[10 Tips] How to be a Successful Husband

[Wiilo]

[10 Tips] How to be a Successful Husband

 

 

Prepared by : Muhammad AlShareef

 

1. Dress up for your wife , look clean and smell good.When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

 

2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

 

3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

 

4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives - radi Allahu 'anhunn. It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

 

5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.

 

6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!

 

7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy . Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.

 

8. Don't belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah - radi Allahu 'anha - was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

 

9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would race his wife Aisha - radi Allahu 'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

 

10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family." Try to be the best!

 

In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - azza wa jall - to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best !!

 

Wabillaahi Towfiiq:...........

[Qac Qaac]

Once again thanks..

[Som@li]

Thanks,,great advice

[Thinkerman]

JZK Wiilo

[Pucca]

neat, thanks for sharing sis

[Juxa]

thanks for sharing

[Conspiracy]

Heey all that beside providing her with a roof and giving her the chance to be a mother .. tsk tsk and what do we poor men get ?

jks.. Thanks anyhow

[RendezVous]

Jazakallah kheiran..It was a good advise..I think we need some of this education for couples and all wanna beeees...

 

divorce is the worst thing I dislike and this is surely part of it's cure..

[RendezVous]

I thought Wiilo had this in mind...

 

http://www.jannah.org/sisters/wifehappy.html

[Kruella]

It's unfortunate, not most of us apply those good behaviors nowadays. It's like teaching an old dog new tricks. I find that it's a rarity for our men to treat their women that way, mainly because he will "seem" whipped or weak to other men. It's all that macho crap. Let's all drop that "show no mercy" attitude insh'allah.

 

Salamz

[Wiilo]

I thought Wiilo had this in mind... Dabcan!

 

Its excellent advice, and it should be implemented wisely guys............

 

 

Salaama Ka Dheh:...........

[Wiilo]

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage!

 

 

The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience.

 

The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship.

 

Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings .

 

The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded. Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life.

 

It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one's intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit. Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses.

 

Muslims should always remember that one's spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship.

 

Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles. Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects.

 

This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime.

 

By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment within the marriage. Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses.

 

Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman.

 

He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing." (Muslim) Be Your Mate's Best Friend Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse's likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible.

 

A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon.

 

A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life. Spend Quality Time Together It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship.

 

Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum.

 

Express Feelings Often This is probably a very "Western" concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but it is important to be open and honest about one's feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise.

 

The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The "silent treatment" has never been the remedy for anything. Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses.

 

The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage. Never Bring up Mistakes of the Past It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes.

In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person.

 

Advice may be given, but not in a harmful manner. Surprise Each Other at Times This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunchbox.

 

A little imagination will go a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively affect the marriage. Have a Sense of Humour This particular aspect can go a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home.

 

Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner will help to make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.

 

Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements: Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution. Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking.

 

Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm and collected. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.

 

This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem. If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.

 

 

Wabillaahi Towfiiq:..............

[Tuujiye]

meeshaan aroos iyo jaceel aa kasoo qamqamooyo..

 

wiilo asxantu

 

wareer badanaa!!!

[underdog]

Tuujiye,

waa yabanahay....sidii hoos laiskugudhigaaye aa garoonki dagaalka waxaa kadhashe ubax yar oo amoraati ah.

 

summerkaan bariis aa meelwalba kasoo socdo.

[Wiilo]

My be,,,,,

 

ani bariis aadna u kululahay sxbyaal, haye yaa leenka ku jiro right now........

 

 

Salaama Ka Dheh:...........