Maternity Leave for Teens

[Che -Guevara]

Even if she did, how could nine year old decide she is ready for marriage.Are you actually sure she was nine?. I was under the impression in Islam adult comes at 15. Forgive my ignorance.

[Aaliyyah]

^^lets not forget back then 9 yrs old was fairly mature.

 

My point was a girl has the right to get pregnant if she decides. Specially, if she is a teenager in high school (thats what between the ages of 15-18). That she has the intellect and the maturity to make a decision on her own. Would you rather have your daughter running around with a bf and sleeping over at his house.I think as a parent you would encourage them to get married.

 

Ofcourse, today's 9 yrs old still plays w/ a doll.I was merely using the prophet's example to get my point across, that age should never be used as an excuse.

 

As age is nothing but a ##########

[Che -Guevara]

^^So in essence,a Muslim man could marry a nine year old today.

 

P.S. I think comparing life of the Prophet (PBUH) and his Wives to the average is like comparing apples to oranges. And no, age is not just number.

[Aaliyyah]

^^^Ofcourse, a muslim man can marry a nine yrs old girl from religious perspective. But, even though it is halaal a 9 yrs old from the prophet's time (csw) can not be compared to today's 9 years old.

 

Anyways, High school girl should have the right to get married and get pregnant if she choose to. In that aspect age is nothing but a number. so what if is 15 16? I think today's 15 yrs old is fairly mature to take such decisions.

 

My point is not to encourage young girls to get married early and have kids. But, if they choose to, there is nothing wrong with it, we should be there and be supportive( get them married etc).

[Che -Guevara]

High school girl should have the right to get married and get pregnant if she choose to, in that aspect age is nothing but a number. so what if is 15 16? I think today's 15 yrs old is fairly mature to take such decisions.

I get this part. Most certianly 15 or 16 yrs can get married from religious prespective. Even here in States, they can married with the parent's permission. I'm not sure if that varies from state to state.

 

But can today's nine year old get married to man. Surely you wouldn't want your nine year daughter old being courted by a man. Is she even allowed to make that decision under religious law. I'm sorry if I sound repatitive.

[J.Lee]

Asking to be excused so their bodies can heal and they could bond with their babies, all important factors supported by many health professions, is hardly a burden to society, ina adeer.

[Aaliyyah]

Che, we are now on the same page. Ofcourse, today's 9 yrs old is not mature enough to take upon such decisions.

 

Asking to be excused so their bodies can heal and they could bond with their babies, all important factors supported by many health professions, is hardly a burden to society, ina adeer.

True, a mother is a mother regardless of her age and needs time for herself and her new born baby.

[Che -Guevara]

Aaliyah...Thanks for your patience. I get to start learning my religion. I have get alot things to look into.

 

J.Lee...With the wealth of knowledge about contraceptives, I fail to see how so many girls could pregnant. Maybe schools should be handing out bills.I'm not trying to be unsympathetic here, but I rather lend a hand to poor African girls who miss school and fall behind simply cuz they are on their periods and don't have resources to buy tampons.

[Nephissa]

Originally posted by J.Lee:

quote:If these girls really cared about education, they would have waited until after high school to get pregnant. They should be forced to take responsibility for the consequences of their own actions. Now there's a lesson worth learning.

That is the most unkind thing I have ever had the displeasure of reading.

 

1. What makes you think they didn't care about their education because they happened to get pregnant?

 

2. Why are you generalizing?

 

3. Since you are being presumptuous, why not assume that some of them could be married? Teens do get married as farfetched as it might seem.

 

4. You make it seem as though it was intentional when it might not have been. Sex doesn't always lead to pregnancy.

 

5. Our lives are guided by a divine order so their pregnancy waa loo qoray: meaning there is no amount of condoms or abstinence classes that could've stopped it.

 

It happened. There is nothing that can be done about it except to deal with it positively and help them out. They should just do their work at home and either have the counselor pick it up or have a family member drop it off.

Methinks you're protesting to much. With that said, dealing it positively means giving a child the green light to go ahead to commence having sex. When teenage girls see a pregnant teen receiving positive attention from their peers, teachers and even their family it does nothing to deter them from getting pregnant themselves. Markaa in loo sacab-tumo waa khalad. These are girls as young as 13, I'm not assuming anything other than stating what they really deserve and truly are. And the truth is, teen pregnancy comes from irresponsibility, istupidity, and carelessness. The fact that the article didn't mention a baby daddy makes me believe they're having these kids unwed.

 

Just curious: what do you mean "waa loo qoray?"

Are you saying they should do whatever and whoever that moves, since the outcome of their lives is already decided and whatever they do doesn't matter, kolee waa loo qoree? Let's all party then , I've always wanted to use that as a cop-out of my responsibility for my own actions.

