Somali Women and Revert Marriage Phenomenon

[Che -Guevara]

^Habo-I'm concerned why have you become an advocate for reverts

 

I have no real object if that's what tickles your fancy. I won't even question if the only reason one marries white or white revert is cuz it is fashionable thing to do. But what I disagree with is the idea that cultural heritage plays no role in choosing mate and that using culture as criteria is un-Islamic. It is choice much like those marrying reverts chose to over-look cultural differences.

 

And even for practical purposes, culture is important.Whether you marry revert or Somali, culture or subcultures have their role. Like Lily said, if you marry Paki, would you really have your in-laws living with you and would your Paki husband appreciate the fact that you have send monthly stipend to some distant relative in Somalia.

 

Summing it up, I don't see how it is un-Islamic to use culture as criteria in choosing mate. It is not discriminatory either. It is choice and again much like marrying reverts choose to overlook cultural differences. And needless to say also, the concept of nationhood is central to human existence and I'm sure Islam addresses that too.

 

LooooooL@french-that could be possible-so gabdhado ma dhaley

 

I have niece that's half Hispanic-I'm little ashamed her Somali is better than mine.

[Abaay Heylay]

Agree with Duke, if you want marry cadaan go for it, if you want stick with Somali thats even better. I love my muslim brothers and sisters, but I would never marry outside of the somali race.

[Blessed]

I can't be that eloquent Malika when both Che and Lily are responding to arguments that I haven't made. I'm@confused.com

 

Lily,

I meant people overcome barriers if they want to, I'm sure you've seen successful interracial marriages- Muslim or otherwise.

 

Everything I wrote is based on the arguments presented by Gheelle and Naasiro that thse marriages dilute, effect Somali culture in general. It's a very weak argument. We're losing our culture on our own, case in point Dukes example. I know many revert sisters who are married to Somalis and they've adobted our culture.

 

Che,

Actually what is fashionable is not get married at all and for Faaraxs and Xalimos to bash @each other. I'm not advocating for anything but in faduulimada la joojiyo.-- oh.. and shall I also state my personal preference for good measure? LOL.

 

 

p.s Are you trying to give me a heart attack here.. do you know how old my babies are? Hopefully we'll be living back home by then- culture lose won't be an issue for us. Insha Allah.

[Oz]

Originally posted by Blessed.*:

Lily,

I meant people overcome barriers if they want to, I'm sure you've seen successful interracial marriages- Muslim or otherwise.

Very few majority don't last. But insha’Allah if it is successful, there is a huge potential for making dawah and helping to make impact in society. Also, don’t forget the fringe benefit of having super-cute children masha’Allah

 

 

Know that it will take time for the families of both parties to integrate and become comfortable with one another. The key is for both people to be willing to put up with that and work towards their ultimate goal of insha’Allah having a good Muslim family. Even outside of family, you will deal with smaller things like trying to fit into social groups that exist in masaajid and communities, or being looked at as the ‘token interracial couple’ of an event, etc.

[Malika]

Blessed,these kind of thread do tend to be confused.com,as any topic to do with personal preferences,opinions etc. What I believe,and I do believe that culture has little basis in a marriage,as 'my' understanding marriage like everything else about a Muslim's life is for the sake of Allah.Marka halkan ayaa kaa hareyaa this discussion..

 

LOL@OZ's very few majority..heh,so are Somali/Somali marriages.

[Che -Guevara]

^Habo-how can I say this without sounding blasphemous.You don't marry for sake of Allah only that's not to say marriage is not within the realms of His blessings. While Islam does play a central role-humans traits can't and shouldn't be overlooked.If you do, you would be in for rude awakening regardless of ethnic you marry.

 

I'm reminded of wadaada Soomaalida "Diinta iyo Ilaahey magaciisa aan isku guursano" sounds good in theory but ignores practical implications.

 

 

Blessed*...LooooooL..Bisinka I didn't mean now but I share your optimism. Hopefully, they will get to see and live in their country of origin with peace and prosperity.

[5]

^ Usually people who say "ilaahey dardiisa aan isku guursano" are the worst spouse material. They are probably people who have re-found God recently and decide to lead the most perfect life ever. Their patience usually lasts for months or so.

[Chimera]

The Somali people are one of the largest ethnic groups in Africa, this non existant issue would not be a threat to our survival as a people(if it actually was a 'phenomenon' to begin with). A few marrying out is common in every diasporic community, ask the Chinese, Indians, Turks, Lebanese etc and i don't think there is anything wrong with that. Its simply one of the side-effects of civil-war, that forced us into new environments and interact with different groups of people, similarly now we get questions like do you consider yourself 'black', or some of us feel the effects of an anti-Islamic backlash.

 

All of these issues are things none of our parents or grandparents faced when they grew up in our country. We are the most significant generation that will mold and affect the system of the Somali diaspora unlike any before. This is something i find far more important than helping Mehmed or Riduwan re-establish their monopolies in the Islamic world from their headquarters in Constantinople or Damascus.

 

A Somali companion is the natural choice for me.

[NGONGE]

^^ Save these views in a diary, saaxib. They'll come a time when you're in need of a good laugh.

[Chimera]

^Be less cryptic and highlight what so amusing about my take on this topic.

[NGONGE]

^^ For a start, this line:

 

"All of these issues are things none of our parents or grandparents faced when they grew up in our country".

 

Now think long and hard please.

[Chimera]

My mother and father never attended classes or socialised with people that kept asking them wether they identified as 'black', or non-black, if they really felt 'African' or non-African. My mother and father grew up in a country where everybody looked like them, all of these twisted racial issues we face today are things they never did and regardless of the policies by the Barre regime, stories like random Somalis slaughtering a pig and throwing its head in a mosque, or the pulling of hijabs by anti-Islamic crazies are completely unheard off.

 

What else was amusing?

[NGONGE]

^^ But your grandparents had to contend with Italian, British and French occupiers....

[-Lily-]

^^^ Yes and they were seen as the 'enemy' and hardly everyone's cup of tea.

[Chimera]

Non-sequitur Ngonge, the occupiers influence was non-existant, not on our religion, not on our culture, not on our way of life. My grandfather and mother lived as their ancestors did before and after these imaginary lines were drawn. My grandfather and mother did not lose their first language the way many younglings in our community do today. My grandfather and mother went reguraly to their local mosques undisturbed and the Ayaan Hirsi syndrome was an alien concept. My grandfather and mother socialised with other Somalis, unlike me and the majority of Somali diaspora who go to school, work etc with a myriad of different people. Its disingenous for you to say that the issues faced by us today is comparable to the issues of our grandparents, which was irrendetism and self-determination.