Somali Women and Revert Marriage Phenomenon

[ScarFace]

Garowe Gal and NNC your comments made me chuckle...may allah help our sisters..this revert/salafi marriage phenomenon is causing major problems for some sisters but hey each to their own..

 

It seems to be the norm in one/two major refugee cities(Euro trash/watever yu may call them) and subhanallah the stories are quite horrific to say the least...

 

We can only pray for these lost souls....

[Che -Guevara]

Originally posted by Cara.:

^^Don't you know

 

1. Religious

2. Has a good heart

3. Does not have balwad

 

Pick only two

I get the feeling your two choices won't include "religious"talk about discriminating an entire group of people

[Yaabka-Yaabkiis]

I am tired i need to sleep dee

[Honesita]

Originally posted by Mr. Gello:

Since it’s the Somali-women hate season, I thought I might as well add to the hatred by voicing something which has bugged me for sometime now.

 

Lately there has been a tendency for Somali women to marry Muslim reverts. Although as a practicing man, I have nothing but love and respect for the marriage of Muslim sisters to Muslim brothers. I am concerned by the extent to which Somali women throw themselves towards any new revert to Islam in the hope of a marriage made in heaven. This is a worrying phenomenon and I think its very important we safe-guard the marriage of Somali women to Somali men.

 

Why are young Somali sisters intent on marrying any new revert. What’s wrong with the plenty of good Somali men out there? As a Somali man, I have to admit, Somali men have plenty of short-comings but this shouldn’t mean that Somali women have marry other men of different races to find a successful Muslim men.

 

My suggestion is Somali women need to be optimistic and realize

there are plenty of successful Somali men out there! there are plenty of successful Somali men out there! Marrying other races induces nothing but problems and we need to put a stop to this worrying phenomenon before its gets out of hand!

 

Cheers

 

Mr. Gello

And where are the plenty of practicing Somali brothers willing to marry these girls?

 

I only read your opening and jumped to responding, sorry if I repeat what others might have said...

 

But really, I see a looooot of amazing sisters whose simple desire is to get married to a practicing Somali man... someone who has courage to do it the Islamic way... my Somali brothers are not stepping up to these sisters... but the non-Somalis are, like flock... Whether you are Somali or Non, there are problems in marriage... so I would not discourage this phenomena for that particular reason... I know the desire to marry within your culture is a natural one... and walaahi a lot of these sisters would rather have a Somali man, but they just don't see them... how can we then blame them? Should we ask them to approach the men? Should we ask them to become second wives to already taken great Somali men? Or should we ask them to remain single when they know their their natural feelings have kicked in?

 

Or should we think about another creative solution to this serious problem? (If you consider it a problem that is) Both our men and our women need a paradigm shift in the way they approach marriage and the PROCESS of marriage! Of course this applies to those who sincerely want marriage and won't compromise on the blessings that come from Allah when done properly!

 

Fi Amaani'Laah

[Chimera]

^LOL, good, honest Somali men have become a rare item these day eh? Like a near-extinct Pokemon specie, they are being pursued by crowds of Somali women armed with Pokeballs, their motto; gotta catch em all! Aww poor poor sisters, i know you guys wanted a rare Mewtwo, but instead you simply got to settle with a ordinary Bulbasar.

 

It amuses me when some people try to justify the decisions of these sisters, with the reason that there aren't enough 'good Somali men' around, when its their god given right to marry whomever they wish to hitch with. The reason a revert would find it easier to approach the Somali community than lets say a Pakistani/Moroccan or Kurdish community is because Somali men don't resort to twisted things like intimidation or worse honor killings, matter fact in terms of the Global Islamic community, traditionaly we are probably one of the most liberal male groups, yet when i read similar topics on Islamic forums it's always us being demonised for whatever reason.

 

If you married John who became Yusuf, because you liked him as a person, regardless of his phenotype, i say Masha-allah, but if you married him with the excuse that you couldn't find a 'Nin Rag ah' from our community, i say you are a deluded nutcase.

 

I tried finding a funny quote from a muslim forum where two sisters were discussing why one of them would marry outside the community, her reason was: many Somali men don't speak English well, she ended up marrying a German revert LOLOLOL, i mean c'mon Germans watch 'Friends' in German LOL, even my little nephew from Holland has a better grasp of English than the average German.

 

Stop the excuses people, if you want to expand your horizon on the canvas that is your life, make sure you don't paint a stormy cloud over ours, let us be in peace! Go your way and we go ours, no need to second guess your decision or justify it.

[Chimera]

D/P

[Kulmiye]

Originally posted by Prince of Punt:

^

her reason was:

many Somali men don't speak English well

, she ended up marrying a German revert LOLOLOL, i mean c'mon Germans watch 'Friends' in German LOL, even my little nephew from Holland has a better grasp of English than the average German.