 

Aaliyah: Whoa! That's a whole new subject on its own!

[Diaspora_Dude]

Kids always had kids. It is not aberration or new phenomena.

Refresh my memory in the era when kids (9 - 13) year olds were poping babies left to right.

[J.Lee]

Looool OMG!

 

Having sex is a personal choice. Personal being the operative word meaning none of your business. Live and let live, maandhay.

 

As for stating that it was fate, well buttercup it was. We have free will to a certain extent meaning we are ignorant of the choices we will make until that time arrives however Allah already knows our decisions and its outcome. Keep that in mind.

 

You are in no position to sit in judgment of anyone.

 

Pasta! End of discussion. Agree to disagree

 

Che, walaal you could still do that. These girls aren't telling you not to. Mida kale, they don't need anything from you and I.

[Nephissa]

if the idea of a 13 year old having a 'personal choice' appeals to you, than hey, by all means...live and let live. We can't all be so liberal minded . I will judge and watch them like a hawk!

[J.Lee]

I live and let live so I'm liberal minded? O' well purdie then.

 

Well, supposing you are a Muslim you are committing shirk at the moment. Judgment is for God alone and you are attributing that quality to yourself (However, Allah knows best!)

 

If you are that worried about the sexual habits of teens then what do you do, besides judge and watch, to educate young girls?

 

I'm serious.

[winnie]

i dont wanna get into a typh, i realy dont, but the idea that aiding teenage mothers to pursue higher learning is going to encourage other young girls to get pregnant is ridiculous. i think were all looking at this situation very myopically (i hope thats a word). there are other factors to the high rate of teen pregnancies. i bet anything the bulk of the statistics is from black girls, with a history of sexual abuse in the family, domestic abuse, and generations of single mothers. poverty and race play a huge role. these girls arent having more sex than the kids in the white schools, but the white kids are using birth control or opting for abortions. im not making a judgement here, im just saying that circumstances and history are a factor, slavery is a factor, social values is a factor. i've read articles touching on the same subject where young girls said they actively wanted to get pregnant because they wanted to have a purpose, motherhood gives them a purpose to live. i mean, we can all sit back and talk about how haram or irresponsible it is but for now this is a non-issue amongst somalis. of course that doesnt mean we should get on our high horses and sweep this under the rug as if its something that cant affect us. obviously we should encourage marriage, at any age, including teens (in my opinion). kids right now are dating, muslim kids, and some may be engaging in premarital sex, and meanwhile parents aren't advising them to marry. instead our sons are patted on the back and our daughters beaten into a pulp. here's a question to you all, if your 15 yr old son was in a serious relationship (what he viewed as serious) would you encourage him to marry or advise him to wait until his education is done with and he has gotten himself a job? and would it matter to you of what background the girl is? how many situations like this do you know of?

[LayZie G.]

^^So in essence,a Muslim man could marry a nine year old today.

LOL@CHE, Maanta waa lagaa yaabiyay haye?

9 yr olds with babies, waa "xashaasha" mey dhihijireen?

 

Before I start off with couple of the folks here, let me put my conservative hat on.

 

Ladies, and you know who you are, moral issues are not up for debate, much as as you would love to believe the jibrish aad meesha kusoo qorteen, its just not going to cut it.

 

We shouldn't have to excuse and say " to each his own" when it comes to children who have no family values and no faith to guide them inorder to make the right decisions in life.

 

Yes, our path in life is pre-determined and allah knows the outcome of our choices, but that still doesn't excuse children having babies outside of marriage.

 

If parents fail the children, then society has a responsibility to pick-up the slack.

 

Inorder words, its our moral duty teach these teens that their life choices has consequence, one that comes with a hefty fine.

 

We can not sit by and allow children to make noise through the media, to make their outrageous requests acceptable, no way, no how.

 

They need to learn that it was them alone that went and had unprotected, careless casual sex, and it is them who have to deal with the outcome.

 

We shouldn't and we will not accommodate such ill behaviour.

 

Now, what I am more shocked about more than anything being discussed is the nonchalant attitude that our very own muslim sista's are displaying in a public forum. (businesskooda kuleh", BS iska dheh waxaas)

 

Now, bravo to Nephy for stepping up to bring this very serious issue at the heart of the forum.

 

Remember people, it isn't just the gaalo children that are facing such high numbers in teen pregnancy. Our own children, 15, 16, 17, 18 yr olds are having casual s*x, because their hommies are doing it too.

 

If you are somali parent, I feel sorry for you.

 

You have one hell of a battle ahead of you if you are raising small children in this day and age.

 

you not only have to step your game up, but you gotta be ahead of the game.