling, and that is a couragous thing to do, but did the way she do it right, is another thing..

 

modesty, first i never heard about modest pants, but if u do u could enlighten me, i always hear, i wear pants do to my weakness, and insh'allah i am working on to cut it, for once, me personally i don't care about somalies.. coz at the end, u gonna be asked by God what u did, right, so don't bother urself with them..

 

2nd of all, u hanging around with non somalies ain't nothing wrong with that, but give the ppl excuses, like maybe these ppl always see that ppl who stay away from somalies are either dont like somalies, or they are hiding something, oo ceebtooda marabaan in la ogaado, and hence this is a normal thing, see u would hear from arabs too, those who do bad things, they never do near arabs scared their ppl would know or something.. but don't get me wrong i am not saying u r doing a bad thing.. i just said to prove a point, extreme example to prove a point.

 

i would advice to carry out ur life, according to islamic guidelines, and don't mind about ppl, and their arrogancy..

[J.Lee]

Aren't you judgmental by referring all Somalis to be judgmental?

 

Well, Heck! She is Somali after all buddy o' pal. Anyway, despite the title of the thread the author states in the opening sentences that it's the majority of Somalis whom she comes in contact with that are judgmental not all mind you.

 

@Sky. Ilaahay ka cabso maandhow.

 

In my sacred opinion, making judgments, or generalizing (quite natural by the way) isn't unique to just Somalis but rather all ethnicities as well as all nationalities. It's something, that despite the best of efforts, cannot be changed, and a perfect example of that is the good Ol' US of America and the racial inequality (for judgments lead to prejudices) that exists in this modern and developed country er...Excusi Empire.

 

On another off key note, this thread serves as a perfect example why with every generation our old world mentality which is allergic to change can’t co-exist in harmony nor side by side, with our new world "modernity" with the mantra "conform you b*stard" etched in our young "enlightened" hearts like a fine art form, and it also explain why these two ideals always, and unfortunately clash. The result of this disagreement is a generational competition to abolish -that- which we disdain in the previous generation. (For example the new, and modern generation wants the fresh off the boat, banana eating older refugees to; smile more, look approachable, befriend non-Somalis, and stop friggin’ speaking Somali around foreigners Gosh!. The unchangelable older generation's reaction: a smirk [or insert middle finger], and an impolite "I refuse, you ignorant child")

[Xalimopatra]

Sis Modesty,Marka hore salaams

 

 

The way I see it is...

 

For all the two faced and sinister Somalis out there that take great pleasure in gossiping,being very obtuse to the point where they give total strangers dirty looks and the like,There ARE those wonderful Somalis with xishood iyo caqli that make us sooooo proud to be Somali.In the heat of all of this let us not forget to praise them because they deserve it!

 

The best you can do is stay away from those that speak poison and raise you future family the best you can!

 

Dont give them any energy!

"Gossip is the opium of the oppressed"

[Janna]

Originally posted by SoMa_InC:

quote: Why are Somalis judgemental?

Aren't you judgemental by referring all Somalis to be judgemental? :confused:

It comes with the territory!

[Gediid]

NO I dont think they are judgemental....They call everything like they see it.They see a girl dressed slutty they call her a ho.They see a Somali guy acting all weird ,they call him a sakhran or junki but so do every nation on the face of this earth...Its a human nature to be judgemental whether they right or wrong and is not only a Somali thing.......

[- Femme -]

Modesty, are you saying that YOU are not judgemental?