Hahaha, i suppose she wanted something outside the farax accent. but well said Punt. Both men and women have every right to partner with whom they feel is the right choice. the world is a small place with technology and more diverse than ever- Just because a somali woman is with someone outside her ethnic group doesnt mean she couldnt find someone within her own ethnic group. Its her God giving right to be with whoever she wants to be.

[B]

Originally posted by Prince of Punt:

i know you guys wanted a rare Mewtwo

I still have that shiny! lol.

[Somalina]

I don't know what makes you chuckle Scarface. Maybe you and your followers are smelling the sour grapes.

 

I have plenty of girlfriends who are married to reverts. They are still happily married and embracing Islam together.

 

On the down side, I know many somali brothers who are baby daddies for non somali women. "I guess they don't apply the no glove no love" rule. Or they must have forgotten it. Or maybe, just maybe it happens when you're loaded with booze and high on mary jane.

 

If we were in Somalia we wouldn't have this discussion now, would we?

[ScarFace]

loool....NNC what sour grapes?

 

You may have a lot girlfriends who are married to reverts and good for you but generally reverts from poor backgrounds, ex convicts, ex drug dealers/users who just wear a long robe, grow a beard are marrying these lost sisters. Is that all that is required to be on the right path/embracing Islam together?

 

Yes I'm generalising however majority of black reverts come from the circumstances I have mentioned before and I grew up with a lot them before they accepted Islam and they still continue on the same path as per previous. Now these reverts are known for their ignorance, superficiality, falsehood, partisanship and blind following ways.

 

Converting to Islam will not wipe away your problems and the environment you grew up in. The sisters fall foul into that revert fever pit and I just smile(pray for them ofcourse) and say OHHH WELL each to their own waa iska caaadiyow qalad bay ka fahamtay this revert sh*t.

 

When you are considering marriage, you should always consider the person's background, upbringing, his/her families involvement. You cannot under estimate the importance of heritage and culture.

 

 

LOOOL@Prince of Punt........ :cool:

[Honesita]

Originally posted by Prince of Punt:

 

It amuses me when some people try to justify the decisions of these sisters, with the reason that there aren't enough 'good Somali men' around, when its their god given right to marry whomever they wish to hitch with. The reason a revert would find it easier to approach the Somali community than lets say a Pakistani/Moroccan or Kurdish community is because Somali men don't resort to twisted things like intimidation or worse honor killings, matter fact in terms of the Global Islamic community, traditionaly we are probably one of the most liberal male groups, yet when i read similar topics on Islamic forums it's always us being demonised for whatever reason.

I'm afraid my point was totally missed! I can repeat though, no problem. I did not say there are NO good Somali brothers... I said, WHERE are they? Where do the sisters find them? The problem to me is the medium in which they meet and interact.

 

We are mentioning stories of sisters not wanting Somali men because they don't speak Somali and Somali brothers becoming baby dadies with non-Muslims and I'm thinking: are we going to judge one another based on what a number of inexperienced/foolish/ignorant ones do? It becomes a session of blaming then... and I was more interested in problem/solution typa discussion here... Like, what is the real root cause of the problem (if it is a problem, and i actually see some of it as a problem) and what can we do to solve it? Insha Allah I made some sense!

 

Fi Amaani'Laah

[Chimera]

You expect to find a pious brother by going to the club?, hang in the mall?, visit a one-ethnic group dominated mosque?, yeah good luck with that! Unbelievable, i would never utter nonsense like; ''Where are they, where are the good Somali sisters?'', because i have seen hundreds of them, including my own kin, and all of them with good successful Somali men. The fact that there are some Somali brothers marrying revert sisters doesn't mean i have to start wondering why they couldn't find a ''good Somali woman'', that's such a logical fallacy.

 

and let's be honest the sisters in the aforementioned stories would not marry a Somali brother even if he was a Sahaba, any of those excuses used by them where they degrade the Somali male demographic is just them second guessing their decision, and through the demonisation of Somali men they justify to themselves that this lifetime companion they have chosen was the right one. This feeling last for a year or two and then the inner demons start chipping away, because nobody can sustain an act for too long.

 

The proper sisters who married reverts and don't feel the need to justify themselves or explain their decision by degrading their fathers and brothers are usually the ones who are at peace with themselves and their surroundings. If i married an Indonesian muslim girl, i would do this, because i most likely LOVE HER AS A PERSON, and i'm ATTRACTED TO HER LOOKS, why the hell would i need to start talking crap about Somali women in general when they have nothing to do with how i feel about this Indonesian sister? If i degraded Somali women to justify my decision to marry an Indonesian girl, wouldn't it reflect badly on myself? Wouldn't it look like i have personal issues and a big chip on my shoulder? Yeah it would! Therefore is my opinion on the Somali community and Somali women really credible as a result? A BIG FAT NO!!

 

There are millions of happy and unhappy Somali Couples versus a few hundred Happy and unhappy mixed couples, by the end of 2100 there will be 100 million Somali men and women, so i really don't see why you are looking for a solution to a non-issue.

 

and lol@ you actually taking NNC's hearsay comment as the 'truth', this is just her lashing back at Scarface's comments. This whole debate is just another example in the epic Somali 'battle of the Sexes'. The ''Megalomaniacs'' of the Y-chromosome side seek to dominate the women in everything they do and hence dispute their god given right to marry whomever they wish, because according to them that's a exclusive Somali male priveledge. The ''What have you done for me Lately?'' XX-chromosome side because of various reasons such as lack of appreciation, or ''he doesn't bring us flowers'' want to press home the point that there are plenty of fish in the Sea.

 

yawn walahi!

[Queen Arawello]

I reckon we shouldnt judge somali women who love reverts. its their choice. i dont it like the attitude of some somali men who think they get the best of the rest after doing everything they want. that is not nice. lets be fair.

[Honesita]

Originally posted by Prince of Punt:

You expect to find a pious brother by going to the club?, hang in the mall?, visit a one-ethnic group dominated mosque?, yeah good luck with that! Unbelievable, i would never utter nonsense like; ''Where are they, where are the good Somali sisters?'', because i have seen hundreds of them, including my own kin, and all of them with good successful Somali men. The fact that there are some Somali brothers marrying revert sisters doesn't mean i have to start wondering why they couldn't find a ''good Somali woman'', that's such a logical fallacy.

 

and let's be honest the sisters in the aforementioned stories would not marry a Somali brother even if he was a Sahaba, any of those excuses used by them where they degrade the Somali male demographic is just them second guessing their decision, and through the demonisation of Somali men they justify to themselves that this lifetime companion they have chosen was the right one. This feeling last for a year or two and then the inner demons start chipping away, because nobody can sustain an act for too long.

 

The proper sisters who married reverts and don't feel the need to justify themselves or explain their decision by degrading their fathers and brothers are usually the ones who are at peace with themselves and their surroundings. If i married an Indonesian muslim girl, i would do this, because i most likely LOVE HER AS A PERSON, and i'm ATTRACTED TO HER LOOKS, why the hell would i need to start talking crap about Somali women in general when they have nothing to do with how i feel about this Indonesian sister? If i degraded Somali women to justify my decision to marry an Indonesian girl, wouldn't it reflect badly on myself? Wouldn't it look like i have personal issues and a big chip on my shoulder? Yeah it would! Therefore is my opinion on the Somali community and Somali women really credible as a result? A BIG FAT NO!!

 

There are millions of happy and unhappy Somali Couples versus a few hundred Happy and unhappy mixed couples, by the end of 2100 there will be 100 million Somali men and women, so i really don't see why you are looking for a solution to a non-issue.

 

and lol@ you actually taking

NNC's hearsay comment as the 'truth', this is just her lashing back at

Scarface

's comments. This whole debate is just another example in the epic Somali 'battle of the Sexes'. The

''Megalomaniacs''

of the Y-chromosome side seek to dominate the women in everything they do and hence dispute their god given right to marry whomever they wish, because according to them that's a exclusive Somali male priveledge. The

''What have you done for me Lately?''

XX-chromosome side because of various reasons such as lack of appreciation, or ''he doesn't bring us flowers'' want to press home the point that there are plenty of fish in the Sea.

 

yawn walahi!

By going to the club! Are you serious? Is it me or are assumptions being made here?

 

Walaalo when we say the Somali sisters/brothers can marry who ever they choose, we are completely ignoring that we have parents that would really hate for us to marry outside our race. If we are interested in pleasing our parents while not compromising our interests we are going to run into a wall that acts as a barrier in meeting suitable spouses. Yes there is a problem when people talk like Somali brothers and sisters run into each others randomly in the streets, at work places, coffee shops and even masaajid. There are traditional and Islamic ways of meeting and going about the process of marriage that many Somalis have drifted away from while still wanting to keep things traditional and/or Islamic. Some of my close friends have married reverts and they are happy and I definitely don't see it as a problem. But I see a problem when I see some of my sincerely interested to marry pious sisters preferring only Somali brothers but not knowing how to meet them!

 

I hope you understand where I'm coming from, because if you did you really would not have assumed that I argue for the clubbing sisters! Subxanna Allah, bal maxaa igalay naag club joogta iyo guurkeeda!

 

Fi Amaani'Laah

[ElPunto]

P.O.P et al,

 

When you can find large numbers of Somali women in jail, trafficking in drugs, murdering each other, joining gangs, being deliquents and absentee parents - then you can really speak of 'degrading Somali men' and 'demonisation of Somali men'. Otherwise - this is all cloud cuckoo land talk.